Remember To Breathe

I really was getting tired of being the center of attention lately. I was grateful that Dane stuck up for me and that he didn't ask any questions whether the rumor was true or not. I didn't even know if it was true or not anymore. With the weekly visits to my psychologist and getting medications prescribed, I wasn't so sure anymore that I was actually becoming what I thought normal was. I don't even want to know why I was brought up in that conversation in the first place. When Dane was finally let back in the school, he picked me up at my house, and we had nothing to say to each other at all. It was strange. I didn't even know why I was so quiet.

"Are you mad?" he asked breaking the silence in a whispered voice. His hands were firmly gripped on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white from waiting for my answer.

"No," I said in a firm voice. "I'm just a little shocked."

His knuckles returned to the normal color they were and he relaxed back into his seat. "I can't even understand why he would be saying things like that."

Everybody already knows that you're practically demented.

I ignored that and looked up at Dane.

"Low self-esteem?" I joked.

He chuckled a bit but then his smile disappeared.

"Listen, if people say anything at all, just come to me." he said. I nodded and he pulled into the parking lot.

"You can go to Forrest too, he'll help."

I let out an obnoxious snort and Dane looked over at me smiling. "What?"

"Forrest is a total ass." I told him and he laughed.

"Your two other girlfriends are jerks also."

"Nate and Andrew?" he asked then smiled again. "Yeah, they deserve whatever you throw at them."

I laughed and got out of the car. Dane followed me and then said, "Forrest is a good guy. You just have to wait."

"Let me guess, he goes to church with Lesley, Regina, and Marissa?" I said and laughed even harder.

"His mom has the Bible in their kitchen."

"I'm hungry, let's go into the cafeteria and get breakfast." I said while silently cursing my alarm clock for making me wake up so late.

When we arrived at the cafeteria, Dane led us over to Forrest, Nate, and Andrew. I went to the toaster near the table while Forrest and Nate were telling Dane the story of how I called Andrew a girl and whatnot. When I got back with my buttered toast I set it down on the table. I remembered that I forgot a napkin so I went back to go get one. To my dismay, my toast was gone when I arrived back at the table.

"My toast." I muttered slightly sad while my stomach grumbled.

I looked up to see Nate eating it and laughing. I sighed and went back to go make more toast. This time I came back with a napkin, and my new toast that now had orange marmalade on it. I was just about to eat it until Andrew called my name and Forrest quickly took both pieces from my plate.

"You're a bitch." I sighed, aiming my insult to affect both Nate and Forrest.

"Thanks for the toast, Mari." Forrest said while spewing crumbs at me.

I quickly wiped the crumbs off my shirt while frowning. "Gross,"

They both smiled and I looked over to Dane. "Nice people, my ass."

With this said they all started laughing until Nate started to speak up. "She's alright, Dane."

"She's my best friend." Dane laughed while he put his arm around my shoulder.

I pushed off his arm and started to grumble as I walked back to the front of the cafeteria and got a small bowl of cereal. I came back and placed four spoons in front of them, with another one in my own hand. They all looked up at me and I sighed. "If you're going to eat my food, you're not using my spoon."

Nate smirked and put his hand in the bowl. "I don't use spoons ever."

"You're disgusting," I said and pushed the bowl forward towards him.

He shrugged and continued to eat the cereal.

Forrest grimaced at Nate's actions and then turned to Andrew. "Do you still like that girl you were talking about?"

"Oh yeah, what classes do you guys share?" Dane asked.

"She's in my art class and my physics class." Andrew replied in a daze.

My eyes widened. This sounded very familiar.

"I don’t think she likes me." he said sadly. I almost felt bad for him.

"Is her name Audrey?" I asked him and his eyes lit up.

"Do you know her?" he asked and I nodded.

"This is really going against me being mean to you, but she just told me yesterday that she likes you." I said and Dane smiled at me.

Andrew laughed with joy and got out of his seat. "You are the greatest person ever!"

"Strange, but okay." I said and Dane laughed.

"I'm going to go find her." he said and ran out of the cafeteria.

I smiled and Dane looked at me. "You ready to go?"

I nodded and we left the cafeteria. When we got to my classroom Dane was grinning really widely and I looked at him. "I told you they could be nice."

"Yeah, who knew?" I joked, actually surprised that they acted like normal people for once. I was sure that it was just a hoax, and they would be cruel when Dane wasn't around. Dane left and my first class passed very quickly and no exciting news, with the exception of learning that Andrew had asked Audrey out on a date. And with no surprises, she said yes.

The only thing that was surprising me was all the people talking now. I didn't think anyone really knew what happened besides me, Dane, and his teammates. Then again, the people on his team are almost as bad as the girls here were when it came to gossiping. Even as I was entering my classroom, there was nonstop chatter of everything that was going on in school today.

