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I'm Losing My Reason To Be Here
Two
"So what now?" She asked.
"Well, we could go back to my house." He suggested.
"You bought a house here?" She asked
"Yeah, right on the lake." I smiled
"The lake where we had our first date?" She asked with a smile.
"You betcha." I said with a grin.
"James, that's so sweet." She said and took my hand in hers and we walked to my car and drove to my house.
"So how's hockey been? I mean before the concussion." She asked as we walked through the front door.
"I got traded from Dallas to Pittsburgh." I shrugged.
"Yeah, I was wondering why you said Pittsburgh and not Dallas." She laughed.
"Yeah, I really like it there. I have this crazy Russian on my line." I laughed and thought about Geno.
"Define crazy." She said and sat down at the island in the kitchen.
"He's just," I paused trying to think of a word. "Goofy. I guess you could say." I said with a laugh.
"I see." She said.
"And then there's Sid who's the captain." I said.
"Yeah, I've seen pictures of him. He's not that bad looking." She smirk and I glared. "You know that you're the best looking guy in my book though. Perfectly tousled hair, nice eyes, ginger stubble...." She trailed off and I could see the gears moving in her head.
"You're not so bad yourself." I smiled and looked at how her dark hair made those special eyes pop.
"Thanks superstar." She said with a wink.
"So when do you want to go back to Pittsburgh?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter." She shrugged
"Tomorrow? I want to show you around." I smiled
"Okay, sounds good." She smiled and got up and walked over and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I missed you." She whispered.
"I missed you too." I said and kissed the top of her head.
"I just wish that I was actually here." She sighed. "I don't want to be a ghost, I want to be normal again." She said and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I want you to too but we can't change the past." I said and squeezed her.
"I just miss talking to everyone. I can't imagine what my parents are going through." She said and let out a shaky breath. "They lost both of their kids James. They never got the chance to have grand kids and never got the chance to see their kids get married." She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"Rach, they'll get through it I promise. They're two of the strongest people I know." I said and rubbed her back.
"I-I just want to tell them that I'm okay, that I'm actually here." She said sadly.
"I know you do. If I tried to tell them they'd think I was crazy." I said. I really felt bad for her. She'd been alone for two weeks with no one to talk to and was probably rough on her.
"James?" She asked.
"Hmm?" I replied
"Do you still love me?" She asked and I pulled back from the hug and looked at her like she was crazy.
"Why would you think I didn't?" I asked with my eyebrows knitted together.
"I thought that you might've moved on." She said with her head down.
"Look at me." I said and tilted her chin up so she looked me in the eyes.
"I'll love you forever. Please don't think other wise. I don't care if I'm the only person who can see you. We have each other and that's all I need." I said and she smiled and I pressed my lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist.
"I love you James." She said while ran her fingers through my hair.
"I love you too Rach." I said and kissed her nose while she smiled. She then let out a big yawn and rested her head in the crook of her neck. "You want to go to bed?" I asked and she pulled away from our embrace.
"Piggyback ride?" She asked knowing that I would cave in no matter what.
"Okay." I said and squatted down and she jumped on my back.
"You're heavy." I said
"Are you calling me fat?" She asked
"No! I just thought you would weigh like nothing." I said and climbed up the stairs to my room.
"Good choice of words Mr. Neal." She said and we finally reached my room. I sat her down on the floor and she then walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room an got my sweatshirt and a pair of shorts out and walked into the bathroom.
"You know, there's nothing that I haven't seen." I yelled through the bathroom door with a smirk.
"Shut up James" she laughed and came out of the bathroom dressed in my clothes.
"Well doesn't someone look sexy." I said wiggling my eyebrows.
"Go get your pajamas on." She said while rolling her eyes and pushing my into the bathroom. I got changed and came out of the bathroom to see her staring at the ceiling. I walked over to the bed and pulled the covers back and lied beside her. She then snuggled up into my side and rested her head on my chest.
"I love you James." She whispered while she laced her fingers in mine.
"I love you too Rach." I said and kissed her forehead. I then heard her start to snore softly and smiled. I felt my own eyes start to get heavy and before I knew it I was fast asleep.
