Suffocate

Between each set of the paths there was the same tree. I hadn’t counted when I was high in one myself but that had become clear. They were almost identical sections of land, they had to be the same size, similar layout. Unfortunately all of them were thick, and I was in front, cutting down hanging vines so an ever more struggling Beetee could get through.

We needed medicine, bandages. I’d asked up to everyone watching a few times quietly, but there was no reply. They may not actually be watching us, the cameras were likely focused on something far more interesting. But either way I half expected something.

There was nothing.

“We must be nearly there now.” Johanna grumbled, “Come down to the beach with me. I can’t hear rain.” She finished with a hiss.

She was right, we had to be close and there was no sound, no splashing against the wide leaves. Had we been completely wrong and dragged Beetee all this way for nothing?

I kept my worries to myself, at least we’d gotten an idea of the arena, even if we were still no closer to water.

Thinking that, comparing it to the dryness of my mouth did little to soothe me.

I agreed and we left Blight caring for the others, Wiress’s ticks were growing slower with her tiredness. We trod carefully, I’d stopped sweating so much but it was still too warm, and I felt a sticky layer coating my skin. “We need to see if the clouds are still there.”

“What if they’re not?” I had to ask, she shrugged.

“We set up camp, do what we would have done anyway and try to find some fucking water. Doesn’t make much difference where we are does it?” She pushed her damp fringe back and it stuck to her temple, our footsteps light, “And by now if we haven’t we should be running into Finnick and Twelve soon, then our part of the bargain is over and we have that alliance.”

I’d almost forgotten about that, I just wanted them...him to be safe.

"And then what?" I asked, more for the sake of it, for appearances.

“Stop daydreaming.” She was tired of me, I knew that. More than just physical exhaustion she was sick of all of us, she didn’t do people well. As well as I did, but my apologies flew just as easily as her rage.

Everyone knew that.

“Sorry.” I gripped the sword tighter and sped up my pace, the tree line meeting us after a few long minutes. “I can’t see from here.” I hissed, glaring out, the moon was sparkling on the settled water.

My body was craving it, even though I knew how bad it was, the damage of salt water, it just looked so tempting.

“Same, we need to get out.” We both searched for movement, “Move quick so you can see and I’ll cover you.” I bit my lip but nodded regretfully, my lip was dry, cracked. I stood over a fallen branch, every sense felt like it was too powerful, my eyes too wide, every muscle tensed.

“Go already!” I jumped out, jogging several steps backwards, the beach was only about fifteen metres wide and I moved close to the water, staring upwards. Not far from us, still a little to the right there were dark clouds starting to form again.

I grinned, “It’s going to rain, not far.” I called, a little too loud.

That had been my first mistake.

The second was to still be standing in place when a huge strike of lightening hit the large tree in front of me, not far from where we had left the others. The sky lit up, exposing me with a loud chime.

Again and again. I was a statue, a mix of awe and fear.

“Well, look who it is!” I spun without thinking, Brutus was wet, not far behind me, a grin on his face as Enobaria emerged from the trees. Careers, proper Careers always enjoyed the chase.

“Why aren’t you with your boyfriend?” I didn’t dare glance at Johanna, give her away. I just lifted up my arm, as if I was re-gripping the grubby sword, I waved her off with two fingers.

She had to go, get Beetee and Wiress to water, safety.

Finnick.

I don’t know why I hadn’t run yet. But it seemed until I did they wouldn’t.

I was like an animal, what it must be like to be hunted properly. I was a fast runner, I could outrun them. But I had no idea where Cashmere and Gloss were.

Enobaria moved a step, up on the balls of her feet and it was enough, feet skidding on the sand as I dove into the forest a bit further down from Johanna, scrambling up the steep bank. I could hear them, Brutus was yelling to someone. I was just waiting for Cashmere and Gloss to appear, cage me in.

I knew they wouldn’t kill me nicely and my heart was thudding harder from fear, panting already in panic.

But there was nothing, just the moonlight growing weaker, the tear and slash of vines and thin branches across me as my feet pounded against the soft ground. Each breath was fire, but I could still hear them behind me. I was fast, but endurance was not my strong point.

I had to out manoeuvre them. I turned a sharp right, forcing myself further into the jungle, my lungs were working hard, my legs harder, but no matter how much I pushed the two of them were still not far behind me. They were desperate, and of course I had played up pissing them off.

