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More Like a Movie

writers.

The first movie I fell in love with was Aladdin. Released in 1992, I was just a boy when I first saw it and truth be told, it was the only film to capture my attention at the time; the first one to really stick. I didn’t know what it was about it then, the fantastic colors or the memorable songs, but it was like I was seeing the world for the first time. Everything became clearer and the day I watched that movie was the day a switch went off in my very young mind. At the time I had no idea what it meant, but shortly after, my obsession with cinema started to blossom.

As I grew older and went back to Aladdin time and time again, I realized it wasn’t just the look and sound that reduced me to metaphorical tears, but rather it was the entire production and kick ass story line.

Honestly, the signs of my sexuality were right there in front of me. Every other boy my age was interested in dirt and playing with bugs or some shit like that. I preferred to stay indoors in a fort made of pillows and blankets with an endless list of Disney movies by my side. I was moved by them. I was touched and one day during one of my many Walt marathons, I knew I wanted to create this exact feeling for someone else. I wanted to make them erupt with emotion and tears like The Fox and The Hound did for me. I wanted people to fall in love with love the way I did when the lady and the tramp shared that bowl of pasta. I wanted that moment that tugs on the heart strings and warms your soul like it did for me when the Beast let Belle go. These were all important moments for me; moments that have helped create who I am.

And I just wanted to do the same for somebody else.

That all happened when I was just a kid though. Little dreams I never really thought much of, but liked how the idea sounded. As I got a little older and saw films like Titanic and Forrest Gump, they immediately became classics in my eyes and I got a new perspective and a new desire to create other stories, ones that would touch you, awaken something within you that you never knew existed; ones that would make anyone, even the coldest of hearts, fall in love. I wanted stories that would get people hooked and keep them invested, no matter the heartbreak, trauma, love, or what have you.

I wanted to write the world and everything in it. That’s why it was so easy for me to decide what I wanted to do with my life. My obsession didn’t fizzle out as I grew older, in fact, it got stronger and I was proud of myself for making my childhood dreams come true. I don’t know how many people can say that.

I was lucky that way because I always knew I wanted to be a writer. I had the talent, I had the support of my parents, and nothing could stop me or stand in my way. My power and drive were the only things I had going for me and I would do anything to make my wants happen.

If I could explain this all to Vic, maybe he’d understand why this is so important to me, why it’s so special. I knew the second I opened my mouth, however, he’d do or say something to shut me right up so I didn’t bother. Instead I let him go on in his bitter act, keeping quietly to myself.

To my surprise, we were somewhere other than that stuffy diner, instead we were walking around downtown just a couple of blocks away from the school. Since being here, I haven’t ventured this far because I always afraid of getting lost by myself, but with the guys I had no objections. It was nice to get away from the stress for a little while, though being in the city wasn’t exactly stress free.

“Hey, guys?” Tony’s voice pierced the silence that had encompassed us on our brief walk. We all kind of stopped at the same time, me and Vic standing pretty close on the small sidewalk as Jaime scooted way from us closer to Tony’s side. They were both grinning, but it wasn’t their usual friendly smiles. Something was hidden in this.

Vic must have picked up on it too because he was fast to slip his phone back into his pocket and cross his arms, interest heightened in our friend’s behavior. “What is it?” He finally said.

Jaime and Tony exchanged knowing glances, taking a small step back, away from us. “Tony and I actually have tickets to that movie showing tonight. You know that one that was sold out?”

Beside me Vic snorted in disbelief, rolling his eyes only to come to the conclusion that his friends weren’t making a joke. They really had tickets and didn’t invite us.

“How the fuck did you get those?” Vic snapped, snatching the now present tickets out of Tony’s tattooed hands. Examining them, his mouth dropped open slightly in probably both shock and admiration. It would seem like a silly little thing to anyone else, really, but to guys like us, the opportunity to see a special showing of a movie yet to premiere in theaters was like winning the lottery.

“Mike knows someone,” Tony shrugged, carefully pulling the tickets out of Vic’s tight grasp. Without ripping them, he safely managed to get them back in his hold, opening his wallet and stuffing them inside. Vic nearly choked at the words, eyes blinking furiously.

“Mike? Michael Fuentes? My own brother, my flesh and blood scored these tickets and offered them to the two of you and not us?” I was a little taken aback by the fact that when Vic said us he meant both me and him. It had become that way over the past few weeks though. We rarely saw Mike since he was always at the business school and when it was just us four, Tony and Jaime were always partnered off and it just left Vic and me to each other. I wasn’t complaining though.

