I Guess I'll Never Get To Call You Mine

It’s twilight, and the skies were fading into a deep purple as I sat in my bedroom and toyed around with the things on my desk. It must be around dinnertime I guess, but I didn’t feel like eating. Or doing anything much at all that is. My emotions are too screwed up. Damn female hormones. I am such an idiot, running away from Chuck like that. Whatever he tried to do at Jerry’s…he must’ve been high. There’s no way he would attempt to do that to me, I told myself. It must be my imagination. I gazed out at my window again, numbly registering the fact that it was rattling uncontrollably. Wait, what?
I reached out and threw it open, letting a refreshing blast of air wash over my face. Someone was standing in the garden below, holding a handful of pebbles in one hand. I stared at him in disbelief. “Charles?” I yelped. “What’s up?” he grinned. “Can you meet me at the front door? I’d climb up a tree and let myself in, of course, but there are neighbors watching and they might not be so amused.” “Chuck, not today. Can we meet some other time?” “I’m afraid not. You know if you insist to stay inside, I might decide to climb that tree after all.” “The neighbors will think you’re trying to rob the house and call the police.” “Then you’d better come down. You don’t want your best friend to go to jail, don’t you?”
Friend, he’d called me a friend. I let out a sigh of relief. He isn’t mad at me for ditching him at Jerry’s. We’re still friends. I bolted downstairs and threw open the front door, where he is waiting at the doorstep. Before I could ask what he wanted he remarked, “You might want to get your jacket. It can get a little chilly at night, and we’ll be spending most of our time outside.” “Wow, pretty confident, are you? I’m only answering the door so the neighbors won’t call the cops. I never said I was going to come with you.” He looked a little hurt, and I immediately felt bad. “For old time’s sake?” he offered. “We, um, got off a bad end at Jerry’s. Will you give me a chance to…explain things? Please?”
Like I said before, it’s kind of hard to say no to Chuck. In less than five minutes he’d already insisted on helping me with my jacket (ever the gentleman), and then we were on our way to…somewhere. Chuck didn’t tell me where we were going, and I didn’t ask. For a while we walked in momentary silence, both of us lost in our individual thoughts. Chuck looked anxious and fidgety, like he’s worried about something.
“I’d like to apologize for my behavior a few days ago,” I finally said. “That was pretty tactless.” He shook his head. “No, you were right. I forgot my place at that time, and it was right of you to show, um, restraint.” “So you don’t regret it?” “I never said I did.” I can feel my cheeks flush, but Chuck pretended not to notice, although I can tell that he is blushing too. Without a word, he slipped his hand into mine and held it, my fingers curling with pleasure under his warm touch.
I cleared my throat. “Ashley knows you’re out?” “Actually, Ashley and I are separated. They’ve granted our divorce yesterday.” “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be. It was by mutual agreement. Besides, it wasn’t as if I agreed to the marriage in the first place.” He stopped abruptly. “We’re here.” I looked up and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Why, Charles! It’s your old house!” I exclaimed. “Yep, didn’t change much after Dad sold it ages ago. We’re not going in, of course, but we need to cross the backyard.” He smiled at me knowingly, and I know he meant the woods we used to play in as children.

For a while, we simply enjoyed the beauty of it: the last fading rays of the sun shining through the leaves, the birds chirping, squirrels darting in and out, the feel of crunching leaves underneath our feet. We kept holding hands throughout our walk, and I didn’t even give a fig about it anymore. There was nothing scandalous about it. It is a sweet gesture, and the feel of his fingers between mine felt perfectly natural.
“Why did I have a feeling that you left that there?” I said, amused at a picnic blanket neatly arranged underneath the shade of a large tree. “I couldn’t have. I was with you the whole time. Maybe it was the wood faeries,” he said, releasing my hand and going over to large picnic basket that was set atop the checkered blanket. I shook my head and smiled, going over to sit next to him.
Chuck lifted the basket’s lid and let out a low whistle. “What do you know? Jerry’s special spaghetti Bolognese,” he announced. “We never get to taste ours back at his place. I’m glad for this.” He handed me the dish and peered back inside. “Extra cheese pizza,” he chuckled. “With a lot of marinara sauce.” “Just the way I liked it,” I grinned, taking the plate from him. There was also a bottle of wine and two glasses, as well as French bread, olives and fruit. Chuck popped the cork open and poured both of us a glassful. “Cheers!” he said cheerfully, and we toasted each other and drank a generous measure.
“So what’s the occasion?” I laughed. “Did you win a lottery or something?” “No, I’m just fulfilling a promise I made so many years ago to a certain someone, that when I’m famous and successful I’d come back here and tell her all about my adventures, and that I’d even bring pizza.” My eyes widened. “Oh my Gawd…” I gasped softly. “You couldn’t mean…that was when we were kids! Right before—” “You moved to Ottawa, yes,” he finished. “You also promised me you’d come back to Montréal one day.” He smiled and sipped his wine. “And so you did.” “So you fixed this up just because of that promise when we were kids?” I laughed. “Really, Charles, this is so nice of you. I can’t believe you still remember.” He shrugged. “I always keep my promises.” He leaned back against the tree trunk and gave a sigh of contentment. “Now do you want to hear about my adventures or not?”