Although that was so true it probably spurred them on further.
They'd certainly enjoy ending me.

I took another hard turn, desperate to lose them, feeling my strength leak into the grass. I wasn’t quick enough and there was a whoosh in the air that stopped suddenly.

Right when the dagger plunged into my thigh.

I wasn’t sure if I actually made the noise that erupted in my head, but the air ripped through me, the instant pain was odd. Like a thick punch. But I took another step and could feel the dagger dig further into my flesh, imagine it snapping strings of muscle. No, I tested it, still desperately trying to run, panic overpowering the pain.

I could still run, just about.

I heard that sound again and flung myself down, another dagger travelling not far over my head but then stopping with a jerk, there was a yellow glow, shapes appeared split over the trees in front of me and it was sprung back. Brutus yelling again in shock.

It was the force field.

I didn’t waste time, I scrambled painfully up, their confusion giving me a bit of a head start although I was breathless and slow, every step was wedging the knife deeper into me. I didn’t stop until I was sure I had distance, but I could still hear them yelling.

It felt like forever, the pain in my leg excruciating, it seemed to be sending shockwaves through my whole body. I stumbled, missing a loose root and plummeting at least two metres off a ledge, a short sharp drop into a soft wet surface. The salt water flooding into my mouth, stinging my arm, my leg.

I shoved myself out of it with a gasp.

I’d fallen hard and loudly. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

They’d easily follow the direction of the noise.

I belly flopped out of it, breaths haggard as I painfully shoved myself up onto my feet, choking on the salt water rattig in my throat, my left leg now pretty much lame. I twisted before I ran, listening for them. I heard the scuffle of vines, and I could see red merging with the clear water.

I had to run again, trying desperately to curb my breathes which were wheezes, my throat closing up. After a few minutes I knew I wasn’t getting any further, I felt like I was going into shock, a panic attack. But there was a tree, one of the larger ones.

If I could climb up, like Katniss had just last year, but so they didn’t know, didn’t see me.

I tried but slipped multiple times, each causing more blood to leak out of my leg and frustation to flicker.

It wasn’t just blood anymore, it was hope. I was sure they must be nearly here, I’d wasted at least a minute in such a fruitless, stupid attempt. There was no way I was climbing the tree.

I hadn’t even done what I wanted to in here, I’d drawn them away but I didn't know how Finnick was, how it would all end up.

Brutus and Enobaria were going to enjoy themselves with me, that much was for sure.

I slipped back onto the ground. I could hear their voices, raised. Another, Cashmere. They must have left Gloss to guard the Cornucopia. I rolled onto my side, anything to avoid pushing the weapon further into myself.

I couldn’t run for now, I needed to remove it from me, but I needed to stop the bleeding, assess the damage.

“Look, if you got her she might just bleed out.”

“We didn’t run all this fucking way for nothing Cashmere...” My hands were claws on the grass and I was up on my knees, the only way I felt able to travel. But, to where? My eyes hurt with the desperation. The roots of the tree, they were lifted above the ground, if I could just try and...

I didn’t let myself try and work it out, I just struggled over there, dragging my leg behind me and wedging myself through a gap, a mottled scream caught by my hand when I hit my leg, the dagger tearing a tiny bit further down my skin. I dragged myself underneath the mass of tree as much as possible, practically heaving.

I could barely move, but it was dark, I didn’t think they’d be able to see me. I prayed they wouldn’t be able to see me.

I lay on my front, hands clasped over my mouth to keep my sharp painful breaths quiet. I wanted to close my eyes but didn’t dare, searching for them amidst the other trees.

I could feel my pulse, in my hands, in my neck, my ears and thumping hard in the new hole in my thigh. I didn’t want to move, not until I was sure.

It had been a struggle for me to get in here, and I was smaller than all of them. But even so I was only perhaps a metre from the line of twisted roots. They could reach me if they wanted to.

Or they could wait me out, wait for the possible blood loss and shock to take me.

I had to stop the bleeding, I had to remove the knife, put pressure, make some kind of strap like I had with Beetee.

I was just so tired, so thirsty. Propping up on my elbows seemed to be trying to drain away that last tiny bit of energy. It would be worse if I let myself keep bleeding. I knew that. But it wasn’t long before I saw them, shivering further back into the darkness, I wished it would absorb me.

