Status: Completed

I Will Always Love You


There are a few things that attracted me to the caramel haired boy from the very start. You could say that my attention span is lacking severely when I’m around him. It’s always focused on what I fell in love with all those years ago.

His hair, the way it falls over his forehead, the way it sticks after sex, and the way it is pushed back when he is frustrated or angry, or showering. And the way that he styled it the same way ever since I first met him. The way he runs his fingers through it when someone doesn’t understand him, and the way it’s been in so many colors, I couldn’t personally count. The way I tug harshly on it, and the way I stroke it when he’s sleeping. The way he flips his caramel colored, brown streaked hair is one of the many reasons I fell so deeply in love with him.

His eyes, the way they dart over to me when I walk into the room, the way they roll back into his head after his orgasm shakes his foundations and the way he looks at details, eyes flickering to take in colors, shapes, sizes. The way they widen when he hear things that surprises him, or when they scare him, the way they close just before his breathing regulates, and the way they slightly close when he is on the verge of falling asleep. The way they squeeze shut when he gets into a song, the way they look up to me when I reach over him for his touch, and the way he tears up when I showed him the wedding ring or when he walks out of the therapy sessions, I was there waiting for him. The way they are perfectly match to mine, the way they stare into mine screaming out 'I love you' with each moment they are locked, is one of the many reasons I fell ever so deeply in love with him.

His body, the way it shakes when he’s cold, the way he is so responsive on stage, or after a show, the pre show jitters, and the butterflies he gets when I try and kiss him. The way his hands run over my chest, the way his hips arch into my touch, and the way he wiggles his hips ever so slightly when he walks away. The way his limbs fit perfectly to mine, the way his legs are so perfect, and the way they jerk in random directions, then you know he is living in his dream, when they spread shoulder width apart, his spit and water drenching the crowd. The way his arms fly up when he is mad, the way he huddles in a corner when he is sad or homesick, and the way he begs for a moment to kiss or cuddle me when we are in bed. The way his body rolls when he tried to take his shirt off, the way he works out for certain tours, and the way he can eat whatever he likes and still look like a prince. The way that I still don’t know every space and inch of him, the way that he takes my hand and I feel like we are going to run away, and the way his hands glide over the guitar, or hold the microphone. The way his lips touch mine, so slightly, so roughly, the way our limbs tangle beneath the white sheets of the hotel we begged to stay in, and how his stomach is perfect. How he makes me feel when he uses his body the right way, how he dances to stupid music, and his hips swaying in all directions. How when he sleeps he sometimes twitches, there are so many reasons I fell ever so deeply in love with him.

His voice, the way it turns to a low groan when he is angry or aroused, the way it changes when he speaks to me, or a stranger, and the way it gets shaky when he tells me about his past. The way it can make me feel special, and so astringed at the same time, the way it gets higher pitched when he is crying, and the way it sounds when he wakes up. The shy 'good morning' he chokes out, his hot breath hitting my neck, the way he sounds when he warms up, and the small noises that escape his mouth when he is holding back tears or laughter. The low moan he produces at the slightest touch, how his voice had changed people’s lives, the way he speaks when he still has his retainer in, and the lisp he gets when he is tired. The raspy voice he inhabits when he hasn’t slept in a while, the whine that he gives in the morning, realizing that he has a crushing hangover, the way his voice raises when he gets mad, and the small voiced apology he makes after yelling at me. The way he is so articulate, the way he speaks around people who he barely knows, like how he spoke to my parents for the first time, and the way he speaks when he’s had one too many wines. The way he says “I love you” before a show or before he goes to sleep, the way he mumbles sweet nothings into my ear at 2am in the morning, and the way his pants to tell me if I’m doing it right. The way he screams my name, the way his voice mumbles it in his sleep sometimes, or screams his brother’s when he is having a nightmare, and the way his short breaths indicate the start of another panic attack. The way you can hear the excitement in his tone when we’re going to perform on stage, the way you can hear him smiling over the phone, and the way his voice sounds will always be one of the many reasons I feel ever so deeply in love with him.

His personality, more than anything, the way when he meets fans, he doesn’t pretend, he isn’t fake, the way that I know it will never change, and the way some words can trigger memories that make him mad or make me have a salty tear stained shirt. The way he refuses to disappoint people, the way he’s indecisive about small things, his love for Halloween and space, and how he thinks that the world is his oyster, how he embraces each day with a smile, but lets you know when its forced, and how unexplored crevices of his mind comes out when he is lying next to me. Our limbs in a tangled sheet of mess at three in the morning, where he utters the words, "I love you, Jack" in my ear. I will never get tired of hearing those words, those words, those actions are the reason I fell so deeply in love with him.

I know you're six feet under the stars Alex, but I will never stop loving everything about you. Absolutely everything. I love you Alex, and I’ll see you again, not today, baby. But very soon.

Rest in a peaceful slumber, darling. Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I love you, always and forever.
♠ ♠ ♠
Beta: Carissa

Thankyou again darlin' :)