Suffocate

The grass sticks to me as I’m shaken awake, head flopping down as Finnick removes him arm with a hoarse “Sorry.” causing him to clear his throat. I groan, feeling somehow more exhausted than I had beforehand.

There was little urgency in the voices around me, so I didn’t manage to push past it instantly, although I was up on my feet in seconds, stretching my arms and helping a confused Peeta roll up the mats to bring with us.

“It’s a clock.” Katniss barely had to finish the sentence for it all to click.

The first analogy we had used.

I pout, of course, each segment between the rock paths, something happened every hour, the twelve chimes midnight and midday.

Wiress had stopped ticking. Of course, she’s guessed straight away pretty much.

I grinned widely at her, “You’re a genius.” She did an odd little giggle, slotting her arm in mine. It didn’t sting, barely irritating the skin, it looked a lot better, still the same pink shade as the sky but it’s even, the blisters seemed to have dissolved back into skin, the bubbles that had lifted it gone.

“Where are we going?” She shoved the pot of cream in my hand and I wedged it down the side of my shorts so it rested on my hip bone. “Around more, someone wake Johanna up.” We left Finnick to the job, afterwards, him and Peeta helped Beetee who took a few stumbled steps before regaining his balance with a wince and stiff stretch.

“It’s the wedges between the paths.” Katniss continued to explain, “Every one is different and per the hour... the blood rain, the fog, the monkeys. The lightening in the tree there.” She pointed, “Every twelve hours, noon, midnight, noon, starting it off again.” Wiress nodded by my side proudly.

“Then we should move, what time is it now?” Finnick asks, his hair had dried in unruly curls, and I could only imagine how mine had set.

“Half one.” Wiress nodded with garbled speech, and everyone’s head drew to the thick clouds, the heavy sound of rain.

“Blood rain.” Johanna grimaced, yawning into her hand. “Either way, better to move than be sorry.” I was a little shocked she was agreeing but kept silent, smirking at Katniss when she met my eye, “How far?”

“Wire.” Beetee said suddenly, checking his hips and making us all frown.

“Wiress is fine now, aren’t you?” Finnick said, that charm slipping out as he handed her the left over bread my stomach was aching for, “No,” Beetee continued, “My wire.”

“Oh.” I realised at the same time Johanna did and she rolled her eyes, jogging away and returning with the coil, pressing it too harshly into his hands. I frown at her, another argument between the other two, the apparently half sane women here burst out, Finnick having to stand, blocking them from one another until it simmered.

“At least they’re giving them a good show.” Peeta mutters to me, drawing out a guilty laugh that caught the three of them off guard and drew odd looks.

“Quit being stupid and let’s decide where were going.” Wiress’s fingers were twitching awkwardly in my arm, the medicine digging into my side.

“Stupid?” Johanna spun on her feel to face me now, although she didn’t move, aware Finnick wasn’t going to let her get an inch closer, “I’m being stupid? You want to stand there to me after five whole fucking years of...”

“Enough Johanna.” Finnick snapped loudly, the bangle around his wrist sparkling in the sunlight.

Peeta took advantage of her shock at his outburst and cut over the silence, “Where to?” Finnick suggested the Cornucopia over a still heavily breathing, tensed jawed Johanna and we all agreed.

I wanted a weapon, I felt less then useless with nothing in my hands, and we had to take advantage of the Careers being elsewhere. Even so I was fairly certain they would be watching us, doing the same as Johanna and I had that first day, darting to the beach to check.

They were outnumbered, although barely, seven of us. Three experts with weapons, Peeta who was strong enough, and if I counted myself, which I wasn’t sure about, we were in good shape, even with an injured Beetee.

“I can walk.” He argued against hands that went to reach him, although Wiress’s didn’t leave me.

We headed to the golden horn quite quickly, the group spread out so both the front and back were covered.

It had only been three hours, just about that since they’d found me. I knew if they hadn’t I would have died, there was no way I could have pulled myself out of the water. But there was less of us, us, the Careers, Chaff.

