Confiding in You

By the time I get ready for my first social event of my return to Ohio, Cooper is standing by the door with his arms crossed, probably annoyed out of his mind. It's not my fault I missed having my own shower or that I wanted to go through all the clothes I left here. Or that I have no concept of time anymore.

"Maddie, could you hurry the fuck up?" He calls up the stairs to me as I scurry around my room to find a pair of shoes to go with my sundress. I don't know why I care so much. After all, it's just Cooper's friends. But I picked up on some horrible habits in California and caring what people thought of how I looked was one of them.

I rush down the stairs, pulling the back of my shoe over my heal and practically tripping and falling to my death. Cooper stifles a laugh at me as he opens the door and I give myself one last look in the mirror before following him outside.

When were back in his car, I really hope he doesn't speed again. I'm assuming the bonfire isn't that far away, but we are late so he probably will.

To my surprise, once he pulls out of the driveway he actually starts driving at the speed limit. As soon as we get on the main road, he starts talking to me rapidly.

"Okay, I don't even know why you came because there's going to be drinking and most likely drugs and other things your sorry ass doesn't like."

I turn to him with mock surprise, even though I really had no clue this bonfire would involve stuff like that. I should have known. That was probably why he seemed like he was hiding something.

"Wow, for a second there I thought you maybe cared about me for a second," I tease him to try to hide my surprise and he laughs.

"No, I just know you're about to be a buzzkill."

I sit up straight in my seat as he says this, feeling offended even though I knew it too. I'd tried so hard not to be a 'buzzkill' when I moved and it just made things worse. So maybe I wasn't so much offended than confused on what to do.

"I am not," I whine and he shoots me a look that says 'you're being one right now.' We pull into the parking lot of our destination before I can defend myself further.

"I guess we'll see," he mumbles, pulling the keys out of the ignition and jumping out of the car. I rush to get out too, because I know if I didn't he would leave me in there alone again.

I hurry to his side as he walks toward the fire and he shoots me an odd look. Allowing there to be more space between us, I rub my arms and look at my feet as I walk. Mentally, I scold myself for not bringing a jacket. It's 20 degrees colder here right now than in California.

We approach the group in no time and Cooper makes no effort to introduce me. I scan around the circle. At least I know everyone there.

Cooper scoots in close to his girlfriend, Lily, and wraps his arm around her. She leans her head on his shoulder with a smile and I gag. I forgot Cooper got everything. He's the one with the friends and long-term girlfriend and perfect life. I'm left with shit.

I didn't notice that I hadn't sit down yet, but I'm sure no one else noticed either. While someone hands Cooper a cup that I assume is filled with beer, I sit quietly between him and one of his friends.

The night has barely started and I'm already sure that I shouldn't have come. No one is going to talk to me anyway. And I'm definitely not drinking. So I will just have to sit here.

I must have thought too soon though, because Coopers friend that I am sitting beside turns to me in shock, yelling out my name. I realize that it's his best friend, Ashton, as he hugs me. He smells like a mixture of smoke and alcohol and I try not to convulse as I sit there without returning the gesture.

Ashton was never someone that I ever really felt comfortable around. When I left to go to California he was already smoking pot and drinking and fucking around. That's all cool, he can do what he wants but he's also an asshole. I tried my best to stay away from him before and I most likely will again.

In order to distract myself from his gaze, I look over his shoulder. My stomach flips and I get even more nauseous at the sight of Luke, my brothers friend that I'd had a crush on for years before I left, sitting beside him. I must have missed him when I was looking around to see who I knew. Either that or he just got here.

Luke is already looking at me when I notice him and I blush. Ashton's surprise when he said my name must have caught his attention. He has gotten much taller and much more attractive since I last saw him. Once our eyes meet, he gives me a small smile that I return nervously. Without a second thought, I let out a sigh and turn back away.

He never liked me anyway.

"Do you want a beer?" Ashton asks me, breaking me out of my memories of all the times Luke would shoot me down in the past.

I shake my head and I'm about to give him a verbal response that matches it when Cooper snaps his head up angrily. I'm surprised. He was so caught up in his whispering sweet nothing's to Lily that I thought he would never pull away from her.

He turns to Ashton with a scowl, "Of course she doesn't want a beer, are you fucking insane?"

Ashton had been in the process of handing me a drink, but Cooper knocks it out of his hands and into the grass angrily. He pulls his hand back away from me and looks just as stunned as I am. We both stare at him, confused, and a smile breaks on his face.

"She's too much of a goodie two shoes to ever drink," Cooper says, laughing now. Ashton chuckles with him and I bury my face in my hands. I really shouldn't have come.

I feel Ashton get up off the bench that we're sitting on without looking up. He pushes me over, nearly knocking me off, in an effort to sit next to my brother. I regain my balance and finally look up to see that the only reason he did to knock Coopers arm playfully and probably to talk more crap.

I roll my eyes and wish I had friends here so I could call them and leave. This is unbearable now that I know no one is actually going to talk to me. Not nicely, at least.

"I don't drink either," I abruptly look over at Luke, seeing him shake a bottle of water in front of me. I hadn't realized I was now sitting directly beside him.

"Oh," I barely say, my voice cracking. I figure he was just making fun of me so I turn my head away from him and stare out at the fire. He proves me wrong by continuing to speak.

