Hello Darkness, I Am Home

Andy put his hands in his pockets, keeping his head down as he quickly made his way down the wet street. The rain continued to fall steadily around him, his clothing and hair already soaked through. He crossed the last block and checked the nearly empty street before running across and up the stairs to the front of the red brick building. Thunder rumbled above him, but he didn't hear it. Beside the door was a white panel of buzzers, few of them still had names, but Andy didn’t need to look to know which one he wanted. He pressed down three short rings then waited for the loud buzzer of the door opening.

Once inside he skipped the stairs going straight to the elevator and impatiently tapping the up arrow repeatedly. He couldn’t stand still, his brain couldn’t slow it’s speeding pace even for a moment. Far too many seconds later for Andy the doors opened with a ding and he stepped inside, hitting the button for the third floor, then giving the close door button the same treatment he’d given the up arrow. He shifted from foot to foot as the elevator seemed to crawl up the floors. Rain water dripped from his dark hair, his hood having had no effect on keeping his hair dry.

Tears had been stinging Andy’s eyes since he'd hit Lenning avenue, and now they threatened to finally fall. He blinked quickly trying to push them away and resisted the urge to run down the hall. Door 12 came into view and Andy couldn’t help it as he knocked repeatedly, the rhythm matching that of his pounding heart. On the other side of the door he could hear the chain drop and the lock open, before the door slowly swung open. Without thinking Andy launched himself at the man in the doorway, his tears pouring freely as he held onto him for dear life.

Luna silently wrapped an arm around Andy, closing the door with his free hand and replacing the lock. “Come on Angel.” He murmured into Andy’s hair. He leaned back and slowly lead Andy into the living room ignoring the water now seeping into his clothing.

Luna sat down on the couch and pulled Andy down into his lap, who gladly curled up against him, eyes squeezed shut as the tears fell endlessly. Luna rubbed his back soothingly with one hand while keeping his other arm wrapped around him. Humming softly Luna closed his eyes and rested his head against Andy’s.



Eventually my tears ran dry, but neither of us moved away from each other.

“Do you want some tea Angel? My Jasmine came fresh today.” His voice was soft, reminding me of a gentle summer breeze. I nodded silently, waiting a moment before moving off Luna’s lap. I rubbed at his eyes with the sleeves of my jacket.

Luna watched me sadly, and brushed his hand through my hair as he stood up. He pulled a blanket from behind him and draped it over me then disappeared into the kitchen to make tea.

Shrugging off my jacket, I left my shoes by the front door, knowing Luna hated it when I wore my boots in the house. For as laid back as Luna was, he hated dirt in the house unless it was in a pot with a plant.

I listened as Luna turned off the stove and poured the hot water into the teapot, then dug out one of his tea tins from the cupboard. The soft echo of metal gently hitting wood reverberated through the kitchen and I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the back of the couch. A few moments later Luna returned, setting a tray with the teapot and 2 of his signature pottery mugs on the worn blue coffee table and sat down beside me. He reached under the table and pulled out a maroon tin, pulling the lid of and setting it aside. Luna pulled out a piece of shortbread, set it on a plate and handed it to me, then set the tin on the table beside the tray.

“The negativity around you is so thick, what happened?” Luna sat back and watched me sadly. I took the plate silently, resting it on my knee and staring down at the cookie shaped like a four leaf clover. For as long as I had known Luna the man had always had a stash of homemade shortbread, always in the shape of some kind of flower or leaf. On special occasions it would be star bursts, or crescent moons, but more often than not it was a four leaf clover.

As I repeated the question in my head I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly to myself. “What hasn’t happened Luna? Jesse trashed my apartment, then dumped me accusing me of stealing from him, which turned out to be a lie, as he had actually been stealing from me for the last three months. Couple of days ago I lost my job at the cafe because they’re going into foreclosure, and they can’t afford to give me my last check until a month from now. So I’m loosing my apartment in a few weeks since I can’t pay for it.” I stared down at my plate unseeing as I spoke, only lifting my gaze to meet Luna’s once I’d fallen silent. “And it’s getting worse Luna, it’s happening more often...I keep thinking-...I-I c-can’t t-take this anymore.” I closed my eyes as tears threatened to fall once more and turned my face away from the man.

