Remember To Breathe

The temperature was surprisingly cool today, it was almost near the beginning of April, and the sun was peaking out through the solemn clouds. I inhaled the glorious smells of the outdoors and ventured outside. It was a quiet Saturday morning, and I had devoted today to being outside in the fresh air. I had invited Dane to walk around my street, but he quickly declined. I didn't know why, but since Thursday, Dane had been acting strange. Although I had no right to judge him based on how I acted everyday.

That was yet another reason to be outside of my house. Dr. Santori had suggested that spending time alone outside would give me a chance to clear out my thoughts. I willingly took that advice; I wanted to be normal again. I didn't like having mood swings everyday, and I certainly didn't like the fact that I was hearing voices in my subconscious other than my own. And luckily for patient-doctor confidentiality, I was able to tell Dr. Santori about my problem, and he gave me his word that he wouldn’t tell my parents unless I wanted them to know. And that was the last thing I wanted for them to know.

After focusing my attention from personal to the actual outside, I took notice of all of my surroundings. The beauty of the nature was so intoxicating, I didn't even realize that my phone had been ringing for quite a while. I looked at the front of the phone to see an unrecognizable number.

I wasn't so sure on who it could be, but I answered it anyway. "Hello?"

"Mari, it's Forrest." he said over the phone.

I hid my miniscule smile from nobody and continued to walk down the street. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I could detect some sort of emotion in his voice, and I was positive that it was no form of jubilance. "It's Dane, he's not talking to me at all."

"Yeah, he's been acting a little weird lately."

"It's not just that, he's like this every year."

"Well, I think I might know why, but I really can't talk now."

He gave out an exasperated sigh and said goodbye before hanging up the phone.

I had noticed his strange patterns every year, but he never really told me why he was always so upset around this time of the year. When we were friends, I never questioned him on it, but I always wondered why he hid so many things from me. I figured it was something he wouldn't tell anybody; and I was right. If Forrest had no clue, I didn't think anybody would.

As I continued to walk down the street, my mind wandered over to Dane again. I had promised myself that I wouldn't get too involved with others' problems, especially if they didn't want anybody knowing about them in the first place. I couldn't help it, though. Every time I would think of something, it would somehow connect to Dane. I convinced myself that the only way I'd be able to focus back on myself for once would be if I knew why Dane was forcing himself into isolation.

I quickly changed my direction toward Dane's street. It took about fifteen minutes to finally get to his house and when I arrived, there was nobody there. I was about to turn around until I saw a quick movement of curtains in one of the windows. I cautiously walked toward the front door and knocked on the front door. I waited for a few seconds and nobody came. I was about to knock again but the door slowly opened to reveal a rather familiar man standing in the door way. He stood a good six feet, maybe higher. He had dark brown hair and reading glasses perched on his nose. He was also quite lanky and he looked very youthful.

"Mr. Montgomery." I greeted him with happiness.

"Mariana Hastings! It seems like you've been gone forever." he greeted me with a hug that lifted me off of my feet. Although he was skinny, he was incredibly strong.

"Do you know where Dane is?" I asked after he put me back down on the ground.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked behind him. "I do, Mariana. But I really believe that he'd prefer to be alone right now."

I was about to speak but he beat me to it. "All I can say is wait. Wait for him to tell you why."

His eyes looked tired and they clashed with his bright looking smile. He looked composed, but if you said the wrong thing, he would break down right in front of you. I nodded, trying to understand what he said. It was probably best if I waited.

I waved at him as he closed the door and started to walk back home.

He sighed and started to walk down the stairs, looking at all of the memories plastered on the wall. He felt great sorrow inside of him and continued to keep it inside. He opened the curtain more careful than before only to see her figure getting smaller as she continued down the quiet street. He hated how he couldn't tell her anything, even though he wanted to so badly. Whenever he tried to tell her, the words never came out. He sighed then turned around and walked into the kitchen where he saw his father making lunch for the two of them.

"I already visited her this morning, do you want to go by yourself after lunch?" his father asked as he sat down at the table.

He nodded and slowly walked toward the table also and began to eat in silence.

"You're going to have to tell her soon." his father said breaking the silence.

