A Warped Summer

Chapter 17: I Scream For Perfection

"Irislane, you are the brightest star in the sky, the one who keeps me going from day to night, and you are the brightest light that could shine through every single dark night," he said to me as we lay on the ocean's sand. We were next to the shore and my feet were softly touching the water that would brush over my toes whenever a small wave would crash in the distance. This was all too perfect. Much to my surprise, I never thought I'd be married at this age: 20. That's how old I was. And he's thirty. But, I never put much thought into age. My parents were ten years apart and they were so in love. That's how me and him probably looked right now.

"You are the best person in the world, you know that, right?" I asked him as his arm pulled me closer to him. The scent of honey lingered off of his neck as my nose nuzzled the nape under his ear. He hummed in delight and I smiled into his soft, pale, ivory, skin. Everything I loved about this man was all too true. Three years ago we met. And not a year goes by that I would have wished we were always together in those moments. Now, we're married, and I have all the time in the world with him.

"I love you," he whispered in my hair, which was now faded to a bunch of messed up colors.

"I love you too," I whispered back, kissing his neck in the process.

"Do you know what tomorrow is?" He asked me.

"No," I answered back. I had a pretty good idea though.

"I get to say that me and you will be heading back to California." That's right. We've been on this honeymoon for two weeks. I still remember today like it was yesterday. We've talked about anything and everything. And by that, I mean I've talked about my band, his band, and we've talked about more larger things than most. Like how we were going to see each other often. He was going on a tour for five months, and I was doing the same for seven.

His arm pulled us down onto the sand and I closed my eyes, feeling in the most bliss I've ever felt in my twenty years. I've actually been more mature than when I was seventeen, but nothing's changed; I'm still the same hyper and energetic girl that was always running from people playfully, the same girl who was always missing her mom, the same girl who was always too lost in her own world of day dreaming, the same girl who's best friends turned out to be some people she'd never lose even to this day.

"Are you excited to see FeeBee and Tootie again?" He asked me in his calmed pitch perfect voice. I nodded, thinking about those two weird, girly cats waiting at home. They were under the care with Andrew Dennis Biersack, my closest guy friend I have. Dahvie was a close second. Me and the guys from Pierce the Veil are closer now too. Tony was a brotherly figure, along with Mike and Vic. Jaime is the one I went to when I was down. Sleeping With Sirens are always goofing off around me, always cracking a joke here and there. We're closer than ever, considering the wedding. I'd made Kamryn my lead bridesmaid. She's helped out a lot for the wedding. All the Black Veil Brides guys decided to do our honeymoon. And this was probably the best idea in the world they've made.

Ranen and Vainen being the asses they were decided to pack a load full of tight dresses, bikinis, and lace underwear in my bags. I was thankful enough that they packed me a load of baggy sweat-shirts and pajama pants. But, they were right when they said, "He's going to make moves on you, now that your stubborn ass is finally married. Just be glad we packed the bag and you're ready to move on with that stage in marriage." I chuckled at the thought and he leanded over my closed eyes and hovered over my body.

"What's so funny?" He asked, his breath fanning my eyelids. I giggled and rolled over from his view.

"Nothing," I simply answered.

"Were you possibly thinking about why Ranen and Vainen packed so many odd clothes for you?"

"Maybe."

"Well," he began, his words even closer to my ear. "It was because I asked them to." I pushed him off of me and ran into the water.

"Uh! That's a nice way of saying get off!" He tackled me into the non-shallow end of the water and we began to splash each other with numerous amounts of water.

"I love you Iris," he said as we walked back to the cabin in a heap of water. He slung his arm over my shoulders, pulling me ever so closely to him in the process. I kissed his cheek before mumbling into his ear, "I love you too Kellin."

My eyes snapped open and I let out a shrill scream I didn't even know why I let out. A few thumps were heard from the other side of the door, and Andy shot up next to me as everyone burst through the door. All of the bands were now goathered in the moving room on the bus that was on the road.

"What's wrong?" Rollen asked me, pulling me as close to her as possible and I couldn't help but think I wish it was the Kellin in my dreams that held me even tighter.

"N-nothing i-i-important," I stuttered. None of them were satisfied with the answer and I looked around me. Dahvie and Jayy were now living on the Asking Alexndria bus, so there was only just three bands in the bus that was mine, BVB, and SWS. But there was only one problem. Kellin wasn't anywhere to be seen in the room.

