My Open Letter

I knew that he wasn't a bad person, he just needed some hope and goodness in his life. He's a frequent in the liquor store I work in, it's a small store that only residents know of. I know that he always comes in exactly at 5:45 PM, never a minute early or a minute late. I know that he's sheltered away, that he's scared. This man just needs to see the good in life, and not just drink his life away. I watch him today as he grabs the normal, two bottles of Jack. I frown inside, he pulls out his wallet and hands me the money. We stare at each other for a few moments, he nods.

"What's your name?" I ask, he looks at me, shocked that I even spoke to him.

"J-Joel Birch..." He replies, I smile at him, which he doesn't return. I frown at him, there's only one other customer waiting. Before I can say anything, Joel scurries out of the store. I sigh.

The next day, Joel doesn't come in. Though, another man comes in, at the exact time that Joel would and that man being Ahren Stringer. Ahren grabs two bottles of Jack. Which I assume is for Joel. I smile at Ahren, as I ring up the alcohol.

"For Joel?" I ask, as I put them in a big, I look up and Ahren nods. "Figured, it's his normal - you guys must go through this pretty quickly, if he's in here every day buying it.."

"What are you talking about? I honestly don't drink Jack all that often." Ahren said, looking at me confused. I look at Ahren as he smiles and nods, taking the bag and leaving the store.
I began to think about how Joel is always looking scared, alone, helpless, like he's fighting some sort of battle within himself. It occurred to me, Joel is buying it for himself, and drinking it himself - he's literally trying to drown his demons.

Once again, Joel doesn't come into the store the next day, this time Ahren and another friend of theirs does. Ahren hands me the two bottles of Jack, I look at Ahren and Ahren looks slightly concerned.

"Ahren, what's Joel's address?" I question, Ahren and his friend look at me like I'm crazy, Ahren just stares at me. "I asked you a question, what's his address?"

"1274 Queensland Park...why..." Ahren responded, very hesitantly. I just shrugged, Ahren became very wary of what just happened. "What do you know that we don't?"

I just looked at him with a blank expression and hand him the bag, I bit my lip. I was having an internal conflict with myself, I finally gave in and told the two.

"Don't you guys get it? He's drinking the liquor by himself, he's getting drunk alone every night, he's partaking in self destruction. He's literally going to drown himself, he probably has a horrid liver. I can't even imagine what he's going through right now." I spoke softly, enough so only the two men in front of me could hear. They stepped to the side to let an older gentlemen buy his vodka. Ahren just looked at me, he bit his lip and then looked at Ryan, the man beside him. Ryan scoffed at the idea of Joel doing that.

"Joel would never do something like that, we were just in the studio earlier and he was totally fine. Joel was smiling, laughing, and he just seemed content with everything. He's an all around happy guy." Ryan said harshly, Ahren shook his head.

"No, no. She does have a point. When we're going to parties and stuff, Joel does stay on the bus, and he stays at home. He never comes out during the night, anymore. He's very distant from everybody when he gets the chance, he never comes out to signings anymore. He's been awfully quiet.." Ahren said, Ahren looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "When do you get off work?"
"In like ten minutes.." I told him, and he nodded, Ryan and Ahren left the store and sat outside. I looked at the clock, and my coworker came out from the back. I looked out the window and saw Ryan and Ahren still sitting there, they were talking, Ahren looking very serious and Ryan's face just had a doubtful expression.

Finally, the ten minutes were over and I practically ran out of the store, Ahren and Ryan looked at me when they heard the door close behind me. Ahren stood up, Ryan followed his lead, he brushed the dirt off his shorts.

"We'll drop you off at Joel's house, you go check on him. We'll leave you there for two hours, yeah?" Ahren said, I nodded..realizing that I needed to get inside of Joel's mind, I zoned out, not realizing that Ahren was still talking to me. "Um, hello?" I looked at him, and he just stared at me "Did you even hear a word I said?"

