Suffocate

It was Chaff that stumbled through the undergrowth, looking confused, his normally rich face pale and sweaty. I didn’t know whether to move for a few seconds, he held a bloody spear very loosely in one hand but he looked lost, and not physically. I gripped the knife tighter but stood, and it took a few seconds for him turn to me. I figured I could dodge the spear easily enough.

“Chaff.” I asked gently, stepping out from the bush, his fingers were still loose and slightly curled, “Chaff, a...are you okay?”

He shook his head mutely, “There’s ghosts, back...that way..” He was swallowing hard between his words, tears in his eyes, “I ran from them but I was stuck for a while and they were taunting me, saying things I couldn’t...” A tear trailed through the sweat.

Ghosts? I picked up the gift, tucking it in my badly made belt and approaching him. I didn’t think he was dangerous. “What...what do you mean?”

“They were white, transparent almost and they just kept yelling, saying how I’d let them down and killed them and...”

“It’s okay.” I said weakly, as the spear fell, stretching out awkwardly and patting his shoulder, “Chaff there aren’t ghosts, I promise.”

“You didn’t see them.” I shook my head, bewildered by the sight of him and his words, I had no idea what he meant, had he hit his head and hallucinated? He looked healthy enough, in a better state than I was.

“I...”

“Why aren’t you with Finnick?” He cut me off somberly, “Why are you by yourself?”

“We...we had different ideas, I was with Johanna but Brutus saw me so I lost them.” He nodded slowly, “C... come on, sit down. You need to sit down.”

“You have water?” I shook my head, the thirst striking me at full strength again, “What, what was the gift? I didn’t know if it was for me or not.”

“It may be,” I admitted, tugging it out, “I don’t know what it is, do you?” He took it from me, his finger tips were red and a little bloody, explaining instantly the scratches on his arm. I sat beside him, leg cramping at the movement.

I could imagine the Capitol now, if there was nothing else going on they would have been interested in Chaff approaching me, would have expected a kill, him appearing so out of it.

They’d be confused, disappointed that I’d just sat him down. But I liked Chaff, more importantly I respected him.

And I’d played the role of Career before, I’d given them the kills they loved and spoke about over dinner. I was here but I wasn’t their pet. They didn’t control me completely.
They didn’t know the plot inside my head.

“I know what it is, the trees...” He fumbled off, sounding like Wiress. I felt a prickle of worry.

“The trees have the water in I think, I just worked that out.” Why did I sound so breathless, excitement bubbling, “Is it for that?”

“It’s a spile, you dig a bit, put it in the tree to extract whatever is in there. We used to have a few trees near my village, maple ones, as a treat.”

“So water will come out?” That seemed to breathe life into him and I grinned, “Let’s do it, now.”

“Okay.” He still seemed shaky but we stood, “Doesn’t really matter what tree, but we’ll do a big one.”

I let him take over, handing him a knife with only a tiny bit of caution bubbling. Chaff wasn’t the type to kill someone like that, I hoped. No, I knew. He started carving a hole and I went back to the box, grabbing the parachute, it may be a way to gather water, and finally reading the note.

He’s getting worried
M and L

He was clearly Finnick, but M and L, Mags and Luine. I glanced up, “Thank you.” I didn't know if the camera would be on me but I wanted to thank them anyway. Let them know I got the message. I had to hurry up.

“Ah, here we go!” Chaff sounded excited and I stood, placing the note down, the grin hitting me again as I saw the water pouring from that odd little creation into his open mouth. He spat some out before just standing there there, noticing me and moving out of the way.

The relief was indescribable. My body protested as I bent at an odd angle but I didn’t care. The water was lukewarm, but it felt so good. I swallowed some, opening my mouth for more and swishing it around as he had done, moving away to spit it out and rid me of the salty taste whilst Chaff darted back under, splashing some over his face.

We rotated from under the thin stream of water several times until it seemed to run out.

It was amazing how much better I felt after a little water, I’d even removed the belt around my thigh, angling myself so water flowed over the puncture mark.

“That was Brutus then? You managed to outrun them?” I nodded, he still seemed a little off but the water had transformed him back into that cocky looking man I’d half known for three years. “Just about, it was...when there was all that lightening and chiming, you know?”

“Midnight.” He seconded my earlier option and I nodded, sitting back down, the steadily shrinking water hitting the top of my head in a way that was almost comforting. “I was checking for clouds, we saw some, and we stupidly assumed that was the only water source. But Enobaria and Brutus saw me I ran, Brutus managed to get that knife pretty far into me.”