"So, how do you know Ashton and Cooper? I've never seen you before."

"I'm Cooper's sister?" I say, but it comes out like a question. He looks back at me, bewildered.

"I didn't know Cooper had a sister," he laughs. Oh. Cool.

I fight the urge of my inner 13-year-old, ready to cry at the fact that he doesn't even remember me in the slightest. I flip my long hair over one shoulder and start to braid it nervously.

"I just moved back here from California," I leave out the part about me only being there for a few years. As much as I'm hurt, I don't want to embarrass him.

"Why would you want to do that?" He questions, as if California is the best place in the world. I can't say I blame him though, I thought the same thing before I left.

"I missed Cooper," I joke, glancing over at him and he responds perfectly, shooting me a harsh glare. Luke laughs and I continue, "I just don't think it was the right place for me."

He only nods and all conversation topics that I could ever have leave my mind suddenly. I turn forward again and shiver. Even with the fire, I'm still cold. Or maybe that's just my nerves.

"You cold?" He startles me by speaking again. What is he, watching my every move? How could he possibly go from completely ignoring me to that? I nod and he starts to shrug his letterman jacket off.

"Oh, you don't have to--" I start, but even before I can finish he has it draped around me. I look up at him, still confused as to why he's treating me this way, and he grins.

I try not to think further into it than I should and slip my arms into the sleeves. I ignore the smell of his cologne that rubbed off on the jacket and the feeling that I'm about to pass out.

"Are you guys twins?" He asks, continuing to surprise me every time he speaks to me.

I shake my head and notice his eyes widen a bit before I elaborate, "I'm 16, I'm two years younger than him."

He lets out a breath and smiles, "I still can't believe I didn't even know he had a sister."

And I still can't believe you're talking to me, I think. I'm still upset that he didn't remember me when I tried so hard to mean something to him. But at least he was noticing me now, right? That counted for something.

"You're going to CHS, right?" I nod and he is still smiling at me, "I'll hopefully be able to see you around when school starts then."

I feel myself blush at his words, my stomach tying itself in knots. On the plane home from California, I wished that something would go right for once. Is this happening? Or am I thinking way too far into it?

"Do you want to like, roast marshmallows or something?" Luke brings me back to reality. I find it ironic that he asks me this, with Ashton beside me smoking pot and Cooper making out with Lily beside him.

"I don't really like marshmallows, but sure," I grin.

"I'll eat whatever you don't," he laughs, handing me a metal rod and the bag of marshmallows. Ashton chuckles from beside me.

When I turn to him, annoyed, to see what he's laughing at, he blows smoke in my face. "Are you really roasting marshmallows?" He's still laughing as I wince at the smoke.

"At least it won't kill me like that," I say, pointing at his joint. His laughter starts up again.

"Weed doesn't kill you, sunshine," he blows smoke directly at me again. I don't even try to respond, but instead groan and get up to sit closer to the fire.

Still surprising me, Luke follows and sits right beside me. As soon as I am starting to accept this, a thought comes to mind that this is probably just a stupid practical joke. My chest sinks and I start to remember the times where he would pretend to like me and asked me out as a joke on Christmas Eve. Was this round two? It can't be... I convince myself, his confusion and surprise seem so genuine.

"Your marshmallow is on fire," I hear Luke yell in a heap of laughter, keeping me from thinking about it any longer. I pull my stick away from the fire as fast as I can and make a face at the black, mushy marshmallow nearly falling to the ground. He grabs it before gravity can do its job and stuffs it in his mouth. "I like them burnt," he mumbles as he chews.

I giggle and stare at him for a moment longer. He really is so much cuter than I remember. My heart practically sinks just looking at him. I can't believe he is even talking to me.

"Can we do something other than sit around like a bunch of dorks," Ashton slurs from behind me, hitting me on the back of the head. I look around to see that everyone is with a significant other but me, Luke, and Ashton.

"Like what?" Luke tilts his head up to look at Ashton. The way the light of the fire hits his face makes him look even more attractive.

"Like, explore the woods or something," he answers, lazily pointing over to the trees.

"It's dark," I say simply to try to keep the nervousness out of my voice. There's no way I would go, unless I wanted to get killed or something. To sound more reasonable than scared I add, "and you're drunk."

"Yeah, I'm content with staying right here," Luke says.

"Scardy cats," Ashton's laugh is loud and for some reason contagious. Without thinking, I laugh along with him and he smiles this huge smile, sitting down next to me. He grabs a lock of my hair and wraps it around his finger, "Come on Maddie, live a little."

I flinch as his finger brushes against my cheek but remember what Cooper said about being a buzzkill. It was frightening walking through the woods at night, but I try to convince myself that nothing would happen. It's the suburbs of Ohio.

Plenty of murderers are from Ohio, my subconscious reminds me but I shake the thought. I stand and Ashton mimics my action with a drunken smirk.

"Fine," I say. Luke is looking up at me worriedly and jumps up. I can tell he really doesn't want to come. "You don't have to if you don't want to," I remind him.

He simply shakes his head at me and Ashton leads the way into the woods. Once he's a little ways ahead of us Luke whispers in my ear, "He's drunk off his ass and the worst person. I wasn't about to let you go in here with him by yourself."

He places my hand in his and my knees go weak.