Dear Destiny, You Suck

"Ugh." I groaned and tried to push him away. "You sound just like my mother, with all her destiny crap. I'm going to do what I want, and no outside pre-planned load of garbage is going to dictate my life."

He only smiled and placed his lips on the top of my head. "Don't let anything take away your fighting spirit." He murmured. I was confused for a minute but decided to allow myself to melt into his embrace. Not just because of the giant crush on him I've been nursing but because he is like a space heater. It's great, one of the reasons I want to be with him is so I can sit in his awesome room with him and cuddle with him, all the while stealing his body heat.

I heard gravel crunching signaling a car headed up the drive way and I tried to jump away from Robyn, but again he held me stationary.

"It's generally a sign of guilt when two people jump apart." He murmured. "You were cold and shivering and I felt bad for you so I hugged you to keep you warm with the obnoxious amount of heat I give off, and you were too stubborn and angry at Iris to make the hike to my car. Okay?"

"That sounds like me." I said breathlessly. I heard feet stomping up the driveway toward us and leaned to peer over Robyn's shoulder.

"It's about damn time." I shouted at Iris. "What kind of best friend abandons me in the cold with some strange boy to get McDonalds!?" Iris's eyes darted between Robyn and I, trying to piece together what happened.

"She was mad at you for leaving us, as you can see and decided to protest by standing in the cold and not going back to my warm car. As if you would feel her freezing to death and hurry home faster." He teased and rolled his eyes. "And I felt bad for her, standing on a sidewalk shivering and shaking worse than right before she played her solo. So I decided to warm her with my space heaterness." He was very convincing; even I believed that was what happened.

"Oh I'm sorry baby!" She pulled me away from Robyn and into a hug. She wasn't as warm as he was, I didn't enjoy her hug as much. "I'll never abandon you again, come on let's go inside and make hot cocoa and eat these nugs and watch Mean Girls and Mortal Instruments." I nodded into her shoulder and inside we went. Nina, Hannah, and Robyn followed behind us.

"Would you hug me for warmth." Nina asked with her arms outstretched.

"Not a chance, slut. I don't want herpes." He joked.

"But... but... You gave me these herpes." She broke down into fake tears, and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey you were the one who proposed the sex camp out." He shrugged, and a louder laugh escaped my lips.

"That whore is eavesdropping on us." Nina fake whispered, she purposely made it loud enough to hear.

"I know, I heard she's a lesbian." He whispered back.

"Did you see her nudes? I heard the caused everyone to go blind."

"Pfft, they're calling those nudes? All her body hair covered anything important."

"Oooh that's why they call her sasquatch slut." Nina sounded as if she had just discovered the key to life itself.

"Where do you guys come up with that stuff?" I asked and wiped away the tears that had formed in my eyes. We fell into a comfortable silence and followed Iris into her basement the love seat as all the seats on the other couch were taken. And they were kind of stacked on top of each other giggling and wrestling over the seats. Robyn had taken the seat where my feet had been sitting, so I put them on his lap instead of moving and sitting respectably.

I felt like an outsider during the entirety of the movie night, which is unusual. I have reason to believe that I was worried about dying, and what Robyn was hiding from me. Therefore, I brought this feeling of being on the outside on myself. But still, this is my life that we're talking out... Like I own it and I decide what I want to do with it... Right? So... What does Robyn know about it? What does he mean by destiny? And how does mine suck? I refuse to believe don't get a choice in what happens! I want to screw up and learn from my mistakes on my own. I don't want some pre-programmed life. What even is my destiny and why does Robyn get to know it while I'm left in the dark? It is mine after all...

That's when I noticed Robyn staring at me... Or I guess I noticed him noticing me staring at him. He gave me this look like he understood my confusion. He leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"When they inevitably fall asleep there's something I need to tell you." I nodded and looked over to Nina, Hannah, and Iris. They were already borderline unconscious. I watched them instead of the movie, waiting for them to drift off. When they finally did I looked at Robyn expectantly.

"So, I'm not actually supposed to tell you your destiny... You're supposed to figure it out on your own or whatever. But I can tell you about mine." He started.

"Why would you tell me yours? Is it really that important to mine?" I question.

"Well... It actually is, our destinies are intertwined." He had this sad look on his face. "I'm... Supposed to die protecting you. My one job is to protect you and keep you safe and be this great friend to you but at some point, who knows when, I'm supposed to perish in your place and save you."

"But why am I important?" I muttered.

"I can't say." He paused for a brief moment. "But don't think that just because my destiny says I'm supposed to protect you is the only reason we're friends. I really like you, Olive... Even if real olives are nasty. I do like you for you, and this whole protecting you thing is just a perk."

"I thought you were acting all weird and protective, and now there is a reason...But for the record I still don't believe in this destiny crap." I muttered.

"I know." He patted my knee. "But someday you will."

"Not if it means you have to die." I said stubbornly. "I don't take kindly to my friends dying."

"I'll try my hardest, but I don't take too kindly to my friends dying if I have a chance to save them." He stared in my eyes and it felt like we sat there for an eternity.

"Did we just... Have a moment?" I asked.

"I do believe that was just a moment." He chuckled and smiled.

"Well that was weird and if we could refrain from having 'moments' and confusing my feelings, that would be fantastic."

"Confusing your feelings?" He asked with a chuckled.

"Yes," I said sternly. "You don't have a gender, remember? Your gender is Robyn Wilde and when you do the weird 'I have to protect you' thing and do the weird cliche movie thing were I stare into your soul it get's confusing." He laughed even harder at my pro impression of his voice... By pro I mean I sounded like a dying seal.

"Oh my God!" Iris screeched, I thought she heard our conversation and my stomach tied itself into one giant knot. "I missed my favorite part." She wined, a sigh of relief slipped from my lips.

