More Like a Movie

Bright and early before my alarm even went off, I was woken up by Tony who kept causing a commotion as he bounced around the room with more energy than any person should have on a Monday morning. Either he had forgotten that he shared a room with another person or he was purposely trying to disturb me. It didn’t matter which one it was because after about five minutes of listening to his mumbles and hisses when he’d stub his toe or bump his elbow, I shot up out of bed, thrashing around in my blankets until I was practically tangled in them and gave him my best glare.

He froze in place, leg hitched up, shoe in hand and halfway on his foot. I stared at him in what I hoped was anger but my sleepy face probably masked that emotion. Blinking his eyes a couple of times, he never broke our gaze, slowly slipping his shoe on the rest of the way and giving me a half smile when he was finished. When he was back on two feet he zipped up his hoodie and slid his hands into the pockets.

“Sorry Kellin,” he offered but I didn’t buy it. He didn’t even have a morning class today so why the fuck was he up so early?

“What are you even doing?” I croaked out in a whine. My voice sounded terrible for just waking up, my throat dry and sore and I hoped that it was only the effects from my night’s sleep and not the first signs of a cold or something. “You don’t have class, do you?”

“No,” he frowned, sucking on his bottom lip and looking away from me. I sensed hesitance, like he wanted to tell me something but didn’t know if he should. He’d been doing that a lot lately but I learned to ignore it for the most part. And I would have just dropped it today too if it weren’t for the fact that it was just so goddamn early.

“Out with it,” I snapped with my fingers and caught his attention.

He sighed and put his hood up, grabbing the strings and yanking on them until it cinched around his face and his eyes and lips were totally hidden from me, covered by black cotton. A string of words came out of his mouth but they got lost in the fabric, making it so I couldn’t hear a thing.

“Tony,” I demanded, my high pitched voice presenting itself as the sleep started to wear off.

Though it was barely audible, I heard him groan and he followed my demand, loosening his hood to reveal his face to me. His smile was weak and I felt uneasy. Tony was usually beaming, even on the cloudiest days, but this was different. This was secretive.

“I’m running late,” he started, prefacing for something bigger. The space between my spot on the bed and his on the floor became smaller as he cautiously approached me. Genuine concern filled his eyes, worry for someone. Worry for me. He sat down on the edge of my bed, hand finding mine and giving it a comforting squeeze. “I’m heading to the airport.”

Those five words left his lips and hung in the air above me, each syllable taking its time to register with me. It didn’t click until the word airport showed up in big bold letters in my head, blinking lights and fireworks couldn’t have made it more obvious. How could I have forgotten?

“That’s today?” I squeaked, pulling my knees up to my chest in an attempt to make myself disappear behind my blankets. The guys had been talking about it occasionally but I didn’t realize the day had approached already. Vic was finally leaving.

I let go of Tony’s hand and brought my arms to the tops of my knees, folding them across and hiding my face. I wouldn’t cry, but I had to collect my breathing. I could feel another attack coming on and I didn’t want that. I had finally gotten over the incident at the club and I didn’t need another embarrassing episode to add to my mental checklist.

Tony’s face softened in sympathy. He’d been preparing for this. I could tell by the way he carefully tackled the subject. No wonder the guys were being so weird yesterday. They were trying to distract me.

“His plane leaves in a couple of hours and I promised that I’d ride with the guys to drop him off,” he said sadly.

I was being selfish, only thinking about how I felt about Vic leaving that I didn’t really pay attention to Tony or Jaime, or god, even Mike. Tony would be fine. He and Vic were best friends but they’d stay in touch and so would Jaime. I knew Mike would too, but I remembered what Vic told me about him and the real reason why he chose this school instead of some elite business university closer to home. He had separation anxiety. He was probably feeling worse than I was.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” He asked, almost desperate. He wanted me to say yes, but I just couldn’t. Vic didn’t want to see me and at this point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to see him. I was taking Jerry’s advice and going on with my life. I couldn’t do that if I kept myself hooked on Vic. It wasn’t healthy for me. Besides, the guys needed more time with him than I did. Mike needed more time with him.

“I’m positive,” I forced out, giving a smile that neither of us believed. He didn’t press the issue any further though. Like Jerry, Tony wanted me to move on, but he was respectful enough to offer me the option of saying my goodbye, thinking that it would be best for me to get closure.

The thought of Vic leaving without seeing me really hit me hard, but it was better this way. Everything had sort of settled and fallen into place and that last piece of hope that I had been clinging to, broke.

“I should get ready, too,” I changed the subject. Class started soon and I had to shower still. “Plus you’re already late as it is. Better go so they don’t leave without you.”

Reluctantly, he nodded and stood up from the bed to leave me to my own devices. He grabbed his wallet and dorm key from the desk, shoving them both into the back pocket of his jeans. Before he left, he gave me one last chance.

