Lust For the ***s

I will lurk the inside of innocence, feed them their needs, and rip apart their soul as if they never had one. I have no conscious, so I feel no regret for every life I have taken. The pleasure that increase’s inside of me is unexplainable. The look on their faces make me have my joyous remedy. I love the feeling I get - the fire on my tongue whenever I look down at them and smirk.

Murder is something I’ve always thought about when I was a little sadistic kid. The way I’m so merciless towards my victims make me chuckle. I used to rip heads off of my sister’s Barbie dolls while a baby and shank stuff animals while I was a little toddler. I’m very mathematical about how I kill. Ever since I was around eighteen until the age twenty-six, I’ve killed one person each week. I do not do my killing all the same. I have all different kinds of plans plotting in my head and I can’t wait to use each and everyone of them.

It’s been years and years since I’ve felt the fire burning in my throat, my heart beating fast and my palms getting sweaty. It gave me so much sensuality, I’d get so turned on by the screams and yells of the faithful aggravator. The one thing they’d all whisper before I finished them off was always the same.

“Please, God… help me.”

Where’s your god now whenever your eyeballs are coming out of your eye sockets and your throat has been ripped out and your insides have been violated? He is no where to found, he will not help you. You can only do your best by running away.

I love it when they run, gives me a little game to play. But, you can’t run from the mighty assassin my parents birthed.

I just wish everyone would get pissed, slit their wrist and go jump off a bridge. Would be so much easier for me. I wouldn’t be all pissed off if everyone was just gone, except her. She is the only reason I’ve dealt with all this bullshit for me. She knows everything about me. And when I say everything, I don’t exactly mean everything.

She doesn’t know how I crave the feeling to kill. She doesn’t know that I love slicing a person open, ripping out their insides, and feeding them to my dogs. The feeling it gives me, oh what a rush of adrenaline it gives me. I have complete control over the person, and it makes me fucking ejaculate.

My last kill, made me harder than a diamond rock. I remember as if it was yesterday - I destroyed everything I had left. The only person that had ever cared me for me, and I fucking slashed her as if it was nothing to me. She lifted up every tarnished hope I ever had in my lifeless mind.

And here it goes again, running through my mind like a movie, haunting my every move and making every little step I take a mistake.

I shouldn’t be walking, I shouldn’t even be breathing without her beside me. I close my eyes every time it played, and it went a little like this, from that very night, whenever I knocked on her front door.

She answered, wearing those cut off booty-short jeans, and that red and black stripped tank top that made her bust look larger than it really was. Her hair was like it always was; red and blonde, short and straighten. Her excellent eyes made me feel as if I was swimming in a sea of green iris. Her lip piercing made her lips look slightly bigger than they were, and her thick eyeliner made her eyes pop out bright.

Her smile made me know she was glad to see me, and she escorted me in, straight towards her room, just like we always went to. I sat on her bed, and she sat beside me. I loved these silent moments we always had. I knew we weren’t saying everything, but all the words were being whispered into my ear by just sitting next to her beauty.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I need her love, I need to be inside of her, to feel every little part of her. I needed to know what it was like to love her. I quickly turned towards her, my mouth meeting hers, and our lips moving at the speed of light.

Our clothes ended up on the floor shortly, and the way our body moved in perfect harmony, and the way she screamed my name made me all.. Warm inside. Our bodies glided together, and our moans were music in the air. We were making passionate love to one another, and I loved every bit of being inside of her.

I put my mouth to her neck, and took in all of her. She was glowing, glistening with sweat from her hot body. The room was still steamy from our sexual intercourse we just had. I sat up, grabbing my shorts and slipping them on.

“Sean,” I heard her lovely voice mutter.

I looked towards her.

“Yes, Brianna?”

And now, what she was about to say really fucking pissed me off. My insides were now on fire, and I gripped hard onto the bed sheets.

“I think I’m in love with you,” The words kept replaying inside my head and I seriously wanted to explode right now. My face was red, and the room was now hotter than the devil’s dick. She had to ruin the moment with those words, those words that should never be said; said to me especially.

She looked at me and blinked.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t have anything to say to her, I stood up off of the bed and slowly walked to the dresser, her tweezers sliding into the palms of my right hand. I clenched my hand tight, feeling the dull object dig into my skin.

“Sean… “ She said my name, and I turned around, throwing the tweezers at her, hitting her left eye, shaking her and she screamed. She screamed loudly, and I got erect again. She backed up against the wall that her bed was pushed against, her bare body exposed.

I stepped towards her, and I saw the blood on her face, running like a waterfall down her face and onto her neck, chest, breast, and even further down. She was whimpering like a little dog, so defenseless and no one to run to for help. I got closer, and I grabbed a hold of the tweezers and ripped them out, hearing her scream even louder from the pain I was forcing upon her.

I grabbed her lip rings with the tweezers, and ripped both of them out, slowly. As she pushed me back, screaming my name once more, I grabbed her hair brush came back at her, and smashed her head with it, as it bounced back to the wall, hard.

She was already slightly dying, as she was bleeding to death from her eye-wound. She better have enough left in her to apologize for bleeding on my shirt that was lying beside her foot. I took the hairbrush, smashing it with her a couple more times, and I left the room.

I went into the kitchen, and found the sharpest knife I could, and while I was turning around, a bloody face had walked up behind me, and slammed my face with a baseball bat. I fell back against the counter, the knife slightly cutting my side and I growled.

I pounced at her and I couldn’t see it coming, but she got me in the head with the baseball again. It wasn’t as hard as she could’ve hit me, but I could understand why. I fell to the ground, and I slammed the knife into her foot and she cried out.

I felt like I was drunk with this lust of murdering right now. I got up to my feet, reaching behind me and grabbed a blunt butter knife. I walked up to her as she dropped the baseball back to the ground, she had given up so easily.

“Kill me, Sean.. You don’t see that I rather be dead than without you. I don’t even know why you’re doing this, but I’m sorry. I love you so much, all of this doesn’t even hurt.” She said with a last gasping breath, and then she whispered out.

“I love you… “

My eyes began to water severely, and I grabbed her shoulder, shanking her in the stomach with the knife, and continued the act. I would usually be so mean and disturbing with my victims, but I couldn’t with her; it was impossible to do to her what I did to other.

“I love you too, Brianna.” I choked out of my crying fit.

I let go of her, and the knife fell to the ground, as she did so too.

And there, at that moment, she was gone.

She was gone forever, and I would never be able to share my love with her again, and I would never be able to hear her say she loved me again.

But, I guess it would be for the best, it would’ve happened sooner or later, I’m sure.

I haven’t anticipated on killing someone like this, but now I know what it’s like to kill out of love, and anger at the same time.

And now, I’ll be alone, forever.