With Ears to See

Kellin headed back home yesterday.
So here I am, lying on my bed and staring up at the ceiling.

It’s so quiet.
It’s lonely.

It was only a couple of days, but I miss him here.

Kellin is just a friend.

He’s not interested.

I absent-mindedly rubbed the scars on my hip bone.

I should consider myself lucky that he can’t see what I look like, that he can’t see the flaws.

Then Kellin’s words came to mind.

“Everyone has flaws. It’s what makes us human.”

I shut my eyes, and ran a hand through my hair as the doorbell rang.

“I’m coming!”
I walked to the door and looked through the peep-hole.

It was Mei-Xing.

I opened the door and greeted her with a tired smile.

“Are you busy tonight?”
“Not really, why?”

“I wanted to know if you would like to eat dinner with Haneul, Kellin, and I. It’s Friday night, so I cook Chinese dishes and Haneul cooks Korean dishes. We would love for you to join us, Austin.”

I was still a little tired, but I can’t just reject her. It’s such a nice offer.
And knowing me, I probably would just settle for pizza or not eating at all.

“Sure. I’ll come. Do I need to bring anything?”
She shook her head.

“Just bring yourself and your appetite at 6:00! See you later! Don’t be late!”
“I won’t.”

I waved goodbye and closed the door.

I looked at the clock on the wall.

5:01 P.M.

Only about an hour…

I picked myself off the floor and walked into the bathroom, quickly turning on the shower, stripped my clothes off, and stepped inside.

I tried to relax into the water, but my body was tense.

Kellin is going to be there.
I should be happy, right?

I probably made things awkward between us the day before.

I proceeded to get ready, while Kellin was still on my mind.

A button-up plaid shirt. Black skinny jeans. Converse.

I checked the time again.

5:56 P.M.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time–frowning slightly–before I grabbed my keys and left.

x x x

“Alright! Tonight, we have Tang Cu Qiezi, which is sweet and sour eggplant and Bulgogi, which is grilled beef. There’s white rice and Kimchi along with it as well. Dig in everyone!”

I put some rice and Bulgogi on my plate, knowing that the eggplant was for Kellin.
Everyone else fixed their plates and started eating.

“So, Austin. How long have you been here?”
Haneul spoke up.

“F-For about two months, sir.”
“Don’t call me ‘sir’. It makes me feel old.” He smiled.

“Because you are old!” Kellin joked.
“Watch it, Kellin. You’ll be my age one day and then it won’t seem so funny, will it?” Haneul joked back.

“Ai-yah! Both of you. Stop talking and eat your food before it gets cold!” Mei-Xing scolded them.
“Austin, do you like it?”
“Y-Yeah. The food is really amazing.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

We all continued to eat, with small conversations on the side.
Later, Kellin and I decided to wash the dishes.

Like usual, there was an awkward silence between us.
Until I decided to talk.

“You seem really close to Haneul and Mei-Xing.”
“Yeah, they’re kind of like my parents. They always offered me a place to stay and to take care of me whenever I got lost.”

In the other room, Haneul and Mei-Xing were cheering over a soccer game.
There was a small smile on Kellin’s face.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He finished the last bit of dishes and turned the sink off.

“What about your real parents?”

His smile went away.

Fuck.

“I’d…rather not talk about it.”
“I’m sorry, Kellin. I—”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

The smile was back.

“Come on.”
He grabbed a hold of my hand.

“Let’s go watch the game, too. Although I will warn you, Haneul and Mei-Xing will get a little fiery at each other because they cheer for opposite teams. It’s funny and cute though.”

“O-Okay…”

Then I remembered.

“Kellin, wait.”
“Hm?”

“A-About the day before…”
“No need to explain. I’m just glad that I was there for you.”

My cheeks grew hot as a small smile made its way onto my lips.

“Thanks. I really needed it.”

There was another small silence between us until it was interrupted by Haneul yelling in Korean.
Kellin giggled.

“There they go.”
I led him into the living room and we both sat down on the couch.

I watched the game, but I also watched how Mei-Xing and Haneul were cheering and taunting each other in their respective languages.

And just like Kellin said, it was cute.