It was very pleasant evening. We talked a bit about Simple Plan’s new album, about this year’s summer festivals and our friends. Soon most of the food was consumed, and, full and comfortable, I sat back as Chuck recounted his journey with Simple Plan, about his hopes and dreams and fears, about the thrill on the success of their first album, and about all the obstacles he’d overcome until this day.
“This year had definitely been an adventure for me,” he concluded slowly. I touched his arm lightly. “You’ve been through so much…” “It was worth it. Every single moment of it, no matter how painful…” He looked at me right in the eye. “Ashley and I hadn’t worked out. If you talk to the other guys, and I think you realize it too, I haven’t had the best love life in the world…” “It’s not your fault. Those girls are—” “I know, I know. I chose them for the wrong reasons.” He bit his lip before taking a deep breath to continue. “I was shallow, and I care only about appearances. I was pretty naïve and of course girls like that could never love me back. I wasn’t sure if I was in love with any of them anyway. Infatuated, yes, but it wasn’t true love.”
“Do you really believe in that though, Al?” Randy asked. “Huh?” “True love.” It seemed like a long time ago when my brother asked this question, and I wasn’t able to give him a proper answer. “Do you remember when we were kids, and J.S. dared me to say ‘I love you’ to…well, to you.” “Well…yes.” “Do you know why?” he mused. “He thought I was crazy for wanting to wait until the right person to say those little three words. I always thought of loving someone is a beautiful thing, and you should reserve your heart for someone who loves you back.” He looked down on his hands. “Ever since that day, I never uttered those words again…except to one person.”
I can hear the obnoxious beating of my heart as I sucked in my breath. “And did you mean those words, when you said them?” I said softly. He edged closer to where I was sitting, and I could smell the clean soap fragrance about him that is familiar to me since childhood. His eyes were dark, his cheeks flushed. He suddenly stood up and held out a hand. “Come with me, I want to show you something.”

It was around three in the morning when we finally returned back to his old house. Our fingers are still interlocked as he winked and pressed a button to open the garage door. “Watch this.” He watched in pleasure as I gasped in surprise. The door revealed what seemed to be his father’s old pickup truck. It couldn’t be, of course, Mr. Comeau must’ve gotten rid of that years ago, but…
“How’d you do this?” I said in wonder. “It wasn’t easy. I had to hunt down a lot of used car auctions before I found the right model. I took it to the junkyard where Leonard fixed it up for me.” “Wait, Leonard as in the Leonard who kidnapped Lau and me on that ferry?” “Yep. He and Butch decided being hitmen sucked since they payment isn’t as large nowadays. They decided to try a hand at being car mechanics.” “Oh wow,” I shook my head. “Wouldn’t have guessed that they could reform that quickly. How’d you manage to get it here?” “I, um, had someone do it for me,” he said hastily, before flashing me a mischievous grin. “So the question is, would you like to go for a ride?”