“I can see.” I did the belt back up, the pressure brought relief instantly, “And then yeah, I hid under a tree, passed out, t..then sorted it when I woke up.” Another cannon shot made us both jump and hands groped around the nearest weapons, “I dropped my sword as well, like a fucking idiot.”

He smirked, and I asked where had had been, what he had meant by ghosts timidly. “I went off, I tried to look for Seeder, but she didn’t die there did she?” I shook my head, she hadn’t appeared the night before.

But I’d heard two cannon shots since then and the hovercraft had only been a few hundred metres to my right. I couldn’t see who it was when the claws retracted.

He sighed, rubbing his hand over his chin, it took me a moment to remember he only had one, it seemed like such an insignificant thing, but yet so important in here, such a disadvantage.

“Why did you never accept the prosthetic?” I asked, cutting him off again, him telling me about getting deep into the jungle, hoping to find her.

“I lost an arm,” He shrugged, “So I lost an arm. And I lost it killing someone. Didn’t feel like I deserved another.” I nodded, smiling lowly at him and we fell into silence again.

I could understand to a degree, after what I had done before, for a long time I didn’t even feel I deserved to be breathing. But that was were Finnick came in. I felt my throat clog and wrenched my head up for distraction.

“Looks like it’s going to rain.” Those strange looking clouds were forming again, growing thick quickly.

“No,” He stood up suddenly, “No, it won’t be rain, something’s not right here.” I frowned, “What I saw, I know it wasn’t ghosts, it like...projections. It, I was over there when it happened and now, there is where someone died.” He pointed to our right again. “It’s moving...something is moving.” He was speaking so fast and deep I could only pick out half his words.

“Chaff, you’re not making any sense.”

“I’m getting out of here! You should do the same. Find Finnick, go to the beach or...” There was a crackle of thunder from above us.

“Chaff!” I called, watching as he ran to his spear and picked it up, “Chaff, I don’t understand...where are you going?!” I rushed to pull out the spile but it was too late and I’d lost him in my vision, although I could hear his heavy footsteps tramping foliage.

I grumbled under my breath, heart racing in the panic his reaction had caused, watching as the first light drops of rain fell. “Should have made a basket.” I stepped out from under the tree, at least the rain was sure to be relaxing, hopefully clean some of the salt off of me, and with the spile I’d have enough water to last.

I couldn’t shake Chaff's weird behaviour but I felt a pain on my shoulder, it felt like some kind of bug bite, a fizzle. I swore looking at it when I felt it again, on my hand. I put it forward, coming to the realisation too slowly before the clouds burst open.

Chaff was right to run, it was boiling water, it had to be, it was burning me. A drop rolled down my hand, it stung but not overly, the skin growing red where it touched, the top layer or two as least just seemed to bubble, leaving the pink underneath visible.

And then it poured.

I shrieked, the pain was tenfold instantly and I darted back under the tree, it escaping through the leaves and still catching me. I didn’t understand, searing hot rain, why, I didn’t...

I couldn’t let it get in my eyes, that much was obvious.

I’d been scalded before, the scar all but gone over one wrist thanks to expensive medicine. And there was no way I was getting that in here. I was going to burn. I just had to make it as little as possible. I winced, another patch of the tree weakening and letting the water drip onto my upper back.

The parachute I realised, the leaves above me were folding under the weight of it and I opened up the silver material, holding it over my head. I had to make a run for it, I looked where Chaff had gone, wincing again as the stinging hit my finger. The clouds stretched further that way.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, another stream running down one arm, my legs pulsing. I was going to have to run straight through it. That was my only chance. Drops kept catching my back, my shins, my heels.

I took one deep last breath and sprinted, whining as the parachute actually began to sink with the weight tearing in the centre and causing the pool to pour over one shoulder, my exposed fingers screaming as I felt the skin on my shoulder literally wipe away, tears adding to the heat on my face.

This was worse than last night, at least then I wasn’t going to literally be stewed by rain water.
The parachute caught in a tree and I struggled to tear it down, keeping my head facing down, the burning trickling down my cheeks. “Stupid, bloody thing!” I screamed, giving up and let it go, my legs were doing better than my exposed arms, flung over my head but even now the wetsuit seemed to be steaming.

I just couldn’t stop, arms directly over my forehead, taking the brunt of the rain. It never seemed to end the clouds a blanket but then eventually, miraculously I could see the edge and pushed harder, breaking out from what looked like a wall of the droplets and into a sunny patch of the jungle, completely untouched.

I collapsed onto my back, breathing heavily, more like gasps as I examined my arms. They were red, not bleeding but sore, patches of less damaged skin survived.

