'Cause I've Got You

After cuddling with Sid on the couch, sobbing most of the time out of worry for my mom, I called Kaitlyn and told her that I was here. She squealed in my ear and said she would be here as soon as she could she next morning.

“Don’t you have school? It’s only Thanksgiving back home, y’know.”

“Yeah, I have an afternoon class, but my morning is free.”

I smiled into the phone. “Okay, perfect. I’ll see you in the morning. Text me when you’re leaving. You know where Sid’s house is, right?”

“Kris can tell me. He can drop me off before the boys go to morning skate.”

“Okay. I hate to make this call short, but I’m exhausted. Had a long, long day. We have lots to talk about tomorrow.”

We exchanged goodbyes and hung up. I sighed and looked over at Sid. “You think I should tell her?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s up to you. I mean, you haven’t really let it sink in yourself.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “I just don’t get it. Why would she come here before telling me?”

“Are you upset that she’s here?” He asked while raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head frivolously. “No, of course not. I’m glad that she feels she can come to you and that you welcome her with open arms. I just wish she would’ve told me.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “She obviously has a reason. Now that you’re both here, you can talk,” he whispered softly into my hair.”But promise me something, okay?”

“Hmm…” I responded squeezing his hand to let him know that I was listening.

“Please don’t worry about this the whole time you’re here. You’re here to celebrate Thanksgiving with people who love you. Be thankful for that, don’t dwell on it.”

I snuggled closer into him. “I love you, you know that?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, “I love you, too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next morning

I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. I saw that my mom was already up. I gave her a small smile and she returned an even smaller one.

“I’m sorry,” I heard her whisper.

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

She slowly walked over to me and placed a hand on my arm. “Yes I do. I should’ve talked to you about this before I came here. I just didn’t want you to worry. I know it’s a lot to handle, but I figured you had a lot on your plate with you and Sid being in two different countries while you’re in school.”

I slowly nodded and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’d really like to hear the whole story.”

“You deserve that.”

“I’m going out with Kaitlyn this morning. Can we talk when I get back?”

She nodded with a smile. “Of course, sweetheart. I have an appointment at 3:30, though.”

“Okay. I try not to be too long.”

I gave my mom a light kiss on the cheek and then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Is Kaitlyn going to come in? I’d love to see her.”

I looked over at my mom, who had a somewhat longing look in her eyes.

“I’m not sure, Mom. The boys have practice, so Kris was just going to drop her off then we were going to go for coffee.”

“Oh,” she looked down. “Okay.”

“Mom,” I reached out, she pulled back from me.

“No, I get it. I just didn’t think me having cancer would make you ashamed of me.”

“Mom, it’s not like that and you know it. I just…haven’t told her yet. I’m still letting in sink in myself.”

I heard my mom sigh. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound rude, I just…we’ll talk later. I’ll be in my room.” She placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I watched her walk into her room and heard footsteps come down the stairs. I looked and saw Sid standing there.

“How much did you hear?”

He walked down and pulled me into his chest. “She’s fighting with this just as much as you are.”

“More than me, actually.”

“You’re right, more than you. But, you gotta look at it where she’s coming from. Like you said, you haven’t heard the whole story.”

I pulled away and lightly slapped him on the arm. “So, you were up there the whole time?”

He just smirked at me. “You two needed to have that moment. I didn’t want to ruin it for you.”

“You’re something else sometimes, Crosby, you know that?”

He smirked. “Some call me the next big thing, but y’know.”

We heard a horn honk outside. “That must be Kris. Thankfully, he gets to deal with your ego all day and not me.”

In response, I got a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek and my coat thrown over my head.

“You ruined my hair, you jerk.”

He stuck his tongue out at me. “You love me.”

“Someone has to.”

We walked out of the house and I was crushed by a pair of arms and a squeal in my ears. Pulling away, I screamed again. I heard chuckles beside me and turned to see Kris and Sid laughing at our reunion.

“What? You’ve never seen two best friends reunite before?”

I looped arms with Kaitlyn and we headed over to Kris’ car. He and Sid went to the arena in Sid’s Range Rover. Kaitlyn and I made our way to a local coffee shop. We sang to the radio at the top of our lungs and it as if we had never been apart for a day. When we walked into the shop and sat down, I knew I had to tell her about my mom. I just didn’t know how to start. Luckily, she started the conversation.

“So, how’s the great white North?”

I laughed at her question. “It’s alright I guess. How’s Pittsburgh treating you?”

“Oh, you know, handsome boyfriend, shitty roommate, school work up my ass. Typical college life.”

I smirked. “Yeah, I wish I could say the same.”

“No, you don’t. My roommate is a psycho. Not only that, she’s a Flyers fan.”

I cringed at her words. “Oh no, I’m sorry. Does she know about you and Kris?”

She nodded. “Oh yeah, she knows. Tries to use it against me every time I screw up or leave something the wrong way in our room. Believe me, she knows. Of course, it didn’t help when Kris came up to the dorm unexpectedly.”

“He did?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “Yeah, and Maria, that’s the bitch’s name, by the way, gave him an earful.”

I scoffed. “She’s got some nerve, doesn’t she?”