"Well, we could go back to my house." He suggested.
"You bought a house here?" She asked
"Yeah, right on the lake." I smiled
"The lake where we had our first date?" She asked with a smile.
"You betcha." I said with a grin.
"James, that's so sweet." She said and took my hand in hers and we walked to my car and drove to my house.
"So how's hockey been? I mean before the concussion." She asked as we walked through the front door.
"I got traded from Dallas to Pittsburgh." I shrugged.
"Yeah, I was wondering why you said Pittsburgh and not Dallas." She laughed.
"Yeah, I really like it there. I have this crazy Russian on my line." I laughed and thought about Geno.
"Define crazy." She said and sat down at the island in the kitchen.
"He's just," I paused trying to think of a word. "Goofy. I guess you could say." I said with a laugh.
"I see." She said.
"And then there's Sid who's the captain." I said.
"Yeah, I've seen pictures of him. He's not that bad looking." She smirk and I glared. "You know that you're the best looking guy in my book though. Perfectly tousled hair, nice eyes, ginger stubble...." She trailed off and I could see the gears moving in her head.
"You're not so bad yourself." I smiled and looked at how her dark hair made those special eyes pop.
"Thanks superstar." She said with a wink.
"So when do you want to go back to Pittsburgh?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter." She shrugged
"Tomorrow? I want to show you around." I smiled
"Okay, sounds good." She smiled and got up and walked over and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I missed you." She whispered.
"I missed you too." I said and kissed the top of her head.
"I just wish that I was actually here." She sighed. "I don't want to be a ghost, I want to be normal again." She said and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I want you to too but we can't change the past." I said and squeezed her.
"I just miss talking to everyone. I can't imagine what my parents are going through." She said and let out a shaky breath. "They lost both of their kids James. They never got the chance to have grand kids and never got the chance to see their kids get married." She said with a single tear rolling down her cheek.
"Rach, they'll get through it I promise. They're two of the strongest people I know." I said and rubbed her back.
"I-I just want to tell them that I'm okay, that I'm actually here." She said sadly.
"I know you do. If I tried to tell them they'd think I was crazy." I said. I really felt bad for her. She'd been alone for two weeks with no one to talk to and was probably rough on her.
"James?" She asked.
"Hmm?" I replied
"Do you still love me?" She asked and I pulled back from the hug and looked at her like she was crazy.
"Why would you think I didn't?" I asked with my eyebrows knitted together.
"I thought that you might've moved on." She said with her head down.
"Look at me." I said and tilted her chin up so she looked me in the eyes.
"I'll love you forever. Please don't think other wise. I don't care if I'm the only person who can see you. We have each other and that's all I need." I said and she smiled and I pressed my lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist.
"I love you James." She said while ran her fingers through my hair.
"I love you too Rach." I said and kissed her nose while she smiled. She then let out a big yawn and rested her head in the crook of her neck. "You want to go to bed?" I asked and she pulled away from our embrace.
"Piggyback ride?" She asked knowing that I would cave in no matter what.
"Okay." I said and squatted down and she jumped on my back.
"You're heavy." I said
"Are you calling me fat?" She asked
"No! I just thought you would weigh like nothing." I said and climbed up the stairs to my room.
"Good choice of words Mr. Neal." She said and we finally reached my room. I sat her down on the floor and she then walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room an got my sweatshirt and a pair of shorts out and walked into the bathroom.
"You know, there's nothing that I haven't seen." I yelled through the bathroom door with a smirk.
"Shut up James" she laughed and came out of the bathroom dressed in my clothes.
"Well doesn't someone look sexy." I said wiggling my eyebrows.
"Go get your pajamas on." She said while rolling her eyes and pushing my into the bathroom. I got changed and came out of the bathroom to see her staring at the ceiling. I walked over to the bed and pulled the covers back and lied beside her. She then snuggled up into my side and rested her head on my chest.
"I love you James." She whispered while she laced her fingers in mine.
"I love you too Rach." I said and kissed her forehead. I then heard her start to snore softly and smiled. I felt my own eyes start to get heavy and before I knew it I was fast asleep.