Just Breathe

Harry’s eyes bulged out of his face at his father’s words. “What?! No! I believe I would know if I were or not.”

“Ms. Clarke, if you will,” Thomas urged to the brunette woman who sat just a few feet away. Standing she shuffled through a folder of paperwork.

“Sir, you knew a Miss. Elora Elizabeth Catherine Smith correct?” Noelle asked as she glanced at the ginger who sat before her, his face showing all the confusion he was feeling.

“Yes, we dated for almost 5 years. I’m sorry I just do not understand what she has to do with this. Wait, has she filed something with the Services? Why wouldn’t she come to me instead?” Harry questioned, his eyes moving from Noelle to his father and back again. With sad eyes Charles nodded for Noelle to continue.

“My apologies sir, but Ms. Smith did not make it through child birth,” Noelle told Harry, her eyes not being able to hold his as she noticed the tears well in his blue eyes. She hated when she had to do this part of her job, it wouldn’t happen often, but when it did she hated it. Taking a breath she handed an envelope with his name written on it to him. “She gave birth a week ago and had this letter and asked to it delivered to you. She wanted to place your name as father to the baby, but because of your status that could not just happen. I contacted your secretary who arranged all of this. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, sir.”

Harry shook his head, his head unable to contain all of this information he was just given. Ellie, the woman who he had been with for so long, was gone, but had given birth to their child? Why hadn’t she told him before? Why hadn’t she tried to get into contact with him? Then it hit him, she had been sick before they had broken up. She had told him it was nothing. Then…then he told her about his one night stand that happened, and she broke up with him.

Standing, Harry felt his breathing increase. It all made sense. She was pregnant when she broke up with him; mentally he counted back to when it happened. 9 months almost 10.

Fuck.

Harry moved to the window opening it allowing the air to blow in at his face.

“Harry…Henry!”

Turning, Harry saw that his father was staring at him with a concerned look, they all were.

Harry nodded taking a deep breath. “It’s mine. Look before any of you say anything I didn’t know, but Ellie had been sick prior to us breaking up. It’s been 9 almost 10 months now, it would work out that it’s mine. What is it anyway? I don’t like calling a baby an ‘it’.”

Noelle smiled despite the circumstances at hand. “A girl.”

“A girl?” Noelle nodded as he smiled. “A girl, I have a little girl. Is she named?”

“She is.” She replied. “Arya Charlotte Sophia.”

“Arya.”

“Sir, we need to discuss this situation at hand. You cannot just accept that what is being said is true, I must insist that we perform a paternity test,” Thomas argued standing. “Surely, you understand why.”

“Thomas, what I understand is that the woman that I loved, the woman that I was with for 4 almost 5 years of my life gave her life giving birth to our daughter. Yes, I believe her when she says it’s mine, Ellie had never lied to me,” Harry retorted feeling his face grow hot with anger.

“That will not be necessary. I have already given what was needed for a test; I know well enough to know that he would not go through with one. I believe Ms. Clarke also has those results,” Charles stated smiling at the young woman who nodded. She could tell that his smile was tight and stressed, nothing about it was happy.

“Yes, sir. It came back a match.”

“There you go, she’s mine. When can I go see her? Better yet, where is she exactly?” He asked blushing.

“She’s still in the hospital, sir. We like to approach the father’s before we begin to place in alternative placement.”

Harry nodded. “So when am I able to go meet her?”

“Sir, we have to talk to your grandmother. You do understand that under the present laws this child will not be titled or gain any form of protection because it is-“

“SHE, the ‘it’ is a she and her name is Arya. It will do you well Thomas to learn that. As for why she would not be entitled to a title, I understand I mean, after all, I am part of the Royal Family. Currently, the title or lack thereof, I am only concerned with seeing my daughter and bringing her home. Everything else can just wait,” Harry stated turning to his father. “May I have a moment with my father alone please?”

Slowly, each staff member and Noelle rose from their chairs and exited the room. Harry began pacing the room waiting for either the right way to begin or for his father to start talking. He knew his father was being polite because of the other people present, but Harry could see through it. Harry could tell his father wanted to have words with him and he didn’t blame him, hell, he was surprised out of anyone, but this child…Arya was his and he would be there for her.

“Pa, I know you are disappointed in me and that this hurts the image of the family, but you must believe me when I say I had no idea. I did notice that Ellie was sick but she never told me she was expecting,” Harry said coming to stand in front of Charles. Charles watched his son from the very beginning of it all today and he could tell that all of this was a surprise. But even still, as a father the disappointment he felt towards his son becoming an unwed father also nagged at him.

