...And a Happy New Year

May 5, 2014

Alex was stressing out more than normal. He had been behind in so many of his classes due to having to pick up extra hours at the record store. Finals were quickly approaching and his graduation was coming even quicker. He didn’t want to work in record stores all his life. He actually wanted to do something with his life. Sure, this job was okay while he was in school as a part-time gig, but his passion was elsewhere. He didn’t care enough about baseball to pursue that, which is why he didn’t play in college. He wasn’t artistically inclined like his sister. He couldn’t draw or paint to save his life. Though he was passionate about music, he didn’t think he’d ever pursue it. He could sing alright enough when he was belting out to a Frank Sinatra record alone at home. But put him on a stage or in front of any size audience and he would freeze. There wasn’t enough money in the world to make him perform for people.

His true passion, what he really felt fired up about, at least at this point in time, was photography. He stumbled into it at one point during college. No one knew of his hidden passion. Only his professors and fellow classmates that he now never saw. His passion stemmed from a free gig he got his sophomore year. One of his friends was a photographer and had to do a few photoshoots and needed assistance. He was paid in free coffee and experience. At first he was reluctant to help out, but his friend was desperate and he wasn’t doing anything that Saturday anyway. What he didn’t count on was falling in love with photography. After that day, he asked his friend more about photography and started taking classes the following semester. He hadn’t looked back since. He didn’t mind studio photography, but he really enjoyed event photography; concerts, galleries, sports, plays, it didn’t matter as long as he could experience it with the audience he was all for it.

He had a couple odd jobs for people throughout college where he made a decent amount of cash doing senior portraits and engagement photos. However, as graduation was looming and his classes were now all online, he had limited access to cameras and needed to save up to buy his own. This is why he started working at the record shop. He wanted a camera of his own so he could open up his own photo business. He was getting his degree in photography and minoring in business. He wanted to know all he could so his small business dream would be a reality.

Alex huffed, contemplating the status of his future as he restocked the shelves with the newest shipment.

Halvo walked into the record shop and saw Alex frantically shelving records. “Woah dude, what’s goin on? You seem a bit…tense.”

Alex groaned, “You have no idea. No one could fill in this week, so I’m working double shifts all week. Finals start Wednesday. I have a final project for one of my classes due Friday that’s supposed to be a semester-long comprehensive piece, but I haven’t been able to start it due to working all the time and now I’m afraid I won’t be able to graduate. I took this job so I could help pay for things I’ll need after graduation, and that’s hindered me from actually doing well in school.”

Halvo took sympathy on the guy, surprised he was so willing to open up about it. “When does your shift end?”

Alex pulled out his phone to see it read 11:55am. “Uh…I have my lunch break in about 40 minutes unless I skip it, then I can get off 40 minutes early. Shift is supposed to end around 2:30. Why?”

“Seems like you could use a drink. Take off some of that finals-stress edge. Besides, it’s Cinco de Mayo. Do you need another reason?”

Alex laughed lightly, “I guess not.”

Halvo smiled. “Good. I’ll meet ya at the bar down the block around 3 and we’ll start happy hour early,” he said as he pat Alex’s shoulder.

Alex waved to him as he left. Maybe this week would be alright. Besides, having a couple drinks always helped him unwind and he was finding Halvo’s presence less annoying than he used to. He sort of hated how little credit he gave the guy as they grew up. He was just glad they could be friends now.

As Halvo left the shop, his mind went into overdrive as he began plotting how to turn around the day for Alex. An idea popped in his head as he pulled out his phone with a devilish smirk.

“Yo Indy! Drinks?”

Chaney was sitting in a meeting when she heard her phone buzz on the table. She forgot to silence it. She looked to Mr. Rickford in apology as she tried to grab her phone as discreetly as possible. She unlocked her phone to see the message from Halvo. She rolled her eyes and tried to keep from being too much of a distraction.

“Now?! Dude, it’s barely noon. Don’t ya think it’s a little early for drinks?”

Halvo got her text and laughed. Of course she would think he meant now.

“Obviously not now smart ass. I meant this afternoon. Say…3ish?”

She smiled until she realized she still had work.

“Uh…I work for a living remember? :P I don’t get off till 5.”

He quirked his mouth as he tried to think of how to handle this. Maybe he’d take Alex to get food first, then get drunk. That would buy them some time, and get him somewhat loosened up before Chaney got there.