“You got that right.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate. “So, what happened to family thanksgivings?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, I still kinda get that.” I swallowed hard before continuing, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy. “My mom is here.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes went wide. “What?! When did she get here? Did she come with you?”

I shook my head. “No, she came here before me. She’s staying with Sid for a while.”

“Is this like a ‘momma needs to get to know boyfriend better’ thing?”

Again, I just shook my head. “No, it’s because she can get the best treatment here.”

“Treatment? What do you mean, treatment?”

“She’s got cancer, Kait.”

I watched her face fall as the word ‘cancer’ left my mouth.

“Oh my god, Steph. I’m so sorry. Is she….is it…?”

“I don’t know. She has an appointment today at 3:30. I haven’t heard the whole story, myself. We’re gonna talk more before she goes.”

Kaitlyn let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through her hair. “Geez, well, I hope it’s not too far along and she can be treated fast.”

“Me too.”

The feeling of the conversation went south after that, almost to a dull silence. When we were finished our drinks, we got back into the car. As soon as Kaitlyn shut her door, she broke down. I reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I’m sorry. I was trying my best to hold it in.”

I could feel the tears that I had been holding in begin to fall. “It’s okay, I’ve been trying to hold it in to. I can’t look at her and wonder, the next time I see her may be when she’s in a casket. I’m scared to death.”

Kaitlyn reached over and pulled me into a tight hug. “She’s gonna get through this. As long as she’s here, I promise I’ll come by and check on her every couple of days and give you an update, okay? And when the boys are gone on road trips, I’ll come to Sid’s house and spend that time with her.”

“She’d like that, and so would I.”

We both pulled away, wiped our eyes the best we could, and put our seatbelts on. When we pulled up to Sid’s house, I turned to Kaitlyn.

“You wanna come in and say hi to her?”

She nodded slowly. “I’ll only take a minute. I know that you two have to talk.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sid’s POV

While at morning skate, Max skated over to me.

“So, I hear your girl is in town.”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, she is. It’s more of a family thing, though.”

“Oh? Are you having Canadian Thanksgiving at your house?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just...” I hesitated before I kept going, not sure if I should tell him or not. “Her mom is staying with me.” Max’s eyebrow arched and I couldn’t hold back my glare. “Stop thinking that. She’s here for….treatment.”

His face fell, clearly getting what I was talking about.

“I’m sorry, dude. That’s gotta be rough.”

I nodded. “I’m worried about Steph, though. She just found out and her mom has hardly talked to her at all about it.”

He put a glove covered hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll get through it. She is dating you, the girls got some guts to sink that low.”

I chuckled lightly at his smirk and lightly slugged him in the shoulder.

“Hey!---Wait, who do I tell when I get abused by my captain?”

“Suck it up, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steph’s POV

After Kaitlyn left, my mom and I finally had some time to talk. She sat down on the couch and patted the cushion beside her. I slowly sunk into it and looked over at her.

“So…”

She sighed. “Where do you want me to start?”

“When?”

“Well, like I told you, I had found out when I got the results of the mammogram I had done just before you left.”

I sighed. “You told me that. I mean, but when did you get the results?”

“Please, sweetie, don’t be mad. I was just trying to make sure you wouldn’t worry.”

“Mom,” I let out a nice, long breath. “Just, tell me when.”

“Two days after you left.”

I could feel anger rise inside me. I know that I shouldn’t be mad, because she had my best interest at heart, but I was angry nonetheless. I had reason to be.

“And you didn’t think to call me then? I still had a month before school started. I could’ve stayed with you.” I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes. “I could’ve done something. You shouldn’t have been alone.”

She grabbed my hands and held them in hers. “Oh, honey I wasn’t alone. I had your brother with me. He took me to all of my appointments. And I had you.” She placed a hand over her heart, “right here.”

I let the tears fall freely. “Mom, I just wish I could’ve done something.”

“You’re here now, aren’t you?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but it might be..”

“Don’t say that,” she cut me off. “The doctors here have a good outlook on this. Sure, I’m weak now, but I’ll get stronger. You’ll see.”

I pulled her into a hug and let the tears fall onto her sweater. She rubbed my back and began to sing the song she used to calm me down when I was young.

Quand le soleil dit bonjour aux montagnes,
Et que la nuit rencontre le jour.
Je sui seule avec mes reves sur la montagne,
Une voix me rapelle toujours.
Ecoute a ma porte les chansons du vent,
M'rapelle les souvenirs de toi
Quand le soleil dit bonjour aux montagnes
Je suis seule, je ne veux penser qu'a toi

I pulled away and with tears still in my eyes, I joined in singing softly.

Now when the sun says good-day to the mountains
And the night says hello to the dawn
I'm alone with my dreams on the hilltop
And I can still hear his voice though he's gone
I hear from my door the love songs through the wind
It brings back sweet memories of you.
Quand le soleil dit bonjour aux montagnes
Je suis seule, je ne veux penser qu'a toi.

Once the song was finished, I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek.

“Can I come with you to your appointment?”

I could feel a little bit of the weight lift off of my shoulders and a small smile crept on my face. I was hoping after the appointment, I could look at this with a more positive outlook and won’t be afraid to leave here when I go back to Halifax.