Desperate Measures.

No, this can't be happening. It can't be true. We were supposed to get old together, grow up and adopt kids. Get a house and have a beautiful front porch. Spend all our days together, argue and make up. We were supposed to have so much time left. So much time that we can spend frivolously, on whatever we want we should have had years left. So many years that we can fulfil all of our lifelong dreams in. We wanted to travel the world. We were going to do so much together, he was supposed to come with me. We were supposed to drink away our birthdays and wake up the next day with an unbelievably bad hangover. Kiss away our morning breath and make love until ridiculous hours in the morning. Wake up to his beautiful smiling face every day for the rest of our forever. Make him breakfast in bed for Christmas morning. Stay up late and have deep conversations about the stars and the meaning of life and why we exist.

Those are the words that you hope you never have to hear from someone you love. And especially not at such a young age of 25. Our days were supposed to be endless, limitless. But here we are. In his house him looking at me with the utmost love in his deep brown eyes. Tears brimming over the side, threatening to spill. After dropping the biggest blow to my already fragile heart. I never wanted to hear that from him, why him? Why not me? Life is so unfair.

As I stared back at him, taking in all of his features and committing each individual curve of his body to memory. The way the light was shining in his eyes, making them almost look magical. The way that he hadn't shaved in a few day and the stubborn hairs grew back slightly darker than the hair on his head. The way he takes hours on his hair to get it sitting just the right amount of messy. The way the dark circles under his eyes showed that he was a fighter and he was trying to keep going. The small scars that covered his wrists were fading slowly, ever so slowly. How he sits almost hunched over but keeping his main focus on me. The way that when you enter the room you can feel our love for each other envelop you. The way his lips slightly part whenever he has to think about something too hard. How he wraps his hair around his fingers repetitively to calm himself down. I wanted to remember them all.

It was a cruel, harsh world out there. It was us against everyone. We thought we were untouchable.

But it turns out, we aren't. No one is. And it only took a few words forced together into the last sentence anyone wants to hear to bring us down to earth. My Alex, he was my entire world and I watched in fear as my world crumbled before my very eyes.

"I'm sick and I don't have that long left Jacky."