But You Said You Loved Me

I felt my blankets wrapped around me, encasing me in its warm cocoon. I pulled my feet up closer to my body and pulled my blanket up and over my head. I could hear my phone blaring with its alarm. I groaned and tried to fall back asleep, but I knew it was silly of me now. So I said up in bed, my dark blankets falling from my body—somehow, the central air was turned down last night and I was freezing.

Grunting, I pulled my legs over the side of my bed and breathed in. I could vaguely smell a beautiful scent wafting through my open doors, and could hear clanking. I closed my eyes and smiled, thinking mom was in a good mood today. My mouth began to water and I thought about the food waiting for me downstairs. So I slipped on my slippers and ripped my door open to run down the hall.

When I had finally made it, I was about to make a remark when my eyes met the back of someone else’s head. It was cut, well shaved and clearly belonged to a male. When I took in the back of him, he was wearing army gear. I breathed in and choked out my shock.

“Jake?” I whispered quietly and he turned around, his eyes landing on me. He had a shit-eating grin on his face as he turned from the stove, his arms wide open and ready. A sob left my lips and I ran into his body. I felt silly, childish really—but I haven’t seen my brother in nearly a year and a half.

“Hi, Ellie-Bellie.” He murmured into my hair as I cried into his chest. I smiled at his nick name he had for me since we were in diapers. He squeezed the life out of me, but I didn’t bother to move or to breathe because I was afraid that this was a dream and if I moved I’d wake up. I’ve had plenty of nightmares in which I would never have moments like this and if this were really a dream, I don’t want to stop it from happening.

“Is it really you?” I asked out loud. Jake pulled away from me and grinned.

“Yes, Ellie, it’s really me.”

“For real?” I asked, a grin beginning to form on my lips. Jake laughed some more and nodded his head. “I’ve missed you so much!” I exclaimed, my eyes beginning to sting. I hugged him once more before letting go of him all together. He turned back around to attend to the almost burnt eggs. “I didn’t know that you…I thought that it wasn’t for another month.” I sat against the counter as I watched him put the eggs on three sets of plates. I took him in—all 6’5” of him and felt my whole body, my heart pick up with joy.

“They let my leave early,” He shrugged, “So, instead of having mum come and get me, I decided to…” His voice trailed off as he looked up. I turned to my left to see my mother standing there—she had let out a startled shout just moments before. Her hand was covering her mouth and her eyes were beginning to leak water.

“Jacob!” She sobbed out. Jake, being such a momma’s boy, dropped everything and took a few strides over towards our mother. When he had her frame into his arms, my mother started to cry. A few seconds later, mom peaked over his left side and zeroed in on me. “Eleanor, don’t just stand there—get your ass over here!” I walked into both of their arms and joined in on the family reunion. When mom was okay, she pulled away and I did the same. She wiped at her eyes before looking up at her eldest with such wonder and endless love. “How did you get home?” She asked.

“I took a cab home and decided to make you guys a proper breakfast.” He laughed to himself. “I mean, I make some mean pancakes and eggs.” Mom grinned up at Jake and laughed. When she wiped away at the tears, her face turned serious.

I frowned as I looked up at him again, my eyes really taking him in again. His eyes had bags under them, and you could see that he was running on only a small amount of sleep. I grunted. “You haven’t slept.” I stated as I crossed my arms over my chest. He rolled his eyes. “Jacob,” I scolded. “You’ve been on a plane for God knows how long, and then in a cab for an hour and a half. The closest airport is an hour and a half away!” My mother followed my motions and snickered.

“Jacob Michael,” Her mother voice came out—however, it was laced with worry and concern. “You will march your ass down that hall and into your room and get some sleep right now.” I frowned as my brother rolled my eyes—my mom was scary, but the only one out of the two of us with the balls to disobey her was always my brother.

“I’m fine, mum, really.” I looked at him again, and honestly you could tell that he’s aged a lot in over a year—it more ways than just one. He walked differently, his eyes holding knowledge and secrets that only he knew about.

“I don’t care, Jake—go shower and get to bed. Ellie will bring up your plate of food. Now go!” She pointed her fingers in the directions of the hallway. My brother sighed in defeat and began to walk away. However, Mum had other plans. “Wait, not so fast.” She called as she grabbed onto his forearm. He turned and you could really see how tired he really was. She frowned, but my mother pulled him down to her and she kissed his forehead. “I’m glad you’re home, honey.” She smiled again before she let him go. He reached his room and she turned to me. “That boy, I swear…” She mumbled as she shook her head. Even though she has a “look” on her face, you could see the tears beginning to fall. “Ellie, honey, eat up and take a plate up to your brother, okay?”

“Sure, mum.” I said as I kissed her cheek before sitting down with a smile.

One thing was for sure—my brother was home, safe, sound and alive. But I wasn’t quite sure how he was holding up.