“I’ll tell him you wish him well,” he said, but I shook my head.

“Don’t mention me at all,” I told him. “He doesn’t need to worry about me anymore.”

Tony looked surprised, but smiled, officially accepting the fact that I was done with Vic Fuentes. It was scary as hell to actually think that way, but at the same time I felt relieved. Whether or not this feeling was temporary, I didn’t know, but for the time being I was done and I was okay.



Having a tough attitude was better to achieve in my mind than actually going through with it. The second class started and Mat started droning on about cinematic structure, I let my thoughts wander back to the first class I had with Vic. Our professor just so happened to be Mat and I remember he seemed to hate Vic as much as Vic hated me. Thinking on it now, I laugh. That first day I sat there next to him, I never thought I’d fall in love with him.

But I did. And I was thankful.

I came to this school with absolutely no idea what I was doing. I was just some inexperienced, overdramatic, and completely uptight kid. Vic was the one to change all of that. I used to be afraid of guys like him and when I first arrived at this school, it was no different. He terrified me yet managed to capture my interest almost immediately. It still amazes me that he allowed me to get so close. The tough and arrogant guy I met at the diner, the one who called me out for staring at him, became the sweetest person to ever walk into my life.

And I just…let him go. Everyone told me not fight, that it would only drive him away and I had every intention of doing that. Fuck, I told Tony this morning that I was done with him, but sitting here and thinking about all that we had been through even before we started dating, I realized that letting him go wasn’t the right decision.

I used to be this scared little boy. Growing up without many friends, I hid under blanket forts and watched my movies. I got lost in film and only now did I finally understand that reality was so much better and Vic? He was better than any story.

Why was I here? I shouldn’t be sitting in a classroom, learning something I already knew, I should be at the airport with my friends. I should be saying goodbye to my favorite person. The past few days have had my emotions in a spin. One day was hot, the next cold. I hated him, I loved him. He drove me crazy and he made me happy. I wanted to slap him and kiss him and fight until we made up and that was fucking life. It wasn’t the romance you saw in films, it was the raw emotion you experienced firsthand from fighting and screaming to making up and kissing. It was sad and it was rough and it was dirty and gritty and real. And I couldn’t believe it took me this long to figure it out.

It was decided I had to go to Vic. If I was quick, I’d make it just before he got on his flight. But I had to leave now. So without disturbing the class, I quickly slipped my books into my messenger bag and rose from my seat, ready to make a sharp exit. Before slipping out the door, I turned to look over my shoulder and found Mat smiling, nodding his head and telling me to go.

The second the door closed behind me I bolted down the hallway, shoes pounding on the marble floor and echoing in my ears. My heart was racing, hands sweating, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but it was exciting. I could potentially change everything. I just needed to find Vic first and force him to hear me out.

I caught a cab quickly, telling him that I needed to get to the airport as fast as he could legally get me there. This was so unlike me but that’s how I knew it was the right choice. Sitting in the back of the cab, I stared out the window with the biggest smile on my face. I finally had my moment where everything switched from bad to good and my mind didn’t feel cloudy anymore.



Arriving at the airport, I paid Jim, the driver who had listened to a condensed version of my story and thanked him for putting up with me. He smiled and waved me off, encouraging me to go do what I came here to do. It was nerve wracking, but I pushed through the people that were scattered outside and went to the screens to find the departing flights. I knew they wouldn’t let me past security unless I got a gate pass and I didn’t have time for that so I chose to get as close as I possibly could and scan the airport to see if I could find a familiar face.

His flight was scheduled to depart at 12:20 meaning that I had little to no time to make things right. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration and stopped pacing when someone I knew came into focus. My breathing picked up and my body became all jittery, but when I saw the tears on Mike’s face, I knew I was too late.

Just like that, the excitement left my body and pooled onto the floor at my feet. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I sighed. Mike crying only meant one thing and that was that Vic had already left. He was on his plane. He wasn’t coming back.

I placed my hand over my lips, dragging it down my chin as my world seemed to come crashing down again. I missed him. Fuck, I actually missed him. I wanted to turn around and run out of there before the guys saw me, but it was no use. Jaime’s eyes met mine and he looked a little shocked before his face turned to sadness and he frowned.

My hands went to my hips and my head hung down, body shaking while tears dripped down my cheeks. Vic was going to London and I didn’t get to say goodbye.

“Fuuuck,” I groaned and bent over, hands moving to my knees trying to keep myself from falling. I breathed in and out, using the exercises that always seemed to work in overwhelming situations.

A comforting hand on my back made me stand straight again, coming face to face with my best friends. They all had the same looks on their faces, morose and sadness. As strange as it was, it was comforting to know I wasn’t alone. I held out my arms and they gave faint smiles, hugging me tightly.

