I Guess I'll Never Get To Call You Mine
DAVID
I ran past a couple of old people rubbing hummus on each other’s face and managed to reach that door. The two guards had been bombarded by tacos earlier so they’re out of the way. I twisted the doorknob and groaned. “It’s locked, but I think I can pick it open.” “Are you sure?” Seb asked doubtfully. “Trust me I did it in the Scooby Doo cartoon.” “That wasn’t a lock that’s a safe. Besides, that wasn’t even real.” “Whatever. Just give me time, will you?” I closed my eyes and felt the gears turning as I inserted a toothpick inside the keyhole. “Got it!” I said, triumphantly opening the door as Chuck and Seb almost fought over themselves to get inside first. I followed in after them, imagining all sorts of dramatic scenarios in which one of them involved our friends getting cooked in a giant hot pot. Okay I was being too unrealistic.
I totally wasn’t prepared on what to see. We found our friends and they appeared to be OK, but I didn’t expect what came next. “Seb I cannot believe you dated Aline and never told me!” Laurence said as we came tumbling in. Seb stopped in his tracks and Chuck and I promptly crashed into him. What?!
I turned toward him. “You and Aline used to date?” I yelped. “WHAT? Who told you—?” Seb turned to Jeff accusingly. “DUDE! Did you have to?” he said. “I thought you told her already!” he said pleadingly. “I didn’t mean to! It just slipped out! And why are David and Chuck half naked?” “Long story,” I said grimly, scanning around the cargo hold. “Wait a second, where’s Aline?” “They took her to an adjoining room because she’s been kicking up such a fuss. David, it’s her they want for some reason, not Laurence or me.” I resisted the urge to point out to him that he wasn’t even kidnapped in the first place. He just happened to walk in and they caught him too so he wouldn’t tattletale.
Chuck and I raced to the other door while Seb tried to free Laurence and Jeff of their bonds, with Jeff apologizing over and over. I honestly didn’t know they were ever together either. I know they have similar tastes in geeky stuff but…well…the thought of Aline dating is just too bizarre. I know she must’ve had boyfriends before but I’m not going to dwell on that.
Before I can reach the doorknob my legs gave away and I fell flat on my face on the floor. One of those guards we thought we’d lost at the impromptu food fight had managed to football tackle me, and man he must’ve weighed a ton. He also smelled like Mexican food. I turned painfully to my left and saw Chuck struggling with the other guard, who was covered in chocolate cake. I felt myself being hauled roughly to my feet, and was anticipating a punch when he suddenly fell over to the side, Seb flattening him. “Go!” he yelled. “I got this.”
I nodded and kicked the door open, only to hear it closing shut again and therefore muffling the noise of the fight going on just behind me. It was eerily quiet as I did a quick spin on the spot…and found Aline gagged and tied up against a pole right behind me. I pulled off the rag and told her, “You dated Seb.” For a moment her eyes lit up in alarm, but she sighed and shook her head in disbelief. “Out of all the things you can say…” she muttered, before quickly changing the subject. “Are you alone? Are Jeff and Laurence OK?” “Chuck and Seb are with me, but they’re a bit preoccupied at the moment. Jeff and Lau are good.” I tugged at her ropes but the knotting is just too complicated. “Why didn’t you tell us you and Seb went out before?” “Did you really want me to make a big public announcement every time I had a boyfriend?” Aline said sarcastically. “Can we not talk about this?” “Sure,” I said casually. “It’s just, that, well, you two didn’t act like you were dating.” “If ‘dating’ means being glued at the lips all the time then nope, we don’t. By the way, what happened to your shirt? And why did you smell like salsa sauce?” She squinted in the semi-darkness and looked at me in concern. “Is that blood? Are you hurt?” “Huh?” I looked down at my chest and noticed a large gash across my abdomen. Funny I didn’t feel anything before. “Probably nothing. Damn these ropes are tight.”
Putting aside the fact that we’re in a dire situation, the fact that Aline and I are having what could be accepted as a normal conversation made the whole thing seemed almost peaceful. I kept on talking to reassure my nerves as I took out a penknife and crouched down to hack at her bindings. “About this morning—” I started to say. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t blame you,” she interrupted swiftly, offering me a brief smile. “You’re a good guy, Dave. I know you never meant to do anything with me.”
I wish I were more comfortable with that assessment of myself. “I’m sorry I got between you and Chuck.” “He’ll get over it. We’ve been friends for many years now. He won’t hate me just because of one fight. Besides, he loves me.” My head jerked back up so fast I think I cricked my neck. “Ouch.” “Careful,” Aline said, looking a little amused. “Sorry, inside joke. Something we came up when we were younger. I used to say ‘Love you, bro’ whenever we parted or he’d point out actors in celebrity magazines and asked if I liked them. If I said yes he’d go ‘Aw I thought you loved me more’.” She smiled. “I forgot how it started but it’s kind of cute now that I think about it.” “Oh,” I said, unsure of what to say. I stood up and took her hands in mine. “Okay, your feet are done. I’ll work on your hands now.” There was a tense silence as I started carving away at the knots.
