The Ghost of You

Frank stares down at Gerard. He is breathing heavily, not trusting his own senses. He dashes to the alleyway's wall and his hands clutch it. " What's happening to me?! " He asks himself in disbelief.
Out of nowhere, a brilliant white light shoots into the laneway as a host of glowing forms, radiating an intense inner light. Shining so bright that Frank has to squint to see Gerard clutching his dead body. A blinding tunnel spirals in an infinite vortex behind them. Frank is both awed and confused. The light is is sort of enchanting him. The rest of the footpath, street and buildings surrounding begins to disappear in the soothing light.

Gerard can't see any of it. He just simply wails into Franks lifeless body. " Don't leave me. Please, please. I need you, Frankie. "

Frank is still frightened. " Gerard! " He calls out. Gerard doesn't seem to hear him. " GEE! "

There is still no response. Frank is was passed being deeply troubled, because he hesitates for a moment, being torn between Gerard and the light. Then, in a painful, but conscious gesture, he turns from the light and walks toward Gerard.
At that instant, the light blocking the street disappears with the sound of a mysterious door creaking then closing. There is a sense of terrible finality as the light evaporates into some sort of void.
Frank's is left on the dark pavement. He stands there a moment, as if in shock, and then begins running toward Gerard, trying to find a way to comfort him. Frank can hear loud Ambulance siren, alerting Frank that it's just rounding the corner.

Swirls of light speed toward them as the Ambulance makes it's way around the corner and parking it's self right near dead Frank and sobbing Gerard.

Frank's body get's slid in the back of the Ambulance as a Paramedic applies electric paddles to his chest in an effort to save him.
After a moment, he looks up at Gerard. Frank can tell from the expression in his eyes that it is hopeless.
" Don't stop! I'm not dead! " He screams at Gerard. " Gee! Please. I'm not dead! "

Gerard just kneels over Frank's body, grabs him at his shoulders and begins to cry in long terrible sobs.

*______*

Frank's ghost waits outside the Ambulance as Paramedics roll him out. As the stretcher begins to roll out the Paramedics rush him through to Surgery, but as they pass, the stretcher and the men roll right through him. The penetration of his physical space is horrifying. He stands, almost paralyzed, as the body of the Orderly intersects with his. It is a stunning moment of extraordinary strangeness as Frank witnesses the Orderly's body go through and past his. It is like a glimpse of ultimate chaos, like a universe within.

Frank is shaking as he stares up at the ceiling.
" Oh God, help me. "
As the ceiling lights and tiles begin to blur, the hallway grows dark. It is as though Frank is having a black out. He doesn't know where he goes. All he thinks is a praise to God that his Holiness had the power to close his eyes at that very moment.

*_________*

Slowly, images begin to emerge out of the blackness. It takes a moment to realize that the scene that is unfolding before Frank's eyes is actually his funeral day.

He's at the back of the crowd of long rows of mourners.
All he hears is snippets of conversations. It all seems strangely odd and disjointed. Time seems unfixed, malleable.
A Minister standing beside a grave.
Frank's grave by the looks of things.

MINISTER
As we say farewell to our friend Frank Anthony Iero.
Wheat, we are reminded of his
kindness, his generosity, his buoyancy
of spirit...

Frank spots associates from the bank among the mourners.

MINISTER
All that we treasure, our friends,
our loved ones, our body, our mind,
are but on loan to us. We must
surrender them all. We are all
travelers on the same road which
leads to the same end.

Suddenly, Gerard comes into focus and Frank is so happy to see him that he almost falls to his knees. " Gee. " he breathes out.

He doesn't respond to his name. Mike, Gerard's younger brother, lays his head on his shoulder. Frank hadn't seen Gerard's family in a very long time.Tears start to bubble up in Gerard's eyes yet again. A hand reaches out to give him a tissue. As Gerard looks up, it's Ray. He gives him his hand and Ray squeezes it back with affection.

MINISTER
...and into Your hands we commend
his spirit. May he rest in peace. In
the name of the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The casket is now being lowered into the ground. Gerard approaches the grave and is a little unsteady. Ray dashes up and takes his elbow. A shovel is slowly placed in his hands. With great emotional effort he lifts a shovelful of dirt and tosses it onto the casket.

Frank shudders and dissolves in his black out again.

*

When he re-emerges he notices he's back in his loft. His head swirls a bit and his eyes focus on the corner of the room.
Gerard is in his art corner with his back to Frank.
As he approaches he sees raw clay on a potter's wheel spinning hypnotically and lonely. Gerard takes a deep breath in and then presses his wet hands in, shaping it, molding it. To Frank it's like he's deliberately trying to get back into the motion but just can't seem to enjoy it. It kills Frank, that his Gerard can't focus on something he loves so much and is passionate about so much. It knocks him off his feet. He falls the floor beside Gerard, grabs his knees to his chest and starts to rock aimlessly.

