Suffocate

It was daunting straight away. Not a long walk, but we went down the elevator, across the lobby and down another, huge gaps in the ceiling that I could see the sky through. And some of the spectators who called.

But then the carriages came into view, quite a few people were here already, victors and mentors and I felt something in my neck twitch nervously.

Thinking of doing this when it was just Finnick and I was one thing, seeing them all was very much another.

Several people turned to face us and I felt my skin grow hot under the layer of make-up. I hated being stared at. “Afternoon.” A curt voice rang, appearing from behind a carriage, Finnick managed a far better smile for her than I did.

“Nice day isn’t it?” He replied, watching her face curl.

“My dream.” Any good hint of temper dropped and she crossed her arms, tugging at her sleek pony tail, “What the fuck are either of you supposed to be?”

“I have no idea.” Finnick breezed whilst I managed to squeak a weak “Fish.” Under her glare. Her carefully painted eyebrows lifted, “Oh, so you speak now then do you?”

“Johanna...” Finnick warned the cruel expression dropped.

“No, it’s good!” She back peddled, moving closer over, “And about time.” She shot me a rare smile that made me want to shrink back although I didn’t, standing my ground as best I could.

“I suppose it is.” I replied carefully, feeling the waver in my voice. “No time to waste right?” Her head titled to the side like I was suddenly the most interested thing she had even seen but she shook me off.

“You see it was Blight that came with me?” She spun back to Finnick, drawing only him into further conversation, Mags patting my back lightly as if to tell me I had done a good job.

“Don’t patronise me Mags.” I complained, although I very gently removed her hand, “Plenty of other people to speak to.”

Finnick moved further into the growing group of people and I trailed with Mags behind him, several people offering a soft hello, more than a few looking surprised that I responded.

I suppose they had every right to be, but it was still odd to see their faces change like that.

“Someone’s been playing career then?” I twisted, I’d lost Mags to Beetee and Wiress, though I had no idea how the hell they’d hold a conversation.

“Sorry?” Enobaria grinned at me, baring those golden dipped fangs. Brutus and another former victor from Two, Lukio were behind her and sauntered over.

I swallowed, hoping it wasn’t obvious how intimidating I found all of them.

“I haven’t been playing anything.” I lied, training before the games was against the rules, and I didn’t want anyone to find out and make it harder for us.

“Sure you have.” Brutus smiled, “You look a lot healthier, last year it looked like a bit of wind would blow you away.” He’d moved to one side.

Enobaria was about my height but I felt a lot smaller with her in front of me. “Nice costume as well.” Lukio commented, smirking, leaning against the closest carriage.

“L..Luine will be glad to hear people like it.” I stumbled.

“And she talks now too!” Enobaria laughed loudly and falsely, catching people’s attention, “That’s definitely new.”

“I try my best.” I answered, sarcasm to hide my discomfort. She bared her teeth at me again.

“We’ll see once we’re in there won’t we? Although I’m not sure you’ll be able to go about it the same way as before, don’t think we’re going to fall at your feet.”

“ I d..didn’t..” I stammered, the three had moved closer. I knew exactly what they were trying to do, intimidate me, get in my head. And it was working. I took a careful step back, glad my dress was long enough that Luine had let me get away with flat shoes.

“You just see how long Finnick stays loyal once you’re in there sweetie.” She pouted, acting all concerned.

“I think we’ll be fine.” I found a bit of venom in my words, “I’d be more wary of him.”

I glanced at Brutus who looked offended for a split second, he had no reason to, what I had said was perfectly true. Even so him and Lukio burst out laughing as if I had made some hilarious joke.

“You won’t be there long enough to worry about that honey.” Brutus kept that villainous smile, placing his hand heavily on my shoulder so the area burnt.

“Alright gentlemen, let’s leave her alone yeah?” Another voice broke through, one I was far more comfortable being around and his body appeared soon after. The imposing mass separating me from District Two and gently taking my wrist, muttering words that sounded harsh to Lukio as we broke free.

“They bother you too much?” I shook my head, quickly pulled into a firm hug by the other victor, who just so happened to be his sister.

I’d never held any doubt that elements of the games were staged. What else would help ratings but the brother and sister duo who may be forced to fight to the death and who had originally been reaped one year after the other?

That and with the couple from Twelve there would be a lot of conflict and emotions for the audience to pin onto. The more emotional turmoil, the better the games to them.

