I Swear This Time I Mean It.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Jamison was judging me just as much as I was judging him. Everything I did from waking up and not making my bed, to putting my can of soda on the ground made him cringe. I could tell how uncomfortable me being “normal” made him, though he tried his hardest not to let it show; which I actually appreciated. Last thing I needed was an OCD nerd on my back twenty-four seven.

“Jamie, you have one more day of freedom before classes start tomorrow… What do you want to do?” I asked, almost regretting making it sound like an offer to hang out.

“I think I’m just going to stay in… I mean, what is there to do?”

I groaned internally as I shook my head. What did he mean ‘what is there to do’… He is in college for fucks sake. This is his time to live and to be free, which I can clearly tell he never had the opportunity to do before.

“There are a lot of things to do… Like… Going outside? I’m sure your skin could use some sun.” I said as I got up. “C’mon, we’re going on an adventure.”

The look this poor boy gave me nearly made me want to pat him on his head and tell him I was joking, but lord knows I’m not that type of guy.

“W-where are we going?” He asked as I ushered him out of the dorm.

“Outside on the exclusive Keagan Bradley tour; you’re going to see sites and sounds many other students on this campus could only dream of seeing!” I shouted, causing Jamie to shudder.

“I really don’t want to get in trouble. We haven’t even started class yet…”

“Oh jesus… Jamie, calm down. We’re going on a walk, that’s all. Get your panties out of a bunch and be a man!” I groaned. I knew my general tone of annoyance must of hurt his feelings, but for all that is holy he needed to chill out.

“I-I’m sorry. I j-j-just… I’m not used to this.” I shrugged and lead him along.

The campus was huge so I knew I’d wear out this little dude in no time and I planned on taking him everywhere.

“As you know, this is the cafeteria slash food court thing.” I stated as we passed by. “This is where you go and eat and stuff if we don’t stalk up on food for the dorm.”

“Where do we get food for our dorm?”

I looked down at him and shrugged. “I have this thing called a car, and there are these things just right outside campus called grocery stores… I don’t know if you noticed, but we have a fridge and a microwave, thanks to my old roommate.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a car…” He mumbled.

“Yep, I sure do. Now over to your right is the Science building where I’m sure you’ll be spending most of your time at, are you keeping up?” I looked back down at him with a smirk and he just rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah, I have that photo whatever memory, remember?”

“Oh you got jokes now?” I laughed as I playfully bumped into him, well… At least to a normal person it would have been playful, but I forgot completely forgot Jamie was pretty tiny. So my playful bump turned into a deadly shove, sending him falling to the ground. “Oh shit dude!” I laughed as I hurried over to him, I tried helping him up as well, but I was laughing far to hard to be anyone any good. “Oh god, I am so sorry.” I panted.

“What was that for?!” He whimpered and I immediately stopped laughing. His face was bright red and he was sporting the most mortified look I had ever seen.

“I didn’t mean to push you that hard, I was just trying to nudge you. I’m sorry you’re only like twenty-five pounds and couldn’t take it.”

“It’s fine.” He sighed. “I’m just going to head back to the dorm room.”

“Oh come on Jamie, don’t be like that.”

“It’s Jamison!” He snapped but immediately held his hands up as he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“My bad, my bad.” I chuckled. “Jamison is just too fancy. It’s like calling a Chihuahua Reginald. It just doesn’t work. What about Jay? Are you cool with that?” I could tell I was poking at his last nerve now, and honestly though it was fun I wasn’t trying to make living with him a complete hell. “Fine, Jamison it is. Lets continue our walk? I’ll make sure to keep to myself now alright?”

I honestly didn’t intend on calling him Jamison any other day but today. I figured basically pushing him down was enough trouble for today, and that I should probably lay off for a bit. I know my limits.

We didn’t get much further down the path before Jamie- ahem, Jamison, needed to sit down. As soon as those park benches came into view, he nearly sprinted his way over to them.

“I’m not out of shape, I promise.” He laughed as he plopped down on the nearest seat. “I’m just not much of a distance walker.”

“That’s fine; it’s a beautiful day outside.” I shrugged, taking my seat next to him. A few people who recognized me from god knows what stopped and waved, I knew they were stopping to see who I was with, but I gave them a disgruntled head nod that just sent them on their way. Let them think what they want about me and my new roommate. Their opinions matter less than their names to me.

“So you’re pretty popular around her?” He asked, shifting his body towards me.

“I wouldn’t say popular.” I laughed. “That’s a high school thing. I’m just known.”

“What’s the difference?” Normally I would have snapped back with something snarky, but I could tell he just really didn’t know.

“Popular is like… When you’re part of an elite group of people and everyone wants to be your friend, where as I’m just known from the shit I’ve done.” I could see the wheels turning in Jamison’s head. He was definitely trying to process something, but I thought I had made it pretty clear. “What?”

“So, are you going to have a bunch of parties in our dorm?”

“No!” I laughed. “Hell no. Last thing I need is for some crazy girl to know which dorm I’m staying in and try to stalk me back there again.” I watched as a wave of relief swept over Jamison’s face. “BUT,” I interjected, making that frown pop right back up. “Just because we’re not having parties in our dorm, doesn’t mean you can get out of actually going to a party with me. I’m not letting you waste away your college days with your nose in a book.”

“Isn’t that what college is for?” He asked in all innocence. I swear it’s like this kid has never watched TV.

“Yeah, but not when you’re rooming with me.” I chuckled. “Now come on, we’ve got a whole other side of the campus to explore.” I briefly patted his leg as I stood up, and I could feel his entire body tense under my hand. I didn’t know whether to be offended or worried, so I decided to just not be either. If it bothered him enough, he’d tell me.

