Just Stay

It was he who was the first to notice the beginning of what most people would call "the feelings". The months they spent emailing, texting, Skyping and at the rare moments talking on the phone, had created this sort of pull, a sort of comfortable reliability that they had come to enjoy with this friendship that had formed between the two.

He came to find that he could talk to her about anything and everything that he would typically cover up or hide from the others around him. He spoke all about his fears stemming from his lack of work or his failed auditions. His anxiety over the new play set to open in just a few short weeks and his hopes that sooner or later his big break would come and all the while she was there listening.

Talia always listened, always supported him and his endeavors. She was quick to offer him heartfelt and kind words when he was feeling down and out on his luck or words of encouragement when he was nervous and jittery. She was the piece of his complex puzzle that had been missing.

It wasn't just Matt who relied on Talia. The friendship worked in vice versa as well. Matt found himself sometimes calming a stressed Talia who had so much on her plate at work and very little time to get everything settled or at times an upset or angry Talia who had just gotten back from a weekend with her family. And he would be there to remind her of all the reasons she loved her job or offer his complete understanding of what the weekend with her family had done.

The pair who had met on such a normal day, in a normal bookshop and he who had come to realize his changing feelings when unexpected words came from her one night, flipping his world upside down.

"I have a date."

"I'm sorry, you have a what?"

Talia laughed, a small smile tugging the corner of her lips up just a bit. "I said, 'I have a date'."

Matt stayed silent, more like he was stunned silent by the feeling of his heart dropping into his stomach, something that surprised him. And she noticed.

"Matty? Will you say something please? You've been quiet for quite some time."

"Right," He said with a shake of his head. "Sorry, you caught me off guard. That's great Tali, I bet you're excited. Who’s the lucky guy?"

"His name is Luke; he used to work at the hospital as a pediatric doctor. I am excited, but I'm also really nervous. I mean, what if it goes horrible? What if I get something stuck in my teeth or trip and fall?" She asked, her hands placed on either side of her face, a look of fear came over her.

Matt laughed. "Then you laugh it off and keep going."

"But Matty," Talia whined with a laugh before sighing. "I haven't been on a date in over a year, what if he tries to kiss me and I find out I forgot how to kiss?"

'Would he try to kiss her? Of course he would, he's a doctor. A doctor named Luke. Who names their son 'Luke'?' He thought bitterly, his stomach turning at the thought of Talia, his Talia, kissing some bloke.

"I'm sure you'll be fine and up to snuff on your kissing skills, Tali," He replied a forced smile on his lips. "Besides, isn't it more of a gentleman thing to wait till after the first date to kiss? I mean, what if he's an arse?"

Talia laughed. "Good point. But god, I hope he tries to kiss me."

And his sunk just that much deeper.

*****

"Oi, mate, aren't you due to be home talking to Talia on Skype right about now?" Arthur asked taking a seat across from Matt at a pub later that week. He needed to get out, he couldn't stay at home knowing that any time now she would be out with him and so there he sat, pint in hand.

"No," He shook his head. "She's on a date." He said trying to keep his face void of any feelings.

"Really? Good for her!"

Matt's eyes locked onto Arthur's, narrow and cold. "'Good for her'? Really? What if he hurts her? Or if he tries to do something and she isn't ready? What is he treats her horribly?"

Arthur took in the now clear faced friend that sat before him.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because she's my best mate." He retorted.

"But she's just your mate, isn't she?"

"Yes, of course why are you asking me that again?"

Arthur placed his arms on the table before him leaning forward. "Because mate, you are acting like she means a lot more to you than just being your best mate."

"Ha!" He laughed his face turning away from the man across from him. "You're ridiculous."

"Am I?" Arthur questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, you are. You are completely mental."

"So you are telling me that you feel NOTHING but friendship for that woman, that beautiful, smart, caring and amazing woman that you been talking to for over 6 months now. No, not just talking in the regular sense like you talk to me or Alex. You talk to her, Talia, everyday and you are going to sit there and tell me you feel nothing but friendship for her."

Matt locked eyes with Arthur, the battle of who would look away began, but he didn't falter. "Yes, that's what I am saying."

Arthur shook his head, his eyes leaving Matt's for just a second. "Then you mate, are the biggest idiot in the entire world."

"Why do you say that?"

