I Guess I'll Never Get To Call You Mine
SÉBASTIEN
“I’m sorry for not telling you,” I said quietly. After that ferry incident I’d insisted on driving Laurence to the hospital in case of injuries before taking her home. There had been awkwardness between us that had not been there before during the long silent walk to her place (my Audi, regretfully, has not been recovered yet). I didn’t blame Laurence to be a little upset with me, as I know she valued complete honesty from both parties in a relationship. But to be honest, I’d almost forgotten about the previous relationships I had before I’d known her. When I met Laurence, it’s like we’re made for each other. It’s with her that I feel whole.
I took Lau’s silence as an invitation to go on. “What I had with Aline was brief and quite Platonic. We’re pretty much the same age, we’re both the youngest in our bands and we had a lot of the same interests. It felt right at that time, but in reality we both needed a friend more than we need a boyfriend or a girlfriend. We were young, and I think we were more in love with the idea of being in love than actual love itself.” I bit my lip at her continued unresponsiveness but willed myself to go on. “I do like her, and I know she likes me, but it’s more like the affection you would give to a younger sibling. When we were together we didn’t do anything much other than just enjoy each other’s company and play video games and such. It was like a normal friendship, except that I took her out occasionally of course. Jeff found us watching Killer Zombies in the cinema and figured it out.” I rolled my eyes. Instead of leaving us alone that bald moron had to corner us after the movie was over and ask what was going on.
“At any rate the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway. Aline and I broke up amicably by mutual decision.” I paused. “Please don’t hate me for this. It was a long time ago, back when both Simple Plan and The Youngbloods had just formed. I’ve nearly forgotten.” Laurence sighed but I felt her hand slip into mine, where the spaces between my fingers fit hers perfectly. “I don’t blame you, Sébastien. It was stupid of me to feel a bit jealous. I just never thought about you and Aline being as being a couple once.” She turned toward me and smiled a little. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you say that the relationship would not have worked? Maybe if you waited a bit you both might have grown to love each other.”
I shook my head. “Aline and I were meant to be just good friends,” I said, before looking up at her knowingly. “To continue would lead us to nowhere and it would mean being unfair to each other.” “Why is that?” Laurence asked, her dark eyes widened luminously in the darkening sky, reflecting the twinkle of the stars that had begun to appear above. I drew in a sharp breath. After all we’ve been through today, Laurence must’ve been exhausted and weary but she never looked so beautiful or perfect to me as of right now. I must’ve have gazed at her longer than necessary because she blushed and ducked her head. “Because,” I said, gently cupping her chin with a hand while my arm lightly circled her waist, “We were both in love with someone else.”
I took Lau’s silence as an invitation to go on. “What I had with Aline was brief and quite Platonic. We’re pretty much the same age, we’re both the youngest in our bands and we had a lot of the same interests. It felt right at that time, but in reality we both needed a friend more than we need a boyfriend or a girlfriend. We were young, and I think we were more in love with the idea of being in love than actual love itself.” I bit my lip at her continued unresponsiveness but willed myself to go on. “I do like her, and I know she likes me, but it’s more like the affection you would give to a younger sibling. When we were together we didn’t do anything much other than just enjoy each other’s company and play video games and such. It was like a normal friendship, except that I took her out occasionally of course. Jeff found us watching Killer Zombies in the cinema and figured it out.” I rolled my eyes. Instead of leaving us alone that bald moron had to corner us after the movie was over and ask what was going on.
“At any rate the relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway. Aline and I broke up amicably by mutual decision.” I paused. “Please don’t hate me for this. It was a long time ago, back when both Simple Plan and The Youngbloods had just formed. I’ve nearly forgotten.” Laurence sighed but I felt her hand slip into mine, where the spaces between my fingers fit hers perfectly. “I don’t blame you, Sébastien. It was stupid of me to feel a bit jealous. I just never thought about you and Aline being as being a couple once.” She turned toward me and smiled a little. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you say that the relationship would not have worked? Maybe if you waited a bit you both might have grown to love each other.”
I shook my head. “Aline and I were meant to be just good friends,” I said, before looking up at her knowingly. “To continue would lead us to nowhere and it would mean being unfair to each other.” “Why is that?” Laurence asked, her dark eyes widened luminously in the darkening sky, reflecting the twinkle of the stars that had begun to appear above. I drew in a sharp breath. After all we’ve been through today, Laurence must’ve been exhausted and weary but she never looked so beautiful or perfect to me as of right now. I must’ve have gazed at her longer than necessary because she blushed and ducked her head. “Because,” I said, gently cupping her chin with a hand while my arm lightly circled her waist, “We were both in love with someone else.”