The rest of the trip around campus was pretty quiet, some people actually did stop us to talk which was ridiculously annoying, but I played nice and kept my words short. Jamison didn’t talk at all when people would stop us, unless asked a direct question. Which I found out is how he deals with most things. Getting him to talk was almost like prying teeth, but I guess in some ways that’s better.

I would never have to worry about someone talking my ear off, nor would I have to worry about someone not listening to me when I spoke.

We got back to our dorm at around four that evening. Like I said, it was a big campus. I could tell Jamison was tired, but I was still all riled up.
“Alright book worm, I’m gonna shower.” I stated as I pulled out my wallet and phone from my pockets. “There is a menu in the top drawer over there, call the Chinese restaurant and order us some food. I like the number seven with WHITE rice.” I said, making sure to emphasize what type of rice I liked. Lord knows if they give me that brown gross vegetable rice again, I’m going to have a fit. “Order yourself whatever you want.” I tossed over both my phone and wallet and smiled. “It’s the red card, don’t worry about price.”

Jamison looked at the two objects as if they were from different worlds, but I didn’t give him time to object. I just grabbed my bag and headed into our bathroom. I should have definitely unpacked my clothes, but I was too damn lazy to do so… Not that carrying my duffle bag around was any less work, but… Well, you’d have to be lazy illogically lazy like myself to understand.

For instance; unpacking isn’t fun, but walking around campus was though. Especially around people who knew about my sexuality. I knew they were dying to ask if Jamison was “someone special”, but they all knew better than to actually do so. He could be my brother for all they know. So I guess you could say I’m just lazy when it comes to boring things.

My shower was short lived. I really didn’t need to take one, but I just wanted to wash away any worry of having to take one tomorrow when I’d have to wake up early for class. This way I could sleep in and get that ‘perfect’ bed head look so many tried to achieve by using gels and sprays.

Don’t get me wrong, if I look like ass I will definitely take some time preparing myself, but usually it just comes naturally. Not to toot my own horn or anything.

I slipped into an old pair of sweats and threw on the hoodie sitting on top of my bag. Though it was August, it was never truly warm in Michigan. Especially being right smack dab in the middle of the state which was basically surrounded by water. We also didn’t really have a choice in what the temperature was either. If we complained, Joyce just said buy a blanket and socks, which I didn’t mind. Some kids can’t handle anything over 68 degrees. Like Joyce says “It’s easier to over heat and die, than it is to freeze to death.”

Which I wasn’t completely sure was true, but I’d just take her word for it. Arguing with her never seemed like a good idea.

When I left the bathroom I smiled cheekily at my roommate, I could see the flustered look on his face and he still had my phone in hand.

“So, did you order the food?” I asked as I dropped my bag at the end of my bed and throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper beside it.

“No… I tried, but I couldn’t understand what the lady was saying; so I just hung up.” I bit my bottom lip to hide the laugh I was desperately trying to fight. I totally forgot that the restaurant owners wife hardly speaks any English.

“That’s okay, I’ll call. What do you want?” I asked, taking my phone from him.

“You really don’t have to get me anything…”

“I know I don’t, if I thought I did I wouldn’t have offered. Now what do you want?”

“Uh, the number three I guess then.” I nodded and dialed the restaurant. This time I specifically asked for Bing Bong, or Ming Chong or whatever his name was. I just kind of grunted out the most stereotypical noise I could make and eventually the owner finally came onto the phone.

I saw Jamison covering his mouth in utter shock from the corner of my eye and I internally patted myself on the back as I ordered. No one could even see us and he was beyond mortified by my slightly racist act. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Asians or any other race, I’m just rude to anyone.

“They’re probably going to spit in our food now Keagan…” Jamison mumbled as he pressed his palms to his forehead.

“No they’re not, the owner knows me. His wife just can’t speak English. I wasn’t rude to him and he makes the food.” I laughed. “So calm down. His wife probably thought I was Korean or something.”

Jamison sighed but smiled. “Well thank you for the food anyways.”

“No big deal.” I shrugged.

“No, it really is. I’ve got dinner tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes but didn’t protest. Any amount of money I could save would probably benefit me in the end.

It took about forty minutes for the food to arrive, to which I answered the door for. Jamison refused to do it since I had been ‘so offensive’ on the phone, the exchange went off without a hitch though. The little Asian girl who must have been the owners’ daughter giggled happily after I winked at her before closing the door.

I might be gay, but I’m not stupid. Winking at them lets me skate by with a crumby tip. When I wink, they don’t bother to look down at the receipt usually… Unless they’re not gay, then they get all huffy.

I handed Jamison his food and sat down opposite of him on my bed. We primarily ate in silence, and I could tell Jamie was starving. I mean, this was his first meal of the day and I was too, but I actually took time to taste the food that I had before me.

“Question…” He began, as if I would object to answering something about myself. I nodded anyways, just to make the process move along a little faster. “Is that your grandmother in that picture with you?”

I felt my body tense as I looked over at one of the only few items I owned and cherished. Talking about that woman was hard, so I just shook my head no.

“No, she’s not my Grandma; just an old friend.” I mumbled as I shoved more food in my face. I didn’t want to let him know it was an uncomfortable topic for me. That would just lead to more questions I didn’t want to answer.

“Oh…” He said, as if my answer was something remotely profound. “You guys just look happy, that’s the only reason I ask.”

I nodded quickly in response and turned my attention back to my food in front of me. I sucked at hiding things when it came to that woman, and I could tell Jamison already knew I wasn’t being completely honest.

Of course he did though. If I was going to keep anything personal around this guy, I’d have to get better at my poker face.