Aspen County

Knowing that they won't do anything until I admit that Zeeva is in charge now and that I was stupid, short-sighted, and wrong, I quickly comply and briefly recount the events since I left them, confessing that I called my brother when I began to lose hope but not that I had seen him during the summer. Satisfied with my response, they take me to the motel that they had booked a few rooms in, but we all find ourselves in the room that Zeeva and Eyulf share.

"So you know where they are?" Eyulf confirms.

I nod. "The cabby said that he took them to a place called Aspen County."

Eyulf seems to be lost in thought. "If we can get to a place with Wi-Fi, I might be able to find it. I won't lie to you—it'll be a long shot, but it's the only thing we've got right now short of assaulting that cabby again."

"Let's go then," I say enthusiastically, standing. Zeeva raises her eyebrow, and I remember my place. I sit back down next to Nox, giving her my best apologetic eyes. "Sorry," I mutter.

She laughs softly. "Rudi, you take Eyulf and Ryder to the nearest library to see if you guys can find anything. While you're out, can you guys pick up some food?" We nod and hurry towards the door. Zeeva walks out with us, but she stops me as the other two climb down the stairs to the van. Discreetly, she hands me a few quarters.

I nod with understanding before clambering down the stairs after the others.
* * * * *
"So where did you guys get a van?" I ask as we get close to the nearest library according to the G.P.S. in the dashboard.

"You're forgetting, Ryder. I know as much about cars as I do hair. This guy didn't leave it unlocked, but my dad taught me a few tricks for getting into cars that are locked. Thankfully no alarms went off, and we were able to grab it and go. We camped outside the precinct last night to make sure we didn't miss you."

"Yeah, about that, try not to get arrested again," Eyulf pleads playfully from the back. "We really don't want to go on another jailbreak. Although I will say that I'm a little concerned—Nox seemed to be a little bit too excited."

"He's just never done anything crazy like that," Rudi rationalizes dismissively. 

"What are you talking about?" Eyulf refutes. "Three weeks ago, we were on the run from crazy hunters who wanted us dead. If that doesn't get his adrenaline pumping, I don't know what will." 

Rudi raises her eyebrows mischievously as we pull in in front of the public library. She glances between her seat and mine to look at Eyulf. "I do." She winks as his face dawns with understanding, and we get out of the car.

I admit to myself that I'm a little jealous of my friends as we file into the library. Rudi and Eyulf are both still with their mates, and Rudi's little joke just confirms that Nox lets her do what Louve won't let me. I understand her anxiety, but I love her, and I just want to be able to be with her in every way possible. 

Seeming to sense my longing thoughts, Rudi squeezes my arm sympathetically. "Don't worry, we'll find them," she assures me as we make our way to the young librarian to ask if we can use the computers. Having left Zeeva behind, Eyulf and I allow Rudi to schmooze her in our mission to find the love of my life.

After a bit of expected resistance, she gives in, offering us five minutes. As soon as the ancient machine boots up and Eyulf accesses the Internet, his fingers begin gliding across the keys. Despite my desire to stay and witness his attempts to find Louve, I know that I'm useless, and I decide to obey Zeeva's silent orders. I slip outside and find a payphone a block away from the library. Slipping some change into it, I dial my home number again. This time, Robin answers. 

"Ryder, is this you again?" he demands hostilely.

"Yes," I confess. "I'm not coming back."

"Enlighten me on the technique you used to weasel your way out of this one."

"I swallowed my pride and asked my friends—my new family—for help."

"Do they know who you truly are?"

"They know who I was, and they know that I'm not that person anymore, and they accept me for the person that I am today. That's all that matters."

"I can't believe you managed to trick another group of people into doing your bidding. Bravo, little brother."

"Look, Robin, I'm sorry that you were kidnapped because of me, and I'm sorry that I was such a rotten brother and person all those years. I hate the person I used to be. Believe it or not, but when I think about what an idiot I used to be, I always wish I had been a bit more like you. The smart, well-behaved, put-together person that you are. But if I had been more like you, I'd still be under mom's thumb, I'd still be back at the old neighborhood, and I never would have met Louve. So I'm happy with the man I've become. I just wish you could've seen me become him."

