More Like a Movie

The first day of classes always threatens my sanity. Actually, it’s not just the first day it’s the entire first week. It’s pointless and I’ve even had professors who have told me the same thing; that class really doesn’t start until the second week and it’s all just a frustrating mess.

Everyone is in the same position, confused and maybe anxious, wandering around like patients in a hospital with no real direction. Scrambling to make it to class on time, going through the trials and errors to find the right room, or being letdown and devastated when noticing there are zero friends in class with you – whatever your fear may be – there’s a good chance it’ll happen. Simply because it is the first day.

The actual class part isn’t much better. You just sit there in some sort of daze, trying to take in everything that the professor is saying even though it’s clear as day in black and white print on the syllabus directly in front of you. Eventually, it’s just not worth the time anymore so you space out and it stays that way until you finally come back home and take off your pants.

And sadly, I was just getting started.

I woke up, disoriented and with an uneasy feeling resting in my stomach. Right away I knew eating was out of the question. I would try, but I’d most likely fail. As I sat up in my bed, stretching and popping, twisting and turning, my eyes fell onto the empty one next to me and I frowned when I saw that Tony left without me.

Tony and I, along with Vic, were in the same first class. I’d bonded enough with them to believe they’d at least wait for me before leaving. Then again, I wasn’t Vic’s favorite person so maybe he finally convinced Tony to ditch me. Shrugging, I kicked my feet over the bed and quickly stood, needing to get used to the feeling of being alive and awake this early. Piece of advice, if you live on campus, don’t sign up for morning classes, especially 8 am ones. It’s not worth it. I made my way across the room, ready to collect my things for the shower when I saw it. A small piece of paper was folded in half with my name scribbled across the front.

The handwriting belonged to Tony, I noticed as I picked it up. Carefully and slowly my fingers slipped between the sheet, letting the top half flutter back, exposing the words to me.

Morning, Kellin!
Sorry I’m not there, don’t think I ditched you. I had to meet with my advisor early this morning before class and I didn’t want to wake you. There are muffins in the top drawer of my desk if you’re hungry. Class is in Patterson Hall, it’s the building by where they keep the bikes. Vic will meet you outside so you don’t get lost. See you later!
-Tony

“Great,” I mumbled, voice still croaky and scratchy from sleep. I let Tony’s note fall back onto his desk and began opening drawers. I couldn’t eat anything heavy, but maybe a muffin wouldn’t be so bad. When I found the right one, I opened it and laughed. Tony wasn’t lying; he had maybe six different types of muffins stored in here. Shaking my head I took a gamble and grabbed one, quickly taking a few bites before heading to the shower.

It only woke me up a little, fatigue still taking over making it next to impossible to even function properly. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I traveled out of the dorms in search of Patterson Hall. I thought back to the tour Tony had given me on my first day and after some deliberation in my head, decided to turn left. Much to my surprise, I was right, and after only a short three minute walk, my eyes came into contact with Vic’s, an annoyed expression on his face and two cups of coffee in his hands. One I assumed was for Tony.

“Hey,” I whispered. Judging by the look on his face he was way past exhausted so I figured I’d be the nice one, a gentleman, and try to keep my voice to a minimum.

All he did in return was mumble something and nod, his eyes falling shut momentarily before he was jolted to his senses by the voices of other students. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. When he was tired and quiet, not running his mouth, he was pretty cute.

“Uh,” he looked around, still pretty out of it. Early on I gathered that Vic was a senior and by the looks of it, it seemed as though someone already had a touch of senioritis. “You drink coffee?” He lifted one of the cups and dangled it in front of me.

I raised my eyebrow in surprise, thinking he actually took me into consideration and wanted to do something nice. Vic must have noticed the expression on my face and shook his head. “It was for Tony, but he texted me and said he was going to be a little late and I’m not one to waste, so.”

My face fell and I rolled my eyes, but snatched the cup from him anyway. Whether it was meant to be mine or not, Vic made a nice gesture and I wasn’t going to refuse. “Thanks,” I said not looking at him, but rather the cup instead.

We stood there for a few more minutes, quietly sipping on the warm beverages before going inside. It was kind of nice to just relax and let the coffee do its thing, coursing through my veins and giving me just that little push that I needed. Even being around Vic was enjoyable because he wasn’t speaking. He was just sort of there, providing company so I wasn’t lonely.

“Are you nervous?” He spoke up, bringing the container to his lips, parting them slightly and letting the last bit of coffee slide in effortlessly. I felt creepy, watching him so intently again, but honestly even with all of the movies I’ve watched, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anyone so perfect. Vic was mesmerizing even when he didn’t intend to be. He made a simple act like drinking coffee seem far more interesting than a majority of the films I’ve seen. The way his head tilted back as he sucked down the hot drink left his neck exposed, an etch of muscle showing as he swallowed. It seemed like time went on forever even though it was maybe five seconds.

