...And a Happy New Year

Februrary 7, 2014

Today was the day. Chaney had been part dreading, part anticipating her talk with John later that night. Tonight was the night of the confrontation between her and John, or at least she hoped it wouldn’t get that far. The entire day, she resisted the urge to go around the office singing and pretending to be Jean Valjean. That’s not to say that she didn’t go around humming along to Valjean’s part of “The Confrontation” all day though.

Chaney had been to Halvo’s place to check up on him as much as she could, but he was doing fine. He was on bed rest for a while to let his ribs heal, so his only complaint consisted of boredom. He didn’t mind being waited on hand and foot, and relished the feeling of people answering to his every whim. Not to mention, when he wasn’t requesting people to wait on him, he was passed out due to the heavy doses of pain medication the doctors prescribed him.

Much to Chaney’s distaste, Halvo refused to let her stay there and keep an eye on him. She was still afraid to let him out of her sight, but as he was spending most of his day sleeping or watching TV, she didn’t feel as bad. It put her mind at ease that his parents came to check on him frequently.
She visited Halvo during her lunch break, wanting to spend as much time with him as possible to make sure he was alright. She knew he was, but she was still shaken from a couple days ago. She never wanted to relive what she went through those few hours while she waited to hear how he was doing. It definitely forced her to put some perspective on things and at the moment, that included her plan with John.

She pulled up to Halvo’s place and walked to his door, knowing where he kept his hidden spare key. She let herself in, and called for Halvo to let him know she was there. She didn’t see any cars in his driveway, so she wasn’t expecting anyone else there other than him.

She crept down the hallway and tried to be as silent as possible in case he was sleeping. Upon reaching his doorframe, she saw him asleep on his back, with one of his arms draped across his stomach, and his head turned towards the door.

She smiled as she watched him sleeping, taking note of how peaceful he looked. His breaths were slow, signifying how deeply he’s sleeping. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she watched him sleep. Her mind wouldn’t erase the fact that he literally missed death by a few inches. The doctor’s words kept cycling through her head, making her both sick with grief and overcome with joy; if the car that hit him had hit his car a few inches closer to him, Halvo would have died on impact. Her hand instantly went to cover her mouth as her sobs began to make their presence known. The last thing she needed to do was wake Halvo up due to her crying over the fact that he almost died. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down and kept telling herself it would be alright because he was here, alive. She needed to stop breaking down every time she saw him.

Leaning her back against his door frame, she sank down to the floor, and held her knees against her chest as she continued to watch him sleep. In the back of her mind, she knew this probably seemed a bit on the creepy side, but this is Halvo. He is currently the most important person in her life, and she almost lost him. She had to keep making sure he was okay, even if she knew he was. She refused to take it on faith; she had to see him in person to put her conscience at ease.

Chaney was so wrapped up in her mind, she hadn’t recognized Halvo had woken up and was looking at her, until his voice startled her back into reality.

“Ya know, if you were going to just sit here and stare at me all day, all ya had to do was ask. I’ve got a million hot pictures to satisfy your lust.” He quipped.

She looked at him and saw his smirk at her actions. She rolled her eyes.

“God Halvo, it’s good to know your humor wasn’t injured though all of this.”

“Of course not! I’m a Halvorsen; our humor dies only when we do.”

She appreciated how he was trying to lighten the mood despite the heavy topic.

“I know, you Halvorsen men are too stubborn for your own good. You could cheat death itself if you didn’t want to die yet. You’d find a way to live until you were ready to go, huh?”

Halvo nodded and smiled. “Of course. I may have had a close call, but I wasn’t ready to go yet. Won’t be for a while. I still have a lot of things to cross off our bucket lists.”

This was news to her.

“Bucket lists? W-what do you mean?” Chaney was getting a tad nervous, not knowing what schemes Halvo had up his sleeves.

“Nothing too shoking,” he chuckled, “just things that we both need to do. I’ll tell you this much though, there was no way I’d be leaving before witnessing you get your John kiss. That in itself is worth sticking around for.”

Chaney laughed, “Oh yeah? And why is this kiss so important for you to witness before dying?”