“Come on,” Tony whispered, breaking the silence first. “Let’s grab lunch.”



Getting back to the dorm I had calmed down a considerable amount. I wasn’t feeling sad anymore, just empty, I guess. The plan was to go back to the way it was before he left like I had originally decided. Maybe once he was settled and got in touch with Mike I’d reach out to him and apologize but until then, I had to wait.

Tony was still out with our friends, me being the one to ditch out early, so I knew that he hadn’t been back yet. I reached into my pocket to retrieve my key, simultaneously grabbing the door handle and frowning when I noticed that it had cracked open a tiny bit. I left the room after Tony did. I’m always forgetting to lock the door but I swore that I did before I left for class this morning.

But maybe I was just forgetful, my mind someplace else and not on the things in front of me. I pushed it open anyway, tossing my bag to the floor and flicking on the lights, stopping in my tracks not in any way prepared for what I saw.

There, sitting on my bed with his hands in his lap and his bags by his feet, was Vic.

“Oh my God,” I said as I felt the tears start to form, again. He smiled brightly at me and stood up, gingerly taking the steps to where he was standing in front of me. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Was this a dream or was he really here? My eyes trailed over his body, his signature black skinny jeans paired with one of his favorite hoodies. Brown hair in curls, falling over his shoulders, and his shiny silver nose ring hooked on the right side. This was him. He was here.

“Surprise,” he whispered in that voice that still gave me chills.

“Oh my God,” I repeated, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him but still so afraid that if I did so he would just disappear. I was speechless, at a complete loss for words. Why was he here? How was he here? What the fuck was going on?

“I was so ready to leave,” Vic started, closing the distance between us even more. My body was shaking but I didn’t care. I was too emotional to hold it all in. “Sitting on my plane, thinking about my future when a man sat down next to me and started telling me about his day. I had no clue who this guy was or why he even started talking to me, but I listened to him anyway, blabbering about absolutely nothing and that’s when I realized,” he paused to take my face in his hands. “I didn’t want to hear about his day,” he whispered. “I wanted to hear about yours.”

The tears kept falling and no matter how much sniffling I did, I couldn’t stop.

“But that wasn’t all. Then he started talking to me about London and how much he loved it and how every time he left, he couldn’t wait to go back and all I could think about was how I was the complete opposite. I wanted to go and get it over with so I could come back here to find you.”

“Oh my God,” I said for the third time and finally gave into my body’s wants, throwing my arms around him and burying my face in his neck allowing me to sob freely. He still smelled the same; like cinnamon and Earth and oh my God, how I missed that smell. His arms encircled around my waist and he squeezed me tight. I missed this so much.

“I’m so sorry, Kellin,” he murmured, the sound of a cry hiding in his throat. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you and put you through all of this bullshit and that I made you feel like I didn’t love you. You have to know that’s not the truth. I made a mistake – a few mistakes, and I’m so, so sorry.”

He rambled and though it was nice to hear the apologies, I wanted him to stop. So I pushed myself away from him.

“Shut up,” I told him, cutting off another apology.

He looked taken aback, eyes wide and scared. “What?”

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” I asked making him fall silent. He felt guilty, I knew that. “I was miserable, Vic. You hurt me so much and then you just…you leave. Or, you try to. Then you come back here and say you’re sorry and expect me to forgive you?”

He was stunned and he didn’t know what to say, but that was okay. Because I did.

“I had so much time to think and I figured out a lot about myself and I came to the conclusion that even though I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, I need you more than anything.”

My words had a smile breaking out onto his lips and I couldn’t help but return it. Yes, he hurt me, actually, we hurt each other and if he forgave me than I could forgive him. He came back for me. That’s all I could have asked for.

“I love you, Kellin,” he said, cupping my face once again and bringing my lips to his. It had been so long since I’ve felt his kiss. The second our lips touched my head went fuzzy and I practically melted in his arms.

“I love you too, Vic,” I smiled when we pulled apart, wrapping my arms around him once again and resting my head on his chest.

We decided not to tell the guys that he came back yet, instead choosing to have time to ourselves. He took me back to the bridge, the one where he confessed things to me, the one where I shared stories with him. It was freezing cold outside, but next to him I felt warm. Our fingers were intertwined, my head rested on his shoulder, and our feet dangling off the overpass. It was quiet and that’s what we wanted to just sit in silence next to each other, appreciate the fact that we were back together.

I loved this fucking idiot sitting next to me and he loved me too. When I made the decision to come here, I never expected to find someone. I was only trying to fix myself and I did, but in the process I created a beautiful life from it, too.

As for that magic fairytale ending, I didn’t know if I’d ever get it and honestly, I didn’t care. What I had in front of me meant so much more than a perfect storyline. It always would because I had Vic and he was enough.

I always wanted my life to be more like a movie, but this…

This was so much better.