Teenage Dirtbag

Jack's POV
​​​The further I was driving away from Tay’s apartment, the more I wanted to turn around and go back there. I didn’t exactly know why but I felt like watching one of these movies with her. Was it because I knew she liked me? And because that made me feel special after I’d been feeling down and rather useless for weeks while I was "dating" Aimee?
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​​​​​If that was indeed the case, I couldn’t act on these “feelings” as it wasn’t fair to lead Tay on. How was I supposed to know where these feelings came from and why I was feeling them, but more importantly, what did they mean? I didn’t actually like Tay right?
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​​​​​“Breaking up” with Aimee was probably just fucking with my mind. And yet, here I was, fighting the urge to turn around and drive back to Tay’s with every inch of my body. I sighed and pulled over, as I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings, which was rather dangerous when driving. What was I going to do?
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​​​​​The first thing that came to mind was to call Haley and ask her what to do. Then again, I knew what she’d say. She would tell me to go home instead of fucking with Tay’s feelings. And I would know she would be right, but how was I gonna found out what these feelings meant if I didn’t hang out with Tay? Being around her had to be the best way to find out whether these feelings were sincere or just caused by my loneliness and self-loathing.
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​​​​​I started my car again, looking in the rearview mirror. Cars were nowhere to be seen, so I pulled onto the driveway, turned my car around and drove back to the place I left only a few minutes ago.

​​​Within a few more minutes I drove onto their driveway again. I took a look at the DVDs lying on the passenger seat and grabbed The Holiday, as Tay said she thought it was really good. Since she didn’t make any comments about the other two, I figured this to be her favorite. I took a deep breath and got out, suddenly nervous. Why was I so nervous about hanging with a friend?
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​​​​​I honestly didn’t know what was happening. The logical explanation would be that I had a crush on Tay, but I haven’t really had a crush on anyone for years, so how could I be sure? With Aimee, it was a crush at first, but I quickly just fell head over heels for her. I wasn’t used to these butterflies in my stomach anymore, nor was I exactly sure what they meant. Maybe I should’ve called Haley to ask her for advice.

​​​I walked up to their front door and rang the bell again, hoping for Tay to open up. Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky. It was Mike who opened the door.
“You again?” he asked, more friendly than Jordan had been earlier.
“Uh yeah” I muttered.
“I assume you’re, once again, here to see Tay?” he asked.
“That assumption is correct” I answered, causing Mike to smile.
“Tay, Jack has returned!” he exclaimed and within seconds, Tay appeared in the doorway, seemingly confused.

​​​“Did you forget something?” she asked, as Mike went back into the living room.
“Yes” I said and I was silent for a moment.
“What?” she asked, tilting her head.
“I forgot to ask you to watch this movie with me” I said, holding up the DVD I was holding.

​​​Tay’s face fell, to my dismay. “I don’t know Jack…” she trailed off.
“Why not?” I asked, trying to hide my disappointment.
“Look Jack, I would love to watch that movie with you, really, I just don’t think it’s a good idea” she said.

​​​“Tay, we’re friends remember? Friends do stuff together” I said.
“Yes, but getting over your ex is not something I can or want to help you with” Tay muttered.
I sighed. “Well okay then. I’ll see you around.”
​​I turned around and walked back to my car.

Tay’s POV
I sighed, immediately feeling sorry for the boy.
“Wait” I said, as he was approaching his car.
Jack quickly turned around and his face lit up. He walked back to me.
“We’ll watch that movie, I don’t have anything else to do anyway” I said. “But, no funny business. Just two friends having a movie night.”

​​​I had picked up on Jack’s apparent change of heart. After he dumped Aimee, he suddenly seemed a lot more interested in me. Showing up at my house, out of the blue, twice. He had never done such a thing before today. I wasn’t going to let it get to me though, as he was probably just lonely and miserable and therefore needed company. Alex, Zack and Rian were probably all with their girls, which left only me for Jack to hang out with.
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​​​​​Of course my feelings for Jack hadn’t just vanished, but I wasn’t going to be his rebound, I would make sure of that. It wasn’t that I didn’t want any “funny business” happening, it was just that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to resist Jack if he tried anything and I couldn’t let that happen. Jack didn’t like me like that: he made that very clear. It was probably just the thought of me liking him that made it appealing to him to hang out with me. It would only get my hopes up while, to Jack, I would just be someone to make him feel less lonely.

​​​“Funny business?” Jack asked, confusion crossing his face.
“Yes” I said, without further explanation.
I stepped out of the doorway and let Jack in. As we entered the living room Mike shot me a disapproving look and Jordan shook his head lightly. Despite what they thought, Jack was still my friend and I would make sure we would just watch a movie, so I returned their looks with a shrug.

​​​“We’ll be in my bedroom” I told them, as I didn’t want to interrupt the game the guys were playing.
“We’ll be here if you need anything” Mike said.
I rolled my eyes at them. What was that supposed to mean? I wasn’t a baby; I can take care of myself. As I noticed Jack hadn’t brought the ice cream I gave him – it was probably melting in his car right now – I grabbed a new pint.
​​“Oh right, I forgot the ice cream” Jack muttered.
“I hope your car won’t be a mess” I joked, opening a drawer and getting two spoons.