"Do you need anything else, Ryder?" Robin asks coldly.

I sigh. "Well—"

I'm suddenly interrupted by a robotic woman's voice saying, "Please insert 50 cents for the next two minutes. Thank you." 

Frustrated, I hang up, knowing Robin doesn't care what else I had to say. I turn and begin walking back to the library. As I approach, Rudi and Eyulf are making their exit, and their sad, disheartened eyes tell me all I need to know.

"Ryder, I tried," Eyulf says without pretense. His voice is almost pleading. "There's just no record of any Aspen County in the state of Michigan. But that doesn't mean that we'll give up." 

"We just have to try harder," Rudi adds gently.

I don't answer them. I just turn to the van, getting into the passenger seat and waiting for my friends. I see them exchange a concerned look out of the corner of my eye before they follow suit. The nearest place to us is a Burger King, so we stop there. Knowing we have to get rid of this van, Eyulf goes inside while Rudi breaks into a 7-seating SUV with me keeping watch. Unfortunately, this one does have an alarm, so Eyulf hurries out of the Burger King, diving into the car and slamming the door shut as Rudi expertly hot wires the car in record time and speeds off before the owner can come out to yell at us. 

The cops are soon in pursuit, and we lead them on a high-speed chase until we get close to the motel. A few blocks shy of it, we ditch the car and cover the rest of the ground on foot, staying behind buildings as we do so. 

Miraculously, we make it back to the motel in one piece and, panting heavily, bang on the door for the others to let us in.

"What happened to you guys?" Zeeva demands when she opens the door, ushering us inside as she takes in our disheveled state. She seems to be conflicted over whether to be more concerned for Eyulf or for me.

"We aren't stealing anymore cars for a while," I mutter between pants.

Sighing, Zeeva takes the bags of food that we had somehow remembered to grab and begins distributing it out. "So did you guys find anything?" she asks between fries.

I sigh and shake my head. "Any ideas?" I ask hopefully.

"I've got one, but I'm not sure how well it'll go."

"We're going to the cab company?" I ask calmly to which Zeeva nods. "Okay."

'Our first attempt failed,' I admit to Louve. 'But we still have a plan B, and if worse comes to worse, a plan C can be conceived. I will find you, no matter what. I love you.'
* * * * *
Zeeva and I step out into the cool, late autumn air nipping at us. I can tell that it'll be starting to snow sometime soon. She stops me before we can begin walking down the stairs. Having switched motels after our failed car theft, we're now slightly closer to the cab company's building, but it's still a decent walk.

"Ryder, are you sure you can do this?" she asks.

I nod.

"I'm serious. Based on what you told us, the stuff that went down was not good. I need to be sure that I'm not taking a ticking time bomb into there with me."

"I've got it under control. If I get angry, I'll walk out," I assure her. "Just worry about them trying to hurt us."

Still not looking very reassured, Zeeva nods, and I lead her through the chilly streets. We try staying as shadowed as possible, not wanting for any cops to notice me or for any citizens to recognize me from the news. When we get to the shady part of town that the cab company is set up it, I instinctively and protectively move a little closer to Zeeva. She cocks an eyebrow and glances up at me in surprise but remains silent.

I take a deep, calming breath before Zeeva and I walk into the building together, the crisp air from outside drying my throat. The same girl from last week sits behind the desk again, but today, she looks up. Recognition crashes over her immediately, and she yelps as her phone, a new iPhone, plummets from her trembling hands as her feet jump down from the desk.

Zeeva leaves me at the archway, steadily walking forward with her hands held out in front of her to comfort the secretary. "We're not going to hurt you," she says gently. "My friend lost control of his temper and wasn't thinking. But we do really have to find our friends; they're currently in danger from themselves, and they need us right now. Please just let us speak to your driver. We just need five minutes."