“Angel...” Luna whispered sadly, wrapping his arm around my back and letting me lean against him. “Jesse will get his karma, and the cafe wasn’t the right job for you anyway, you always knew that." He murmured. "Don’t worry about your apartment, I’ll come over tomorrow and help you pack your stuff, you’re moving in here with me, I’ve got a spare room anyway.” I moved the plate to the table and leaned my elbows on my knees, holding my head in my hands. “Angel listen to me, we’ll get you through this ok? I won’t let anything happen to you, I won’t let those dark things get you, I promise. Do you hear me Andy? I won’t let them win.” Luna rested against my back, his cheek against my shoulder as he spoke softy.



We spent the afternoon curled up on the couch, the TV playing reruns of the old black and white movies Luna loved so much. I tried to pay attention but couldn't keep my gaze from drifting out the large picture windows to our left. The rain hadn't ceased to fall, and the dark skies reflected my feelings like a mirror. Luna's hand squeezing my shoulder gently brought my attention back to him and I looked up from my spot leaning against his chest.

"Angel it's seven, did you bring your meds?" I stared at him blankly for a few moments before figuring out what he was talking about and silently shaking my head. Poor Luna knew my schedule better than I did, now that I thought about it he always had. After my stunt in high school I'd been prescribed a batch of pills I couldn't pronounce. As against doctors and pills as Luna was he'd made it his job to memorize what I took when so he could make sure I did it.

He sighed softly and looked out the window before gently nudging me off his lap. "You finished off the bottle I kept last summer so I don't have any more." He stood up and wandered into the kitchen, the sound of keys jingling reaching my ears. "Come on Angel, I'll drive you home since I doubt you drove here." He reappeared in front of me and pulled me to my feet then headed to the door. I reluctantly followed, pulling on my boots and stepping out into the hall.

The ride home was quiet, save for Luna singing softly along to some radio station I'd never heard of. We pulled up to my building and he put the car in park before turning to look at me, his gaze searching mine for something. His hand found mine and he squeezed it gently, offering a comforting smile.

"I'll come by tomorrow at nine to help you get your stuff." He paused biting his bottom lip for a moment before adding, "I'll bring breakfast."

I nodded and murmured a soft goodbye before getting out of the car and stepping into the lobby. Glancing back I watched Luna pull away in his ridiculous VW van. He'd had the thing since I'd first met him back in high school and I'd watched him over the years paint the entire thing. In all honesty it was absolutely stunning, even more so knowing it was all hand done.

"Hello Andy." I nodded to my doorman and headed to the elevator.

"Hey Nick." I stepped into the elevator dreading walking into my apartment. The ride was fast and soon enough I found myself standing in front of my door. I took a deep breath and turned the key pushing the door open to reveal my trashed living room. I walked inside kicked off my shoes and locked the door behind me. My whole apartment was a mess, as Jesse had taken it upon himself to destroy most of my stuff out of spite before he finally left. I wandered through my living room into the kitchen flicking on the light. Shards of glass and remnants of shattered plates littered the counters and floor. Carefully avoiding stepping on any I pulled open the cupboards finding them mostly empty only a couple of coffee mugs and a single blue ceramic plate with an aquarium scene on it. Close them once again I walked down the hall to my bedroom, pausing in the doorway as my gaze roamed the fabric littering every surface. The curtains hung at a strangle angle, and my dresser was void of all it's drawers, the contents strewn across the floor. My closet door was open revealing the empty rod and a few lone hangers everything having been pulled from it and scattered. Loose papers covered the bed along with various other things I'd kept atop my dresser and my desk.

It wasn't until I reached down and started gathering my scattered belongings that I realized I was crying. I brushed the tears away and walked into my bathroom avoiding looking in the mirror. The drawer that held my pills was untouched, as was most of the bathroom, and I sifted through the bottles, all in varying stages of full, half full, and empty. Finally finding the one I needed I dumped two into my palm and put the bottle back, closing the drawer with my hip. I grabbed the glass by the sink and rinsed it out before filling it halfway and downing the two small pills, along with the water.

With that off my mind I wandered back into my bedroom and finished clearing the floor, piling my clothes in a pile by my closet and everything on my desk. I pulled the curtains closed only for them to fall down completely, but I was too exhausted to care and simply left them there pulling back the covers and crawling into bed fully dressed. I closed my eyes and ignored the tears that continued to fall silently.