They were still talking, but their words were bleary, and I was struggling to keep my eyelids open, manage my breathing, count in and out. They didn’t stop, there seemed to be no sign they knew I was here. I didn’t dare relax, but I jumped, biting the side of my hand as a cannon shot echoed loudly in the air.

“Might have been her.” Enobaria commented, wiping over her brow. I could see she had a better belt and she pulled out what looked like a hip-flask. They had fresh water, of course. I frowned, my mouth was full of spit, but the taste of salt was lingering, making me more desperate for the precious liquid.

“Maybe...”

“Look, we saw the blood, and she dropped her weapon. It’s not like we were expecting much anyway, leave it. We should head back and get some sleep.”

“Fine” Brutus settled, and I watched, in that haze as they moved away, staring until they were out of view. I didn't try moving, only just uncovering my mouth and falling flat on my front, the exhaustion was instantaneous and the roots were fuzzy before they turned black.


I woke up suddenly, in my confusion pushing myself upright, stopped by two things. My head slamming into a root and the piercing pain that struck back through my leg.

The knife, Brutus. It all came back in uncomfortable flashes and I groaned.

I was alive. I was so thirsty.

And now I was alone and injured.

It was lighter now, early morning, that sun pushing through the grey sky that would soon grow pink. I felt so sick. I twisted onto my side, letting my eyes adjust, whining as I turned my leg.

I stretched my arm down, trying to keep my leg as still as possible, hissing as it touched by the wound and came back up to my face covered in blood. “Fuck.” I hissed tiredly, scrunching up my face as I lifted up and lay on my back, putting my leg up as high as I could, resting it on a jutting piece of bark that formed the mass of the large tree.

I was not in the position to be doing this. But I could not pass out here, and I definately couldn't go anywhere else in this state. I tore off the belt of knives, an imprint of it in my stomach and lifted my hips, unzipping the wet suit completely. I was going to pull it down over the cut when the knife was out, so I could see it properly and wrap the cut.

I was dragging up things I remembered reading. Elevate it so it bleeds less, and then the pressure, clean it...I couldn’t do that yet, I had to get to water, drinkable or otherwise.

I ran through it several times. Get the dagger out after a few minutes, keep my leg up but get the wetsuit down to my knees, move my leg as much as possible so I could try and get a look.

Pressure, wrap it up, soak it in salt water, find another puddle.

I needed something tight, I couldn’t reach any vines from here and I didn’t want to be moving straight away, chances were I would faint.

I felt like it already. I could use the rest of sleeve I supposed and I grabbed a knife, tearing through the fabric quite easily and placing it on my stomach, laying the knife next to me when I had a hit of inspiration. The belt, it was leather, strong, quite thick.

If I could cut that shorter, stab a few holes in one side I should hopefully be able to buckle it back up. I could make another belt of vines once I was able to move for the knives.

I didn't even have my sword anymore did I? I groaned, flopping back down again, that sense of hopelessness bubbling. It was thinking of Finnick that brought me out of it. How he would feel to know I'd just given up, just waited lamely to die. I knew he'd been fighting, doing his best.

If he was as worried about me as I was about him. The thought was painful and I tugged myself up from the pity, wiping away the tired tears that had fallen and forcing myself to run through the little plan I had again.

It seemed like my best option so I started sawing away at the leather, working up a sweat again as the sun rose higher. I could hear birds. I paused for a second, I hadn’t heard them before, that was odd. But that was a food source, if I somehow managed to sneak up close enough to hit one with a remaining knife.

That was unlikely.

I had to find Johanna or Finnick. Otherwise I was more than certain I was going to die.
The thought worried me more than scared me. I was definitely a little delirious.

The belt snapped and I measured it around my other leg, taking another long set of minute to get the right hole and test it. It seemed good, but it was the next part I wasn’t looking forward to. The knives I had weren’t serrated and I was hoping beyond belief the one in my leg wasn’t, that would just cause more damage.

But, there was only one way to find out and I placed my palm around the handle, trying to judge length from my own set. There was about an inch of blade stuck out of my leg and I tried to work it out.

It wasn’t a particularly long, I didn’t think. Hopefully that mean there wasn’t too much damage, that it hadn’t hit anything important.

If it had the release of pressure would make me bleed out. But I couldn’t walk around with it in my leg, burying deeper. I gripped the handle, tugging a little and feeling my face pale. Acid lifting in my throat. I had to do it quickly or I wouldn’t so I adjusted my fingers and yanked it out, feeling it drag against my flesh.