“What were they saying?” Cashmere asked, releasing me and glaring around me.

“Nothing much, just trying to scare me.” I offered, her eyes widening a little, “Y..yeah, I’m talking more now..can we not...”

“Of course not.” She mused, “We wanted to speak to you actually.” I was tugged further towards their carriage, “That was stupid, volunteering for the old woman.”

“Mags.” I cut in, venom, “She has a name.”

Gloss rolled his eyes, “And if you’d let her you wouldn’t be in here.”

“No, I’d just be watching her die on TV.” I bit and Cashmere pursed her plump lips.

“Fine. We just hope you know what you’re doing.” She stood on her tiptoes, looking over me and spotting someone, “We better go, see you in training, and don’t let either of those two get to you. It’s not worth it.”

“Won’t stop you allying with them though will it?” I asked carefully as they both started to retreat.

“Definitely not.” Gloss replied simply, waving me goodbye and leaving me frowning.

It was nice of them to defend me but pointless. They had mentored last year and the one before, taking over from older victors and they had always been perfectly nice to me, even if they got nothing in reply.

I knew originally it was down to Tyger, all of that.

My hands felt like they were coated in blood just at the thought and I gasped, wiping them on the hips of my dress, but it left no deep red marks, just nervous sweat.

I took a long unsteady breath.

I couldn’t bare to talk to anybody else, and we had to be starting soon so I looked out for Finnick, seeing Mags walk off with the mentors from Three before I spotted him, standing very close to the ‘Girl on Fire’.

I hoped that wasn’t his technique, from what I had gathered from her she was quite cold, excluding the moment with the young girl from Eleven, what was it, Rue?

I walked over anyway, Finnick noticing me and spinning without missing a beat. “Sugar cube?” I shrugged taking one.

“Where did you get these from?”

My stomach was twisting and I felt tired, so sugar was bound to help and he watched me pop it into my mouth, “I have my ways.” I snorted, crunching it up and remaining quiet as they went back to their conversation, Katniss sending uncomfortable glances my way at his low words.

She definitely wasn’t normal in that way, most people with someone like Finnick so close would practically have swooned.

I frowned because I was one of them, how pathetic did that make me?

But then he was trying now, it worked a treat on the Capitol but knowing him away from here he was trying too hard, pushing her just a little too much.

I never realised how much I hated how he acted in the Capitol before.
But was that just jealousy bubbling in my gut?

“I’m sorry you had to cancel your wedding, I know how devastating that must be for you.” I rolled my eyes, smiling awkwardly at Peeta as he drew up with Cinna.

Watching in my now less usual silence as Finnick told Katniss to “Have a good day.” and nodded cockily at Peeta before trundling off, without me yet again.

I got it was the character he’d developed to deal with all of this but I wasn’t a fan of it, especially not now.

I guess I'd been more immune to it beforehand.

And he had never for a second been like it with me.

“Sorry.” I breathed, turning on the balls of my feet with nothing else to and following after him as I seemed to spend most of my life doing, my arm snatched tight by Johanna. “Something happened didn’t it?”

“Like what?” She dropped me and shrugged, eyes narrowed, “Cool...well I’m going to go...”

“Whatever,” She breathed, “Any idea where Blight is?” I shook my head and she rolled her eyes as if it was my fault her drunken partner had wandered off, “See you later.” I finished even though she was ignoring me and vanished. Leaving me heading to where Finnick was, getting ready to board the carriage.

“What was that with Katniss?” I asked, accepting another sugar cube and crunching it apart easily. An announcement rang out for us to board the carriage and he hopped up, offering me a hand and straightening the back of my dress gently so my whole body fizzled again, “Coming on a bit strong weren’t you?”

“Jealous?” He tossed a sugar cube on the floor and I glared watching it smash into tiny fragments.

“Don’t do that. Don’t be like that in front of me.” I huffed, fluffing up my hair where the heavy curls were already falling flat.

“Just trying to work her out.” He replied stiffly and I could feel his eyes on me.

“Well obviously that was the wrong way.” He put his hand over mine quickly, claws in the front of the carriage, before returning it to his body.

“But she’ll be talking about it.”

I took a step back onto the marked cross on the wood, fiddling with my dress again and pulling it further up my chest so I felt less exposed, “How are we doing this?” I asked, pretending I wasn’t angry at him.