“Henry, sit down,” Charles told him, his voice monotone. “I cannot pretend that I am not disappointed because I am. This is not something that I would have wanted for you, for anybody, but here we are. I cannot go too hard on you though, you have been given enough horrible or surprising news and for me to just yell or be angry at you would not help matters. I am deeply saddened by the loss that you and now this darling little girl have faced; she will be brought up in a world not ever getting to know her mother. I know you and William lost your mother very young, but you still had a good amount of years and memories with her first.”

Harry nodded, he did feel horrible that his daughter…their daughter would never get to meet Ellie and see just how much of an amazing person she truly was. He would have to make sure that her memory would live on, that their daughter would still know about her mother even if she wasn’t alive to give her the memories herself.

“I am proud of you though, Harry. I do not want you to think that I am only disappointed in you, I am also incredibly proud that you will be raising this little girl,” Charles allowed himself to smile at those last few words. “A little girl. My goodness, I’m going to be a grandfather to two grandchildren soon. First a granddaughter and then…well, whatever William and Catherine are having.”

“What if I am not good at this? What if I royally mess her up?”

Charles looked at his sons face, the look of pure helplessness taking over his features and he had to chuckle. “Well, my dear boy, welcome to fatherhood. Shall we see when we can see your daughter then? It’ll probably be best to bring her here, it’ll be awfully suspicious going into a hospital and bringing out a baby. Besides, your Granny is also a softy for babies, so the title talk may go over easier with Arya present.”

Harry nodded standing following his father’s movements.

“And Harry? You’re not alone in this, we will all help.”

“Thanks, Pa.”

The 60 minutes that it took for Arya to be packed up and transported to SJP was the longest 60 minutes of Harry’s life. The entire time he went over many different things: who she would look like, would she have ginger hair or brown like Ellie, whose eyes would she have, but also would she not like him, what if he was a horrible father, what if he couldn’t juggle his military duties, his royal duties and being a father. He paced, he thought out loud, he even tugged on his thick head of ginger hair and finally when the door to his office opened, Noelle was being led in by his secretary and security and held in her hand was a car seat covered by a blanket.

Taking a deep breath, Harry approached the car seat that Noelle had set on the sofa in his office.

“Sir, are you ready to meet your daughter?” She asked him, a soft smile tugging at her lips. Harry took a last deep breath meeting her eyes with his giving her a smile before nodding.

Noelle took the blanket off of the top of the car seat and inside laid a little baby dressed in black trousers, and a pink with black polka dotted ruffled sweaters over a white babygrow. On the baby’s feet were little socks that were made to look like they were also shoes. But when Harry looked at her face, at her head, there was no way he could ever disagree that Arya was his daughter. For there, on her head lay little tufts of ginger hair and to Harry there had never been a more beautiful baby in the world. The pull he felt towards her was like nothing he had ever felt before.

“You can pick her up if you would like, she is your daughter,” Noelle told him with a kind smile while she leaned over and taught him how to unhook her from the car seat. Carefully, Harry lifted Arya from the seat she had been laying in. Her eyes remained closed until the point he cuddled her to his chest, it was then that they opened and he was greeted with replicas of Ellie’s eyes staring back at him and he felt his heart clench. She would never meet her, she would never get to know their daughter the way he would and that hurt him more than he could ever say. But here in his arms was a perfect mix of the two of them. Yes, it was still too early to say who Arya looked most like, but her eyes were definitely Ellie’s and her hair was without a doubt his.

“Hello Arya, I’m your daddy and I love you very much,” He whispered to her softly before placing a soft kiss to her forehead. A tiny squeak sounded from the little, tiny infant in his arms causing a chuckle to erupt from him as tears fell over from his eyes and down his cheeks. Softly he ran a finger down her face from her forehead to her cheek before her finger wrapped around his index finger. His heart swelled with love and emotion as she squeezed onto his finger, her tiny mouth opening as she watched him.

“She may be hungry, sir, she ate almost 2 hours ago.”

Harry turned to Noelle who handed him a small bottle of formula moving out of his way so he would sit on the chair nearby. Once he sitting Charles walked over to where he was smiling as he watched his youngest son feed his newborn daughter. The tears that sprung into his eyes were not expected, but he knew there was no way he could keep them at bay. He saw the way Harry was looking at Arya, it was a look that he had gazed at William and Harry both like, and it was the look of pure love and devotion. Harry was a father, and there was no doubt about that.