Mind Speak
One-shot
Smile. Just fucking fake one, so they believe you are perfectly fine. I hate the voices in my head sometimes; it’s like all of them are screaming out at me at once and none of them want me to get help. Help is for the weak. Stop thinking with a weak mind. You don’t need help and with a smile like that, no one will believe that you ever do.
There was a time when I would have asked my best friend to help me. I needed to be saved from my mind that wanted me to die. Die in sickness and die while blocking people out of my life. You see, my mind would deceive anyone, including myself, to believe that I would not need saving. It wanted me to think that I did not need help and that people would never understand what was so horrible in my life.
Everything terrible that happened to me, my mind placed blame on me. My dad died; you never showed your love for him when he was here. That’s the problem with you, you don’t show your love until it’s too late. I got rejected from my top college. Nothing is going right in your life because you won’t allow it to. What did you think when you were filling out your application? That you would be the most qualified applicant they received? Right, you didn’t, because I am your mind.
There was a point where I just stopped taking the crap I was giving myself. I began to break down and think that everything was wrong with me, but what I really needed to learn is that my mind had a disease. I needed to get into a mental hospital, where they could dose me up on high potent pills and fix me for once and for all.
However, I didn’t make my own decisions anymore, my mind controlled everything I had to do. Smile, child. This will only hurt a bit, then it will all be over. You just needed me to help you, not to help yourself. This is where I was stuck. I would be forever obedient to my mind, so what was the point in fighting it?
I took the knife up to my throat with a blissful smile, knowing that all of this would be over. My mind might control me from earth, but I knew that the afterlife would suit me. I would be able to construct my own thoughts and finally get rid of the controlling effects of my mind. Would people miss? I think not because you can’t miss someone that was merely a ghost of her former self and wouldn’t take the walls down for anyone to see her.
The knife felt so cold and wet against my skin. As I cut further into my neck, I felt the wetness drip down the blade and looked at the blood that splattered on my hand. This will be the last smile I give to you. I will give you the smile of an obvious death. In my last moments, I slumped to the floor and allowed the blood to seep out of my throat until I was gone.
I had a problem. My mind forced me into being eccedentesiast, so my very last moment was spend being fake. I did exactly what my mind wanted me to this whole time. The mind has far more control over our actions that we should allow it to. Unless you want to die in a cold, desolate corner of your mind like me, I suggest you show people how real you can be and stop faking a pretty smile. The pretty smile can hide so much, and that smile may be the last thing you see from your mom, your dad, or your best friend. Get well at reading the depths of people’s minds, otherwise you will just allow a loved one’s mind to dement them.
There was a time when I would have asked my best friend to help me. I needed to be saved from my mind that wanted me to die. Die in sickness and die while blocking people out of my life. You see, my mind would deceive anyone, including myself, to believe that I would not need saving. It wanted me to think that I did not need help and that people would never understand what was so horrible in my life.
Everything terrible that happened to me, my mind placed blame on me. My dad died; you never showed your love for him when he was here. That’s the problem with you, you don’t show your love until it’s too late. I got rejected from my top college. Nothing is going right in your life because you won’t allow it to. What did you think when you were filling out your application? That you would be the most qualified applicant they received? Right, you didn’t, because I am your mind.
There was a point where I just stopped taking the crap I was giving myself. I began to break down and think that everything was wrong with me, but what I really needed to learn is that my mind had a disease. I needed to get into a mental hospital, where they could dose me up on high potent pills and fix me for once and for all.
However, I didn’t make my own decisions anymore, my mind controlled everything I had to do. Smile, child. This will only hurt a bit, then it will all be over. You just needed me to help you, not to help yourself. This is where I was stuck. I would be forever obedient to my mind, so what was the point in fighting it?
I took the knife up to my throat with a blissful smile, knowing that all of this would be over. My mind might control me from earth, but I knew that the afterlife would suit me. I would be able to construct my own thoughts and finally get rid of the controlling effects of my mind. Would people miss? I think not because you can’t miss someone that was merely a ghost of her former self and wouldn’t take the walls down for anyone to see her.
The knife felt so cold and wet against my skin. As I cut further into my neck, I felt the wetness drip down the blade and looked at the blood that splattered on my hand. This will be the last smile I give to you. I will give you the smile of an obvious death. In my last moments, I slumped to the floor and allowed the blood to seep out of my throat until I was gone.
I had a problem. My mind forced me into being eccedentesiast, so my very last moment was spend being fake. I did exactly what my mind wanted me to this whole time. The mind has far more control over our actions that we should allow it to. Unless you want to die in a cold, desolate corner of your mind like me, I suggest you show people how real you can be and stop faking a pretty smile. The pretty smile can hide so much, and that smile may be the last thing you see from your mom, your dad, or your best friend. Get well at reading the depths of people’s minds, otherwise you will just allow a loved one’s mind to dement them.