“Depends on the reaction.” I snorted, he’d never got a negative reaction in his life, “Just look happy.”

He shrugged, smiling at me until I could nothing but send him one back, “That’s better.” His hand lifted to graze my cheek and I let it for a second, before shrugging him away. “Quit it Finnick.”

I made my voice a little harder than I wanted, feeling Beetee’s eyes on us as the carriages finally began to move, and the roars from outside grew loud as we broke out, the sunlight hurting my eyes a little from how bright it was.

The side of the wide path was spotted with drummers before the colourful audience. I felt a nudge and looked around, smiling so widely for so long it hurt my face, my hand moving ever so often. We started looping around in front of Snow, and by that time one name being chanted had overtaken all the others.

“Katniss, Katniss.” I sung under my breath to Finnick who smirked, dropping his hand as we moved into position, waiting for Snows speech to finish. I barely listened, every word from his mouth was poison, figuratively and literally from what Finnick had told me.

It made me shiver, and I stared hard at the podium just below him until it was done and the carriages turned around, again to a great applause and we ended up back in the remake centre. My body flooded with adrenalin.

I couldn't tell if it was from the rush of the crowd or the dread that tomorrow was the first day of training.

“Well, that was fun.” Finnick said loudly before anyone else had really spoken, hoping down and again offering me his hand. “Where’s Mags?” I asked, glancing down before spotting her close to Haymitch.

I went to tell him but he was already back to the ‘Capitol Finnick’ so I left him to flirt with whoever, smiling at the two as I reached them, Mags quickly waving at me and vanishing with no explanation. It grew awkward between Haymitch and I instantly, we'd never spoke before but thankfully Seeder and Chaff joined us.

“Hey you,” Seeder offered gently, “How you doing?”

“Fine thankyou.” I replied overly polite, “Yourself?”

She pulled a face, “You know...” I nodded, not asking anymore. I didn’t have too. “What you did for Mags,” she’d moved away from Chaff and Haymitch a few steps but I was instantly the centre of the small groups attention, “That was really brave sweetie.”

“Or really stupid.” Haymitch broke in, smiling a little to let me know he wasn’t completely serious.

“It was pretty stupid.” I let my eyes fall to the floor, unable to disguise that after today I was regretting it more than I felt was right, only lifting them when Haymitch addressed someone and the two lovestruck teenagers from District Twelve walked over.

“We learnt from the best.” Her reply was still just as cold as it had been with Finnick.

“Well, I want you to meet some special friends of mine,” I almost slipped away until he said my name, keeping me stuck in my position and acknowledging them properly, “Elenia from District Four, Seeder and Chaff, from District Eleven.” Chaff pushed himself forward, pressing his lips forcefully against Katniss.

The look on her face caused a laugh to build in my stomach I swallowed back down hard, I couldn’t offend her, not if we wanted an alliance.

Not that I even understood why Haymitch would introduce me as a friend, let alone give the impression we were close. There was some game in his words.

The two men beamed and I rolled my eyes, taking the chance to head towards a lift but again being snared by Johanna, “Well, that wasn’t too painful.” She complained, kicking off her shoes and leaving them close to the black wall, “Where did Finnick go?”

“To bother someone else probably.” I replied, her catching my hand and dragging me into a closing elevator just around the corner, leaving us with Haymitch and the couple again. I smiled with my lips closed and leant against the glass.

“I was just saying to Elenia,” Johanna started, a lie in itself, “That you guys look amazing, my stylist is such an idiot! Our tributes have been trees for forty years under her. Wish I’d gotten Cinna. Or even Luine of all people!” I lifted a brow as she looked at me, throwing the headpiece onto the floor, “I’d love to put my axe in her face.”

Haymitch met my eye-line and rolled his slightly as we let her rant, undressing further until she was entirely naked, her dress a rumpled pile in the corner. She had even dared to ask Peeta to unzip it.

But he was a teenage boy, stuck with a girl who obviously had little in the way of true feelings towards him so the grin on his face wasn't at all unexpected. Haymith still held one.

If I could really see that in two short encounters that Katniss clearly didn't hold the feelings she was supposed to I didn’t get how everyone else was buying it.

The elevator stopped on my floor and I muttered an “Excuse me Johanna.” Brushing past her nude form, “See you all tomorrow.”

