Bah-hum-bug!

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, la la la la!” Oh, no. You have to be fucking kidding me. It’s only December 13th, for fucks sake. “Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la!” A group of irritating carolers was following me in public, serenading with this stupid fucking song.

“Shut up!” I turned and threw my hands in the air. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

The surrounding shoppers turned and looked like me, shocked. A little girl started crying, probably never having a weird stranger yell at her. The singers were looking at me like I was a monster.

But I don’t fucking care, so I just continued on walking, spotting Vic’s car in the parking lot. He was leaning on it, his scarf about to fall off, his eyes glued to his phone. I did a weird half-jog the rest of the way, just wanting to get next to my boyfriend – the only thing good around the holiday season.

“Hey,” Vic said, putting his phone in his pocket and kissing my cheek.

“Vic, why do carolers think it’s okay to follow people around? That’s like… that’s like fucking, harassment, or something.”

He chuckled, getting in the driver’s seat, and I slipped myself in the seat next to him. “You need to lighten up. I mean, it’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year; I don’t see why you hate it.”

I frowned. “It’s a long story, you know that.”

“I know that you don’t like it, I wish you’d just tell me why.”

“I will, soon, okay?”

We stopped at a red light and he reached over and rubbed my hand, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Now, what do you want for Christmas?” he winked and I rolled my eyes.

“I told you, nothing. Don’t get me anything at all. Or I’ll shove it down your throat.”

“Oh, hush. You’ll love whatever I get you, and you will not shove it down my throat,” the light went green and he started driving again. “Maybe I’ll just get you coal, you Grinch.”

“Good, that’s exactly what I want. Definitely.”

Vic chuckled, “You’re so weird, Kellin.”

“Bah-hum-bug.”



We were cuddling on his couch on the 15th, Vic kissing the back of my hand before speaking up. “Kellin, I need to tell you something real quick.”

“You’re pregnant,” I joked, rolling on my other side so I was facing him. “What?”

“I was only told yesterday, so I wasn’t hiding it, okay? But my parents bought plane tickets to go visit our relatives for Christmas… in Mexico.”

“Oh… well, I mean, I’m happy you can see your family.”

He hugged me tighter, “I’m sorry; I know I promised we’d spend time together on Christmas. I wish I could take you with us.”

“I wish I could go,” I murmured. “When are you leaving?”

He bit his lip, “In two days. I’ll call you every day, I promise.”

“I’ll answer.”



Vic’s mom, dad, and brother were giving him and I sympathetic smiles as we hugged each other in the airport. It was the 17th and Vic was going to be gone until the 30th – thirteen whole days. I don’t know how I can go without him, but I just have to. I’ll probably just sleep and eat and watch TV a lot… that doesn’t sound fun compared to what I was planning. Fuck, I hate this.

“Kellin, you got to let go now. The plane is about to board.”

I squeezed him again, trying to suppress my tears while I spoke, “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too. I love you so much, I’m sorry you can’t come.”

“S’okay, I love you.”

We squeezed each other again before he pried himself off me and walked over to his family. They all gave me smiles and wave and I returned the gesture, keeping my eyes on them as they started stepping onto the plane, one by one. Vic gave me one last wave and made a little heart and then he stepped out of my sight. That’s when I let the small tears that I’ve been holding back come out.



It was the 20th and I was stretched out on my friend Justin’s couch, watching reruns of South Park at two in the morning. He was high as shit and eating a bowl of Lucky Charms, spilling milk all over his shirt.

“Dude,” he spoke up, “I think I found the cure to world hunger.”

I raised my eyebrows, “what’s your idea?”

“Okay okay okay, you know how when you make cereal and then milk makes more milk? We have milk for the world, Kellin! I figured it out!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“When the milk rises! It makes more milk!”

“Justin, that is the cereal rising because the milk takes up the empty space. Nothing more is being made.”

“What?! I’ve been think this forever! This is bullshit!”

I giggled, “You’re retarded.”

He balled up a piece of paper beside him and threw it at me. When I threw it back though, it landed in his cereal and it was so funny to him that he spilled the bowl.

“Ew, Justin!”

He started laughing until the bowl fell to the floor and he went down with it, and fell asleep in the milk.

I swear, the kind of friends I have.