Two girls in the corner were laughing as their friend was talking about a fight today. "Did you see the way Melanie hit her boyfriend with that Pepsi bottle?"

They laughed harder until the other girl changed the subject, unfortunately.

"It almost tops Dane hitting that sophomore."

I told you they knew.

I ignored it.

I had a feeling that they knew I was there, on account that after she said that all three of them looked up at me. And then I started to hear everyone else start talking about it. They all had there own versions of the story. Thankfully, nobody actually knew why. After they all finished talking, they all looked up at me, as if they were all expecting that I was going to yell at them or something. I was above that, though. I could act like a normal person.

How can you be normal if you're already insane?

I couldn't help it.

"Shut up," I said to nobody in particular. That was the third time I broke my promise to myself, but every time I did it, I felt less guilty about it.

"What'd you say?" Jillian asked from behind me. I jumped and I turned to smile at her.

"Nothing."

"God, those girls are annoying." Jillian commented about the three girls in the corner of our World Studies classroom. Mr. Fields walked in and glared at the three girls until they returned to their original seats.

He cleared his throat and looked over at me. "Miss Hastings, you're wanted in the Student Services' Office."

I nodded and walked out the open door and into the hallway. I looked back at Jillian, but she was turned to the front and listening to whatever Mr. Fields was talking about. I continued to walk, looking down at the floor. I was too involved with watching the floor tiles, that I didn't even notice that I passed the Student Services' Office. I turned around and I came face to face with somebody.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked.

"Student Services." I replied, trying to make the conversation as quick as possible.

"Don't," was all he said. I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed.

"What would I do, then?"

He started to walk away and then he turned around and smiled.

"Walk with me."

Surprisingly, I complied, and for the next hour I was walking around with Forrest White, talking about anything that popped in our heads. Fortunately, we had a lot of things to talk about. As much as I didn't really like him, I wanted to know more about him.

"Who is your favorite music artist?"

"Johnny Cash." he replied casually.

"Favorite artist artist?" I asked.

"Frida Kahlo." he said, smiling as if looking back on memories.

I was grateful that he was being so open and not questioning me.

It seemed like he was just reading my mind. He turned to me and said, "I don’t know anything about you, so now it's time for your twenty questions."

"Shoot," I told him and he went into thought.

"Do you like comedy or horror movies?"

"That's a tough one." I said and I made a pro and con list in my head.

He waited for my answer as we continued walking. It was a difficult decision, but I then had my answer. "Horror, if there's only a moderate supply of gore with it."

"That was a very specific answer." he smirked and I scoffed.

"Would you like me to lie to from now on?"

He laughed and asked looked ahead of us. "What's your favorite band?"

"I don't think you've heard of them." I told him.

"You'd be surprised," he said. "Say it."

"Tokyo Police Club."

He was silent for a minute and then he turned to me. "I haven't heard of them."

I laughed and we turned around to go back to my class after hearing the bell ring.

"What's your favorite flower?"

"I like daisies." I admitted and he cracked a wide grin.

"You're such a girl."

"You're mean."

"How in the world am I a mean person?" he asked, sounding slightly offended.

We reached my now empty class and I walked inside and grabbed my bag and then homework assignment from Mr. Fields. I came back and faced him. "You ate my toast."

He laughed at my fake pout and turned around. "We have to go to the music room."

"Why?" I asked trying to hide my curiosity.

"So I can get my stuff from there." he simply said and I followed him.

"You're in Music Appreciation, with Dylan, right?" I said in a questioning voice and he nodded.

"Stalking me now, Mari?"

"Only in my spare time." I said as we reached the room. He rose and eyebrow at me and repeated this action towards him. After mimicking him several times, we were near tears laughing, and this struck many people around us into confusion. Dylan looked up from his guitar and smiled at the both of us.

"See you at lunch, Mari."

I waved at him and Forrest and I started to head to our English room. It seemed like the room was farther away because all I heard were people talking about us.

"I thought she had a thing with Dane."

"That's why he got into that fight in the first place."

"But now she's with Forrest?"

The voices were getting louder now, and I'm sure that Forrest could hear them too.

"I thought they could both do better."

"Honestly, she's like, some sort of hermit."

By the time we reached the door to our English room, Forrest looked tense and I looked up at him.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

He smiled at me and we both entered the classroom. Everybody that was there looked up at us and now I was the one to tense up. It seemed like they voices were getting louder and louder in my head, but in reality they were hushed voices, only meant to be heard by certain people. We walked over to our table and Andrew and Nate looked back at us and started to talk to Forrest about lacrosse. All I could hear were the people talking, but to me, it was if they were all yelling directly at me.

Forrest noticed that I was stiff in my seat and Nate and Andrew had turned around. He leaned down and I looked up at him, as he brushed his chestnut hair away from his eyes. "Just ignore them, you'll be fine."

I took his advice and took a deep breath and relaxed. I smiled at him as all the voices became distant whispers.