“Hey now, I work too. I just don’t have a stuffy office job :P So, how about 5ish then?

At the bar down the street from the record store?”

She quickly typed her reply before pocketing her phone so she wouldn’t be so distracted.

“Sounds great Romeo. I’ll see you at 5. xoxo”

He smiled as he got her reply and pocketed his phone. Today would be interesting that’s for sure. He just hoped the siblings could finally settle their difference. If it meant they needed a little liquid courage, he would provide the poison. He just hated seeing them at such odds with each other. He knew how much Dana meant to him, and he couldn’t imagine ever hating her with as much vigor as Alex apparently did Chaney. He was hoping they could resolve whatever sibling squabble they had and could finally be a family again.

***

Halvo was getting ready to leave his house to meet up with Alex, but he wanted to have a bit of fun. Sometimes he liked to screw with Chaney because he could. Just because they were dating didn’t mean he lost that side of him. If anything, he felt even more obligated to mess with her because now she had to accept it to some degree; knowing what she was getting into when she agreed to date him.

He looked at his phone and saw he had about 15 minutes before he had to leave to meet Alex. Knowing Chaney, she would be taking her late lunch break right about now, so he knew he wouldn’t be disrupting her.

“Yo Indy, are you coming straight from work or are you gonna change first?”

Chaney was sitting on a bench outside her office building finishing up her sandwich when she got Halvo’s text. Something about it seemed a bit fishy to her, but she brushed it off.

“Uh…I’m not sure…I figured I’d probably change. Don’t really feel like wearing a pencil skirt and blouse to a bar. Why?”

Halvo saw her reply and his grin grew.

“Oh, no reason really. I just wanted to make sure we didn’t match. I know how much you hate that.”

Chaney mulled his response, not really sure if she bought it or not. She was hesitant to respond before she reluctantly told him what she planned on wearing.

Halvo received her reply, enthused that he owned similar enough clothing and quickly changed before heading out to meet Alex.

Halvo met Alex at the record store right as he got off work and they ended up walking down the block to grab some food. The two were seated at a table towards the back as it was pretty empty due to the odd hour they were eating. Not knowing how much the two planned on drinking that night, Halvo found it better to go somewhere that didn’t serve fast food.

They looked through their menus, ordering their food, before commencing conversation.

“So Alex, how’s life been lately? Outside of the whole stressful school situation…”

He sighed, “I don’t know man. Life’s just been shitty for way too long now. It’s nothing recent. I’ve been dealing with this crap for god knows how long. I’m just sick of all the bickering.”

Halvo knew the Masters family and that they had their issues, but he wasn’t aware that it was as bad as it was. Chaney would talk about it on occasion, but she always kept it pretty surface level. He could only recall her ever telling him in-depth of the problems she had at home outside of her general complaints about her mom.

“What uh, what kind of bickering?” Halvo tentatively asked.

“Where do I begin?” Alex rolled his eyes. “Literally can’t do anything right by anyone. Chaney had always been the one I could rely on to be my support system, but now our relationship is so fucked up, I think it’s beyond repair.”

“Dude, what the hell happened between you two?”

Alex just shook his head. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. It started so long ago and just escalated from there. I’ll admit partial fault for why things have gotten as bad as they are between us, but it’s just become such a habit to hate her that I don’t know how else to feel around her. I’ve hated my own sister with everything in me for more than half of my life. How do you bounce back from that?”

Halvo sat there unsure of how to answer. He knew that they hadn’t really gotten along, but had no idea of Alex’s strong hatred of Chaney. He sat in contemplation as he watched Alex staring down at the table, messing with the paper ring holding their napkin and silverware together. He felt bad for the guy. He didn’t know the full story, but he was hoping that he could help them reconcile things today. At least get them talking to each other again. Anything had to be better than their current state.

“I don’t know man. I’ve never experienced that.”

“Yeah ‘cause you have a fucking perfect family,” Alex muttered.

“No, because despite how much we can all get under each other’s skin, at the end of the day we’re still family. We still love each other. I don’t see my sister often, but she’s still such an important person in my life. I couldn’t imagine completely cutting her out of my life.”

“Well that’s where we differ. I’ve wanted nothing more than to erase my sister from her existence in my family; or at least erase my own existence from this family. Our family is so fucked up.”

