Status: OneShot
Golden Ring
Golden Ring
“How did you know Nathalie?” The man was drunk, it could tell because it actually looked like he was trying to flirt with me during his sister’s funeral.
“I was her friend.” I kept the answer short and concise because I had no desire of speaking to him.
“Some friend you must have been then, being invited and everything.” His breath oozed of alcohol and he leaning closer to me wasn’t helping.
“We were close.”
“Nobody was close with Nathalie. Who are you anyway, I haven’t seen you before.” For him to speak so clearheaded after half a bottle of scotch was almost admirable.
“Well to me, she was a wonderful friend, and for you to question that doesn’t sit well with me.” I didn’t wait for a reply from the man; instead I turned around and walked out of the family room. The room didn’t feel friendly anymore anyways. It was a complete turnaround from when I first visited this place. Then it was warm and inviting, now just filled with sorrow.
I walked until I found myself standing in my favorite place in this house. I used to sit here for hours when I visited. Nathalie would always say that I like it here more than she did. I think it was because of her idiot of a brother. I could ignore him most days, but she had to live with him.
I opened the French door, and stepped inside to the conservatory. It was beautiful this of year, the snow outside, the warm lights inside and the fire crackling in the huge fireplace. I walked up to the large window and watched the snow fall slowly outside.
When I first got the news of Nathalie’s death I didn’t want to come. I still wasn’t sure why I’d come.
“So, someone else got enough of Ed today?” The voice startled me. I hadn’t heard it before and I thought I was alone in here. No such luck tonight. I slowly turned around to greet the stranger.
He was leaning against the doorframe. His dark brown hair was combed to the side and his eyes glistened from the sparks of the fire. His crisp, white shirt and tailored jeans spoke of money, and his posture of good upbringing. He was holding a glass of what I assumed was the same scotch uncle Ed had devoured in the family room. I guess no one wanted to remain sober tonight.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to stand his voice for more than a few minutes.” The stranger laughed, but it was empty of emotion and more sarcastic. On closer inspection I could see that his eyes were red and that he hadn’t shaved in a few days.
“William…” Now it was his turn to jump. It seemed he wasn’t expecting me to know his name.
“Do I know you?” Every so slightly he tilted his head and leaned forward.
“No… but I know you, you’re Nathalie’s husband.”
“Was… I was her husband.” His word made my stomach turn. Nathalie wasn’t here anymore.
I didn’t answer him and he remained quiet. We just stood there, watching each other. I had this strange feeling that I’d seen this man before, in another life almost. There was something about him that felt so familiar. But I’d only heard about William from Nathalie, I’d never met him in person, and yet…
He took a step closer, and I could feel my heart skip a beat, what was wrong with me?
He didn’t stop until I put out my hand on his chest. “Stop.” There was something wrong.
“Do I know you?” His voice was stronger, more determined to know my name.
“I’m no one, just here for a friend.” I lowered my hand and turned away. I could hear his breathing, steady and present. But when I didn’t turn back he understood I needed space and left.
The funeral would be the following morning, and because the manor was further away from the city, the funeral guests would stay overnight at the house. I remembered all the nights I’d spent here as a child and young adult, but nothing had prepared me for this night.
…
I stayed for what felt like hours in the conservatory. I stayed until I heard Ed close the door to his room, and soon enough, the rest of the house went quiet as well. We weren’t many attending the funeral. Nathalie had always been a very private person; she didn’t let anyone in easily. Her parents had both died years ago by now, so it was just Ed, her uncle Francis, some cousins and other family acquaintances. I guess my parents would be here too if it wasn’t for their move to France.
I slowly moved through the quiet house, remembering a new memory at each turn. I’d practically grown up in this house, not realizing it until now. My room was at the end of the hall in the left wing, opposite to Nathalie’s old room.
Her mother would usually let us sleep in her room, since it was big enough for about ten people to sleep in, but Nathalie’s father wanted a quiet house, and made me the room on the other side mine. Usually we would until her father fell asleep, and then I would join Nathalie in her room.
The door to the room was closed. I looked back towards mine, there the lights were on and the bed made with fresh sheets. It had been almost ten years since I’d slept there last. With my focus still on my room I opened the door to Nathalie’s room.
The room was dark, but I could feel that I wasn’t alone in here. I reached for the light switch, but someone turned on the bedside lamp first. I wasn’t alone.
“What are you doing here?” It was William sitting on the bed.
