Sequel: Macchiato

Viola Lion

Diamond

If there was ever any one thing Alex regretted doing in his life, completely and wholeheartedly hated himself for, it was letting Jack go.

Well, not totally; it had all started by initiating a break. Nothing too grand and over-the-top, really. He just wanted some time alone... Except, that wasn't actually the case. He also wanted Jack to take a few months to—hopefully—mature a little more, become a bit less needy than he'd been before.

Jack had cried, of course, and Alex had been there to reassure him.

"It's just for a little bit, my Viola Lion. We just need to spend some time apart, maybe see other people. Then we can go back to normal, and everything will be better for us. I promise," Alex had cooed, holding his beau close and kissing the younger's disheveled hair softly, adoringly.

"What if you don't want me anymore?" Jack had sobbed, clinging to his then-boyfriend for all he was worth, like he was cut from the most beautiful diamonds the world had ever been so lucky to be graced with.

Alex had tried to hush him, saying, "You're my Viola Lion; no one could ever replace you, and you know that."

He'd meant it, too. No one could mean to him what Jack did, what Jack does, but he needed to step back from the younger, take a quick breather for himself.

It took another good half hour full of promises, light kisses, and reassuring squeezes before Jack calmed down enough to agree to what Alex was saying. Just take a few months, meet new people, go on a few dates and maybe try out a different relationship, but then when they were both ready, they'd go back to being exclusively Jack and Alex.

"This will be over before you even know it," Alex vowed, rubbing the tip of his nose against Jack's. He knew he should've been easing the younger from his touch, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He needed Jack to be relaxed about this and he was most relaxed in Alex's arms, the elder's words gentle and puffed quietly into his ear, skin-on-skin in the most innocent of ways.

It was as Jack was finally getting around to leaving Alex's apartment did he finally say something that wasn't an agreement or a plea of 'I swear I'll be better, please don't do this.' The older male almost didn't catch it, but the seven simple words rang through his head for days on afterward: "I will wait until you want me.”

He'd let them go along with his flow of guilt after no more than a week of being apart from the other man, and then he was out on the town, looking for someone new to get to know.

Matt Flyzik was the closest Alex ever came to loving someone who wasn't Jack, and they were a couple for only about a month and a half, two months after the break had begun, when Alex happened upon the younger while out and about.

Jack had been sitting at a park bench with another man in a beanie, dark hair—which wasn't as deep as Alex's Viola Lion's—sticking from under the edges. His light blue eyes were wide with admiration, focused intently on the boy in his arms.

The ebony-haired boy was smiling and blushing, leaning into the other man's chest, tilting his head up for a gentle kiss every now and again before he bit his lip to stifle his grin, looking back down to the ground as his cheeks flared a deep scarlet, just like they always did when he and Alex would kiss.

He wasn't sure what set him into motion or why he felt the need to, but he was alone and bored and simply decided to greet Jack, see how he'd been. Alex could feel jealousy begin to bubble in his stomach a little hotter with each step closer he got, but he pushed it away; this was his idea, after all. Just a little longer, they just had to be apart for a little longer.

It was within the ten feet mark that Alex began to notice things about the man Jack was sitting with, mainly the fact that he had a British accent, rabbit teeth and his nose scrunched just so when he'd smile or laugh. He reminded Alex of... well... Alex.

It was too late to leave, however, because when Jack glanced up for another kiss, his eyes landed on a similar brown pair staring at him.

To say the confrontation was awkward or slightly uncomfortable would be an understatement. Alex had to refrain from snapping every time Jack's new boyfriend, whom the eldest learned was a boy a few years their younger named Josh Franceschi, would kiss his Viola Lion's cheek or nuzzle his shoulder sweetly.

What surprised Alex the most, however, was how genuinely happy Jack had sounded, as though he hadn't spent the first two weeks of the break locked up in his old room at his parents' house, too depressed to even eat and tear ducts having run dry. There had been a small flash of hope and sadness in his Viola Lion's eyes (except the happiness was truly genuine), though, that let Alex know that his Jack was still there, was still waiting to be told that he could come home again.