There were a couple of goodbyes aimed my way, but neither from Katniss, unsurprisingly.

I was worried Finnick had already put her off us. If she had no idea how to react to him, and from her face seeing Johanna naked she was an innocent as someone came.

The Capitol hadn’t tainted her yet.

“I rushed straight here, you looked fantastic!” Luine squealed as I reached the apartment, Mags looking irritated next to her, obviously she had received the brunt of it. “You did get here quick.”

“I ran up the back stars through the kitchen, I was so excited!” She continued, clasping my hands, “Now quick, get changed and we can eat before they show it on the screens!” I looked at Naloh who looked equally tired in her company.

It worked either way,you either fed off her energy and felt a little better yourself as I did now or you wanted to wring her neck. “I’ll have a shower.” I promised, “You should have one as well Mags.”

She nodded quickly, eager to escape and went into her own room whilst Luine kept up a steady stream of fashion chatter, “But Cinna and Portia eh? They’re outdone themselves again. I was trying to find a way to work it into your costume but obviously, water and fire don’t mix too well and oh Finnick!”

He walked in, looking put out instantly but it gave me the opportunity to slip off and into my bedroom.Finally alone I took a few shallow breaths, taking off and placing the dress back on its rail before the struggle of releasing pins from my hair and finally the shower I was craving. The hot heavy droplets rained over me, my hands coming away black as I wiped over my face, grimacing and rubbing sweet smelling soap over my body and a vast amount of conditioner, feeling the curls go into the usual heavy waves on my upper back, sticking to the skin.

“Elenia?” I didn’t reply, pushing my head further into the water, hearing the blurred request to come out for dinner soon. After wasting a few more minutes I turned off the shower, squeezing my hair tightly and slipping a towel around my body, replacing it with a tank top and pyjama bottoms.

I wiped the remaining black from around my eyes and moved slowly back into the bathroom, brushing my hair and drying it, wasting another minute before finally leaving my bedroom, the carpet soft under my feet until polished wood took over its place.

“Finally.” Naloh grumbled as I pulled out the chair beside Luine, sitting down heavily ignoring him and pulling some form of potato filled salad towards me. “The show is on in about half an hour.” Luine told me, hardly any food on her plate which explained easily how she was so tiny.

I’d always been thin but her thighs had to be about the same width as the top of my arms. I pouted but continued to fill my plate, trying to distract myself from the anxiety nibbling at me again like how Luine was attacking a stick of carrot.

It shouldn’t worry me that she was obviously starving herself. In a few days I’d likely be starving trying to find some food whilst dodging daggers, and possibly arrows.

I didn’t offer anything to the conversation, letting Marck and Naloh control it. Something hit against my foot and I looked up from my plate to see Finnick, it was him and he quickly caught both of my legs between his, trapping them and making me whine with the effort to wrench them back.

“Alight?” Luine asked and I lied quickly, taking another longer sip of a thick fruit flavoured smoothie. “Good nutrients in that, you should have one as well Finnick, you too Mags! I did this diet once where...”

No-one argued or even listened, watching the female avox that served us make some and handing more out. I thanked her, ignoring Naloh tutting and adding in another thank-you before she went back to her post.

Poor girl. I wondered what she did to end up like that.
I wonder if they knew what Thom was planning he'd end up the same way, or worse.
I could lose both of my siblings.

His leg knocked mine again and I turned back around to one of his eyebrows lifting and I simply shrugged my shoulders, popping a grape in my mouth as I pushed my near empty plate away, stomach churning as I tried to force the poisonous thoughts back down.

“Remember to eat healthily, the games after all are soon.” Naloh reminded us with a bitter voice, and I could imagine his face hidden behind my curtain of hair as I poured a large helping of custard into a bowl. Mags smirked at me and I returned it, leaning over to pass the bowl to her, grabbing some of the melted chocolate instead.

“If we’re done being childish...”

“Naloh,” Luine scolded, “Do stop it! Let’s just enjoy the meal.” Marck seconded her opinion but a few minutes later we were done anyway and moved to the large curved sofa, the screen turning on as Ceaser appeared with that terribly white smile.

He spoke a little with the large purple woman beside him, offering her own opinions.

We didn’t say much, it was mainly Luine, gushing over some outfits and wrinkling her nose at others.

