Why Won't You Love Me?
I Want You
“What do you care that I tempt death? You don’t love me, remember?” Peter sat leaning against the wall detached from his own words, his eyes were gone and ever so sad to look at.
“Pet-“
“Don’t. alright? Just save it. You’re quick to jump at the chance to rescue the damsel in distress but I will not play your damsel, Killian. Go home to your pretty little Emma and leave me alone.”
Still when Killian walked toward him, Peter made no move to get away. As he knelt down He saw that the boy looked even more worn and tired up close like fire all spent to ash. Peter faced him quick to anger his vulnerability away- hell if he’d give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him weak. “I told you to leave.” He hissed. Killian had grown used to Peter’s moods and so ignored the outburst all together.
“Let me take you home.”
Peter laughed all distorted and dark- “Home? To my empty, torn down apartment? Yea, that’s exactly what I need.” Killian didn’t know what to say and it was hard to say anything when Peter was so intent on not looking at him or acknowledging him. He raised a hand slight of shaking to force the boy’s eyes to meet his but Peter shrugged away and swatted at his hand.
“What do you want, hmm?” Peter looked at him the fire in his eyes white hot and then he was smiling, anger seemingly forgotten- all charm. “Do you want me? Want me to take it lying down?” He pushed off the wall and leaned toward the older man. Killian frowned hating the games Peter enjoyed playing. He laughed again and was just as quickly back to being bitter. This Peter was so broken, every word on the edge of hysterical.
“I despise you, Killian. Wish I never met you.” He whispered almost to himself and even so it slapped Killian- made him ache. He never meant to hurt the boy. Never meant for him to fall in love if this was, in fact, love. He found himself offering to take him home again and regretted it when Peter glared.
“I want you to fuck me.” He said it as defiantly as a child would scream “no” when told to go to bed. Killian’s eyes widened, admittedly unable to control how his cock twitched at the words, but knew that’s exactly the response Peter wanted and composed himself.
“I want you to make me scream and-“
There were tears beginning to pool in his eyes and his face was contorted into anger “and I. Want. You. –“
Just as his face began to relax into defeat, the tears began to stream down his cheeks “I want you.” He whispered hands finding Killian’s face, and pained eyes searching for the hope of something more than worry or pity. Searching for something Killian might have wanted to give if not for the age difference, and Emma.
He steadied the boy’s hand and pulled him into a hug that he struggled against. “NO! I don’t want a hug!” He pushed on Killian’s shoulders fighting against his hold.
“Let go!” As soon as Killian gave the boy what he wanted, his lips were attacked by Peter’s and instead of pushing him away- oh how he wishes he could push him away- he can’t.
Peter is shaking in his arms- all salt against his lips, all desperation and sweet and he was still crying and maybe it was the tears and how broken, how pretty but broken, he was that stopped him. Killian grabbed hold of the boy’s wrists and with all the self-control he could muster peeled Peter off him. “I can’t, Peter.”
“Why not? You did before. You had no trouble kissing me in that hotel. You wanted me then.” –I want you now, he decidedly didn’t say that. “I’m sorry.” Killian said and Peter’s face morphed into an undoubting smile and even though there are tears swimming in his eyes and drying on his cheeks there was no weakness to be found.
“You apologize?” He asked eyebrow raised questioning the very existence of him. “Well I guess that makes everything all better!” He stood up and looked down on Killian in disgust. If not for all the “I want you”’s of the evening, Killian might actually have believed Peter Pan hated him. The boy wiped away at his eyes and began to walk off.
“Goodbye Killian. I hope to never see you again.”
“Pet-“
“Don’t. alright? Just save it. You’re quick to jump at the chance to rescue the damsel in distress but I will not play your damsel, Killian. Go home to your pretty little Emma and leave me alone.”
Still when Killian walked toward him, Peter made no move to get away. As he knelt down He saw that the boy looked even more worn and tired up close like fire all spent to ash. Peter faced him quick to anger his vulnerability away- hell if he’d give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him weak. “I told you to leave.” He hissed. Killian had grown used to Peter’s moods and so ignored the outburst all together.
“Let me take you home.”
Peter laughed all distorted and dark- “Home? To my empty, torn down apartment? Yea, that’s exactly what I need.” Killian didn’t know what to say and it was hard to say anything when Peter was so intent on not looking at him or acknowledging him. He raised a hand slight of shaking to force the boy’s eyes to meet his but Peter shrugged away and swatted at his hand.
“What do you want, hmm?” Peter looked at him the fire in his eyes white hot and then he was smiling, anger seemingly forgotten- all charm. “Do you want me? Want me to take it lying down?” He pushed off the wall and leaned toward the older man. Killian frowned hating the games Peter enjoyed playing. He laughed again and was just as quickly back to being bitter. This Peter was so broken, every word on the edge of hysterical.
“I despise you, Killian. Wish I never met you.” He whispered almost to himself and even so it slapped Killian- made him ache. He never meant to hurt the boy. Never meant for him to fall in love if this was, in fact, love. He found himself offering to take him home again and regretted it when Peter glared.
“I want you to fuck me.” He said it as defiantly as a child would scream “no” when told to go to bed. Killian’s eyes widened, admittedly unable to control how his cock twitched at the words, but knew that’s exactly the response Peter wanted and composed himself.
“I want you to make me scream and-“
There were tears beginning to pool in his eyes and his face was contorted into anger “and I. Want. You. –“
Just as his face began to relax into defeat, the tears began to stream down his cheeks “I want you.” He whispered hands finding Killian’s face, and pained eyes searching for the hope of something more than worry or pity. Searching for something Killian might have wanted to give if not for the age difference, and Emma.
He steadied the boy’s hand and pulled him into a hug that he struggled against. “NO! I don’t want a hug!” He pushed on Killian’s shoulders fighting against his hold.
“Let go!” As soon as Killian gave the boy what he wanted, his lips were attacked by Peter’s and instead of pushing him away- oh how he wishes he could push him away- he can’t.
Peter is shaking in his arms- all salt against his lips, all desperation and sweet and he was still crying and maybe it was the tears and how broken, how pretty but broken, he was that stopped him. Killian grabbed hold of the boy’s wrists and with all the self-control he could muster peeled Peter off him. “I can’t, Peter.”
“Why not? You did before. You had no trouble kissing me in that hotel. You wanted me then.” –I want you now, he decidedly didn’t say that. “I’m sorry.” Killian said and Peter’s face morphed into an undoubting smile and even though there are tears swimming in his eyes and drying on his cheeks there was no weakness to be found.
“You apologize?” He asked eyebrow raised questioning the very existence of him. “Well I guess that makes everything all better!” He stood up and looked down on Killian in disgust. If not for all the “I want you”’s of the evening, Killian might actually have believed Peter Pan hated him. The boy wiped away at his eyes and began to walk off.
“Goodbye Killian. I hope to never see you again.”