Arthur leaned forward with his arms folding in front of him, his voice firm. "Because it's true. Talia is an amazing person and if you haven't noticed that over the past couple of months then it's a lost cause. People do not enter your life randomly just to be mates; they enter your life because usually they are your soul mates. When I first saw her with you that night during the pub crawl I could see it."

"What could you see?" Matt asked quietly.

"How being around her changed you. You were happier and fuller of life. You took care of her and yes, you're a great bloke who takes care of his friends but this was different. Then she left and you acted like a part of you went with her," Arthur stated with a shrug. "Look, I am not saying that it's love or whatever, but it's something. Something I never saw with you and even Alex noticed it. So go ahead and be stupid and ‘friendzone’ her. But don't come crying to me when she calls you because she's found someone and you are bitter and alone and resentful because it will happen," Arthur stood taking one last long look at his troubled friend. "If I were you, I would figure out what exactly I want. Stop ignoring what is right in front of you."

Matt watched Arthur walk from the pub, his words running through his head.

'Stop ignoring what is right in front of you.'

*****

It had been days.

5 days to be more exact since Talia last heard from Matt. She sent him emails, texts, left him voicemails all of which went unanswered and unreturned. She wasn't sure what had happened, what had gone wrong or if he was okay. She knew nothing.

Her date with the self-centered, egotistical and poor excuse of a man known as Luke, which went horrible, it wasn't just that he was more interested in himself or that he asked her to call him "Dr. Luke", it was also that the entire time she was out with him her mind was on Matt.

Matt. Matty. The floppy haired British Oddity that she had grown so accustomed to spending her nights with took up her entire mind. A part of her felt that it was wrong to be out with Luke when she could be home talking to someone much more intelligent and caring, someone who was actually interested in her. And that's when everything fell into place.

Talia, who very rarely developed feelings for the opposite sex, had feelings for the man she met 6 months prior. Once this revelation came about she left "Dr. Luke" at the overly priced restaurant and quickly made her way home where she attempted to call Matt, a call that want directly to voicemail.

At first she convinced herself that he was asleep or busy, that he wasn't directly sending her to voicemail. But as day one turned into two and then three, four and now five, she came to terms that he didn't want to talk to her and she had no idea why.

"You've reached Matt, I can't answer the phone right now so please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks."

"Matt, this is message number...I actually don't know what number this message is. I do know that this is day five of you not answering or returning my calls, I need to know you're okay. So call me, please."

"Still no answer?" Emilie asked taking a seat beside her friend on the train.

"Nope," Talia stated popping the 'p' at the end of the word. "What did I do? Honestly? Was I a bad friend or something? And just when I thought I met someone I could connect with he goes running for the hills. Story of my life."

Emilie ran her hand up and down her friends arm. "I'm sure there is a reason why. Let him come to you."

Talia looked towards her friend, a look of sadness etched on her face. "And if he doesn't?"

Emilie smiled pushing a stray piece of hair behind Talia's ear. "It's British Boy, you know he won't be able to stay away for long."

"I hope so, I really miss him."

"Did you want me to come over?" Emilie asked as they walked from the subway and into the sidewalk.

"No, it's fine," Talia leaned in to hug her friend. "I'll call you later."

"Okay, keep your head up," Emilie smiled. "And remember 'let him come to you'."

Talia laughed nodding. "Got it."

The walk to her apartment building seemed shorter than normal. She preoccupied her mind by reciting poems or songs she knew, by saying the alphabet and signing the alphabet. But even still as she walked into her building, smiling at the security who seemed to smile at her a little different today than all the days before, she prepared herself for another lonely night in where she had only herself to keep her company.

As she got closer to her door she noticed something was leaning against her door. All packages were left downstairs with security so the fact that something was leaning against her door told her something was going on.

Walking up to the door she noticed that it was a bouquet of flowers and taped to them was a package of Jammie Dodgers. Talia looked around trying to see if someone was in the hallway hiding or waiting to surprise her but there was no one.

Picking up the bouquet and English delights, she made her way inside her apartment all the while trying to find a note or letter that would come with the bouquet, but there was nothing. No note, no letter, not even initials that would hint as to who sent them to her or even placed them on her door.

It wasn't until she was in her bedroom to change from her work clothes that she saw the flash of the light that was connected to her inner doorbell of her apartment door, it both surprised and scared her at the same time. Talia wasn't sure if some crazed maniac was stalking her, hell, maybe Luke was pissed from her leaving the date and he was trying to scare her. She didn't know, you never know. Grabbing a baseball bat she kept by her door, she unlocked the door slowly.

