Sequel: Black & White
Status: Complete! Check out the sequel Black & White!

...And a Happy New Year

I told you once, I can't do this again

September 14, 2014

“Hey Chaney?” Alex asked from the other side of her door as he lightly knocked on it.

She stirred in her bed, his knocking waking her up from her Sunday morning slumber. “What is it Alex?” she replied groggily, rubbing her eyes as he entered her room.

“Hey, so the Cardinals play today and I was gonna have some of the guys over. Is uh, is that alright?”

She sat up in bed, trying to rid her mind of the sleep fogginess still clouding her mind. “Uh, yeah sure.”

“I’m gonna run to the store to pick up food for this afternoon. Do ya need anything while I’m out?”

She hummed a reply, “No, I’ll uh, I’ll start prepping the place. How many of the guys are coming over?”

Alex looked at the ceiling as he mouthed names and counted on his fingers. “Six or seven? So feel free to ask whoever over. If they like football, or if not, they’re welcome,” he chuckled. “I just don’t want you to feel like the odd man out ya know? See if Stephanie would wanna come over. Might be good for the both of you.” He gave her a soft smile and closed her door behind him as he exited her room.

She ran a lazy hand down her face. Having an apartment full of her brother’s friends wasn’t exactly what she had in mind for today but she would roll along with it. She figured she might give John a call and see if he wanted to come over. She hadn’t really seen him since he took her on a mini road trip a couple weekends prior. Sure they had talked a bit in the meantime, but she had started work again and was catching up on all she missed. John had been practicing with his band and prepping for the last, short stint of tours before they all started working on their new album. She knew seeing him in the coming months would be difficult, but they had somehow mastered the art of keeping in touch and remaining close despite the distance.

She bit her lip and reached over for her phone off her nightstand and pulled up his number, hovering over his contact before finally pressing send. She raked her fingers through her tangled hair as she waited for his reply.

“Chaney?”

“John! How are you!”

He chuckled, “Good, good. How’s it goin with you? How’s work been?”

“Ya know, just work. I never realized how many projects would be brought on in the last couple weeks so I’ve been completely swamped. Sorry I haven’t really been around.”

“No I get it. I’m just glad to see you up and about again. What’s goin on? To what do I owe this pleasure?”

She laughed, biting back her smile. “Well, my brother is inviting some of his friends over to watch the Cards play today, and quite honestly, I don’t wanna be the only girl in this sausage fest--”

“Woah, are you calling me a girl?” he asked, mocking hurt.

“No!” she laughed, quickly realizing her slip up. “I’m just saying, I don’t want to be the lone wolf here. Care to keep me company and join us?”

John let out a defeated sigh. “God, I really wish I could. That sounds like fun, but uh, I’m not in Tempe at the moment,” he responded sheepishly.

“Wait...you’re not? Where the hell are you?” she asked perplexed.

“I uh, the band, we left a couple days ago to start writing before heading overseas.”

“Oh,” she responded quietly. She tried to mask the disappointment in her voice. She was really hoping to spend some time with him before both of their schedules got super hectic at the end of the year.

“Hey, but I promise the moment we get back, we will hang out. You still have pieces to show me.”

She smiled. “Right, and I’m expecting to hear some poetic lines from you Mr. Writer.”

He laughed, “Thank you for that. I’m so happy you’re branching out in your music taste.”

She sighed with a smile, “What can I say?”

“I’m glad my influence is rubbing off on you,” he chuckled. “But hey, I hate to chat and run but uh--”

“No, go ahead, it’s fine. We’ll uh, we’ll talk later. Have a good trip with the guys and tell them all said hello.”

“Ya got it. Go make some masterpieces for me while we’re gone.”

“On my honor,” she chuckled. “See ya John.”

“Bye Van Gogh.”

She hit end on her phone and tossed it on the bed next to her. She let out a breath and looked around the room. She had no idea what time the game started or even what time the guys would be over. However when she looked at her clock and saw that it was almost ten, she quickly jumped out of bed and dashed to get clean clothes and get ready in case any of the guys showed up early. She looked around her closet trying to see if she had any Cardinals garb. She couldn’t remember if she did or not as she was never that into sports. She sighed in relief as her fingers brushed across a faded red shirt that she was thankful to find. It was a jersey-styled v-neck t-shirt that she bought a few years ago when her parents took her and Alex to a game. It was an attempt to have some sort of family outing together since they weren’t exactly that close. The day was a disaster, but she remembered picking up that shirt with her dad before the game started as he insisted they all have something to support the team they were watching.