“Hey, every family has their problems. You—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, “you don’t get it. This isn’t some normal family dispute. This shit runs deep and has for as long as I can remember. Did Chaney ever tell you why we really moved here?”

“Yeah, your dad’s job…”

“Wrong. Well, it’s partially true, but he could’ve easily worked back home. He chose to move across the country for a reason. Have a fresh start. This move was supposed to be a good thing for us. We were supposed to get away from all the shit back in Alabama. Unfortunately that didn’t last but a couple years at best.

“I was so young when we moved, but I still remember the move so vividly. I didn’t understand why we were moving. All I knew was that my parents kept telling us that this was our fresh start. Our new chance at a better life than what we had before. From what I remember, we didn’t have it too badly back home and I was fine with how things were. Our parents thought differently.

“The hell if I know what ‘changes’ we were supposed to have here, but it’s been nothing but constant fighting and bickering. Chaney was the only one I could lean on for support and she just…betrayed me.”

Halvo sat there in silence taking in Alex’s words. He knew there was still more that he wasn’t telling, but it was more than anything Chaney ever told him. Part of him understood why she didn’t, but the other part of him was hurt that she didn’t feel she could talk to him about it. They talked to each other about everything. He didn’t understand why she or Alex were so adamant about working through all of this alone. If only he knew before any of what he knew now, he would’ve done anything in his power to help them. He hated that they had suffered so much and didn’t have a support system. Sure, Chaney had him, but Alex was literally alone.

Halvo thought back to all the times as he and Chaney were growing up that he dismissed Alex as her annoying little brother that wouldn’t quit pestering them. He now had some understanding of why Alex was so clingy towards him and Chaney; he sought the support system that Chaney had.

“Alex, I don’t know anything about what you and Chaney have been through, but you know you can talk to me right? I’m here for ya dude.”

Alex smiled a bit at him. “Thanks. Ya know, you’re not as obnoxious as I used to think you were…” he laughed.

“Yeah? Well you’re not the clingy little shit I used to think you were either,” he mocked.

Their waiter brought their food around that time. Their conversations turned much lighter after that. They talked about music and upcoming shows they wanted to go to locally. Food finished, they paid their checks and walked out to go down the block to the bar.

Halvo pulled out his phone and noticed that it was about 4:45 so they still had some time before Chaney joined them. They grabbed a booth off to the side of the small bar and ordered a couple rounds of drinks. Halvo hoped Alex would get enough of a buzz to be chilled out enough to talk to Chaney. His intentions were to not be so reluctant to her presence, therefore gladly providing the boy with more alcohol as he ran out.

The two lost track of time until Halvo noticed he had a couple missed calls and text from Chaney. It was almost 6:00. He looked at his phone and read her message.

“You little shit. I should’ve known better than to send you my wardrobe choice…”

He laughed as he scanned the bar hoping to find her.

“Ha! Ya caught me. Where’d ya disappear to?”

Chaney heard her phone beep and picked it up to read Halvo’s text. She was sitting on the other side of the small, crowded bar.

“I’m here, just on the other side. When I came in, I saw you were entertaining a guest and I didn’t wanna interrupt so I got a drink and have been sitting here enjoying it. WITHOUT my boyfriend…”

He read her message and panicked, quickly scanning the bar, and not finding her much to his dismay. He was beginning to panic when he felt two familiar hands cover his eyes from behind him. He smiled as he recognized her familiar scent.

“Alright, alright ya found me. You could’ve joined us ya know.” He smiled as she stepped from behind him to move to his side to look at him as they talked.

“What? No. It’s fine really,” she smiled. “I didn’t want to interrupt you and your—” she turned and gestured towards the boy across the table from him, “…guest…” she mumbled off. “Alex?”

He just continued to stare at them completely stone faced. Alex was contemplating whether or not to bolt or not. He couldn’t believe that she came here. Then again, he should’ve expected this. The two of them had been inseparable for as long as they’d been friends. He decided to bolt. He began to grab his wallet and phone, slipping them into his back pockets.

Chaney instinctively reached out to stop him from leaving. “Please Alex, stay. Don’t leave because of me.”

He could only glare at her, and then moved his glare to Halvo momentarily before moving his glare back to Chaney.

“And why should I stay if you’re here?” he asked in disgust.