The ending of the brief meeting was where Alex had to actually bite his tongue so he didn't spill an 'I love you' or 'I want to end the break;' he had Matt and Jack had Josh, and that was good. That was more than good, even. That was what their relationship needed.

Another three months passed by with Alex and Jack randomly bumping into each other, and Matt was even around a few times. Unlike Josh, who was always so consumed in Jack, Matt could see that his beau was hiding something.

"What is it with you and that Jack guy, huh?" Matt had demanded one night after a particularly close run-in with the younger, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest.

"There's nothing with me and Jack," Alex insisted, but Matt could see through it.

Alex didn't even know what was happening, but the very next thing to leave Matt's lips was, "I think we need to take a break."

When nothing was said in objection, the golden-haired man simply staring at him with a slack jaw and wide eyes, Matt scoffed and began to gather his things from around the apartment, muttering quietly under his breath as he went.

"You can't do this. I... I love you," Alex tried, but his tone was too uncertain for an already-annoyed Flyzik.

"I bet you do," was the last thing to leave the other man's mouth as he walked from Alex's life, leaving Alex alone in a scarily similar yet somehow so very different route as Jack had taken not even a half a year prior.

Alex was alone. He was alone. He didn't realize how... how hurt that made him. He didn't like it, didn't like the feeling of emptiness that settled in the center of his chest, right where his heart is located.

He knew before the relationship had even been given an actual label that they wouldn't last, that Matt was only a temporary pawn in his game of Life, but he didn't expect it to all end so abruptly. He thought they'd go on for at least a little bit longer before he'd have to find a way to tell the older man that he didn't see their future really going anywhere.

Alex was upset, sure, but not enough to cry or make a huge deal out of it. He didn’t try to contact Matt or go after him or anything of the sort—which kind of hurt Matt himself, but he didn’t expect anything less when he’d walked out of the apartment that day—and instead spent about a week alone, reviewing the last few months of his life without Jack being around daily.

It was coming up on the sixth day of being (sort of) single did Alex figure he’d had enough moping, that he was ready to get Jack back. He called the younger, asking if they could meet up somewhere, and of course his little Viola Lion agreed, saying that he’d actually been considering going out for some Panera anyway and to be there in twenty minutes.

Alex was eager, so fucking eager, to get there, and he had a mega-watt smile on his lips as he made his way from his apartment, being sure to spend as much time as he possibly could on fixing up his unkempt appearance.

That all faded away, however, when he walked into the coffee shop to see that Jack wasn’t alone. No, Josh was there as well, his arm around Jack’s waist with the ebony-haired man’s head leaning on his shoulder, content smile playing on his thin lips and eyes slipped closed lightly as Josh whispered away quietly to him.

The eldest male did his best to keep his smile on his face, but it was a difficult task. Jack just… he looked so… there wasn’t even a word for how he looked. It was as if he’d fallen in love all over again and had completely forgotten about his feelings for the one who’d virtually broken his heart, and that was probably the most painful thing Alex ever had to work through.

Jack had grinned when he’d opened his eyes to see Alex sliding into the booth across from him and his now-boyfriend, and even Alex couldn’t help but melt at how the chocolate eyes staring at him lit up impossibly further. His true intent on the meeting slipped away while he listened to the couple talk to him as well as each other about any and everything.

A few times Josh called Jack things like ‘babe’ or ‘baby,’ and that was where Alex realized how much better this relationship was for his ex; his Viola Lion hated those terms of endearment, thought that they were so painfully overused and would cringe when Alex called him anything even remotely close to them. That was where Viola Lion had come from—

“I swear to God if you call me that one more fucking time, I will snap and break your fucking neck,” Jack had warned, only slightly kidding. He would rather the elder call him ‘faggot’ than ‘baby.’

“Well, I don’t know what else to call you that sounds cute,” Alex had argued, pouting down at his boyfriend, snuggled into his side.