He shrugged his shoulders and in all seriousness replied, “Because it’s important to you. Although unusual in nature, this has been a dream of yours for as long as I’ve known you, and you’d be crazy to think I wouldn’t want to see your face when it finally happens.”

She began to tear up again, once again more than thankful that she still had her best friend around. She got up from the floor and walked over to Halvo and gave him a big hug.

As he embraced her, he was going through his own personal bucket list of things Chaney had no idea about. Next to her kiss with John, he wanted her to realize and know with confidence how strong of a person she is. She relied on him for way too much, and he couldn’t help but think that despite how he tried to play it off, he did almost die. Even if he had and no matter how much he wanted to live, if the car was a few inches closer to him, he wouldn’t be here having this conversation with Chaney right now.

He wanted to prepare her to not be so dependent on him. He would always be there for her, but he knew eventually they would settle down and marry, and she would need to learn how to be by herself. Since they met they had been inseparable, and after what happened a couple days ago, he was afraid he had done her a disservice by letting her rely on him for everything. He loved her so much and wanted her to embrace being the strong, independent woman he knew she was, but refused to become.

As they released from their embrace, Chaney pulled out her phone to look at the time, and much to her dismay, saw that she had to start heading back to work as her lunch break was almost over.
With a pout on her face, she broke the news to Halvo.

“Well, it seems as if my lunch break is almost over. I need to start heading back to work, and then get ready for tonight.”

Halvo instantly perked up at the end of her statement.

“Tonight’s the big night, eh Indy?” He winked suggestively.

With a light shove to his shoulder, she dismissed his joke.

“Yes, but not in the way you’re implying. All I know is John is going to hopefully tell me why he’s been so hostile towards me over the last few weeks. I’m just hoping we both can keep the peace.”

“You guys have seemed to do it the last couple times you talked. Didn’t you say, too, that you guys had been texting and calling each other anyway?”

“Yeah, but the phone calls only happened a couple times, and the texting wasn’t anything that major.”
She nodded in reply. “Besides, he has a date with Stephanie tomorrow anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

Halvo’s face fell as he saw his best friend try to keep herself together. He knew she could, but she needed to learn to do it on her own. “You’re not giving up already are you?”

Chaney merely shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t really know Halvo. I see Stephanie and she seems so put-together. She’s not afraid to socialize and be the center of attention. I hate having any sort of attention on myself, and prefer only talking to those I already know. I hate meeting new people. So, sometimes it’s hard to not give up because why would he want me when he could have Stephanie?”

Halvo gave her a small smile, moved over a bit, and padded the newly open space on the bed next to him for Chaney to sit.

She plopped into the empty space, one leg folded in front of her on the bed, the other dangling off the side of the bed. Both her hands were in her lap, as was her concentration.

Halvo took one of her hands, squeezed it, and said, “Chaney, look at me.”

He waited until she did so before he continued. “You need to quit comparing yourself to Stephanie. You’re amazing just the way you are.”

Chaney had to stifle a giggle at his use of a Bruno Mars lyric unknowingly.

Realizing what happened, Halvo chuckled himself, and brought Chaney’s attention back on him. “I’m serious though. You are truly an amazing person. You are the only one that gets to be you, so embrace it! No one else can ever be you, so you need to be the best you that you can be. Alright? Can you do that for me? Be happy with who you are, because who you are is nothing short of beautiful. So don’t compare yourself to anyone else because that’s doing a disservice to yourself. You’ll never be anyone else, so stop trying to be anyone but who you are. John would be lucky to be with such a beautiful woman.”

She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he pat her hand and squeezed it, before releasing it.

Chaney got up from where she was seated on his bed and made her way towards his door, looking back over her shoulder and waving before she left.

As she made her way towards his front door, she heard him call out, “Knock him dead tonight, tiger!”
She smiled and made her way to her car.

***

Not really having any knowledge of proper concert attire or etiquette, she worked with what she had, deciding to play it more casual. She had never been to the venue they were playing at, nor did she know if she would be able to sit. With that in mind, she wanted to dress comfortably in case of any scenario. Donning a pair of cut off jean shorts and a vintage graphic tee, she touched up her makeup from that morning, and slipped on her Chucks before heading out the door.