She smiled at the memory and pulled the shirt off the hanger and grabbed a pair of cuffed blue jean shorts from her dresser along with clean under garments and made her way into the bathroom. She cleaned up and got ready, her outfit simple and basic makeup and a simple ponytail to complete her look. She had no one to impress anymore and was just wanting to get through the day entertaining her brother’s friends. With a sigh, she exited the bathroom and made her way to the living room and kitchen area to make sure everything was in order for company. On the plus side, her brother wasn’t much of a slob so their apartment was almost always clean. She didn’t have to do much other than straightening a few of the books and magazines lying on their coffee table.

She placed her hands on her hip and looked around the living room area to see if she could busy herself or find someway to help get everything ready. Her prayers were answered when Alex came through the door moments later, bags in hand.

“Hey sis, mind helping me cook some of this stuff?”

She smiled and rushed over to him to help take some of the bags to the kitchen and sit on the bar separating the kitchen from the living room.

“Ok, so a couple of the guys are bringing the booze, so we’re covered with drinks. I hope I got the right stuff? To be honest, I’ve never hosted one of these things,” he replied sheepishly.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, trying not to chuckle. “And you think I have?”

He laughed a bit, letting out a nervous breath. “I guess you’re right.”

“It’ll fine Al. Promise. So let’s see what all you have and we’ll go from there alright?”

He nodded and helped her start removing the groceries from the bags as they lined everything up on the counter. Soon enough the entire counter was filled and they both stood there staring at it for a few minutes after unloading the bags.

“Well Alex, were you expecting to feed an army?” she laughed.

“Hey, you’re talking at least 8 guys eating during a football game.”

She bit her lip and nodded, “You make a valid point. Ok, so you’ve got chips. That’s already done. We’ll just pour some of them into a bowl right before the guys start showing up. What time are they showing up?”

“Uh,” he pulled out his phone and checked the time, “shit they’ll be over shortly. The game starts at noon.”

“Noon?! And you’re just now telling me?”

“Hey, I told you I’ve never done these things before…”

Chaney laughed, “Clearly. Ok, well you’ve got some essentials already covered that don’t need preparation.”

“Like?”

She rolled her eyes, “Chips, dip, veggie platters…”

“Well yeah, that much is obvious.”

She playfully scoffed as she brushed past him to start prepping what little food they had. “Ok, so I’ll get the food ready and you start greeting the guys. I’ll get plates and stuff out and start making some real food here,” she laughed.

“Fine, fine. There’s some hot dogs so if you wouldn’t mind cooking those…”

She waved him off, “No worries, I’ve got it. Go greet your friends.”

He walked over planting a kiss on her cheek before heading to the living room. He turned on the TV when someone knocked on the door.

Chaney smiled as she moved to make herself scarce as she began to lay out the food.

“Yo Chaney, wanna introduce you to a couple of the guys.”

She looked over her shoulder and quickly finished setting out the chips and dips before walking out to the living room.

“Chane, this is Peter, Tim, and Max.”

She greeted them with smiles, stopping slightly at Tim as she looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. “You look familar…have I met you before?”

Tim laughed heartily, “No, but you’ve probably met my brother, Pat.”

She racked her brain until her mind wandered to the long-haired drummer in John’s band that she had indeed met a handful of times. Her eyes widened at the realization, mouth slightly agape as she tried to wrap her mind around how small of a world it was.

“Oh! Wow, I wouldn’t have ever put that together…” she mused.

“Don’t worry about it. Despite being brothers, we don’t look that much alike. I mean, his hair and my beard tend to throw a lot of people off,” he chuckled.

She nodded in agreement. “Ok, so answer me this, because this is all too ‘small world’ for me; how do y’all know Alex?”

Peter then spoke up, “We met him at one of our guy’s nights a few months ago. Halvo brought him over.”

Chaney’s heart sank at his name. She tried to act like it didn’t bother her, and forced a smile. “Well that’s nice. You guys have fun. I’m going to finish getting everything ready.”

She made her way to the kitchen, her back to the living room as she leaned over the sink and gripped the edge of the counter. Her breathing was staggered as she internally freaked out.

“So, Halvo’s friends are here and are going to be here. Halvo’s friends are Alex’s friends. That’s no reason to freak out. He may not even show up,” she muttered to herself. She tried to calm herself down. Alex still had no idea what happened between the two of them a few weeks ago. John was essentially the only other one that knew unless he told somebody. She shook it off, she had nothing to worry about. She hadn’t heard Alex mention anything about the boy. She would just be helping entertain his friends. Not him himself. She took a deep breath and turned to start cooking the hot dogs.