My shoulder was the worst, red raw so I didn’t are touch it, although when a long stand of grass tickled it felt like another blade and it was all I could go not to scream, flinging myself upwards.

What the hell was that?

I scrunched my face up, body stinging, watching the rain fall steadily just a few feet from me. It had stopped suddenly, the cloud a perfectly straight line that seemed to travel all the way down to the beach.

Was it booby trapped? Or were they just bored that we weren’t trying to kill each other?

I didn’t care, I needed water, to drink and to pour over myself and my stiff, painful fingers gripped around the spile.

It didn’t take too long, although both of my palms were bleeding by the time I had managed to tear enough bark from the tree and insert the spile again. I kept my hands under the water flow, the relief again quick but not completely satisfying. The skin turned to a low pink but touching it was still tender. I did much how I had with Chaff just half an hour before, drenching my face and crouching under it, letting it run over me and my shoulder which still felt like it was smouldering.

I wanted to pour more on my legs but I didn’t want to risk taking off the leather strap, all the running was bound to have made my leg bleed more.

I leant back against the tree arefully, pulling off my vest top so more skin could have that direct hit of the tepid water. It had stuck slightly on that one shoulder, so I let my bra strap and the vest strap sit in place, not wanting to irritate the skin anymore. The initial shock wore off, although one of my hands were shaking.

I didn’t understand what had happened, not until it was too late.


I found the pool I had fallen into better in the light, although as I expected my sword had been taken, although my blood still floated on the surface, heavier than the water itself. I’d used a couple of trees, drank my fill and tried to soothe my arms and back. But I was still hungry and the handful of nuts I had found, certain they were what Blight had originally given me yesterday did nothing to help that.

I crouched by the salt water, I didn’t think I could avoid it completely, the place was full of it. I was so hungry. I sighed, dipping in my fingers, testing how much it would hurt the delicate skin. A lot was the answer and I discovered and I tore it back to my body grimacing.

That was the point of it wasn’t it, it probably wasn’t enough to kill me, but get burnt enough with all the sea water in there and you were not in for a good time.

I stood, I wanted to retrace my steps, or our steps before I had run in the opposite direction. I needed to find them, so why was I wasting time dawdling in this clearing. I didn’t know. The heat was making me want to itch, sweat forming on the pink skin that coated my arms. I was sure my face was okay, that was why I had leant over the pool of salt water at first, to try and see. I had a few marks by my temple, one down my cheek but it wasn’t too bad.

I couldn’t see my back but I’d soaked my vest in fresh water from a tree, so it was almost cold for all of about thirty seconds which felt wonderful. I could do it again, I supposed.

Why was I wasting time?

Everyone would be awake now, I knew that. Either trying to hide or hunt.

Being on the other side of that was odd, before I had been a Career I’d had the best supply of weapons, food, allies. I’d been in the perfect place to whisper those poisonous lies and deals into their ears and watch them destroy themselves. I hated that person even more now I was in this position.

I hadn’t planned any of it originally, Finnick had said my best chance was with them, and I smiled, I giggled, I worked hard until they wanted me. But then, I’d gone against his advice, his gifts sent with short notes, codes telling me to leave them, get away and hunt the others done alone.

He hadn’t expected Tyger. I hadn’t expected anything that would happen with Tyger.
That was the only part of the girl I was five years ago I didn’t detest.

I sighed, checking over my shoulder again. It was still red raw, still painful, although patches were growing lighter, I knew they would form large blisters. I also knew if I didn’t keep it clean it was going to get infected. I’d had one sponsor gift, and I knew alone I wouldn’t get more, I wasn’t appealing enough. I couldn’t be alone in here.

I needed Johanna or Finnick.

I suppose I was just hoping if I stayed here they would walk past, for all I knew I could be constantly walking the other way to them, always just missing them. The arena wasn’t that big, and already I’d run into the Careers and Chaff, so surely it wasn’t too dumb of me to hope they would just stroll close, or I’d hear a call.

Nothing. I shifted eventually, dragging the spile out of yet another tree, palms flushing redder where I applied pressure. It looked like blisters were forming on them and my arms properly now and I swore harshly under my breath, something that seemed almost constant. The boiling water clearly wasn’t to kill you, it was to maim, make everything difficult.

So far it was doing just that.

I tucked the spile awkwardly back in the vine around me. The one that had been woven around the cut on my arm was gone, and I did my now old trick with a chunk of sleeve, pretty much leaving my wetsuit with none. I didn’t want them now, I could imagine the raw skin sticking to it as I sweated.