“David?” she said tentatively. “Hmm?” “Everything’s going to be OK.” The way she said it, it might be a statement as well as a question. “Yeah,” I said wearily. “Nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be fine.”
I totally wasn’t prepared on what to see. We found our friends and they appeared to be OK, but I didn’t expect what came next. “Seb I cannot believe you dated Aline and never told me!” Laurence said as we came tumbling in. Seb stopped in his tracks and Chuck and I promptly crashed into him. What?!
I turned toward him. “You and Aline used to date?” I yelped. “WHAT? Who told you—?” Seb turned to Jeff accusingly. “DUDE! Did you have to?” he said. “I thought you told her already!” he said pleadingly. “I didn’t mean to! It just slipped out! And why are David and Chuck half naked?” “Long story,” I said grimly, scanning around the cargo hold. “Wait a second, where’s Aline?” “They took her to an adjoining room because she’s been kicking up such a fuss. David, it’s her they want for some reason, not Laurence or me.” I resisted the urge to point out to him that he wasn’t even kidnapped in the first place. He just happened to walk in and they caught him too so he wouldn’t tattletale.
Chuck and I raced to the other door while Seb tried to free Laurence and Jeff of their bonds, with Jeff apologizing over and over. I honestly didn’t know they were ever together either. I know they have similar tastes in geeky stuff but…well…the thought of Aline dating is just too bizarre. I know she must’ve had boyfriends before but I’m not going to dwell on that.
Before I can reach the doorknob my legs gave away and I fell flat on my face on the floor. One of those guards we thought we’d lost at the impromptu food fight had managed to football tackle me, and man he must’ve weighed a ton. He also smelled like Mexican food. I turned painfully to my left and saw Chuck struggling with the other guard, who was covered in chocolate cake. I felt myself being hauled roughly to my feet, and was anticipating a punch when he suddenly fell over to the side, Seb flattening him. “Go!” he yelled. “I got this.”
I nodded and kicked the door open, only to hear it closing shut again and therefore muffling the noise of the fight going on just behind me. It was eerily quiet as I did a quick spin on the spot…and found Aline gagged and tied up against a pole right behind me. I pulled off the rag and told her, “You dated Seb.” For a moment her eyes lit up in alarm, but she sighed and shook her head in disbelief. “Out of all the things you can say…” she muttered, before quickly changing the subject. “Are you alone? Are Jeff and Laurence OK?” “Chuck and Seb are with me, but they’re a bit preoccupied at the moment. Jeff and Lau are good.” I tugged at her ropes but the knotting is just too complicated. “Why didn’t you tell us you and Seb went out before?” “Did you really want me to make a big public announcement every time I had a boyfriend?” Aline said sarcastically. “Can we not talk about this?” “Sure,” I said casually. “It’s just, that, well, you two didn’t act like you were dating.” “If ‘dating’ means being glued at the lips all the time then nope, we don’t. By the way, what happened to your shirt? And why did you smell like salsa sauce?” She squinted in the semi-darkness and looked at me in concern. “Is that blood? Are you hurt?” “Huh?” I looked down at my chest and noticed a large gash across my abdomen. Funny I didn’t feel anything before. “Probably nothing. Damn these ropes are tight.”
Putting aside the fact that we’re in a dire situation, the fact that Aline and I are having what could be accepted as a normal conversation made the whole thing seemed almost peaceful. I kept on talking to reassure my nerves as I took out a penknife and crouched down to hack at her bindings. “About this morning—” I started to say. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t blame you,” she interrupted swiftly, offering me a brief smile. “You’re a good guy, Dave. I know you never meant to do anything with me.”
I wish I were more comfortable with that assessment of myself. “I’m sorry I got between you and Chuck.” “He’ll get over it. We’ve been friends for many years now. He won’t hate me just because of one fight. Besides, he loves me.” My head jerked back up so fast I think I cricked my neck. “Ouch.” “Careful,” Aline said, looking a little amused. “Sorry, inside joke. Something we came up when we were younger. I used to say ‘Love you, bro’ whenever we parted or he’d point out actors in celebrity magazines and asked if I liked them. If I said yes he’d go ‘Aw I thought you loved me more’.” She smiled. “I forgot how it started but it’s kind of cute now that I think about it.” “Oh,” I said, unsure of what to say. I stood up and took her hands in mine. “Okay, your feet are done. I’ll work on your hands now.” There was a tense silence as I started carving away at the knots.
“David?” she said tentatively. “Hmm?” “Everything’s going to be OK.” The way she said it, it might be a statement as well as a question. “Yeah,” I said wearily. “Nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be fine.”