More guys had come in and Alex had introduced her to them. She was still working on remembering everyone’s name. She had a living room full of guys she’d never met before and learning names had never been a strong suit of hers. She finished cooking the hot dogs and set them out on a plate. She grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and went to join the rest of the guys in the living room. Sure she didn’t have any of her friends there and she wasn’t a huge fan of football, however she wanted to befriend her brother’s buddies if she could. She liked them so far and felt like she could really get along with them.

When she gathered them, the game was still in the first quarter, so she hadn’t missed much of the game. The guys had all left her the giant cushioned chair adjacent to the couch and she appreciated the gesture, appreciating not having to sit on the floor. She curled her feet up into the chair and was nursing her beer and conversing with the guys during commercial breaks. She was having fun cutting up with the guys and she quickly found out that all of the guys were part of The Maine’s crew in some respect. She felt like she was slowly becoming part of this family that was larger than herself. She could feel the camaraderie that emanated from each of them.

It had reached half time and a few of the guys were in the middle of telling some crazy story from tour. Chaney had been curled up in her chair laughing at the ridiculous story when the door unexpectedly opened.

All eyes turned to the door when Halvo walked in, a case of beer in tote. “Hey guys sorry I’m late, I had to--”

He stopped the moment he saw Chaney sitting in the chair. He wasn’t expecting to see her there. He knew it was her apartment, but he knew how much she detested sports, especially football, so to see her there was a shock. His heart beat wildly in his chest as this was the first contact he’d had with her since the day she broke things off with him. He hadn’t seen or talked to her. It was killing him. But seeing her there, now, he couldn’t fight the rush of feelings that coursed through him.

Chaney thickly swallowed, her eyes wide as she tried to control her breathing. Seeing him standing in the living room, she wouldn’t deny how good he looked. This had been the longest she had ever gone without seeing or talking to him. Sure, when he was gone on tour it was longer than a month, but they would video chat and facetime so it never felt like she wasn’t “seeing” him. However she instantly noticed the little changes in his appearance; the first, and most notable to her, being the slight pudge in his belly firming up. She never admitted to him or anyone else, but she adored the slight pudge and found it unusually adorable. She loved to tease him about it all the time and would often attribute it to his frequent beer drinking.

She hadn’t realized the thick tension that now encompassed the room as she cleared her throat and made her way to the kitchen. She was going to find a way to busy herself so long as Halvo was there. She just wasn’t ready to see him quite yet. Even though it had been a month and she still missed him, she still was trying to sort through her feelings. A the end of the day, he betrayed her trust. He lied to her for sixth months and deceived her into thinking nothing was wrong and that her best girl friend was missing. She got up from her chair and made her way back to the kitchen. She figured she would make sure the food was well stocked and maybe find something else to make.

Halvo watched as she made her way into the kitchen and started busying herself. With a slight frown and defeated sigh he moved to sit in the chair she was previously occupying. He set the case of beer he was carrying on the floor next to him and greeted the guys. The game just came back on and they continued to watch and cheer on their team.

Chaney grabbed supplies from the cabinets and decided to make cookies. She figured it would waste enough time to keep her occupied for most of the game. Not that she cared, but she could still see the game from the kitchen if she were interested. She got out her mixing bowl, wooden spoon, and measuring spoons and began to start mixing her dry ingredients together.

She had been in her own world, mixing the dough for her cookies when she heard someone clear their throat from behind her. She quickly turned around to find Halvo standing behind her with a sheepish look on his face. She had to turn back around to face her mixing bowl because otherwise she would give in to his pouty face and she wasn’t ready to forgive him just yet. She still needed time to process.

“Chaney?”

She didn’t answer and kept mixing the dough.

“Listen, I get that you don’t wanna see me right now, but I just wanted to say I miss you.”

She stopped mixing, closed her eyes tightly and turned her head down, a deep sigh escaping her lips. She felt his presence grow nearer to her until she felt his breath lightly hitting the back of her neck, causing the hair on her neck to stand up. It unnerved her that he still had that effect on her.

“I still love you and meant every word I said then as much now as I did then,” he whispered, his breath now hitting the shell of her ear. He leaned his head against the side of her head and then left a lingering kiss on her cheek before stepping away.

“I told you, I can’t do this,” she whispered on the verge of tears.