“You’ll think of something,” Jack insisted. “Just be original, y’know? Original is much cuter than babe, I promise.”

Alex sat for twenty minutes afterward in complete silence before he thought of something that wasn’t bad. It was a little long, sure, but he figured Jack would appreciate it, especially considering the effort he put into it.

“How about Viola Lion?” he asked, and Jack was momentarily confused before Alex decided to reiterate. “Like, because you’re pretty like the viola flower, but you’re tough like a lion. Y’know?”

“I’m not tough,” Jack had scoffed, lifting up his left arm to show how there was little to no muscle at all.

“You threatened to break my neck,” Alex reminded him. “That’s pretty tough in my book.”

Jack could only laugh, but he nodded all the same, burying his face in Alex’s chest. “Viola Lion,” he mused quietly, words being muffled by the elder’s shirt. “I like it.”


—and he didn’t even bat an eyelid when Josh would say ‘baby,’ instead seeming to smile a little wider.

Jack and Josh just… they clicked so much better than he and Alex ever had, and the elder didn’t even know that was possible.

At about a half hour into the meeting, Jack excused himself to go to the bathroom, giving Josh a quick peck on the lips before standing from the booth and walking across the small shop. When he was out of sight, that’s when the Briton decided to speak up.

“He told me, y’know,” he said softly, shrugging his shoulders. “About you and the whole ‘break’ thing.”

Alex shrugged as well, looked down at the table in shame. “Biggest mistake of my life.”

“Can’t say I disagree,” Josh said, reclining back and stretching out his arms casually over his head. “I just wanna know what you’re playing at here.”

A sigh passed the elder’s lips as he shook his head. “I just needed a little time for something else, y’know? I was feeling suffocated, and I thought that a break was the only way to finally get some air. I came here today thinking maybe I could get him back, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen anymore. He said he’d wait until I wanted him again, but now I think I’m gonna be the one waiting until he finally decides to come home.”

“Why would you think that was the thing to do?” Josh inquired curiously, completely disregarding the rest of Alex’s explanation for the time being.

“I don’t know,” the sandy-haired man admitted. “I love him, I always have, but I just… I didn’t see him for what he truly is; I didn’t see him the way that you do. I was so close to seeing him like that, but I just… I couldn’t at the time.”

“How I see him?” Josh pushed, not totally understanding what he was being told.

“It’s why I’m not gonna ask him to come back to me,” Alex said with a small nod of the head. “Jack… he’s a diamond in disguise, and all I saw was what lay just beneath the mask. I didn’t realize it until now, y’know? That there’s so much more to him than I could see. I thought I knew everything there was to know about him, even the things he never really told me about, but I didn’t. I still don’t. And because of that, no matter how good I was to him, I still didn’t treat him right. That doesn’t make any sense, does it? How could I be so good to him, show him endless love and still not be what he needs? Hell, it doesn’t even make sense to me. But I guess I just never had a reason to view him as anything too precious or perfect, as something that was easy for me to lose.

“With you two… I can just see it. The way you both still smile and hold each other, and just… he looked so fucking happy when I walked in, and I know it didn’t have much—if anything at all—to do with me. It was all you; he’s moved on from me, even after he said he wouldn’t. He and I went together so well, but it’s completely different with you both, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

“He’s everything I could ever want and then some, and I would do anything to be able to hold him the way that you do, even just one more time, but I let him go. It’s all on me, and now he has you and I can only stand back and watch from the sidelines. I want him back, more than fucking anything this world has to offer do I, but I’d rather see him happy, and if that’s what he is while in your arms, then so be it.

“He looks like he’s on top of the world when you’re next to him, and I thought that’s how he looked when he was with me. He didn’t, and now I know that, and it hurts, but it’s better this way. This is how things are meant to be. You belong together; he shouldn’t be with me.