I had to find people, and soon. I glanced upwards, the sun was rising steadily but it still had to be morning, probably late by now. It was sweltering again. I started walking, eager to see if they had just dropped my sword somewhere, they had enough weapons, they didn’t need it when they clearly occupied the Cornucopia.

A strong breeze gushed past me, hair that had fallen from my bun and dried in clumps bushed against my face. It felt delicious, the coolest I had been but it was gone all too soon and I was met with the uncomfortable heat. I was fairly sure I was going to get sunburn, and on top of scalds.

It was silly really, that I was focusing on such minor things when my life was on the line. When the person I cared about most in the worlds was. Finnick was strong, he could handle himself. If we had come in here with no other agenda I would have put my money on him, even if she had her bow.

Another smaller breeze danced past me and I looked for a source. There were no clouds, not as far as I could see through the gaps in the trees. I bit the inside of my cheek; already I was a little first.
I was getting gluttonous now I knew I could have water pretty much on tap.

I needed food, I could keep putting it off but I knew food meant protein, energy. There was just no way I was going to manage to set a fire, if I caught one of those elusive rats Johanna and that had seen with my hands like this, and I could not eat it raw.

I continued onwards, searching and finding more nuts instead, throwing a knife at a rat who scurried away at the last second. I ate them one by one, I had to be pretty close to the beach now, I could smell the water. More blisters had formed, lifting about half a centimetre from the damaged skin, an odd pinky white. They were disgusting. I hadn’t suffered bad burns before but I knew not to pop them, not to put anything over them.

I knew the fresh air was supposed to help although in the few minutes since that last gush of cool air there had been nothing but the stale heat.

I went to dig the spile into yet another tree, not having full use of my hands was something I hadn’t considered and I felt another stab of pity towards Chaff. Wherever he was I hoped he’d gotten away from the rain, or found better cover. Or even that he had found some sense in his mind. Ghosts, after the rain the idea of horrific projections was much more believable.

But why, were they targeting everybody? To push us together or to hope they’d have several entertaining separate deaths.

There had to be at least ten people dead already.

I pouted, the blister on my right knuckles had almost immobilised me, making curling my fingers a struggle. I shoved the spile angrily back in my make-shift belt, ready to take another step towards the beach, towards whatever and whoever was in that direction when the earth beneath my feet moved. I wasn’t sure if I felt it at first or imagined it, a rumble, a vibration that shook the closest tree. There was another shudder and I froze, glaring upwards, brightness blinding me momentarily. What was that?

There were multiple rumbles over the next couple of minutes and the air whipped past me again, although now it was anything but settling. I knew I needed to move and fast, that there was something, like the rain, like Chaff’s ghosts coming but I wasn’t fast enough. The jungle wasn’t safe, that was it, and the beach was were the Careers had set up camp.

But I had no choice but to get there.

As it turned out I was almost exactly in the middle of the patch of jungle when it erupted. The trees all seemed to be sucked backwards, air vanishing like a vacuum, branches struggling and then the smell was back, the water, and the sound that met it. I was on the stiff decline, stumbling over rocks when splashes of water trickled past me. The crashing of waves was growing louder.

I knew what it was. And from storms as I child I knew how much damage they did as they hit.

I scrambled to the closest tree, blisters ripping and bursting as I tried to pull myself up to no avail. It didn’t matter, the wave was coming too high, too fast and far too strong. I closed my eyes and gripped on tight but the tree tipped forward, creaking from the roots and I heard a high pitched scream I wasn’t sure if I let out or not.

But I let go, I couldn’t keep my clawed fingers digging in to the bark and I took one last desperate breath as I was pulled under. The currents were out of control. I had no sense of what was up, what was down, how fast we were going.

I pinched my nose hard. I knew I could hold my breath, I just kept repeating that to myself, my chest started to tighten from the pressure and I kicked up, trying to break any surface and barely managing to, a sharp inhalation of air before I was swept under again, water spilling into my gaping mouth.

I had to keep calm, even if my arms and shoulder were in agony. I understood water, I got water. It couldn’t be like this for long, it would crash, meet the pool and then I just had to swim, keep afloat. I could do that. Rationality I understood but that didn’t help the creeping panic. I was going to drown, how fucking ironic. I kicked up again, this time not finding the break between water and air. The wave was quicker, I felt my body hit something, pain and fear cocooning around me.

Drowning wasn’t like i had ever imagined. People always spoke of it as peaceful, as the water flood down your throat as it did now. But I was choking, my lungs were crumbling like ash, the salt water was biting every pore.

I was terrified. I was going to be killed by one of the things that I used to calm me, something I thought I understood, that was home.

Even in it I heard the explosion of a cannon.

Was it for me?