Tony laughed, picking up his feet and making the walk towards where I assumed the theater was. This was why the two of them suggested us taking a walk downtown. They were just going to ditch us, which was probably their plan all along. As we continued to walk, Vic was still murmuring on and on about how Mike betrayed him while Tony made little comments about how the younger Fuentes didn’t love Vic enough. It was amusing and it passed the time, maybe a little too quickly.

Before we knew it, we were standing in front of the most grandiose theater. Red carpets rolled up the stairs, limousines parked out front while ushers stood by the door, checking tickets and lifting the velvet ropes to let them pass through. Looking around, one would think this was a real Hollywood premiere and not some special showing in the middle of downtown Boston.

The duo stopped before us, two sets of eyes looking us over as if they were searching for something suspicious. It was Jaime who spoke first, breaking the awkward stare down and silence that came with it.

“Are you two going to be okay by yourselves?” He bit his lip in contemplation. “You’re not going to murder him, are you Vic? When we come back tonight Kellin’s head won’t be in Tony’s mini fridge?”

I laughed at the remark, but didn’t disregard it. There was very well a slim chance Vic would strangle me or something without anyone else around to keep him civil.

“We’ll be fine,” I reassured them anyway, placing my hand on Vic’s shoulder. “Right?”

“Whatever,” he mumbled and pulled away from my hold, waving the boys off and turning to leave the premises without me. As politely as I could, I said my goodbyes to them and told them to have fun before scampering off after Vic. It would start getting dark soon and I didn’t want to end up alone with no idea where I was going.

Eventually I caught up to Vic, finding him along on a bridge that crossed over an intersection. It felt kind of dangerous being up here, but we weren’t the only ones and we were off to the side blocked off from traffic so I knew we were safe. Vic didn’t seem like the kind to try and cheat death anyway.

He sat down first, slipping his thin legs through the structure openings and letting his feet dangle off the edge. I watched as he propped his arms up on one of the bars provided and rested his chin across his folded limbs. Sighing he looked out in front of him and quietly spoke. “You can sit down Kellin. I’m not going to push you to your death.”

I heard a soft laugh follow his statement and that was what did it for me. One little laugh and I was following his instructions, sitting as close to him as I possibly could without crossing some sort of unspoken line. Unlike him, I chose to place my legs underneath me, getting tingles throughout my body just looking at the way he was so carelessly sprawled out. I placed my palms flat on the cement behind me, and leaned my body backwards, taking in the scenery around me.

It wasn’t nighttime yet, but it was that moment before where the sky gets darker with each blink of the eye, when the city is just starting to wake up and come back to life. I liked moments like this. It was like witnessing the birth of something new. Each night held a new adventure and though the thought was exciting, it made my stomach hurt. Why wasn’t I experiencing any of this?

I didn’t have too much time to dwell on the fact that I pretty much haven’t touched on any of the things I wanted to achieve while out here because Vic was quick to talk, interrupting any stillness that may have hung on us.

“So, Kellin,” he breathed and shifted a bit so he was sitting closer. I felt my body start to heat up, my insides prickling with a feeling only Vic seemed to bring out of me. I knew I was developing a sort of crush on him, but it’s only gotten worse as time went on. I perked my head up to let him know he had my attention and he carried on talking. “Your job is to make up stories, correct? You’re a writer and that’s what writers do?”

“I guess so,” I answered, thinking very little about his question. I was just focusing on the fact that he was interested in my career choice. “It’s all fiction. Why?”

I didn’t bother taking my eyes off the space in front of me, watching as cars whizzed by underneath us. I thought about where they were going, or where they were coming from; if they were alone or with someone else; what plans they had that night. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vic shrug.

“How do you come up with your ideas? How do you enter that land of make believe?” He asked me, sounding almost bitter.

“How do you?” I countered, eager to point out the fact that I wasn’t the only one with a creative bone in my body. Vic wanted to be a director. He had to come up with stories and images, too.

He bit his lip and nodded, seeming satisfied with my response. “I just don’t understand you, sometimes. You know that life isn’t really like what you see on the big screen, right? It’s full of disappointment.”

“Way to be optimistic, Victor,” I joked, lightly shoving him with my elbow. “I’m only kidding, but it doesn’t hurt to have hope, right? If I don’t believe in this kind of stuff – if I don’t look at the world like it’s the most beautiful thing then what the fuck I’m living for?”