​​​I led Jack into my room and turned on the television. I put the ice cream and the spoons on my nightstand and held out my hand for Jack to give me the DVD. He did so and I inserted it into the DVD-player while Jack sat down on my bed. Since a couch, or even a chair, didn’t fit into my room, my bed was the only place we could sit on. Well, except for the floor, that is. I decided to sit down next to Jack on my bed, but made sure there was plenty of space in between us. Jack looked at the space between us, figuring I was sitting this far from him on purpose, but he didn’t say anything about it. I grabbed the remote from the floor and pressed play.

During the movie, I noticed Jack looking over at me from time to time, but I pretended I didn’t. I just wanted to watch the movie and not give him any ideas. After about 2 hours, the credits appeared on the screen. God, it was such a great movie.

​​​“What did you think?” I asked Jack.
“It was okay” he replied. “A bit too romantic for my liking, but okay.”
“You’re not romantic?” I asked, regretting it immediately. I didn’t want this conversation to go the wrong way.
“I can be romantic, but that’s different. In movies you just know it’s fake, no matter how two people seem like a match made in heaven. It’s just deceiving” he replied.

​​​“Aren’t all movies?” I asked. “As if a mother would accidentally leave her child at home while going on vacation and the house just so happens to be the target of two burglars?” I raised my eyebrows, questioning the story of Jack's favorite movies of all time: the Home Alone series.
“Okay, okay, you’re right” Jack admitted.

​​​I turned my television off and pressed a button on my phone to see what time it was. “You should probably get going” I hinted as I saw it was almost midnight.
“Uh yeah, I told my mom I wouldn’t be home late” Jack shrugged.
“I highly doubt midnight still counts as “not home late”” I replied.
“You’re probably right, so I should indeed get going” Jack said.

​​​We both got up and left my room. Judging by the noise coming from the living room, I figured Cameron and Rob had come home as well. We walked to the living room.
“When did you two get home?” I asked, when I did indeed see Cameron and Rob sitting on the couch. I hadn’t heard them come home from the movies.
“About half an hour ago” Cameron replied.
“Was the movie any good?” I asked.
“Yeah it was okay” Rob replied.

​​​“Well, I should get going” Jack said, as he was probably in a hurry to get home after he realized how late it was.
A flat “bye” came from the guys as I led Jack into the hallway. I opened the front door and Jack walked outside and turned around to face me again. I was about to say I’d see him tomorrow, when he suddenly leaned into me and before I realized what was happening, his lips locked with mine. Fuck. For a moment I kissed back, caught off guard by his action, but as soon as I realized what he was doing, I broke away and pushed him back.

​​​“What the actual fuck Jack?!” I exclaimed angrily.
He was clearly thrown off by my angry tone and didn’t know what to say.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You’ve been telling me how you don’t like me for weeks and then you break up with Aimee and suddenly you do like me? Forget about it!” I yelled at him.

​​​“I’m…” he started, looking down, probably afraid to face me.
​​“Leave” I said resolute.
“I… What?” he asked, looking up, a shocked expression covering his face.
“Did I stutter?” I asked harshly.

​​​Jack’s eyes were full of hurt, but I couldn’t be the one to make him feel better right now. He had to understand that he couldn’t keep messing with me like this. I had told him I didn’t want this and yet here he goes, kissing me. I didn’t want to be yelling at him, but all of the frustrations I had bottled up over the past few weeks were all coming out at once.

​​​Jack sighed and turned around, heading for his car. I turned around and went back inside. I figured the guys must’ve heard my yelling and know something was up. I didn’t feel like talking to them, so I ran back into the living room, straight to my bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me. Out of frustration I kicked the side of my bed, which only caused my toes to hurt really bad. I collapsed onto my bed and curled up, tears streaming down my face.

Why did Jack do this to me? Why did he have this effect on me? Why couldn’t I just not be in love with him? My lips were still tingling from his kiss. I liked it, I really did, but I didn’t want to, as it could never happen again. Jack doesn’t love me, he never did and he never will, I told myself.
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​​​​​I heard a soft knock on my door. I groaned, which they took as an invitation to come in. The door opened and all four of my band mates appeared in the doorway.
“Are you okay?” Mike asked softly.
“Can we kick his ass now?” Jordan asked, sounding more angrily than concerned.
​​They all came walking in and sat down on my bed. I sat up a little and Cameron pulled me in for a hug.

​​​“What did he do?” Rob asked, after my sobbing got quieter.
I sighed. “He kissed me.”
“Wait, so after telling and showing you he didn’t like you for weeks, he kisses you out of the blue?” Mike asked, confused.
“Well, not really out of the blue… He dumped his girlfriend this morning and…” I started to explain.
“He dumped his girlfriend this morning and now he’s kissing you?” Jordan asked, his face showing disgust.
I was silent for a moment. “Basically…”
“That’s just wrong” Cameron said.

​​​“I told him I didn’t want any funny business as I had noticed him suddenly being more interested in me after he dumped her, but I guess that was too much to ask for” I shrugged.
“Look at me” Jordan said and I did as I was told. “You deserve so much better than that, Tay. Don’t let that jerk get to you okay?”
I nodded silently.
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​​​​​Jordan reached for my face with his hands, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“He’s not worth a single one of your tears” Cameron agreed.
I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Thanks guys” I muttered.
It was moments like these I was extremely thankful to have all of these boys around me. They always knew just what to do to make me feel better.
“Groups hug” I whispered, causing them to smile.
They all smiled and leaned in for a groups hug. “I love you guys” I said softly.
“We love you too” they said in unison.