"Lost control of his temper? That's one way to describe it! He's the one who needs help—the psychological kind!" Her voice is shrill and terrified. "Look, even if I wanted to let you see Tim, I can't. He's in the hospital right now for what you did to him." She points at me, backing away slowly. "I was assured he'd been arrested—he needs to go back!" She snatches her phone off of the desk, checking it quickly for scratches from dropping it, and begins dialing.

Realizing that she's probably calling the cops on us, Zeeva quickly backs out of the office, tugging me along by my arm before I can protest. "Thank you for your time!" she calls as we jog out into the sun. We retrace our steps quickly back to the motel, not wanting to stick around in case the girl completed the call and reported our appearance.

A few blocks before we arrive at the new motel, we slow down, and Zeeva shakes her head. "Ryder, what did you do to that man?" she groans, massaging her temples.

Ashamed, I look down at me feet. For some reason, I really don't want Zeeva to be ashamed of me. "I'd rather not say," I mutter.

"Look, we'll do everything we can to find them—you know that we will—but this is really going to set us back."

"I know," I sigh, not needing to be reminded about how royally I screwed up.

She rubs my arm sympathetically, keeping her other hand in her pocket. "Then why did you do it?" she asks with empathetic frustration.

I shrug. "Anger and violence are all I knew for most of my life, and it always got me what I wanted or needed. I'll do anything for Louve, even if it means being…that person again. I hate being him, but he gets shit done when I need him to."

"He didn't seem to be very helpful this time," she snaps, not quite angrily but definitely frustrated. We walk in silence for a few moments before she keeps talking. "Maybe he worked for you before when you needed him, but now you have us, and we'll protect you. Let him go, Ryder. You don't need him anymore—you just need us. Your family."

I nod and we continue walking as I contemplate letting go of who I used to be. It should be easy. Like Zeeva said: I just need to stop being angry. That'll get rid of the remnants of who I used to be. I haven't needed that anger very much over the past few years, not when I have Louve. Granted, I have been trying to get rid of him for almost three years, but for most of that time, I only had feelings for her back then. Now I actually have something to lose.

But that anger is a part of me; it's who I am. I don't know who I'd be without it. I never would have rebelled like I did or done anything that led me to the woods that night if I wasn't always so angry. I never would have met Louve if I didn't have the anger.

I can't get rid of the anger—I don't want to. I just have to learn how to control it.

After all, how hard can it be?
* * * * *
"We're running out of options, guys," Zeeva says back in the motel room as the others stare at us from their lounging positions. "Obviously, they're ignoring projection, Aspen County doesn't exist on any map of Michigan, and even if our only lead wasn't in a hospital, the cab company won't talk to us." Everyone glances at me accusatorily, and I shrug defensively. "What do you guys propose we do?"

"Is there maybe something in a newspaper about the driver that may say what hospital he's in?" Nyx asks, lying on her stomach next to her brother.

"Even if we found out where he is, that's a high-security location," Rudi argues apathetically. "If we got caught, we would be inevitably arrested on the spot or grabbed by a security officer and reported to the cops, especially with the fake IDs that that guy Kain gave us. Even if we somehow managed to get to this guy's room, he would no doubt call security as soon as we mention Louve and Lovett—he'll probably be terrified that we'll sic Ryder on him again.

"Even if we get into the hospital without a hitch, there's the fact that Eyulf and I are probably wanted for car theft, Nox is wanted for breaking Ryder out of the jail van, and Ryder is wanted for just about every crime that he's ever committed, and that's a long freaking list. So in conclusion, I don't think that walking into a government facility is the smartest option right now."

"Thank you for the sarcasm, Rudi," Zeeva exclaims curtly. "Does anybody else have any ideas?" Rudi grumbles at the way that Zeeva enunciates the word 'else,' but everyone ignores her.

"Well we could use the news," Eyulf suggests, going for a different approach than his former mate to answer Nyx's question. "It's likely that the crazy, convicted, fugitive teenager Ryder Adams and his innocent victim of rage will be all over the place."

"Remind me to never ask you for a pick-me-up," I mutter sarcastically.