"What part is that?" I questioned, we had already finished Mean Girls and were on to Mortal Instruments.

"When they're in that weird jungle room!" She stopped and hugged herself.

"Wow, way to be descriptive. Four for you Glen Coco." Robyn said sarcastically, I looked at him like he was stupid.

"Oh come on." I rolled my eyes, and explained further. "Where they have this moment and he gives her a gift and they almost kiss-"

"But they don't because the sprinklers turn on." Iris interrupted me, so I returned the favor.

"And then you think they aren't going to but once they get to the bottom of the stairs he pulls her into this super cute kiss." I said it super fast, as not to be interrupted.

"And it's all like awe!" Iris swooned, Robyn scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You girls and your out of control emotions."

"Says the male who live tweeted about all his tears at the end of The Fault in our Stars." I rolled my eyes as he had and punched him in the shoulders.

"Hey, that was a sad book and you know it. If you didn't cry you don't have a heart." He said defensively and crossed his arms over his chest. I liked it this way, the way it has always been. I do not enjoy him being all self sacrificing and whatnot.

"Hey... It's like two in the morning..." Iris trailed off. "Why is everyone still in my home. Leave so I can sleep." She whined and shoved Nina and Hannah off the couch.

"Ow." The groaned in unison.

"Why would you push me off the couch you slut?" Nina screamed.

"Because you are still in my house at two in the morning! You could be robbers or something! I didn't know!" Iris answered in the same tone.

"You suck." Nina screamed again and tackled Iris. "You know I'm not a criminal and you know I don't like to be awakened from my slumber!" She some how managed to get through the laughter.

"She is kinda like a hibernating bear..." Hannah started.

"And you did poke her with a metaphorical stick." I continued. Their giggles died down and the two rabid animals panted for a few moments before anymore words were uttered.

"No but really, leave." Iris said with a straight face.

"You don't have to ask me twice." I said and started gathering all my things. The other three followed suit. Iris then lead us to the door and bid us farewell. I crawled into Robyn's car and waited for him to take me home. He sat still for a minute, and my heart started racing.

"Don't tell me that stupid cashier lady who wants my head is in the car." I lazily looked in his direction and found him staring at me.

"No, she's not." He chuckled. "I just... I'm worried about you, she really wants you dead."

"Well, don't be." I said seriously."I like it better when we're just goofing around and being friends. It doesn't feel right when you act this way. You are happy go lucky Robyn, not depressed guardian who only has one thing to live for."

"So you want me to act like my usual dorky self?" He asked and I nodded. "I can do that."

"Good." I yawned and slowly allowed myself drift off in his passenger seat. It was perfect because it was his car, and it smelled like Jesus, and was warm. The only way it could be better was if there was food. Well, maybe not because it would be hard to eat while sleeping...

A sudden jostling woke me, but I didn't open my eyes. After a few seconds I had deduced that Robyn was, in fact, carrying me into my home like I was a child. I didn't dare act as if I was conscious because if I did he might put me down and I'd have to actually walk. Ugh, no thanks on the physical exertion, I'll take being carried any day.

He tapped his food on the door a few times and my mother opened the door.

"Is she asleep?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, she passed out almost immediately after getting in my car." He whispered back.

"How is she taking it?" I had to stifle a gasp; they were working together behind my back! Or he was a decent friend, and I dunno, informed my mom that her only child in this world was almost killed twice in one day?

"She's actually doing quite well." He complimented me, that's sweet. Ooh what if he like told my mom that he loved me and then I would know but he wouldn't know I did and I could flirt and not be worried about him not liking me... Because I would already know he does. I'm obnoxiously obsessed with this boy and it's not okay.

"She didn't have a meltdown or anything?" Worry colored my mom's tone.

"It's like you hardly know your own daughter." He scoffed, I applauded him in my mind. "She's a strong girl. I can see she's angry that I know something about her life that she doesn't, but she won't voice her frustration. She'll just keep acting like everything is normal, which is actually quite comforting... Oh, and she still doesn't believe in her destiny... or the concept of destiny at all."

"I suspected as much... I've tried to tell her so much, but she just blows me off. She's too much of a fighter to believe that she has no choice in things." She muttered sadly. That's because it isn't true. I'm going to do what I want. Rage started to build in my chest over the fact that I might not get a choice in how my life pans out so I decided that I needed to leave.

I yawned and snuggled into Robyn's chest, hoping he had enough sense to see that I was awake and didn't want to hear anymore. Luckily he did.

"I'm going to take her to bed." He said.

"Okay... Are you going to stay the night tonight?" My mom asked, the worry had returned to her voice. "The roads are getting bad from the sleet and... I would rather my daughter wasn't killed in the night."

"Only if she wants me to." He said and I felt him start moving. He set me down on my bed lightly. "You don't have to pretend you're sleeping anymore." I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Thank God!" I yawned. "By the way if you want to have a sleep over, go for it. But I get the bed and you can sleep anywhere. Except on me, I am not a mattress."

He chuckled. "Aw man, that's my favorite place! I guess I'll sleep on the futon." He feigned depression, and I giggled.

"I mean you could sleep on the bed too because my heated blanket is broken but my mom would probs see and the would toats be awkward." I muttered.

"I could protect you better from beside you." He smirked and teased.

"Nu-uh, you would be on the opposite side, this bed his like a queen and huge and there's enough room for to sleep and not touch me. But I'll still be warmed by your intense body heat." He laughed and crawled in my bed. Butterflies erupted in my stomach at the thought that my crush was in my bed and we might wake up and he might be holding me like in every chick flick and that would be super adorable.

I fell asleep content, nothing could ruin this moment... But this new and now constant itch on my forehead might taint my happiness...