I wasn’t sure how many people were left anymore. I suppose I’d find out in a few hours, when that hot sun finally set.

“Here we go.” Wiress sat down, Beetee joining her and murmuring something to her that made her grab the large coil and sit at the edge in a small rock pool, that familiar song about the mice restarting as she washed it.

“Okay Beetee?” I ask and he nods, waving me away, deep in the shade. It was cooler instantly, and with Wiress singing in the background I dug around the pile of weapons close to Finnick, happy when I discovered another knife belt, and slid it on.

There were less knives but a pouch slightly off to the right, and the medicine fit in easily. “Hey Katniss, something like this would be good for the spile.” I lift my voice a little and she shrugs, too busy gathering more arrows.

In fact everyone was occupied in their own little way and there was a strange sense of calm.

Johanna had found another axe, Finnick was testing the weights of spears, although I knew he had secretly hoped for another trident. Peeta was drawing in the sand, Beetee resting and Wiress singing that little song.

“I’ve never heard that song before.” I commented lightly, only Finnick within earshot.

“Me neither. Must be a Three thing.” He smiles at me and I return it, the blood had been washed from the rocks underfoot and I was glad. Although I could still see exactly where Gloss had grabbed me, where Berg had fallen, a human pincushion.

I refused to go around to the other side.

“Ah, here.” He reappeared from between the piles suddenly, pressing a cool sword into my hand, the metal a gleaming silver.

“Nice.” I replied, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He stretched again and I admired the skin moving over his muscles, drawing my eyes away and slotting the sword into another section of the belt. I undid the one on my thigh, testing my leg. “I’d keep it strapped up, just in-case.” Finnick suggests, and I suddenly realised he’d been watching me. “I could do with it tighter I think.” I mutter more to myself than him but he took the belt, slowly tugging a knife from my other and punching another hole, tongue darting over his lips as they did when he was concentrating hard, crouching to wrap it back around my thigh, his hands soft, fingers so light they tickled.

They spend a little too long on my legs once the belt was tied and he returned the knife, standing just a touch too close, holding my gaze so my stomach bubbled and arousal flushed.

I want to kiss him, more than anything and I felt my feet stretch up onto my tiptoes; his eyes holding mine in that intoxicating way they did. “Y...your greens smudged.” I stopped myself from doing anything more, “It looks better underneath it though.” He looked disappointed by my response and I was disappointed in myself.

But we had to do this, survive this. We needed the sponsors. I hated how often I had to repeat that to myself.

I allow myself to wipe some from close to his mouth, almost feeling his lips in a sort of guilty movement. The smile returns, I could hear Katniss and Peeta discussing the arena and knew I’d be called, now it all makes sense they’ll want me to talk about where I had been again, to work out times to avoid them.

I sigh, my body still aflame with the need for his, shrieking as a loud clang echoes, turning to glare at Johanna who brushes past us, purposefully ruining any hint of a moment and tugging the axe out from the curved wall.

She smiles sarcastically and I feel myself frown, desperate for another drink, all I could taste was salt from the bread and the water surrounding us. It was pretty much all I could smell as well, the water, the heat. I was glad for it because I could only imagine how we all stunk.

It was such a silly thing to worry about.

But it easily swallowed by the others.

There were less of us now, the Careers would either attack of we would have to hunt them down, which was risky. And what then, any hint of the plan I knew little of would ruin it. What would happen when the ‘lovers’ from Twelve decided to turn on us?

Were we just supposed to let them kill us?

I guess we had agreed as much in our own ways.

“So it’s the blood rain, the fog, the monkeys...” I can tell its my cue and squeeze his lower arm gently, doing up the zip on the pouch resting on my waist and adjusting my sandy vest quickly making my way over. “The wave is ten to eleven.”

“The boiling ran will be nine to ten then. I was sorting myself out for quite a while before the wave, so it was definitely that section.”

“What about Chaff’s ghosts?” Katniss asked, and I bite the inside of my lip, desperate for it to click, Johanna and Finnick close behind us.