“We used to have sleepovers here. My old room is just across the corridor and I just wanted to see this one more time. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be in here, I thought you would have another room, I…” I tried to make my thoughts clear but I failed miserably.
“Claire… it’s you isn’t it?” His voice was barely a whisper and I could feel my heart freeze. This was no ordinary stranger, I knew this man.
“Will…” He stood up and walked over to me, and before I had time to react he was holding me in his arms. His embrace felt so familiar, like it hadn’t been almost ten years since last held each other. I let my shield fall and surrendered to his embrace. He smelled just the same, and our bodies still remembered the other ones shape.
“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.” There were tears in his eyes when I pulled back.
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what to say, there wasn’t any words for me to utter anymore.
“You came back, after all these years.” His words sounded like an accusation.
“I shouldn’t, I wasn’t coming really, but there was something still calling me back to this place, and I guess I have the answer in front of me now.” I looked at him, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Why did you leave?”
“I couldn’t stay.” I should tell him the truth, but how?
“You should have stayed for me. I was ready to drop everything for you.” His hands were on both sides of my face, and I could feel a burning sensation were they lay. His hands forced my gazed up to his eyes, and I could see tears in his still.
“I wanted nothing more, but…” Before I could continue his lips were on mine. His breath was warm and all I could do was to surrender to him. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist. There were too many memories distracting me. But soon enough I pushed him away.
“Why?” He wanted more, but instead I grabbed his left hand.
“This is why.” We both looked down on his wedding ring. “You married Nathalie, and this is wrong. You two were meant for each other. She adored you and I know you loved her.”
“Not like I loved you.” His words made my heart ache, I really should tell him.
“It was always supposed to be the two of you, and you’re families made sure it would be.” My words were a bit too harsh and Will picked up on that.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your father made it very clear.” Maybe this was the time to speak up; Nathalie’s parents were dead, and William’s were far away. They wouldn’t care anymore, they’d gotten what they wanted – a union between the mightiest of families.
“My father made it clear to me that you wanted nothing to do with me.” William seemed confused.
“Then you were blind. I loved you, but you did nothing to stop me from leaving.” My words were harsh, but I couldn’t blame only his parents.
“No Claire, I wasn’t… I read your letter, and you made it very clear what you wanted.”
“I never wrote any letter… I left after your father tried to pay for my continued education.” I took a step back.
William remained quiet.
“Say something Will!” I was losing my nerve.
“My father set me up. You know what I was doing the night you left?” He raised his voice.
“Setting up the next big thing with Tommy I guess.” I didn’t think he was planning a party with his friend, but the alternative would make my knees fail me.
“I wanted to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. I was out choosing a ring for you.” That’s when my knees failed me and I fell to the floor. I could feel the tears after they’d already fallen, this was too much. First losing the love of your life and now finding out it was all a huge mistake.
“No…no, no, no… don’t say it.” Will sat down in front of me.
“I still love you Claire. I loved Nathalie, but I never stopped loving you. Our marriage wasn’t the one we would have had.” He took my hand and I felt him place something in it. “This is yours.”
I looked down and saw a simple platinum band in the palm of my hand.
“You carry it with you?”
“I never let it go; I’ve been wearing it around my neck.” I could see the chain next to his feet.
I shook my head. “We can’t do this… It’s Nathalie’s funeral tomorrow, this…We lost our chance ten years ago.”
He placed his hands on my face again and leaned closer. “It’s never too late. Nathalie would have wanted this; she knew how close we were. You were my first, you know.” His smile was sweet, not knowing my secret yet.
“You were my first too… but…” I couldn’t look at him.
“No, you listen… I made my decision a long time ago, and I’ve never changed my mind. You were my choice ten years ago, and it still is today.”
“Will…There’s something you need to know.” I leaned in and kissed him, trying to put of what I had to tell him. He pulled away first, he had this questioning look on his face.
“What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “I was pregnant when your father forced me to leave.” I could feel more tears fall down my cheeks.
William stayed quiet again, a longer time now.
His hands were still on both sides of my face. Slowly he moved his thumbs under my eyes and wiped away the tears. His voice was barely audible when he said: “I hate him. I hate the things he took away from us. I hate that he made you leave, insecure and alone in the world.”
“Don’t…” I focused my gaze on him and when he looked up I could see all the hidden hurt and anger he felt in this instance.
“I hate myself for not going after you…”
“You thought I wanted to leave, you couldn’t have known…”
“No Claire, I should have gone after you and made sure for myself… Now I, ten years…”
“She’s at my mother’s… I didn’t want to bring her along, but…”
“I have a daughter?” His eyes lit up, filled with tears as he leaned in to kiss me.