Hearing her voice stopped him in his tracks and caused him to turn around.

“Ind-Chaney, if I knew that there was even the slightest chance that you may one day change your mind about me, I would wait.”

She quickly turned her head towards him to see the sincerity of his words reflected in his eyes. She felt her eyes start to well up and she tried to push these feelings away that were starting to build up inside of her.

“Halv...I--”

He gave her a sad smile and went back to rejoin the guys in the living room.

She ran a shaky hand through her hair. She was now too distracted to finish making her cookies. The dough was ready to be baked, but the apartment suddenly felt too crowded and she needed to get out. She covered her bowl and set it in the fridge. She grabbed a goblet and a bottle of wine she had been chilling in the fridge and went to sit outside on the landing outside of the kitchen.

She slowly drank the bottle of wine, losing track of time and being so consumed in her thoughts about the exchange with Halvo she had in the kitchen. She would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that her feelings about Halvo never went away. She still loved him, but she couldn’t bare to be around him. Every thought of him brought on another sip of wine. One sip turned into a glass, which eventually turned into the entire bottle of wine. When she eventually ran out, she sighed in defeat and continued to sit in the chair on the landing and look out at the city around her.

The door to the kitchen opening shook her from her thoughts as she now realized it was dark outside and she essentially had only had a bottle of beer and a bottle of wine today. She knew she would be miserable at work tomorrow, but pushed that aside as she saw Alex come outside and take a seat beside her.

“Is everything alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” she slurred slightly.

Alex chuckled, “Oh I don’t know, maybe because you became antisocial the moment Halvo walked through the door,” he pointed out with a knowing glare.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I did no such thing.”

“Chaney…”

“Ugh, fine. But you could have at least told me that he was coming over,” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“He’s your best friend. I thought you’d be thrilled he’d be coming over.”

She shot him a look from her peripheral vision and sighed. “I guess it’s not your fault. I never did tell you anyway.”

“Tell me what?” he asked, now growing concerned as he sat up more in his seat and turned his full attention to his sister.

“Well, Halvo and I aren’t exactly on the best of terms right now,” she chuckled bitterly. She went to grab her wine glass only to remember that she had long since emptied it and now wished for another bottle.

“What did he do?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” she stated as she started to gather her stuff and stand up. “I’m gonna go to bed, sleep off the alcohol,” she chuckled as she held up the now empty wine bottle. “See ya in the morning kid.” She then placed a small kiss on the crown of his head, ruffling his hair with her free hand before setting both the bottle and glass in the sink. She was happy to see that Alex had cleaned and put up the food from earlier and with a, somewhat, content sight, made her way to her room.

She shut her door behind her and quickly shed her shirt and shorts, grabbing one of the large t-shirts she had stashed in her drawer. Not bothering to turn on the light, she didn’t know what shirt she grabbed, but didn’t care as she slipped it over her body before collapsing onto her bed. The alcohol was still stirring in her system, making her body feel lethargic and warm. She snuggled into her blankets, the familiar smell invading her senses as she drifted off to sleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
Wow...I officially suck. It's been almost two weeks since I last updated. I swear I'm trying so hard to update this as much as possible. I'm sorry if these all seem so...lackluster for lack of a better term. Work is killing me right now.

Serious question though for those faithful few that continue to read this:
I've been wrestling with the idea of potentially continuing this story after the new year...this story ends December 31st, but if I were to say, write a sequel, would anyone be interested in it? I have a few rough ideas already and it's not set in stone yet. Would anyone be interested in the continuation of this story? Or is the one year enough? I'll tell you right now it will take place in the future, not present day, so it won't be in the same vein that this one was. Any interest? If so, I'll start doing some major outlining and story plotting. Otherwise, this story ends when the year does. :)

Awesome reads to check out:
- Like We Used To
- Everything is Everything
- Stealing Glances
- You Have My Attention
- It's a Start
- Forlorn Figures
- La La La
- Keep It Simple
Co-writes:
- She's Killing Me (with WhiskeyPrincess118)
- Keep On Going (with dreamingyouhere)

Replies:
princewentz: ya know, I may be a bit bias, but I do too. haha. She has been through a lot, but I can tell you this much, she does end the year happily. Who with is the question ;)

dreamingyouhere: I feel ya. But does this change your feelings towards Halvo or no? WHat do you think it'll take for him to redeem himself, if he's ever able to redeem himself?

lovelyhope: yeah...sorry about that... :/ It was necessary though. Hope that doesn't deter you from the rest of this story...