She arrived at the venue, and decided to go as far to the back as possible. She didn’t want to be in the way, or be up front. She honestly wasn’t a huge fan of concerts, so if it wasn’t for her talk with John after the show, she wouldn’t be there. She hated the loud music, the lack of personal space, and more often than not, the lack of deodorant use within the crowd. She never understood why people paid money to be in such uncomfortable positions to see people they could simply listen to on their iPods. Especially when you could control the volume and your comfort as you listened.

She kept telling herself that it would be over soon enough and she would meet up with him then. John had texted her earlier in the afternoon telling her to meet them by the stage after the show and he’d let her by so they could talk. Why he was so insistent on her attendance to his band’s show was beyond her, but maybe she would unveil another layer of John she had yet to see.

The room gradually became more and more full as young girls, and a few guys, made their way through the doors, pushing their way up front. She found herself pulling back, and forcing her way as close to the back wall as possible in hopes of having room to breathe and less contact with this herd of people she didn’t know.

The lights dimmed and the high pitched shrill of teen girls screaming filled the room as the band made their way on stage. She was already dreading this more than before, praying the obnoxious screaming would subdue. It did eventually, but that didn’t stop the loud, off-key singing from the rest of the crowd. The longer she stood there, the more she questioned how people actually enjoyed going to these sort of events. To her, they seemed like a waste of time and money, but she wasn’t one to judge. She loved music as much as the next person, but was more content experiencing her music through headphones rather than through speakers bigger than her.

By the end of the show, she couldn’t deny how pleasantly surprised she was at their playing. The music wasn’t as intense as she was expecting it to be; then again it was an acoustic show. She enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere that they almost forced onto the crowd just by how they interacted with everyone. Despite the size of the venue, the show felt very intimate and genuine.

One thing was for certain, she discovered that John’s magnetic persona on stage is the same persona he has at parties. He gives off this vibe that you can’t help but be attracted and drawn towards. In between songs, he would tell stories about the band, his life, or the story behind the songs which added such a personal touch for her. Chaney had never listened to their band before, much less heard of them, but found herself tapping her foot to a couple of their songs. She decided to talk to Halvo about hooking her up with The Maine’s music later.

Once the crowd started to clear and exit the main room, she made her way towards the stage and waited. She pulled out her phone to text John and let him know that she was by the stage, ready whenever she was.

After a couple minutes of awkwardly standing by the stage, she saw John peek his head out from the backstage area, and wave her over. She looked around to make sure no one else saw, and followed him backstage.

He led her to the room where they could relax for a few minutes before going out to meet the fans. The guys were all lounging in the back, drinking a few beers, and goofing off with one another.

John plopped onto one of the empty couches and laid back, stretching the full length of the couch and then some. He propped his hands behind his head, and looked over at Chaney, motioning with his head to pull up a seat and join him.

She looked around, hesitant about any of his band mates hearing their conversation. She reluctantly grabbed one of the lighter padded chairs nearby and carried it over to where John was currently lying down.

She sat there picking the polish off her nails as she wondered how to start the conversation. She didn’t know if she should initiate it, or if John planned on doing so. She still didn’t want to have this conversation with everyone else around.

She was beginning to get impatient until one by one, she saw the rest of the guys make their way outside. Once they had all left, she heard John take in a deep breath and sigh. Looking over at him now, she could see worry lining his face as he contemplated what to say.

He eventually looked at her and sat up, turning to face her in the process so they would now be sitting face to face.

“So, I’m not really sure how to start this conversation. It’s kind of…” John trailed off.

“Awkward?” Chaney supplied.

John laughed a little and nodded.

“Yeah, a little awkward. I know I’ve been a dick to you for a while now. I do sincerely apologize for that by the way.”

He made sure as he apologized that he was looking her in the eyes, hoping she could sense his sincerity.

He continued, “I have my reasons for being so…guarded with you, but it doesn’t excuse how I’ve been acting so I’m sorry.”