“I was her friend.” I kept the answer short and concise because I had no desire of speaking to him.
“Some friend you must have been then, being invited and everything.” His breath oozed of alcohol and he leaning closer to me wasn’t helping.
“We were close.”
“Nobody was close with Nathalie. Who are you anyway, I haven’t seen you before.” For him to speak so clearheaded after half a bottle of scotch was almost admirable.
“Well to me, she was a wonderful friend, and for you to question that doesn’t sit well with me.” I didn’t wait for a reply from the man; instead I turned around and walked out of the family room. The room didn’t feel friendly anymore anyways. It was a complete turnaround from when I first visited this place. Then it was warm and inviting, now just filled with sorrow.
I walked until I found myself standing in my favorite place in this house. I used to sit here for hours when I visited. Nathalie would always say that I like it here more than she did. I think it was because of her idiot of a brother. I could ignore him most days, but she had to live with him.
I opened the French door, and stepped inside to the conservatory. It was beautiful this of year, the snow outside, the warm lights inside and the fire crackling in the huge fireplace. I walked up to the large window and watched the snow fall slowly outside.
When I first got the news of Nathalie’s death I didn’t want to come. I still wasn’t sure why I’d come.
“So, someone else got enough of Ed today?” The voice startled me. I hadn’t heard it before and I thought I was alone in here. No such luck tonight. I slowly turned around to greet the stranger.
He was leaning against the doorframe. His dark brown hair was combed to the side and his eyes glistened from the sparks of the fire. His crisp, white shirt and tailored jeans spoke of money, and his posture of good upbringing. He was holding a glass of what I assumed was the same scotch uncle Ed had devoured in the family room. I guess no one wanted to remain sober tonight.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to stand his voice for more than a few minutes.” The stranger laughed, but it was empty of emotion and more sarcastic. On closer inspection I could see that his eyes were red and that he hadn’t shaved in a few days.
“William…” Now it was his turn to jump. It seemed he wasn’t expecting me to know his name.
“Do I know you?” Every so slightly he tilted his head and leaned forward.
“No… but I know you, you’re Nathalie’s husband.”
“Was… I was her husband.” His word made my stomach turn. Nathalie wasn’t here anymore.
I didn’t answer him and he remained quiet. We just stood there, watching each other. I had this strange feeling that I’d seen this man before, in another life almost. There was something about him that felt so familiar. But I’d only heard about William from Nathalie, I’d never met him in person, and yet…
He took a step closer, and I could feel my heart skip a beat, what was wrong with me?
He didn’t stop until I put out my hand on his chest. “Stop.” There was something wrong.
“Do I know you?” His voice was stronger, more determined to know my name.
“I’m no one, just here for a friend.” I lowered my hand and turned away. I could hear his breathing, steady and present. But when I didn’t turn back he understood I needed space and left.
The funeral would be the following morning, and because the manor was further away from the city, the funeral guests would stay overnight at the house. I remembered all the nights I’d spent here as a child and young adult, but nothing had prepared me for this night.
…
I stayed for what felt like hours in the conservatory. I stayed until I heard Ed close the door to his room, and soon enough, the rest of the house went quiet as well. We weren’t many attending the funeral. Nathalie had always been a very private person; she didn’t let anyone in easily. Her parents had both died years ago by now, so it was just Ed, her uncle Francis, some cousins and other family acquaintances. I guess my parents would be here too if it wasn’t for their move to France.
I slowly moved through the quiet house, remembering a new memory at each turn. I’d practically grown up in this house, not realizing it until now. My room was at the end of the hall in the left wing, opposite to Nathalie’s old room.
Her mother would usually let us sleep in her room, since it was big enough for about ten people to sleep in, but Nathalie’s father wanted a quiet house, and made me the room on the other side mine. Usually we would until her father fell asleep, and then I would join Nathalie in her room.
The door to the room was closed. I looked back towards mine, there the lights were on and the bed made with fresh sheets. It had been almost ten years since I’d slept there last. With my focus still on my room I opened the door to Nathalie’s room.
The room was dark, but I could feel that I wasn’t alone in here. I reached for the light switch, but someone turned on the bedside lamp first. I wasn’t alone.
“What are you doing here?” It was William sitting on the bed.
“We used to have sleepovers here. My old room is just across the corridor and I just wanted to see this one more time. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be in here, I thought you would have another room, I…” I tried to make my thoughts clear but I failed miserably.
