A Walk in the Park with You

I awoke with the chilly feeling of being alone. Usually being alone in a big house, I learned to blow it off my back, but today it just felt.. empty.
I started packing my luggage and texted kit that i'd be heading to the aiport soon.
I called a cab around two to pick me up and as soon as I found my mom we went to eat at a cafe' in the aiport and then boarded our flight.

before turning off my phone I texted Kit
-me; I'm about to take off, I'll call you when I land. I miss you-

Me and my mom engaged in awkward small talk about the move and since then what had been going on.
I love my mom and I know what she's going through a lot but I wish she'd stop working so much and just, come home so maybe I could help her and she could help me. Ever since dad died she'd been acting like I did too. I told her about kit and she said she'd love to meet him, she didn't have to work again for a month, and promised things would change, but I clearly am not holding my breath for a miracle.

I slept most of the plane ride just like all the others to avoid my mother, and when we landed I told my mom I'd be outside while she waited for luggage and went to call kit. I waited for him to pick up but instead one of his friends anwsered. "Hello?" "Hey, um this is Scarlett is kit there?" "No he must have left his phone here after the party, he's in my spare bedroom with Roxy, want me to see if he's awake?" "No,No its fine, just do me a favor, don't tell him I called." I hung up as fast as I could wiping a tear that fell. "Ready sweetness?" "Yeah" I replied to my mom as we took a cab to a very small motel next to the cemetary. It was late, maybe 1am and my mom had been asleep but I had the sudden urge to go down to see my dad.

It was honestly maybe a 20 minute walk there so I just put on a sweatshirt, a beanie and some gloves before heading out. It was snowing and i was really cold as I reached my dads grave. I sat down on the snowy ground and kissed his tombstone. "I'm so sorry you're out here in the cold like this" I laughed gently but then started to cry. "I miss you, and it's just really hard to believe that your body is 6 ft below me, I want to dig it up and restore like back to you but I can't. Death scares me, I'm so afraid to be here like this" I wiped my tears and headed back to the motel. I fell asleep instantly and when my mom woke me up to visit again.

I got dressed and prayed, I talked to him again and so did my mom, after crying yet again, we went to get some breakfast. Mom was talking to me like she use to, and she even called me scar again. But the nickname made me wince from the thought of Kit saying it, It sounded so beautiful rolling off his womanizing lips. How did I fucking trust that kid. I rolled my eyes at my own rant in my head and finished my pancakes. The rest of the 5 days pretty much went like this, added more flowers, crying more, eating my feelings away more.

At the end of it, when we finally ended back in Texas, I didn't call Kit, I didn't visit. School was tomorrow infact, and I wouldn't give Kit the time of day there either.

Monday morning I woke up groggy and run down. I threw on some clothes, put my hair in a bun and didn't do my make up because i didn't care today. As I walked to school I saw Kit walk up to me. " hey scar, you didn't call or come over, what happened?" "Leave me alone. You have no interest in me and if you do, it's not to be best friends." my tone sounding like a thousand gun shots "so, go elsewhere and stop wasting my time because I'm certainly not interested in being your whore…and don't call me scar it'll make people think that we know each other." "Woah we're back to that again?" He laughed. "It's kind of sexy Scar but seriously why are you mad at me." "ask you're friend who anwsered your phone when I called, oh wait, he probably didn't tell you because you we're to busy with Roxy." I turned around and walked away. "Wait, wait Scar! Scar I'm talking to you!" He shouted. "I'm ignoring you!" I yelled back without turning around and walking to my locker. He didn't chase me, He didn't even show up the rest of the day, Which told me all I needed to know.