She sat there, expecting him to tell her why exactly he felt the need to be so guarded around her. Once again, she was growing impatient as he seemed to be finished talking; the short, vague apology apparently sufficient enough to forgive his past actions.

“So, are you going to tell me why you felt the need to be so guarded around me? I think you owe me at least that much. I need to know what I supposedly did to gain your hostility.”

John sighed deeply, not sure he wanted to open this can of worms quite yet. However, seeing the fire burning in her eyes, he decided to tell her some of the reason. He could at least tell her what she did at the party, though he would never admit the real reason why it bothered him so much. That was treacherous territory that hadn’t darkened the corners of his thoughts in almost a decade. If he could avoid bringing up his old skeletons, he would.

“Well, it goes back to Halvo’s party a few weeks back…”

Chaney sat there, still waiting for him to continue. She figured he needed propping so she added,

“Okay, what about Halvo’s party? Truthfully, I don’t remember much of it so I’m not sure what I could have done.”

John hesitated for a few moments before gathering the courage to tell her what happened.

“Basically, you got completely hammered that night.”

She deadpanned. “Seriously. You’re pissed at me because I got extremely drunk? Pot calling the kettle black are we?” She challenged.

“No,” he huffed, “if you would stop interrupting I could fucking tell you what you did and how shallow you are.”

She was taken aback. “Shallow? First of all, you barely know me, so how dare you waltz in and pretend to know anything about me when you know shit.”

Chaney felt the anger rising in her, blood boiling as she could feel her face turning darker and darker shades of red.

John was becoming just as flustered. “Yeah well, I may not know you that well, but I know a slut when I see one.”

She laughed, “Oh, and this is how you talk to all the girls? No wonder you can’t hold down a girlfriend.”

By this point they had both risen from their seats and were standing about a foot apart.

“That has nothing to do with it! You fucking made out with Halvo for some stupid Truth or Drink game and made a show out of it. So excuse me if I’m a bit concerned for the well-being of my best friend.”

She was stumped momentarily, trying to absorb this new information. “So why does me making out with Halvo bother you so much?”

He sighed, his face relaxing a little as the venom in her voice had slowly begun to disintegrate.

“Because I know that Halvo cares a great deal about you, and I don’t want you to toy with his feelings.”

“Toy with his feelings? John, I don’t understand what you mean. What I did was clearly part of the game, so why does that bother you?”

“It just does alright?”

He then brushed past her and into the hallway, taking the long way outside, all the while muttering to himself under his breath.

Needless to say, Chaney left agitated, slightly disappointed that they seemed to be stuck in this rut of being so hateful towards each other. She sank back into the chair where she sat a few moments prior, and hunched over, with her head in her hands.

She jumped when she felt someone’s hand squeeze her shoulder. She looked over her shoulder to see the red-haired guitarist standing beside her.

He looked down at her with concern. “Hey uh, Chaney right?”

She nodded.

“Are...” he hesitated to ask, “are you alright? I had come in to grab some water and heard yelling coming from in here. I knew John was still in here because he’s always the last of us to come outside, but I know how hot-headed he can be. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Chaney could tell that is intentions were solely good, and she felt like she could trust him. He reminded her of Halvo and how protective he could be over her.

She smiled at him, and repeated his questions. “Jared right?”

He laughed a little and nodded, realizing what she was doing.

“I’m….in a weird spot. It’s really long and complicated to explain, but I’ll be okay…eventually.”

She forced a small smile that she hoped would be believable.

He seemed to buy it because he nodded his head before releasing her shoulder and making his way back outside.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw she had a text from Halvo.

Indy, once you finish layin the moves on your boy, come over here and help me. I wanna watch TV but during my nap earlier, I kicked the remote off the bed and I’m not sure where it’s at.

She giggled at his quirkiness before pocketing her phone and making her way back to her car. Despite the tension that was still between her and John, she knew at least Halvo, and maybe Jared would help her out. If nothing else, Jared could become another sounding board for her. She still didn’t understand what was going on in John’s head and hoped they could help her decipher what was going on. John was being so hot and cold with her lately and her emotions were all over the place as a result. She was in desperate need of stability and was glad that she could go over to Halvo’s and receive just that.