He nodded again and looked back at the hallway leading upstairs. He stared somberly at the wall that held everything dear to him. He looked at the pictures; the memories. He'd have to tell her. Eventually.

When I got home, it was near two in the afternoon. I didn't want to bug Dane, Jillian was at her soccer game, Audrey was on her date, and Phoebe and Dylan were on a family camping trip. The only thing that came to mind was to just take another walk. I headed back out the door again, and started walking a different route. I never waked this way, so I really didn't know where I was going. I looked up at the rusted street sign that read, 'Baltimore Way'. Somehow, the name Baltimore rang some sort of bell but I still didn't know exactly. I continued walking down the street.

The sky was still bright, but all of the houses around here looked dismal. I kept on walking, remembering the way back to my house. I continued to try and remember how I could be connected with Baltimore Way in any way. I was about to turn around until my phone rang again. I looked at the caller I.D. and recognized the number as Dane's.

Before I could even greet him, he began speaking. "Where are you?"

"Baltimore Way." I answered him and he was silent. I had thought that he had disconnected with me until I heard him clear his throat.

"Okay, bye." He hung up.

Strange.

"Extremely," I muttered in agreement.

I suppose you're going to go snoop around some more?

"Oh, shut up." I snapped both to myself and the annoyance that wouldn't leave me.

I decided to finally turn around after noticing the sky's color was becoming as dark as the houses were. As I was heading back to my street, I had noticed something I didn't see before. It was odd that I hadn't noticed it on my way here. I looked up at the rusting gate and the words above it. It took me a minute or so before I could fully read it. Baltimore Cemetery.

I could've passed it off as just a regular cemetery, but there was something different about it. It struck me odd that I had never seen it before, but it felt important to me in a sense. I walked up to the open gates and walked along the walkway. The walkway soon lead to a fork and I chose to go left. As I went further down the paved walkway, the sky was getting darker although it was only three in the afternoon. I was just about to turn back until I saw a figure move towards a tombstone. I could barely make out who the mysterious man was, so I walked further toward the tombstones near him. I tried to stay hidden, but that didn't work so well. I was about twenty feet away from him, but I had tripped over a rock protruding from the ground.

That's what you get from snooping.

The figure looked up and I could feel my mouth becoming agape. He walked over to where I fell and leaned down to meet my eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I felt this strange feeling when I walked by here, so I went in."

He smiled a little bit, but his demeanor quickly changed back to being dismal. "Come with me."

He lead me back to the tombstone he was at and when we arrived at the designated spot I read the name to myself.

Gabriella Anne Montgomery
B. 26 October 1964
D. 4 April 2005
A loving wife, mother, and daughter.

I looked up to meet his gaze. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. So many thoughts were rushing through my head. I wondered if this was the reason why he stopped talking to me. I wondered how he could keep this from me. I thought that we were friends again, and that he could've at least told me, so I didn't have to find out this way.

As all these thoughts were going through my head, I mentally slapped myself. I was being selfish and conceited. Dane was the one that needed to be consoled. I looked back at the tombstone then at him and hugged him. We were silent and he started to shake a little. When we let go, there were tears in his eyes and I felt like crying also. It was strange to see anybody break down like this and I was never good at making people feel better.

After he had finished talking to his mother, we left the cemetery and we found the nearest park bench and we both sat down.

He cleared his throat and looked at me. "It's been three years, today."

I nodded solemnly. He began to talk again. "I never told you, because in the beginning of freshmen year, you were having problems of your own. You didn't need to deal with it, so after she died, I just closed down for a few months. Over that summer, I met Forrest and he just made me forget about everything. And you reminded me so much of her, I couldn't handle it."

I was almost near tears now, I didn't know how I could never notice this. After another hour of talking, he dropped me off at my house and I gave him another hug and left. I went up to my room and read for a few hours. Before I went into my peaceful slumber, I said a few words of grace for Mrs. Montgomery.

After he walked back into his home his father was in the living room, completing a crossword puzzle. He finished eating his supper and went up to his room. He looked out at the sky and just as the moon was beginning to rise, the dismal grey that was once in the sky had started to clear. The sky was now filled with peace and as his eyes were beginning to close, he could almost swear he could hear a soothing voice talking to him, filling him with sweet memories.