“You saw past the disguise. You see him as the diamond he really is, and I know that you’re not going to make the same mistake that I did. The way you see him is the way he deserves to be seen; the way you treat him is the way he deserves to be treated. I wish it wasn’t like that, but there’s nothing I can do now. It took me much too long to realize that he’s what I need. Nothing I could ever do could make up for what I did, and I don’t think I could replace you in his heart just like no one could replace him in mine. That’s just life.”

Josh sat in silence, eyes roaming Alex’s face intently as he processed everything he’d just heard.

“You’ve got a lot to say for the one who walked away,” he mused quietly after a few moments, earning him a solemn nod.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.”

The younger boy sighed, glanced down at the tabletop between them. “He still cares about you. More than he’s letting on, I’ll wager. He’ll see or hear something and laugh and say, ‘Oh, Alex used to love this,’ or ‘I remember this one time when Alex…’ I can only hope he thinks about me the way you say he does.”

“He does, trust me,” Alex assured. “And if you treat him wrong, even half as bad as how I treated him, I will hear about it and I won’t hesitate to fuck you up.”

Josh looked up then, a bit worried about what Alex was telling him, but he relaxed when he saw that the elder was smiling slightly.

“I should probably leave before he gets back… Just tell him something came up and that it was important I go or something, okay? And that I’d like to do this again sometime.”

All Josh could murmur was a, “Sure, mate,” sending a wave as Alex made his way towards the exit.

Jack reappeared mere moments after the front door had closed behind his ex, and he was a little confused when he didn’t see the elder anywhere.

“Where’s Alex?” Jack asked, subconsciously tilting his head to the side.

Josh simply smiled and leaned in for a quick peck before answering, “He said he had to go wait for something at home, but that he’s sorry he had to leave without saying goodbye. He also said he’d like to do this again, if you’d like?”

“You don’t mind if I hang out with him?” Jack questioned worriedly, chewing on his bottom lip as he gazed back at ice blue eyes, so very unlike his previous love’s.

Josh shook his head. “He seems like a good guy; I trust that he won’t try and steal you away from me. It’s fine, baby, honestly.”

The taller man smiled right back and resumed his position snuggled into his boyfriend’s side, letting out a content sigh when he felt arms wrap tightly around him once more. The couple stayed like that for only a few minutes more before mutually deciding they’d rather go home and cuddle while watching something like Zombieland or maybe even Prom Night.

They were almost home—well, Josh’s apartment—when Jack felt his phone buzz in his back pocket, and he pulled it from his jeans without a second thought. The name ‘Alex<3’ flashed across the screen (and he still kind of felt bad about it but he couldn’t bring himself to change the contact and he hoped Josh would never see it), and he opened it up right away.

To his great confusion, it was a picture of the night sky, millions of pinprick stars visible in the darkness, either taken from Google or—more than likely—taken by the elder himself only a few nights prior. What really got him, though, were the words he received with the image:

I am a million pieces of the sky; I found a way to be alone. I’m gonna wait until you want me, until you finally decide to go home. – Alex<3

Jack was a little upset that he’d never thought of something cute to call Alex, but he typed back the first thing that came to his mind all the same.

I am, I’m gonna run this like a lion; another way to be alone. And I will wait until you want me, until you finally decide to go home. – Viola Lion<3
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i kinda like this one but can't stand it at the same time
you all probs h237420 it huh welp
sorry it jumps around and then just ends sighs but i mean in all fairness the song hardly makes sense as it is
oH but hey if you have a facebook, you should check out When Music Speaks bc it's run by an awesome friend of mine and i'm like the only one who pays attention to the things she posts and it makes me feel bad bc gr12 music and cool as fuck girl, feel.
anYWHO thanks for commenting on Get Naked (I Got a Plan): jalex_barakarth3012, m0riarty, xMareBear14x, alltimelesbians, Gaskarthloveme, Jalex_stronghammer, Rose682, brxndneweyes, brickbyboringbrick12, sarabethg99, alltimeliyah and kickthepj!
idk why you like it so much but whateves glad you do
love you all!