"Look, it's true, and you know it. It's probably all over the papers today that you escaped and are going to go after this guy. Likely, they will at least show pictures of him. Maybe there'll be some information about when he'll be discharged from the hospital or at least where he's being taken care of. If we can find out where he is, we'll wait until he's released and follow him home from the hospital. Then, Zeeva can knock on the door—alone—and talk to him."

"And if there's no date or pictures in the papers?" I ask solemnly. "I'm the only one who knows what that stupid cabby looks like, and as Rudi so kindly pointed out, I can't exactly just walk into a hospital right now."

"Then we'll figure something else out," Eyulf retorts. "Why don't I just run over to the check-in desk? They probably have newspapers down there about you and this guy."

"I don't think that that's such a great idea," Zeeva intervenes when he stands and moves towards the door. "Like Rudi said, you may be wanted too. I'll go."

We nod and wait as she disappears and reappears a few minutes later, looking nervous. She's hiding a crumpled and torn up newspaper clipping behind her back. "I got it—it's just a blurb from this morning's paper—and you guys are not going to like what they say in here." She sighs at our expectant faces and sits on the desk. Eyulf rubs her leg comfortingly, and I again feel a twinge of jealousy.

"'After assaulting cab driver Timothy Divern last week, career criminal Ryder Adams, 17, escaped custody yesterday with the help of an unidentified accomplice while being moved to the Boyne Mountain Airport to be transferred to Burleigh, Pennsylvania to face prior charges.

"'Adams was later spotted outside of a Burger King assisting fugitives Rudi Baldouf, 17, and Eyulf Ulven, 18, in the theft and later disposal of a motor vehicle. Baldouf was witnessed murduring a classmate in December 2010 in Shinglehouse, Pennsylvania before disappearing. Ulven was accused in June 2009 in Norway of murdering his father, but he disappeared before being charged with the crime. Before dying, his father accused him on multiple occasions of poisoning his mother.

"'These four teenagers are dangerous fugitives, and it is being currently speculated that they are not working alone. It is advised to not directly approach them. If you have any information on their location please report it to the police immediately.'"

After Zeeva finishes, we're all kind of silent for a minute, absorbing the fact that four out of six of us are wanted criminals, and people will know exactly what we look like. Zeeva finally breaks the silence with more bad news. "They included a hotline underneath that people can call if they think they've seen any of you guys or have any information. They also put pictures. Ryder, it has your mug shot—an old one from the looks of it—there's a driver's license picture for you, Rudi, they have an actual, albeit grainy, camera shot of you, Eyulf, and Nox, it just looks like a drawn picture was submitted of you."

"I can't believe that they'd use my old mug shot!" I snatch the clipping away from her. They created a kind of diamond out of the pictures around the blurb with my picture at the top, Rudi and Eyulf's pictures flanking it, and Nox's picture at the bottom. Unfortunately, the police sketch is really accurate. "Look how fat I used to be!" I shake my head incredulously as Zeeva violently takes the paper away from me, rolling her eyes.

"Good. That'll make it that much harder for people to determine that it's you." She sighs, letting Eyulf take the clipping and look at it. "They must've remembered that you two used to be wanted for murder and just pulled up your files."

"Yeah," I agree, thinking about how they could've been certain it was Rudi and Eyulf with me. "The Burger King's cameras would have caught Eyulf, and I saw a gas station nearby that probably caught Rudi and I stealing the car. Plus, there were three cops in the van with me that could've identified Nox; furthermore, I'm pretty sure that they have cameras in there, and Nox paused in the doorway, so the cops would have gotten a pretty good look at him. Besides, teenagers naturally raise suspicion in America. It's just the simple fact of life."

"Well that's wonderful. Now that we know that no one will ever trust us and how they probably figured out who you guys are, how are we going to find Louve and Lovett?" Zeeva inquires, sounding tired and frustrated.

I sigh and let my head droop as my hands rush up to meet it. "I have no idea," I admit, defeated.

Nox's hand claps comfortingly on my back.