“Kellin?” Vic snapped his fingers and I broke out of my trance, slightly embarrassed that he caught me staring, again. This time however he didn’t point it out or make a nasty comment. Maybe he didn’t notice.

Blinking back to reality, I realized he asked me a question. “Oh,” I barely said. “Am I nervous?” I repeated his question to make sure I heard correctly. He just nodded and walked to the trash can, throwing out his empty cup. “I guess. Maybe a little.” I shrugged trying to play it cool when he walked back over to me.

“You’re trembling,” he pointed out and I looked down at my hands, shaking and uncoordinated as the coffee bounced in my grip. Alright, so it was more than a little, but this was a new school and so far I’d made three friends (only two of which were in my major) and a Vic. Not exactly how I wanted to start things.

“I’m fine,” I lied and downed my last bit before tossing out the cup much like Vic had. “Can we go in now?” I was getting pretty antsy and I just wanted to go in the building and find a seat before all of the good ones were taken.

Vic rolled his eyes, saying “whatever” before he turned and made his way up the stairs. I watched him go, nerves holding me in my place. He must have sensed the lack of my presence and sighed, stopping on the very top step. “Let’s go Kels,” he ordered, using that nickname again only this time it wasn’t like before. This time it was nice.

I gave in and followed him in, my eyes locked on his brown curls not letting him out of my sight. The last thing I wanted was to get lost and end up ten minutes late to my very first class. Luckily for me, Vic kept a slow pace so I could keep up and admire the walk at the same time. When we finally made it to the classroom I was pleasantly surprised to find it empty.

“Back,” Vic said and I felt him nudge me forward so I would move. Peeling my eyes away from the scenery, I walked down between the rows of desks and took a seat at the back table. Vic sat down next to me and I inwardly smiled. He wasn’t avoiding me. We were making progress.

“Where is everyone?” I decided to ask when I looked down at my phone and noted that we only had about 15 minutes until class was set to start.

Vic shrugged and placed his arms on the desk, letting his head fall onto them. “Probably still waiting downstairs. I like to get here early,” he grumbled, “Get a few minutes of peace and quiet,” his words came out a bit harsh so I took that as my cue to stop talking.

Awkwardly I sat next to him, stealing glances every now and then, taking note on how he hunched over the desk, probably close to falling back asleep. The lights were still off since neither Vic nor I turned them on upon entering so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in a dreamland.

“I can feel you looking at me, Kellin,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “Do you always stare at people? Didn’t your parents tell you that it’s impolite?” Although his words came out muffled by his clothing, I heard every single one, embarrassment and shame creating a horrible mix inside of me and making my face go hot.

“I’m observant,” I whispered and pulled out a notebook and a pen. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I honestly don’t mean to stare, it just happens and I don’t realize I’m doing it,” I said honestly. I’ve always been like this. My attention lands on something and I have to watch, observe, almost like taking mental photographs. And I still had so many moments of Vic I wanted to capture.

“Well observe someone else,” he muttered and I wanted so badly to tell him that I was trying. Really, I didn’t want to become so fascinated with Vic. It would only end horribly wrong, but as much as I tried, I failed. It was his fault, though. He was the mysterious one; the book with no last page. Only an idiot wouldn’t be drawn to him.



“What’s wrong with him?” Tony asked when Vic buried his face deeper into his arm. We’d been sitting in class for about ten minutes now and Tony had finally showed up. The professor was standing at the front of the room, going through his six bags probably looking for something. I turned in my chair so I could see better and shrugged, indicating that I didn’t know what was wrong with Vic. I assumed he was tired.

“Another late night hookup?” Tony suggested with a smirk and I frowned at the thought. As dickish and immature as Vic was, I couldn’t deny that I had an attraction to him and hearing about his hook ups or whatever wasn’t exactly ideal. I wasn’t jealous, not in the way one would think, anyway. Yeah, okay, maybe I’ve got myself a mini crush on Vic, but I was more envious than anything. Vic was the type of guy who had well, casual sex. I was not. Not even close. And that’s why I envied him.

Next to me, Vic stirred, disrupting any further thoughts I might have. He raised his hand, curling down all but his middle finger, aiming it for where Tony sat. “Shut up you piece of shit,” he grumbled.

“Ah, who is using such colorful language in my classroom? And so early in the morning, too?” The chatter in the room suddenly quieted down when our professor finally said his first couple of words since he entered the classroom however long ago.