“Oh and look at that, stunning.” She sighed resting her chin on her hands, again representing some love-struck teenager from one of the dreadful soap operas they showed at odd times here. I rolled my eyes, pulling my hair over one shoulder. Mags was on one side of me and Finnick the other, his arm strung across the back of the sofa just inches from my shoulders.

For some reason, even without contact I felt nervous and wanted to blush. I could so easily sink into his side but that wasn’t possible, wouldn’t help anything. I made myself rigid, watching Snows’ speech again, finally listening properly to it with a sneer until the music sounded and it finished, instantly going into recaps.

Naloh stood, straightening his shirt. I felt sick again, watching faces appear that I was going to have to try to kill, or to help others do. But I waited for someone else to make the first move, Marck declaring he was leaving, offering to take Luine home.

Something was going on between them, but it was the least of my worries although I was surprised I hadn’t heard anything yet.

I took the chance, standing myself, and helping Mags up, thanking Luine before she left and letting her pull me into a hug, thin arms surprisingly strong. “I’ve put training outfits in the third drawer, and trainers are in the corner. Keep confident and make friends.”

Odd how my stylist seemed far more together than the escort, and this was a woman who told me she dreamt up clothing designs.

I nodded, saying goodbye again and watching as they left. Leaving Mags at her door and heading further to mine, lighting a sweet smelling candle and sitting on the bed again and praying I’d sleep easily, feel good when it came to training tomorrow. My stomach clenched, the same stab that had plagued me on and off all day whenever I let myself think about the future.

I had to keep up that I had changed, that I was confident, strong, able, not going to freeze, stare into nothing or let them scare me.

But that was going to be difficult, I wanted nothing more then to sink under my covers and hibernate there. Instead I got under them carefully, adjusting my pillows for far too long before demanding that the lights turned off, the room dropped into darkness and I sighed, shifting onto my back.

Sleep didn’t come easily, and I was longing to sneak into Finnick’s room, even just to lay with him.

I had to scold myself, roll into a ball on my side and try and put happy images in my mind until I eventually drifted off.


For a while it was Luine, babbling in my ear, clothes wrapping tightly over me and flying off. But then they got tighter, around my body and arms, holding me back, pinning me on my knees,whilst her white teeth gleamed, growing sharp and golden tipped. Enobaria, laughing as the square from home appeared around me, cobbles hot under my bare feet. The countdown rang out, the shots.

Luka’s brains splattering onto that wall.

I woke up screaming, and a hand slammed over my face.I couldn’t make sense of it for a moment, feeling how wet my face was, the panic and need to escape overwhelming flowing through my limbs. “Shhh.” The hand was attached to an arm, a body, Mags.

I nodded, panting when she drew it back, standing straight with a loud crack from her knees and sitting on the edge of my bed delicately. She pushed me back down from where I had shot up, hands rubbing under my eyes, fanning out my hair just how Finnick had done back in his bedroom.

A different wave of upset hit me.

That was it, I couldn’t have any of them in any way. Not here, and not now.

I’d let Seneca Cane put his slimy hands all over me, have me to keep them safe.
But I couldn’t save Luka, I couldn’t help Thom and I couldn’t help Finnick.

If it didn’t all go right I would lose them all completely.

I couldn’t stop the crying now, everything that had been growing inside me seemed to erupt. But it was silent, I was choking on it, pulled up by firm hands into her shoulder, her struggling soft words just floated past me.

I hated everything, so, so much. I hated it all and I was so powerless.

I don’t know how long I cried for but when I finally pulled away, sniffling and hiccuping, my throat felt roar and my whole face hurt, no doubt swollen. “Sorry.” I garbled, her pushing hair back again, “I don’t w...want t..t..to keep crying about it.” She smiled, cupping my face again.

“Crying doesn’t make you weak.” She struggled with the words but it was one of the most coherent things I had heard her say in days and I nodded.

“You get why I couldn’t let you do this don’t you?” I had to know she understood, that she wasn’t mad.

“I know.” Another few seconds passed and she indicated for me to lie back down. I nodded and did so, letting her pull the cover up to my shoulders, “Mags.” I croaked, “Can you stay with me?” I think it was how pitiful my voice sounded that made her nod, gesturing for me to move over.

I did and she climbed in, letting me curl up onto her shoulder, careful not to put weight on it with my head. “I’m not that old.” She managed, pushing it properly down and shushing me again.