“Because I’m your sister, I love you, and I want to know why you hate me so much. I miss my baby brother.”

He rolled his eyes and began to exit his side of the booth.

“Dude, stay. You owe her this much.” Halvo chimed in.

Alex looked at him incredulously and saw Halvo’s unchanging, yet demanding glare. A look he’d never seen Halvo give before. That was enough to halt his plans of leaving and scoot back in the booth.

Chaney instantly sat on the booth next to Halvo as he scooted over so she could sit across from Alex. She reached over the table, trying to grab Alex’s hands. “Al? C’mon. Please talk to me. Can you for once tell me what it is that I’ve done to make you hate me all this time?”

It took everything in Alex to keep his composure. “I’m surprised you don’t remember.”

She looked at him quizzically. “I seriously don’t. What happened? What did I do?”

“You were supposed to be there for me,” Alex answered meekly, not even making eye contact as he stared at his hands in his lap.

“I’ve always been here for you! What are you—”

“Don’t even fucking start with me Chaney,” he interrupted. “You know as well as I do that’s a load of bull shit. If you were here for me like you said you would be, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Ok….how was I not there for you?” she asked, pure confusion lacing her voice.

He quickly looked between Halvo and Chaney before resuming his gaze at his hands in his lap.

“Wait…is this about me and…Halvo?” she inquired.

Alex didn’t respond.

“Oh my god it is. You’re jealous that I started spending more time with Halvo while we were growing up because heaven forbid I was friends with anyone other than you,” she retorted.

“That! That right there. You’re total lack of concern for me. That pisses me off.”

“Oh god, get over yourself Alex! Stop bitching for once that the perfect baby of the family wasn’t the center of attention for the first time in his life,” she insulted.

“Right, because sharing any of the spotlight is past your realm of knowledge little miss premadonna,” Alex retorted.

“Spotlight?! Did you not grow up in the same house I did? Because last time I checked Mom and Dad never did anything but bitch about how much of a disappointment and failure I was. ‘Why couldn’t she have been more like Alex? Why doesn’t she try to pursue something worthwhile in her life other than art? Why is she hanging out with the white trash friends she has?’” she mocked. “The list could go on. Everyone knew Mom and Dad favored you over me. I had no spotlight to get because I was under a fucking microscope while they overanalyzed every ‘wrong’ decision I made. So cry me a river Alex that for a few years of your life, I didn’t give you my undivided attention,” she spat sarcastically.

“Don’t fucking start,” he groaned, “you know damn well that’s not my issue.”

“Then what the hell is it because quite honestly you’ve been nothing but vague about it,” she challenged.

Alex just shook his head, this time really deciding to leave. “Thanks for lunch and drinks Halvo. It was fun while it lasted.” He glared at Chaney as he got out before he stormed out of the bar.

Chaney just sat there not knowing how to respond. She was both angry and disappointed. Not disappointed in her brother necessarily so much as disappointed that their relationship had gotten so severed. She seriously doubted now that they would ever be able to resolve whatever was going on. She turned to Halvo with tears in her eyes hoping for some sort of encouragement.

He gave her a sad smile and motioned slightly with his head that they leave.

She nodded as they got up.

Halvo dropped a few bills on the table to cover their drinks and he grabbed her hand as he led her from the bar.

Once they were outside, Chaney grasped tighter to Halvo’s hand as she leaned that side of her body against his arm, taking her other arm and wrapping it around his upper arm.

Halvo released her hand he was holding as he moved that arm to drape around her shoulders.

She moved accordingly, replacing her arms around his torso. His apartment wasn’t far and he walked her to his place. He opened the door as he checked the freezer for ice cream. He sighed in relief to find an unopened pint of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream hidden in the back of the freezer. He grabbed that and a couple of spoons. The smile on his face growing as he saw the menu for “Say Anything” on the TV. As reluctant as he was to watch this movie 99% of the time, he was okay with it this time. He plopped on the couch next to Chaney, letting her get comfortable before opening the ice cream and offering her a spoon.

They ate their ice cream and before the halfway point of the movie, Chaney had already fallen asleep on Halvo’s lap. He didn’t have the heart to move her. He brushed the hair out of her face and could tell how emotionally exhausted she was. Leaning down, he lightly kissed her temple as he turned off the movie and laid his head against the back of the couch to sleep.