Confiding in You

"Can you get your feet off the dashboard?" My older brother Cooper's angry voice booms throughout the car as he speeds down the highway. It's clear that he's going much faster than he should be, but that's the least of my worries right now.

Coming back to the east after three years of living in California, the stress of my summer work for the two AP classes I'm taking, and the idea that I have to return to school soon with people I completely cut off communication with is enough to make me want to vomit.

I smirk up at him from my book despite the anxiety I've been feeling since I boarded the plane, not responding to his request. He shakes his head and glances at me irritatedly before attempting to push my feet down himself. He fails, though, and lets out a sigh.

"Could you be any more rude, Maddie?" He says through his teeth, clearly trying not to start an argument with me just yet. I only just got to Ohio an hour ago.

"What about you?" I say, trying to comprehend the page I just read in The Scarlet Letter for the twelfth time, "I'm trying to read and you're yelling at me."

"You also have your damned bare feet on mom's dashboard and refuse to take them down."

"Whatever," I roll my eyes and give in to his wishes. I don't exactly want to start a fight with my brother right now either.

In the three years I've been living with my dad, he hasn't changed at all. He's grown significantly taller and is 18 now instead of 15, but he's still a pain in my ass.

We pull into our driveway faster than I thought we would, thanks to his reckless driving. A groan involuntarily escapes my lips when I realize I had only made it a few pages into my summer reading. I only have two weeks left to do it all. I regret staying in California for as long as I did for the summer, because I just delayed everything that had to do with Ohio while I was there.

Without another word to me, Cooper gets out of the car and rushes to the small house in front of us. He doesn't even offer to help with my bags. I shouldn't be surprised though. I was lucky he helped me load them into the car. Hell, I was lucky he didn't leave me stranded at the airport.

I hastily pull all of my bags out of the back seat and struggle to make it to the door, where my mother is waiting to greet me.

Thankfully, she takes all of the bags and sets them down inside. My cheeks flush as I watch how excited she is to see me. Once the bags are on the floor she engulfs me in a big hug that I politely return.

I think she has forgotten the huge fight we got into right before I left to live with my dad. This might be a good thing, but it's no less awkward than if she greeted me with a scowl and silence.

"Madeline," she sighs into my ear as she rubs my back, "It's so good to see you. I've missed you so much."

I wait for her 'I told you so' as she pulls away from the long hug. I haven't spoken to her since she told me I wouldn't fit in well in California, and I know she is going to rub the fact that she is right all in my face.

To my surprise she only smiles sympathetically at me, her eyes full of worry, "I hope you're alright honey. Your room is right where you left it."

Cooper runs down the stairs as she says this. He sticks his tongue out at me, ready to move past my mom to the kitchen but she stops him right in his tracks, "Help Maddie with her bags."

He groans loudly, much too dramatic than needed, but picks up the biggest of my bags regardless. I smile my thanks to her and get the rest, following him up the stairs two at a time. The feeling of nostalgia while I walk through the familiar hallway to my much more familiar room passes through me.

The familiarity of everything, while it is eery, is soothing to me at the same time. The house still smells like the Frosted Cupcake candle that my mom continued to burn even while I was gone. My walls are still painted an ugly shade of pink. The carpet still makes an annoying sound when I step in a certain spot.

It really was just as I left it. I knew this house. After spending so much time trying to adapt to everything in California and failing, I need that. The only thing in this house at this moment that changed was me.

Cooper drops everything off into my room and looks at me, expressionless. "Why did you have to come back?" He says, "It was much more fun being an only child."

"Because everyone hated me," is all I say. He huffs as if he's not surprised and turns to go back downstairs.

That isn't exactly the reason, but it's part of it. There are a lot of things that pushed me to leave California. One moment, specifically. But I had vowed to myself that I wouldn't think about it again. I'd practically repressed it from my memory by the time I got to Ohio and I was hoping it would stay that way.

Once Cooper's gone, I leave all of my bags on the floor and walk past my walls scattered with photographs over to my bed. The same bright purple sheets from when I was 13 are still on it and the sight of the uncomfortable fabric is the most comforting of all.

I decide its best to continue trying to read for AP Lit, since it is one of the reasons for my stress anyway. It will distract me from the sadness I feel about California and the anxiety I have toward starting back with everyone I knew back then, too.

I settle into the bed, curling up in a ball and opening my book. The atmosphere and feeling of sitting in this room and reading for school that I knew, as much as I always hated it, is enough to make me realize I made the right decision coming back. The only thing I'm going to miss about California is my dad, since he was basically my best friend there.

As soon as I stop focusing on my surroundings and start actually trying to read, I hear my moms voice calling my name from downstairs. I close the book without reading a single word and sigh.

"What?" I yell, but she doesn't respond. I ask again, and still nothing. Annoyed, I'm forced to get back up and go see what she wants.

"Mom, no. I don't want to," I immediately hear Cooper arguing with her once I get to the bottom of the stairs. I just know it has something to do with me. Oh God.

Meekly, I step into the kitchen, the place where I remember my mom spending the majority of her time. She is sitting on a stool by the counter and notices as soon as I'm there, pulling me into their conversation.

"Maddie, Cooper is going to a bonfire tonight and wants to know if you want to go with him," she smiles. I didn't know she felt that bad for me.

"NO, I don't!" Cooper growls. My mom clearly took all of the sympathy, since he had none. His eyes burn into me as if silently yelling at me not to oblige.

I have a lot of work to do, so as much as I want to piss Cooper off, I really shouldn't go. Plus, the last time I agreed to go to something like that, everything bad started to happen. I shake my head and his expression softens.

"Come on, Mad, at least then you will know someone," my mom begs. Cooper's face goes red again.

Still, I don't accept the invitation. My brother is about to be a senior and I'm only a junior. It wouldn't make sense to meet his friends for the sake of knowing them at school when they wouldn't even be in my classes. The friends of his that I remember him having were horrible people, too.

"I have so much to do," I offer.

"It's only one night," she says, "you'll have fun."

"Mom! She said no. Leave it at that. I don't want her to come anyway," Cooper is more annoyed and angry than I've ever seen him.

I almost say no and go back upstairs just to end the whole thing, but I begin rethink things. In the back of my mind something is telling me there is more to his opposition than just not wanting me around. And besides, I missed pestering him all the time. Things couldn't get as bad as they did in California, either. My work could wait, just a night.

"You know what, I guess one night won't hurt," I smile and I know he definitely wants to rip my head off.