Opening the door to her apartment she gasped.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's customary to greet a visitor when you answer your door."

"Well maybe if this 'visitor' hadn't showed up unannounced I wouldn't be so rude."

"What are you going to do? Try to hit a home run with me?"

Talia rolled her eyes placing the bat near the door as she allowed her guest entry.

"You never answered my question," Talia stated locking the door once more.

"And you never gave me a formal greeting; I guess we're both failing miserably at this."

"Matt, you have been ignoring me why should I greet you so nicely?" She questioned moving past him and into the living room.

"I haven't been ignoring you," Matt stated earning him a look from Talia. "Okay, maybe just a bit." He held two fingers just millimeters apart. "But I had my reasons."

"Oh grand! I'm sure they will be absolutely amazing. So why don't you write them in an email or a letter and send them to me."

Matt sighed rubbing his hands on his face. "Talia, look, I am sorry okay? I have been a horrible friend the last couple of days and I am here to make up for it."

"I'm sorry, but did you honestly think that I would be okay with you ignoring me and then showing up at my doorstep? Did you expect me to throw myself into your arms and be happy about that?"

"No," He shook his head, his hair moving around into his eyes. "I knew you wouldn't do that."

"Then why would you come all the way here instead of oh, I don't know, returning my messages?"

"Because what I came here for couldn't be done by returning a message," He replied looking her in the eyes.

"And what is that? What is so important that you had to spend money and fly across the pond?"

He took a deep breath, his thoughts gathering in that moment. "Are you seeing him?" Matt asked.

"Huh? What?" Talia asked confused. "Seeing who?"

"The guy you went on your date with."

"Luke?" Matt nodded. "No because that would have required me to complete the first date with him."

"Okay, good. Wait," Matt paused with a tilt of his head. "You never finished your date with him?"

Talia shook her head taking a seat on her sofa. "No and if you would have answered that night you would have known that."

"So tell me now," He replied taking a seat in front of her on the coffee table, their knees touching.

Talia looked at him and chuckled weakly. "What does it matter?"

"Because I need to know."

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"But why do you need to know? Why do you need to know that? What importance does it play in why-"

"Because I came here to tell you I have feelings for you," Matt interrupted leaving Talia stunned. "Well, that is NOT how I wanted this to go."

"What did you say?" Talia breathed her heart rate quickening as her blood pumped through her veins.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. This was supposed to go a lot better than it has been," Matt stated nervously.

"I don't care about that, say it again."

Matt looked her in the eyes, his green orbs meeting her blue sparkling eyes that always gave away how she was feeling and he felt it. What he was feeling was real. It wasn't jealousy or anger for no apparent reason. What he was feeling was something stronger for her and what it was he wasn't completely sure yet but it held him, his entire being in it's hands in a tight grip. And now as he looked her in the eyes, he knew that no matter what happened next, no matter what her response was, that he admitted his feelings full on and there would be no "what if" moments in his future, not with his Talia.

"I said," He paused taking a deep breath. "I have feelings for you. I came here to tell you because I couldn't say it over the phone or email or Skype. I had to tell you, I had to physically look you I'm the eye when I told you. That's what I've been doing. I've been wrapping my head around this, around telling you and possibly ruining this friendship in the off chance that this completely turned you off of me. But you deserved to know and I understand if you don't feel the same wa-"

"No, shut up," She interrupted.

Matt was taken back. "What? Talia, I'm being honest if you don't feel the same-"

"Shut up."

"Okay, now I am confused. I am just trying to tell you-"

"Oh for Christ sakes," Talia mumbled seconds before she crashed her lips to his. It took Matt seconds to recover from the shock that she was kissing him, her lips pressing to his in a soft gentle kiss that caused him to sigh softly as her hands gently tangled into his hair at the base of his neck.

"So does that mean you don't feel the same?" He asked as his hands rested on her hips, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Talia laughed pulling his hands into hers interlacing their fingers. "Nope, I can't stand you one bit."

"Well that horrible luck then because I am here for the next week."

Talia smile wide, her eyes shining with happiness. "Are you really?"

Matt nodded. "Think you can put up with me for a week?"

"Hmmmm," She said, her face twisting in mock thought. Leaning forward Matt placed his lips onto hers, the softness of his lips meeting hers breaking her from her teasing mood. "Yeah, I think I can handle it."