I had to be the one driving of course. Up until now Chuck still hasn’t managed to get his license. But I didn’t mind. It had been a wonderful night, and I was enjoying the new morning. Chuck had turned on the radio and we hummed along softly for a while. “So where are we going?” I asked. “Just drive ahead, you’ll know soon enough,” he laughed. “Man, I can’t believe you don’t remember.” “I would, if you tell me exactly what you’re planning.” “You’ll see, trust me.” “But—” “Just shut up and drive will you, Young?” “Whatever you say, Comeau,” I grinned.
I didn’t think we went very far until he suddenly said, “OK stop.” I slammed my foot on the brake. We’d stopped by the side of an empty road. “But, why? It’s the middle of nowhere.” He didn’t answer but simply smiled, got out, and opened the door for me. “We’ll walk.” “Walk?!” “It’s only two miles. It’s not going to hurt.” “You’re crazy, you know.” I hopped out and went with him anyway. Dawn is breaking, turning the streets golden with its early morning glow, Chuck chattering happily by my side. As we passed by several old-fashioned shops and stopped at a bakery to buy some rolls for breakfast, I slowly began to understand what he is getting at.
“I don’t believe it.” I couldn’t help smiling as I looked around in wonder. “It’s exactly how I remember it.” “It’s a small town, small towns don’t change much,” Chuck said, looking pleased. “That was such a long time ago,” I laughed. “I know, and I never forgot it.” He is smiling too, as he led me farther up ahead where we can see a magnificent view of the sunrise. I closed my eyes and let the wind caress my face, letting my hair fly gently in the breeze.
I opened my eyes to see Chuck watching me, but he quickly turned his head when he saw that I’d noticed, looking a little embarrassed. “What?” I said teasingly. “Nothing,” he said quickly. “It’s just…” He turned red. “I just thought you looked really beautiful.” “Oh.” I’ve been blushing a lot around Chuck lately. “Thank you.”
I thought about this recent compliment, and then the picnic, the walk to this old town…Charles has been acting peculiar lately. “Why’d you do this?” I finally asked. He let out a nervous chuckle. “I was wondering when you were going to ask that.”
He took a deep breath and said, “I’ve made some bad choices in my life, and though many people have told me that Ashley was a mistake, I have never regretted being with her, because perhaps if it weren’t for the things she’d done to me, to us, I would have never realized the one person who had always been on my side no matter what, steady and reliable as a heartbeat. I’ve known her since childhood, and she has always been there for me. It was foolish of me to have such big ambitions and set high goals for my life that I forgot the one thing that’s always been special to me: my best friend.”
I stood looking at him in silent shock, my eyes watering already, but Chuck wasn’t finished. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this before, but it never seemed like the right time, and it probably wouldn’t matter to you anyways, but I’d still like you to know. I think I meant to tell you, the night before my accident. Some of my memories are kind of fuzzy and I’m still trying to work through my thoughts, but my feelings are unchanged.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Aline. I always have, even if I didn’t know it. It was at this place so many years ago that our childhood ended and we went into our separate ways. It was the day before you moved to Ottawa. I was too distraught with my not-so-good relationship with Dad afterward, and then later too occupied with my profession that I didn’t try contacting you. When you came back to Montréal a few months you it’s like you’re suddenly no longer the playmate of my teenage years, but the fire in my heart, the center of my world, and the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Before I can respond, he suddenly got down on one and knee, reached into his pocket and very slowly drew out a ring. He looked at me and said, “Aline Young, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” “Charles!” I was too shocked to answer, but the tears were already streaming down my face. He smiled at me faintly, his eyes downcast. He thought I am rejecting him, I thought with a start.
“No, no you’ve got it all wrong,” I said, half laughing and half crying. “We’ve known each other for most of our lives. I think you know what my answer will be.” I reached into the collar of my shirt and carefully took hold of the silver chain around my throat, lifting the sparkling trinity pendant so he can see. “Do you remember that you gave this to me on that day?” I said. “I’ve never taken it off. If you imagine our friendship to be entirely Platonic, I assure my feelings are much stronger than that, even if I didn’t seem to show it.” I closed my eyes and imagined his surprised expression, before opening them and said, “I love you too, more than you ever know, and yes, of course I will marry you Charles-André.”
“Oh my Gawd.” He is crying now, as he slipped the ring around my finger before wrapping his arms around me. “Oh my Gawd.” He took me into his arms, and suddenly his lips were on mine, one of his hands circling the back of my beck gently, my arms around his neck. I gasped against his mouth, as he kissed me again and again, trailing the corner of my mouth with his soft lips, my cheekbone, and the spot underneath my earlobe.
A few hours ago I could have never imagined this. Charles Comeau, my best friend, is now my fiancée. I loved him all these years and like him, am too afraid to fully accept those feelings, thinking that the other had already found someone else. I guess you can say that we were both fools, but in the end everything had led up to this—the happiest moment of my life—and I suppose the only thing to say left is—
“IT’S ABOUT TIME!” Chuck and I broke apart, and we whirled around to see all our friends and family and work acquaintances had gathered around us: Seb, Pierre, Jeff, David, my brothers, Violet and Carol, our parents, our tour manager, Laurence, a beaming and tear-stained Jerry, all the neighborhood kids we grew up with, our old school classmates. Even Ashley was there, hand in hand with…J.S.?! They were both smiling at me, their fingers interlocked with one another. It looks like things had worked out between the two of them after all.
“Dude, finally,” Pierre said, shaking his head. “We thought you would never going to pop the question.” “I know right? Does this mean I win the bet?” David said eagerly. “I told you he would propose!” “If you weren’t we were going to feed you to the sharks,” Jeff grinned. “Took you long enough, brother.”
Chuck gawked at him, open-mouthed. “But how did you guys—?” He turned to a man neatly attired in a business suit and a pair of sunglasses. “I’m sorry, sir,” Butch replied sincerely. “Leonard isn’t known for keeping very good secrets.” “Anyways, let’s party!” David announced. He pointed to one of the shops, where Chuck had bought my necklace so many years ago. “The owner had agreed to let us use his place for the engagement celebration after we told him our story. Apparently he remembers Charles. Jerry is the caterer, so you’d better expect some wicked spaghetti. Let’s go!” He whooped and made a beeline toward the shop, followed by several others, but most of the people stopped to say their congratulations.
Chuck groaned and wrapped an arm around me protectively. “So much for privacy,” he muttered as my brothers came forward to shake his hand. My youngest brother Adrien reached out to give me a hug. I didn’t know that he was in Montréal. He must’ve arrived days ago and I wasn’t told.
“Congrats, Sis, though I would prefer Seb as my new brother-in-law,” he joked, earning a slap from the grinning blue-eyed guitarist, whose own fiancée smiled and kissed me on both cheeks to show no hard feelings between us. I smiled and leaned my head against Chuck’s shoulder. “No matter what happens, I’ll always love you, bro.” He kissed the top of my head. “I will always love you too. You can definitely count on that.”