"Uh, no."
"Give me your phone, I'll put my number in there so you can contact us if anything goes wrong, like if Joel tries to hurt you, or something. Not that he would." Ahren said sternly, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and handed it to him. "What is your name, anyway?"

"Fawn"

Ahren nodded and we walked to his car, Ryan let me sit next to Ahren in the passenger seat. The car ride to Joel's house was very quiet, except for the occasional sound of the blinker. We arrived to Joel's house, Ahren just nodded at me and mouthed 'good luck' to me, I sucked in some air and got out of the car. Ahren waited until I was at the door, I looked back at them, I could see Ahren just staring at whatever was about to happen. I let out a deep breath and opened the front door to Joel's home, I widened my eyes at the sight in front of me, empty bottles of Jack scattered across the floor, cans of Pabst laying around, food everywhere, and the worst of all; Joel laying on a leather couch that had fluff coming out of it, he was laying on his stomach, his face wasn't visible to me.

I ran over to the man, I struggled to roll him onto his side, and he wasn't that heavy. I noticed the empty bottle of Jack in his hand, I began to shake him, hoping and praying that he'd wake up. Joel's eyes fluttered a bit and then he opened them; his eyes widened and he quickly shot up, but fell over, in a drunken state. Joel laid on his side and tears started to become obvious as they started to well.

"Who the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you in my house?" Joel slurred, he looked at me with a horrified expression.

"Joel, it's okay..I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Fawn, from the liquor store..and Ahren sent me here, they're worried about you. I'm worried about you." I said looking at him, he shook his head and went to go take a drink from the Jack bottle, but frowned upon seeing that it was empty. Joel just looked at me, very confused. "Joel, why?"

"I don't bloody know what you're talking about, now get the fuck out of my house..now." Joel muttered drunkly, I shook my head and took the empty bottle of Jack away from him, he attempted to get up quickly but fell over his own feet, falling onto another bottle of Jack. I heard glass shatter and some painful grunts come from him. I sighed. I watched as he managed to sit up, he looked at me, afraid. "Get out..just leave, I don't want people to see me this way."

I saw as tears started to roll down his cheek, I watched him as he lowered his head in defeat. My heart sank, watching one of the most respected men in the local music scene destroy himself. Joel saved many lives, and now he needed someone to save his life. I heard Joel mutter some things, he watched me as I cleaned up his house, obviously going against his orders. I heard him fall again, I turned around to see him with a bottle of pills in his hand. I dropped everything and ran over to him, I smacked the bottle out of his hand.

"Where the fuck did these come from!?" I yelled at him, he just looked at me, Joel looked at the ground; an unopened can of Pabst laid by the television. I saw go to reach for it, I stepped on his hand, earning a howl from him. "I think not, Birch." Joel growled drunkly, I threw the bottle of pills away. I looked at him and looked him dead in the eye. "We're going to get you some fucking help, you need to pull your fucking life together. Look at you, you're a fucking drunk. What happened to Joel Birch, the man that saved lives, the man made music to let his emotions out. Is this how you fucking deal with your emotions now!?" When I ended my rant to him, he slumped over and started to throw up, not only was it a mixture of chunks, but there was blood, too. I ran my hand through my hair, and just stared at the broken man throwing up. I leaned beside him and remembered that Ahren had put his number in my phone, I quickly whipped it out and clicked on Ahren's number.

"Hello?"

"He's fucking throwing up blood, what the hell do I do!?"

"What do you mean he's throwing up blood!? You're fucking kidding right? Fuck, let's get him to the hospital, it's probably alcohol poisoning or something. Bloody hell. I'll be right there."

I laid with Joel and watched him as he continued to throw up, I frowned, I picked up his hand and held it, it was terribly cold. I looked around the room for a blanket, no blanket was in sight. I muttered to myself and continued to watch Joel, I heard the door fly open, I turned around to see Ahren with two other guys. They all rushed over to us, Ahren picked up Joel, Joel was still vomiting. Ahren ran out the door; he held Joel bridal style. Ryan and the other man just looked at me, we followed suit behind Ahren. Before we knew it, the four of us were in a hospital waiting room.