Vic raised his head, smirking in the direction of the front of the room. His cool demeanor never faltered even though he seemed to have just woken up from a nap. Without hesitation he waved his hand in the air, showing off and quickly bringing it back down to the table.

“Oh, Mr. Fuentes,” The man said with a shake of his head. The way he acted signified that he knew Vic, and I guess that made sense. In certain majors you probably have a bunch of repeat teachers. “You’re back again. What brings you here this time?” His arms folded across his chest, one hand toying with whatever paper was between his fingers.

“Thought you couldn’t get enough of my sparkling personality,” Vic chimed in. He was acting so casual and calm, I didn’t understand how one person could ooze so much confidence.

“Small doses, kid. Are you actually going to pass my class this time?” The professor retorted and much like me, everyone in the room sat back, watching as the two participated in whatever banter was going on. It was amusing, I’d give them that and certainly a way to kick of the semester.

Remembering the professor’s choice of words, I looked over at Tony, eyes wide asking if Vic had indeed failed this class before. My answer came in the form of a slow nod as if he were trying not to be suspicious. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I didn’t know Vic long, but he seemed so smart. How could someone as intelligent as him fail a class?

“No promises,” Vic said seriously and I didn’t like that.

“Mr. Fuentes, you are aware that you can only retake this class three times and the final grade that you receive is the only one that counts? Even if it is the worst of them all,” his words echoed through the air, leaving Vic with an uncaring expression on his face. So he really did hate this class, it wasn’t just an act.

Sighing, Vic gave in, waving a piece of paper in surrender. “I know, I know,” he placed the paper back on the desk and leaned into me. “That’s why I’ve got my boy, Kellin.” Playfully, his arm made its way across my shoulders, hand dangling just above my chest. For whatever reason, I felt myself blushing, the heat in my cheeks giving me away instantly. “He’s a screenwriter, you know? Perfect for this class. With him in my life, I’ll do swimmingly.”

“Kellin, huh?” He looked down at the roster, probably searching for my name. “Is Mr. Quinn a friend of yours?”

“Absolutely,” said Vic, his arm tightening its grip around my neck, pulling me in even closer to him. This was all an act to him, I knew that, but I couldn’t help but actually think that maybe in those few seconds of pretending, Vic wasn’t totally annoyed by my existence. It was nice.

The professor, whose name I still have yet to figure out, simply rolled his eyes and turned back to the work he was doing before Vic called Tony a piece of shit. Thinking about what just happened, I approached Vic with caution. “We’re friends?” I whispered once I was certain he and the professor were done exchanging words.

Vic let out a breathy laugh and shook his head, looking at me with such disbelief. “Fuck off, Kellin.” He grunted and went back to not paying attention to me. I guess that settles it. We’re acquaintances, classmates, but not friends.

“We’re going to skip the boring parts and get down to business. You’re all adults, I trust you can use your brain to read a syllabus,” the professor had now written his name on the board, messily, might I add as he spoke to us. His name was Mat Golden and I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought that people would call him Mr. Golden. It sounded ridiculous, but who was I to judge? “The main thing I want you to focus on this semester, for this class, is the project, or as I like to call it, your creations.”

At that, everyone’s hand seemed to shoot up in the air in question. Mat must have expected it because he laughed at everyone, motioning for them to lower their hands. “They’re projects due at the end of the term. You’ll be put into partners, assigned by me because even though you’re all adults here I cannot trust you at all.”

“In these groups of two you will create your own story, film it and please make sure it has a distinct genre, and at the end when you’re all finished, they will be presented to your peers for them to judge you as harshly as they please,” he teased. It didn’t take a long time to figure out this guy wasn’t serious at all and my anxiety began to lessen as I started to feel more comfortable with all of this.

“Mr. Fuentes has done this before, so if you have any questions, ask him.” The two once again had a stare down, Vic of course losing since even though he was quite a hardass, he was still just a student, nothing special.

“I want to get your partner assignments out of the way because I really don’t want to deal with them later on, so when I call your name pay attention. And no, once you are assigned a partner, you cannot get a new one. End of discussion.” His words seemed to be directed at Vic as he glanced back in our direction again. I didn’t know what happened here, but I was determined to figure it out. I really had a problem when it came to knowing the secrets of everyone’s life, but I couldn’t help it. Curiosity often got the best of me, or in cases like this, my need to be close to someone outweighed everything.

He read off the names and I listened closely, relief flooding through me upon hearing I was paired with Tony. Vic on the other hand only grimaced, being partnered with some kid named Alan. Apparently Vic found him to be a nuisance, but then again, I got the feeling he saw everyone that way.

It didn’t matter to me. The only thing that was running through my mind was the fact that I actually did it. I was able to get through my first class at a new college without having a mental breakdown. I was proud and I liked that feeling.