“He’d been running for a while when we met.”

“And you met in the rain section?” I nod.

“And then, that cannon that went off when we were talking sounded close, so I think whoever it was then was the eight to nine section, so that makes the ghosts seven to eight?” Everyone seemed to think it over but nodded slowly and Peeta marked them off.

“So we know what’s in seven of the twelve then?” Finnick counted, “That’s not bad.”

“Well, it’s a lot more than we knew this morning, anyway.” Peeta concludes with a final smile at me, dropping silent just as we all realise it was now. Just the sounds of the forest, the chirping of strange birds I hadn’t seen or heard before.

It's oddly beautiful if you can look past everything. I didn't even know if there was anywhere in Panem that had such weather, rainforests at all. I only was aware because of books, and those were primarily history ones.

My knees were aching so I went to stand when I saw Katniss turn quickly, her movement fluid.

The arrow strikes Gloss hard in the chest, but it isn’t him I see in that second, it’s Wiress, blood gushing from her thin pale neck, mixing with the salt water as her body slips past his into the deep.

The knife leaves my hand before I was even really aware I had grabbed it, sinking just under his right collarbone. He vanishes into the water but he had just been the beginning.

Suddenly they were all around us, Cashmere, Brutus and Enobaria.

I can barely even comprehend it, that sudden adrenalin kicked in and my body thankfully acts quicker than my mind. Johanna flings her axe, hitting Cashmere right in the chest as Finnick shoves Peeta and I back onto the rough ground. I spin on my side, avoiding a spear that clatters past us, the clang still in the air from where it had hit against Finnick’s trident.

“Elenia!” Peeta yells, grabbing the tops of my arms and dragging them back as I saw a knife moving in slow motion, slicing over Finnick’s thigh and landing close to us.

I shake Peeta of hardf, I couldn’t see Katniss or Johanna anymore, Beetee had barely moved and Peeta instead rushes to him as my fingers find the weapon, clambering to my feet in an instant and flinging it at my target, satisfied when it plunges deep into her arm just before she too vanishes from my view, Finnick afterwards, nearly slipping around the Cornucopia.

I gasp a little, oxygen finally flooding down my wind pipe.

“Okay?” I ask, Peeta and Beetee nodding. I could hear the yelling of my other allies, and also the last rasping breaths of Cashmere. I run over there awkwardly, kneeling beside her, sharp rocks scratching my bony knees through the thin fabric.

“Cashmere.” The axe was wedged deep between her breasts, the red soaking over my hands before I gripped hers. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I was upset.

I shouldn’t be, she was my enemy. She would have killed me.

But the fear in her face, the way each vein became visible as her skin paled hurt. Before this, every time she had been nice to me, pleasant when she didn’t have to be.

“I’m sorry.” Another cannon shot sounded loudly as her chest stopped its struggled rising.

I wait for more, that someone had caught up to the killers from Two but there was nothing.

There was just a creak as Finnick returned round the corner, blood dripping down his thigh, his face pained and angry. I go to step towards him but I’m suddenly jerked sideways, body slamming against the ground as the Cornucopia begins to move, to spin.

My yelp is caught in the movement and I see Cashmere’s body fling into the water, my fingers claws trying to keep a grip. The equipment and weapons started to slip as the spinning grew faster and the laws of physics took over.

Peeta spilled not far from me, I shriek his name as the box Beetee had been sitting on lifted, bouncing fast towards him. He flings himself onto his back, losing about half a metre but avoiding the metal. I have to do the same, curling my feet at an odd angle on slight ridges, words whipped away.

“Elle!” I hear him after weapons flew past, a spear far too close to me for comfort. I twist my head, Finnick hadn’t fallen far from me but I’d been distracted, although I grab for his outstretched arm.

I can’t breathe properly, the water, disturbed by the jagged rocks is spraying us but he suddenly wrenches me sideways as he darts to avoid something that causes a loud thud, pining me down with his body, protecting me from anything else.