I finally tore my gaze from the road, turning my head to find him already staring at me. We sat there for what seemed like forever just staring at each other, not saying anything and just barely breathing. The sounds of busy streets and moving cars filled my ears but at that moment all I could focus on was the way Vic was looking at me like I was some peculiar thing he had just come across in the woods.

“I never really liked writers much,” he finally said, diminishing any thrilling feelings that were stirring up inside of me. It should have brought me down, his comment, but I let my optimism take control, something I vowed to do more of when I moved out here.

“Maybe I can change your mind,” I sighed with a smile, standing up on wobbly legs since my foot had made the decision to fall asleep. I leant against the railing, eyes on Vic as he continued to sit there.

“You’re not going to stop trying until you do, are you?” He asked.

“Nope,” I replied. He laughed and swung his legs back up onto the concrete, holding his knees to his chest and letting his chin rest atop. I wonder if he knows just how breathtaking he really is. The lights from the bridge were starting to come on, shining down on both of us, but they made him look so much better. “Vic, you know you’re going to have to work with guys like me when you graduate and become some big shot director.”

“Don’t remind me,” he mumbled, looking anywhere but directly at me.

I wanted to do a little experiment, something I had been thinking of for a while now but hadn’t gotten the chance to do. Now seemed like the perfect time. “What was the very first movie you fell in love with?” I asked him.

Clearly taking him by surprise, his eyes finally met mine, confusion written across his face. He pursed his lip in a way that let me know he was actually thinking about it before he opened his mouth and said, “Life Is Beautiful.”

I smiled at him and began talking again. “Life Is Beautiful,” I repeated. “Directed by Roberto Benigni, written by Roberto Benigni and Vincenzo Cerami. A story of romance, humor, and heartbreak. Winner of three academy awards. Good choice. I’m impressed, Fuentes.”

He looked at me in shock, biting the inside of his lip to stop himself from smiling at the fact that I knew exactly what he was talking about. My guess was that he didn’t expect me to be so familiar with it, but it was actually one of my favorites too.

“What made you fall in love with it?” I practically demanded.

Calmness fell upon us again as he thought of his answer. When he did, the words just seemed to flow from his lips. “What’s not to love? The setting, the casting, the story-” he stopped and grinned, shaking his head. “Okay, I see your point.”

I smiled in triumph, happy to be getting through to him. “Now what about the story line do you love?”

“It’s incredible,” he said, “the way Guido’s character is written, how he’d do anything to save his son. The romance isn’t terrible, even though I’m not the biggest fan of love stories; this one completely takes my breath away. In something as serious as dealing with a Nazi death camp, there’s humor present and it is good humor, too. Not that forced shit you see nowadays. It’s tragic and a masterpiece.”

“That,” I said breathlessly.

Vic gave me a puzzled expression. “What?”

“The look on your face, the passion in your voice…that’s what I want.” The way Vic was speaking when he mentioned the characters and his favorite parts of the movie were the exact reactions I wanted to create with films.

Vic looked at me like he wanted to say something, but shook it off and turned his attention back to the road.

“What?” I encouraged him, but he just shrugged.

“I’m not sure I could explain it even if I wanted to.” He finally said. Even though he wasn’t paying attention to me I still kept my gaze on him. Vic was honest. He had his opinions and I had mine. He wanted to expose me to the real world and I wanted to show him my point of view. Getting lost in my inner ramblings, I didn’t realize Vic was now standing, ready to leave.

Without saying anything, we began making our way down the bridge, keeping in step with each other the entire time. Tonight was a bit of a success for me. I felt like I opened up to Vic a tiny bit and he did the same for me. He had the opportunity to leave me by myself and he didn’t. I was thankful.

“Hey, Vic?” he stopped walking and turned to face me, hands in his pockets.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for not ditching me today,” I said.

He froze for a minute before responding. “Hey, Kellin?” he asked much like I had. I braced myself for a negative comment, something I had grown accustomed to with him.

“Yeah?” my voice was quiet.

“You’re welcome,” he gave me a small smile which of course I returned. I felt like those few moments with him on the bridge, I saw a different version of him; a version that wasn’t quick to dismiss me and I liked that. I really hope he stays.
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I'm super tired and actually v surprised I updated bc I can't stop playing flappy bird ok. idk man once again I was like half asleep when I wrote most of this so yeah. I love you all and thanks for commenting and recommending so far. it rly makes me smile and stuff so yeah.