"But you screamed. That means something had gotten to you . . . You can tell us," Andy said on my other side, trying as much as possible to comfort me.

I began sobbing. I don't even know why I had the thought to cry. Maybe it was the fact it was Kellin who was the one in my dreams that comforted me, made me feel so happy. Or maybe it was the fact I just didn't want to . . . Love him.

"I'm sorry," I finally choked out. "There is no need to worry about it though." And then the room seemed to brighten at the person who walked into the room. He looked like he'd just came back from a zombie marathon and then came back from the dead from watching it.

"What's going on? I heard someone scream," Kellin said from the doorway. I just decided to cry harder. All the arms that were around me fell, and another set of strong arms wrapped around me, immediately making me feel every bit of warm inside the same way from my dreams. When I felt this way, I stopped crying, but I was battling myself to cry again.

"Can you gusy give us a second?" I heard Kellin ask everyone in the room. Everyone filed out of the room and lef tme and Kellin alone. I don't know when, but I started to crying again and all teh while Kellin was running his finger through my knotted ahir smoothly while rubbing his thumb in circles on my back and whispering soothing things in my ear like, "It's going to be okay. Nothing's going to happen, it was just a bad dream." But the last sentence was wrong, he just didn't know it.

"It . . . W-wasn't a bad dream," I said through my pathetic sobs. "It was a great dream." He moved in his spot so we were laid down on the bed. There were two beds and one couch in here. So me and Andy shared one, and then the couch went to Kellin, and then Dahvie and Ranen got the other bed.

"Then why are you crying little flower?" He asked me. My sobs subsided for just hot tears, and somehow I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. The other reason I won't be able to go back to sleep? Well, because I don't want to wake up again from another dream with Kellin in it, especially if I'm married to him.

"I'm confused," I responded after a moment. I truly am. I don't know why I would cry for any other reason.

"What did you dream about?" The dreaded question spewed from his mouth. A question I didn't want to answer.

"I can't say," I simply said. Kellin shifted on the duvet and cupped my face into his palms before I stared straight into those grey eyes. I think I finally know what emotion he has whenever his eyes turn grey, I just don't want to believe it.

"You can tell me anything." Those were the only words he said that made me break down and start telling him everything.

"I've been having these dreams that I was married to someone, but I wouldn't be able to see what they looked like because I would always wake up. But tonight was different: I saw who it was. I'm jus6t confused because I think I might like him but I don't know. Every time I'm around him, I just feel a new piece of something like I'm complete. Ijust don't know what I'm feeling for them, Kellin." I was completely broken, and telling from Kellin's face, he was too. I think I finally understand why I may have seemed to hate Kellin before; because he gives me such a new feeling I don't know what is, and I don't really want to admit the name of it.

I think I heard Kellin choke. His arms started to wrap around me tighter, and I think he's . . . Jealous.

"Who is he?" He asked. It took me a while to wonder if I should tell him or not, but then I thought, It's better now than later.

"You," I told him in the most calmest voice I could muster. He stiffened and it was silent for the longest time.

"I was the one in your dream that one day you passed out on me when I told you I loved you, wasn't I?" I nodded my head into his chest and if it were even possible, he pulled me closer to him. "How do you feel about me, Iris?" For another moment that seemed like an eternity, I just laid there in his arms, wishing this was how we could stay forever.

"I think I like you Kellin, it's just . . . I'm just now starting a career and I really want to focus on it for as long as I can before I can get into anything too serious." I felt his head nod beside my head and I wondered what was going through his mind as he chuckled.

"You know, I think I'm more happier to hear you say you like me than anything in the world right now." I chuckled beside him at his ridiculous thoughts. Maybe wondering what goes inside of his head is not what I was expecting when it comes out of his mouth.

"Are you going to go to bed?" He asked me as he go tup. I thought over it for a moment before nodding. He nodded his head before heading to the door. Before he could open the door and head out, he turned back to face me and smiled.

"Let me know when you finally want to be together. I'm going to be sleeping in the "living room" so goodnight!" And with that, I was lef ta lone in silence, and I looked to the clock on the nightstand beside me.

1:03 A.M.

Well, this is going to be a rough time to try and go to sleep. But when my face hit the pillow, I was consumed in the darkness the tears had made me overcome with exhaustion and I fell asleep instantly dreaming about earlier when me and Kellin were on the roof.