I scramble for foot holes again, feeling the force trying to drag me into that water. It’s almost a guaranteed death sentence, there’s no sense of space, you could be smashed into rocks that would break bones and rupture organs, dragged under by currents the spinning mass was creating.

I grip on tight and as suddenly as it started it’s over, leaving me breathing in short rapid bursts under neath him, my knees and elbows stinging. He nodds at me wordlessly, his chest heavy on my own, “That was...”

“Yeah.” He manages, pushing himself up and offering me a hand that's squeezes just a little too tight, trailing over my shoulders as I look around. Katniss and Johanna reappear quickly, both coughing a little and I help Peeta up who looks undamaged, just red and coated in the spray as we all are.

There was no Beetee.

“Beetee?”

Everyone’s heads turned frantically before he's spotted and Finnick had dived into the water towards his struggling older body.

“Your hands.” Peeta says carefully, Johanna stepping forward as Katniss too disappeared, wanting cover. I glanc at them, they're wet but that isn’t the issue, blood was smeared up them, diluted and in patches. Cashmere’s blood. My stomach twists and I feel myself start to gag although I slam my forearm over my mouth, determined not to be sick.

Instead the tears prickled instead and I tore away from Peeta’s concerned face, storming to a pool of water carved in the rocks, it was where Wiress had crouched, died. The blood had been flushed out with the movement and I dip my hands in, there wasn’t the sting I was expecting but I didn’t care.

I had to have it off of me, now. I leant over, the water settling as Finnick returned, Beetee coughing as he sat heavily down, spluttering water.

In the distance, about half way to the beach the hovercraft stopped, that set of clamps lowering and lifting Wiress up. I watched her go, and then it travelled a little, stopping for Cashmere, her blonde hair dangling gently, catching in the weak breeze.

It moved behind us for Gloss and I didn’t follow it.

My face felt tight, stretched from trying to keep my emotions in, and worse, as I realise when I looked properly at my face, because her blood was a streak along my already scratched cheek. The churning started again and I stand, unclipping the belt and dropping it on the rocks, choosing a spot and diving in.

Nobody said anything that I heard before the water muted it out.

It wasn’t cold, but it was cool, that gently rhythmic swell I knew so well. I pushed myself deeper, further out with ease. I couldn’t even believe that earlier that day I’d been worried about it, about something that was home to me. The feel of the water, hurting my arms a little but no more than if it was sunburnt on those days I stayed out far too long in far too little.

Before the games, the first games.

I open my eyes, the salt water still irritated them after a while, but I don’t know if it was something you grew accustomed to as children or if somehow the people in Four had been bred to thrive in the sea, not to let it damage such sensitive things so easily.

I could see what they had meant now, about the food, shoals of bright fish, some names hit me instantly, darting around me as if there hadn’t been such a huge shift. There was seaweed that danced as I pushed towards it, coral even, a dark pink, darker than the sky and rough to the touch. I could feel my hair around me, I felt free.

Water was a completely different world. But it was my world.

I closed my eyes, just resting there, releasing my breath slowly to stop me floating up to the surface until it was almost painful and I knew my time was up. I had to break that gentle barrier, face what had just happened. Cashmere dying in my arms, Gloss, sweet deluded Wiress.

Wiress had always been some sort of foreshadowing for me. Of how I could end up.

That felt like another lifetime, out of the arena, the last five years a dream.

I kick up to the surface, breaking it slowly, feeling the heat of the sun on my head instantly as I trod water to keep afloat, pushing my hair back out of my face. I took a few deep breaths, my mind felt a lot clearer, the adrenalin pounding through my limbs had lessened.

I was almost relaxed, which was ridiculous given the circumstances.

I checked my hands over again, her blood was underneath a nail and I picked at it until there was nothing. Everyone else was back at the Cornucopia, they don’t seem to be talking whatsoever.

Finnick’s standing, eyes on me, Peeta and Katniss are entwined, not with passion but loss whilst Beetee and Johanna are sitting, her axe hitting in sharp flicks on the rocks.

I had to swim back over and deal with this.

Another three down.