The episode of South Park finished up and I picked up my phone, seeing I had a text from Vic. It was from sixteen minutes ago and it read, ’You awake?’ I smiled and clicked the call button, bringing the phone to my ear. After three rings he picked up.

“Hi,” he said, sounding content.

“Hey.”

“What ‘cha up to?”

“At Justin’s house. He just fell asleep in a puddle of milk and Lucky Charms.”

“Any particular reason why he’s sleeping in that?” he chuckled.

“He was high. Vic, I swear, he is the funniest person when he’s high. He gets all these ideas and his logic behind them is fucking hysterical. You need to see it one day.”

“Maybe,” he laughed. “Him and Mike smoking together would be hilarious if he’s as funny as you say.”

“I think I want to see that for Christmas,” I joked.

“Speaking of Christmas, I got you something.”

I groaned, “Viiiiic.”

“No complaining!”

It was quiet for a while and we just listened to each other breathe for a couple minutes before I spoke up. “When I was little, at Christmas time, my parents dropped me off at my grandma’s and never came back,” I bit my lip and hoped he’d get why I was telling him.

“And that’s why you don’t like Christmas?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“I am so sorry, Kellin. Oh god, I don’t even know how you can go on with that. But I’m so glad you opened up and told me.”

“Uh huh. M’sleepy, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, goodnight babe. I love you.”

“I love you too.”



December 25th.

Christmas day.

Oh joy.

The day started with my siblings and I opening our present. I mostly got clothes and a couple video games. My big present was two tickets to Disneyland for Vic and I to celebrate after we graduate. I’ll have to tell him later.

Then we had to eat dinner with random family members that only saw me and my brothers and sister as bastard children, so that went as well as you think.

And now I was lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, seeing my phone buzz in the corner of my eye. I sighed and picked it up, seeing I had another text from Vic.

’Go to the city view hill. Don’t ask, just do it. Xx’

I rolled my eyes and tapped out a fine before going downstairs and telling my grandma I’d be back soon. It took around twenty minutes to get there by car, but when I showed up, no one else was in sight. Vic hadn’t texted me back and I sighed, thinking he was just fucking around with me. Oh well, might as well admire the city lights while up here, right?

From the view up here, I could spot mine and my friends’ houses. My school was in the distance, almost invisible because it wasn’t lit. There were Christmas decorations all over, a selection of them blinking, scattered around the town. I wish I had someone to appreciate this with me.

Then, I felt a hand cover my eyes and a voice go, “Guess who.”

I knew that voice from anywhere.

“Vic!” I yelled jumping up and hugging him. “How’d you get here?”

“Got a ticket to leave early. Surprise, I’m part one of your Christmas present.”

“What’s part two?” I laughed, giving him a kiss.

“You’ll see in a second.”

“Wait! Let me get something from my car,” He nodded and I made the short walk to it, unlocking the passenger door and getting a bag from the glove box. “I had it in there so I could give it to you at the airport, but since you’re here now, this is your gift.”

He smiled and took it from me, peeking in and smiling at what was inside. “Are these photos from our dates?” I nodded, seeing his eyes light up. “I can remember all these…” His fingers ran across the engraved words on the frame. “You’re the closest to heave that I’ll ever be,” he read out loud, pulling me into a hug. “I love it, Kellin. Thank you so much.”

“I’m happy,” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. He put the frame back into the bag and set it on my car’s hood. He pulled away from me and reached into his pocket.

“Okay, the second part of your gift,” he started. “Well, I think you know how much I love and adore you. Kellin, you’re the best person I’ve ever met and the two years you’ve been my boyfriend has been so much fun and hands down amazing,” he fished a small box out of his pocket. “Since we’re not done with high school yet, I thought it’d be kind of weird to get engaged, so I got the next best thing. It’s a promise ring and it’s a promise I will ask you to marry me. What do you say?”

My heart grew three sizes bigger as I choked out a, “yes.”

He smiled and passed me the box. It was a simple silver band, and on the inside are the words, “My love.” I slipped it onto my right ring finger and gave him a kiss.

“I love you,” I whispered. It was the first time I ever told him I loved him first, and I couldn’t mean the words any more than I did right now.

“I love you too. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Vic. You made this the best one ever.”