I muted my yell yet again with the palm of my hand, teeth catching the skin and tossed the knife next to me, checking over it. It wasn’t serrated, but I’d been about right with the size, a good five inches, four of which had been in me.

The pain was a prickle that suddenly seared every few seconds. I just wanted to lie there, pant as if the job was done and swear at each ripple.

It wasn’t, if I was here too long I knew the gamemakers would get bored and force me away somehow. That would kill me if I wasn’t ready.

I pushed myself onto my elbows again, turning my leg as much as possible, cursing under my breath as my foot slipped out of the ridge and pain flickered in a thick line right up to my hip. I grit my teeth, placing it back and starting to work the wetsuit down, grimacing as the sticky patch around the wound caught the skin, but after a few seconds it was done and I could concentrate.

It was more of a puncture wound that then the tear I had feared, and although blood was dripping out of it steadily, it wasn’t bleeding as much as I had feared. It didn’t look like it had hit any arteries or veins.

I finally allowed myself a moment of relief. I cut a bit of my loose sleeve off, dabbing at it gently, swearing as it stung. It hurt, but it was manageable, I just needed to sort it. I shifted again, wrapping the sleeve around it and knotting it how I had with Beetee over the cut, ignoring the irritation of the fabric against it. Then I struggled to pull my wetsuit back over and quickly tied the belt as tight as I could with the newly punched hole over the area.

Now I let myself feel a little calmer, head falling back against the ground.

That was one worry down, although it was bound to protest when I put weight on it, but I bent it and moved it around, it seemed bearable.
Bearable was the best I could do.

I placed my leg down carefully, sitting a little cramped so I didn’t hit my head again. But I noticed something, retrieving hair that had caught in the wrinkles of the bark. It was damp.

Damp.

“The waters in the fucking trees.” I breathed, of course. That made so much sense, we were stupid to ever think it would be so ridiculously complicated in that way. I wondered if they figured it out yet. I didn’t know what time it was, early, probably about seven in the morning.

I hoped they had, it was such a long time to go so long with water, and in such heat that was starting to lift again.

I must have lost them late, when that odd booming chime hit out. Had that been symbolising something? I couldn’t recall how many there had been. There must have been twelve, and with the timing midnight.

That was plenty of time for them to get there, and hopefully safely. They could be with Finnick, Katniss and Peeta right now. I grabbed the largest knife I had left, with the one removed from my thigh they numbered five, and started jabbing it upwards, leaning back, an aching pain still resurfacing tiredly in most of my body.

Small chunks of bark fell but no water, I don’t know what I was expecting, to hit a certain patch and to have a spring of it burst? That was stupid.

I sighed, I needed something and it was getting to the point when I would almost happily eat the chunks of wood. I should conserve my energy, I may have slept, or passed out for several hours but I didn’t feel at all refreshed, I felt queasy. I should move, find people.

The best way to do that was to do what we had the day before, move down close to the beach. If the Careers caught me I was dead. That was a fact.

I was tugged out of self pity by a high pitched beeping I recognised, a parachute, a sponsor gift. I crawled to the criss cross of those moss covered roots. It was drifting, a little too far past me, just near another set of trees.

Did that mean it was meant for me or there was somebody else there? I bit my lip, either way it would beep until someone picked it up. They were a gift and a death trap, anyone close enough would know there were people here. I grabbed all of the knives and awkwardly maneuvered myself into the opening, standing slowly, and taking that first testing step.

It stung, but compared to how it had felt the night before, it would do.
That seemed to be becoming my latest little saying.

I waited a minute, cutting down a vine a few slightly limped steps away and tying it three times around my waist, giving me enough width to tuck the knives in. The beeping was still going on, so I assumed it must be for me and started moving that way, aware of the lethargic feel plaguing all of my limbs.

I rubbed over my face as I walked, still on high alert, well as focused as I could be and treading down a small incline, spotting the parachute caught in a thick leaved bush. I fished it out and the beeping stopped instantly, it was small and I opened it carefully, instantly confused as I pulled out the small length of metal, several holes prodded into it and one edge pointed.

What was it? Not a weapon, not a whistle.

I was still frowning when I heard heavy steps and froze, ducking down in the bush, thorns pricking my arms. I pulled out the longest knife, toying with it, sucking on my lips. I wasn’t hidden enough, but I couldn’t get any further in the bush and the odd piece of metal was dropped to the ground not even two metres from me.

I held my breath.