Gerard looks away from the bowl he is trying to form. It distorts and bends. He turns back angrily and he digs his thumb into it. The bowl disintegrates and tears form in his eyes. Quietly, he begins talking to himself, into the air.
" Oh God, Frank. . . "
Frank looks up.
" I picked up your shirts this morning. I don't know why. Mr. Reynolds said to tell you hello. I broke into tears. It's so fucking hard. . . "
Frank get's up to hold Gerard. Desperate for contact, he reaches out to touch Gerard's cheek, but then hesitates and pulls back.
" I think about you every minute. It's like you're still here, like I can feel you, Frankie. "

He stares at him, hoping, wondering." I am here, Gee. I am. "

As if hearing Frank's voice, the cat, Molly, begins to hiss.
Gerard spins around and see's the cat on the kitchen bench. The cat scans the room. Unexpectedly, Frank and the cat's eyes meet. With a wildly loud screech, the cat jumps from the bench and takes off running. Frank recoils.

Gerard stands up. " Molly, what's wrong? Molly?

The cat is nowhere to be seen.
All of a sudden, Gerard's shoulders tense. It'is almost as though he senses Frank's presence.
" Frank. " He holds very still for a moment.

Frank watches breathlessly, wanting him, standing right beside him. Then quietly, hopefully, he reaches out. It is a useless gesture.

Gerard shakes his head and walks right through him. Frank remains in the art section alone. He takes a deep breath and follows after Gerard.

Gerard's already got his hands into Frank's belongings, sitting in the corner of a large, walk-in closet. Boxes are scattered everywhere. His life's possessions are scattered.
Gerard reaches aimlessly for a shirt from their cupboard. He doesn't bother getting up to unhook it from it's hanger, so when Gerard pulls on the shirt, the hanger goes flying, falling among one of the many boxes.

" Wait, Gee. Not that one. That's my favorite. . . "

Gerard tosses it into an empty box and then takes down a sweater. It is obviously handmade, about four sizes too big. Frank recognizes it. He would remember something Lady Helena had made for him.

Gerard holds the sweater tenderly and presses it into his face. After a moment he throws it away. Then, in a surprising outburst, he cries out, stands up and begins pulling at the shelves.
Everything comes flying off. Many things falling and hitting the floor hard. Frank tries to reach out to console him but his movements are useless. " Gee, don't. "

Unexpectedly, Ray comes racing into the room. He takes hold of Gerard by his shoulders and brings him to the bed.

" Say something. Help him, Toro. "

" It's hard. It's very hard. " Ray says simply.

" Oh good. That's really good." Frank shakes his head.

*________*

Gerard and Ray are standing in the bedroom folding piles of Frank's clothes and placing them into boxes. As Gerard lifts one of Frank's jackets, something falls from a side pocket. It is his small black leather address book. Frank stares at it with recognition. Ray sees the book fall and stoops to pick it up but Gerard gets it first. " Frank's address book. " He skims through it for a moment, but the memories it evokes are too powerful for him. He places it carefully into a box labeled 'Frank's Things -- Valuable' and continues packing. He finds the old jar with the penny in it. It's marked 'For Luck'. He holds it tenderly for a moment and then places it on the nightstand beside the bed.

Ray discovers some old ticket and another one of Frank's jackets. He examines them. " Smashing Pumpkins. Newport '99. Should I toss 'em? "

" No! "

" Gerard," Frank crossed his arms over his chest. " We hated that concert. "

Gerard takes the stubs and lovingly puts them in the box. Frank groans.

Ray finds a half opened package of M&M's. Gerard snatches them from his hand and stares at the admiringly.

" Oh, you want to save those? "

" M&M's? What are you doin' Gee? " Frank shakes his head.

Gerard keeps staring at them for another moment. " I miss him, Ray. "

Ray comes over and takes his hand." We all do. "

Gerard bows his head on his shoulder. Ray strokes his hair. " Hey, Gee. Why don't you come out? It's a nice time for a stroll. "

" No. "

" Just for a stroll? It'd be good to get out? "

Gerard shakes his head and turns away. " I can't do it Ray. "

Ray seems annoyed." Gerard. . You're not the one who died! "

Gerard stops and looks at him. He has struck home. Hard. After a moment of deliberation he nods his head. " Fine. Just a short walk. "

Ray gently squeezes his shoulders." Thata girl. "

Before Frank even understands what is happening, they are exiting the loft. Frank jumps up and runs after them. " Hey, Gerard! Wait! "

But the door slams shut. Frank is locked inside. Frightened and desperate, he rushes for the door knob. His hand sinks through it making that familiar sucking sound. Frightened, he yanks it back and waits a couple of minutes. He circles the space several times and then returns to the door. Clenching his teeth, he reaches out again. As his hand pushes up against it. He experiences a subtle resistance. The hairs on the back of his hand vibrate as his ghostly form presses into it. Frank is riddled with fear as his entire arm disappears from view. The grating sucking sound is loud in his ears.
The sight of his amputated limb is unsettling but Frank does not pull back. Slowly he edges in and presses his face into the molecules of the wood. As atoms and electrons spin past him at frightening speed there is a sense of a universe in total chaos. Terrifying sounds charge through his body. Pulling back from the door his hands are trembling.

Suddenly, there is a sound at the door. Frank's eyes shoot up. The door begins to open.
His face begins to tighten, knowing instantly that something is wrong. His eyes fill with a fury.

The Mugger, the man who killed him, is entering the loft. He has a key in his hand and puts it in his pocket. Frank is so stunned that he has to balance himself before he falls over. The Mugger locks the door behind him and strolls in.