“Claire… it’s you isn’t it?” His voice was barely a whisper and I could feel my heart freeze. This was no ordinary stranger, I knew this man.
“Will…” He stood up and walked over to me, and before I had time to react he was holding me in his arms. His embrace felt so familiar, like it hadn’t been almost ten years since last held each other. I let my shield fall and surrendered to his embrace. He smelled just the same, and our bodies still remembered the other ones shape.
“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.” There were tears in his eyes when I pulled back.
“I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what to say, there wasn’t any words for me to utter anymore.
“You came back, after all these years.” His words sounded like an accusation.
“I shouldn’t, I wasn’t coming really, but there was something still calling me back to this place, and I guess I have the answer in front of me now.” I looked at him, but I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Why did you leave?”
“I couldn’t stay.” I should tell him the truth, but how?
“You should have stayed for me. I was ready to drop everything for you.” His hands were on both sides of my face, and I could feel a burning sensation were they lay. His hands forced my gazed up to his eyes, and I could see tears in his still.
“I wanted nothing more, but…” Before I could continue his lips were on mine. His breath was warm and all I could do was to surrender to him. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist. There were too many memories distracting me. But soon enough I pushed him away.
“Why?” He wanted more, but instead I grabbed his left hand.
“This is why.” We both looked down on his wedding ring. “You married Nathalie, and this is wrong. You two were meant for each other. She adored you and I know you loved her.”
“Not like I loved you.” His words made my heart ache, I really should tell him.
“It was always supposed to be the two of you, and you’re families made sure it would be.” My words were a bit too harsh and Will picked up on that.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your father made it very clear.” Maybe this was the time to speak up; Nathalie’s parents were dead, and William’s were far away. They wouldn’t care anymore, they’d gotten what they wanted – a union between the mightiest of families.
“My father made it clear to me that you wanted nothing to do with me.” William seemed confused.
“Then you were blind. I loved you, but you did nothing to stop me from leaving.” My words were harsh, but I couldn’t blame only his parents.
“No Claire, I wasn’t… I read your letter, and you made it very clear what you wanted.”
“I never wrote any letter… I left after your father tried to pay for my continued education.” I took a step back.
William remained quiet.
“Say something Will!” I was losing my nerve.
“My father set me up. You know what I was doing the night you left?” He raised his voice.
“Setting up the next big thing with Tommy I guess.” I didn’t think he was planning a party with his friend, but the alternative would make my knees fail me.
“I wanted to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. I was out choosing a ring for you.” That’s when my knees failed me and I fell to the floor. I could feel the tears after they’d already fallen, this was too much. First losing the love of your life and now finding out it was all a huge mistake.
“No…no, no, no… don’t say it.” Will sat down in front of me.
“I still love you Claire. I loved Nathalie, but I never stopped loving you. Our marriage wasn’t the one we would have had.” He took my hand and I felt him place something in it. “This is yours.”
I looked down and saw a simple platinum band in the palm of my hand.
“You carry it with you?”
“I never let it go; I’ve been wearing it around my neck.” I could see the chain next to his feet.
I shook my head. “We can’t do this… It’s Nathalie’s funeral tomorrow, this…We lost our chance ten years ago.”
He placed his hands on my face again and leaned closer. “It’s never too late. Nathalie would have wanted this; she knew how close we were. You were my first, you know.” His smile was sweet, not knowing my secret yet.
“You were my first too… but…” I couldn’t look at him.
“No, you listen… I made my decision a long time ago, and I’ve never changed my mind. You were my choice ten years ago, and it still is today.”
“Will…There’s something you need to know.” I leaned in and kissed him, trying to put of what I had to tell him. He pulled away first, he had this questioning look on his face.
“What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “I was pregnant when your father forced me to leave.” I could feel more tears fall down my cheeks.
William stayed quiet again, a longer time now.
His hands were still on both sides of my face. Slowly he moved his thumbs under my eyes and wiped away the tears. His voice was barely audible when he said: “I hate him. I hate the things he took away from us. I hate that he made you leave, insecure and alone in the world.”
“Don’t…” I focused my gaze on him and when he looked up I could see all the hidden hurt and anger he felt in this instance.
“I hate myself for not going after you…”
“You thought I wanted to leave, you couldn’t have known…”
“No Claire, I should have gone after you and made sure for myself… Now I, ten years…”
“She’s at my mother’s… I didn’t want to bring her along, but…”
“I have a daughter?” His eyes lit up, filled with tears as he leaned in to kiss me.