She fell asleep quite soon after, her breathing a gently rhythm I felt myself starting to rely on, waiting for each slightly wheezing breath to bob my head up and down.

Amongst everything, I was so glad she’d be as safe as possible here in the Capitol, even if it went wrong they would never accuse her, hurt her.

It would be a complete outrage if they did.

I don’t know what time it was I fell asleep, but it definitely didn’t feel like long until there was rapping at my door and I whined, standing as Mags grumbled, letting me climb over her and to the door.

It was Finnick. “Mags with you?” I nodded, opening the door further so he could see.

“She’s fine.” My voice was croaky and he flicked the light on, eyes scanning over me. I could only imagine how I looked. “I’m going to wash my face.” I blurted, darting into the bathroom, hearing him asking her questions in low rushed tones my bedroom door closing. The clock on the wall told me it was just past eight and training started at ten o’clock.

That was enough to make me retch although no food came up, just acid hurting my throat more and leaving me messily drinking several glasses of water, so desperate for it that I spilled some on my top.

I did look bad, obvious.

My eyes were still a little red and swollen, my cheeks looked sore from where the salty tears had stung. Fortunately, I knew from Luine it was nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a little make-up, and by the time it had either rubbed or sweated off hopefully my face would look more normal.

I brushed my teeth viciously, sipping slowly on yet more water as I left the bathroom, Finnick was sitting on my bed, waiting for me.

“Are you alright?” I nodded, “Sure? Mag’s may not be saying but it’s pretty obvious.” His fingers danced down my cheek again.

“Just a nightmare, I’m okay.” He pursed his lips, “I promise. Mags must have heard me.”

“I should have heard you.” I swallowed hard, the action flooding me with discomfort.

“Your rooms further away.” I said simply, as if that solved it, “And I’m okay, just being stupid.”

“You’re never stupid.” I smiled a little, taking another longer sip of my water to try and quench the urge to kiss him, to pull him back down onto the bed. He seemed to be thinking the same, waiting until I lowered my water to kiss right beside my mouth, as if he had gone for my cheek.

“We don’t know for certain...” He started and I shook my head. There was no way in hell that we weren’t being listened to, or watched, probably both. “And who is anyone going to tell?”

“I don’t know Finn but we can’t risk it with sponsors for you, or with anyone else aiming specifically...”

“For us.” He corrected, glaring around the room as if to check, “And everything that happens up here is up here, it’s not going to be obvious unless we make it.”

He was winning me over, what would the security guards do? We weren’t breaking any rules, and it wasn’t like they would announce it to the public or any of the other victors.

But if they did tell Snow he could purposely make it harder for us. Then... it was going to be difficult enough as it was, and we weren’t going in just to keep ourselves alive, we were doing it to ensure she was at the end of it all.

Was it worse to deny myself him for the last few days we had out of the arena, or would it make everything in there far worse if we continued this?

Especially with the level secrecy that he seemed to be willing to ignore, take that risk, for me.

I sucked on my lip, if Naloh knew he’d tell people without a doubt, wrongly play it up as a positive
and it would get to the public that way, make it all so much more difficult.

“Naloh.” Was all I had to say but he seemed to have made up his mind, tugging my water from me and taking a sip as he Leant across me to place it on the bedside table, “Naloh doesn’t have to know.”

I let out a shaky gasp as his hand grazed over me, every inch of me aching for his touch, “I can’t spend what are possibly my last few days without...”

I cut him off with my lips, body pushed hard against his. He caught me, hands gliding and making me moan into his mouth before I pulled away a couple of inches, waiting as if expecting some sort of alarm to go off.

There was silence.

“At least lock the door.” I breathed, almost falling as he quickly separated from me, doing what I asked and meeting me on the bed, joining our bodies again. “We have to be quick, before Naloh.”

“Don’t insult me.” He joked, hand slipping down my bottoms when there were short hard knocks on the door, he swore into to my neck and I called a shaky yes, sliding away from him. “You up?”

“Yeah, I had a nightmare so Finnick came in.” I lied, not wanting to open the door properly, “Sorry, we’ll be out in a second.”

“Wonderful,” he paused momentarily, giving that glimmer of a human that was hidden deep underneath all the vanity and self worth, “Are you feeling okay?”