Time Stood Still

Chapter 18: I’m Not Okay and its Not Alright.

Josh’s POV

****“Why don’t you boys go and play in the woods for now.”
“But daddy I thought we were going to the water park?” I whine.
“Sorry Joshua, but we can’t go anywhere until I get this flat tyre sorted.”
The five year old me frowns, sticking out my bottom lip as I pout in disappointment. I was really looking forward to going to the water park today, daddy promise he’d take me but now his stupid truck broke down and now we were standing on the side of the road next to the woods.
“Go play hide and seek and I’ll come find you in a bit.” He says, pulling out some tools from the truck and placing them on the ground.
“Come on Josh, let’s go hide!” my best friend says, smiling in excitement as he pulls at my shirt towards the trees so we can go hide.
“Don’t wonder too far and stay away from the road! And look out for each other!” my dad calls out as all three of us as we run off through the long green grass and disappear beyond the tall trees of the woods, I guess hide and seek wouldn’t be too bad to play.
Me, Victor and Mikey were giggling and running around the trees of the woods, trying to look for the best places to hide so my dad would find it hard to find us when he came looking.
“Victor lets hide here!” Mikey crouches down behind a rock, pulling Victor with him not far to where my dad was fixing the car. But my dad was still in view what would make it too easy for him to find us. I wanted a better hiding place.
“That’s a lame hiding place Mikey, daddy will find us straight away.” I say, looking in the direction behind us… the darkness of the far woods was inviting me and I just couldn’t stay away.
“No its not!” he whines.
“Come on Victor lets find a better hiding place.” I take his hand and take a couple of steps before Mikey grabs hold of Victor’s other hand and stop us from going further.
“Victor you can’t leave me, I’m scared!”
“Come on Mikey, let me go.”
“No!”
I got too impatient waiting for Victor to make up his mind if he was going to hide with me or stay with his scared little brother, which probably who he would stay with. I let go of Victor’s hand and wonder off into the deep parts of the woods.
“Josh your dad told you not to go too far!” Victor calls out to me but he was only upset that I would find a better hiding place than him.
“I’m not, I’m just finding a hiding place cooler than yours.”
I wonder further into the woods, probably a lot further than I was allowed to but I wanted to win hide and seek so I had to find the best hiding place.
I stumbled across a wall of leaves but something told me that it was only a disguise, something was hidden behind the bushes and I was going to find out what. I crawled under the bushes which lead to some rocks waiting of the other side, I stood up and peered over the rocks by standing on my tip toes which revealed a little pit surrounded by bushes and basically out of sight from everything. They definitely won’t find me here, this was the best hiding place by far and I couldn’t wait to claim it as mine. I climb over the rocks sliding down them to get to the bottom and landing on the dirt below with a soft thud. I manage to rip my shorts and graze my knee on the way down, causing me to hiss in pain at my bloody knee. All of my attention was focus on my knee, my little fingers trying to wipe away the blood which dribbled down my leg but I only seemed to make the blood smear over my leg causing the wound to start stinging. I suddenly hear some sort of deep muffled noise come from deep in the bushes in front of me. My head snaps up and my little wide eyes stare into the bushes searching to find what was hiding among them. It’s probably a bird or a rabbit but I still wanted to see it.
“Come out, I know your there.” I call out to the animal but then see two yellow circles appear glowing in the darkness of the leaves. I should be scared of the mysterious glow in the bushes but I was only more intrigued by it, I had found something magical and I wanted to see it.
“Don’t be afraid, you can come out.” I say standing up and walking towards the bushes trying to see if I can get it to come out from hiding.
I hear a quiet chuckle.
“Then you’ll be afraid.” A deep voice answers. I was a little shocked to hear a voice answer me back but my curiosity only got the better of me.
“No I wont, I’m not afraid of anything.” I say placing my hands on my hips annoyed that the magical glow wouldn’t reveal itself to me. What could be so scary about glowing circles?
Slowly the leaves began to rustle out of the bushes and then a tall pale man with black eyes which glowed yellow around them revealed himself to me. I stare up mesmerized by the man, he looked just like my daddy but he had glowing eyes, what was there to be afraid of?
“You should be afraid Joshua.” The man tells me.
“I told you I’m not afraid of anyth- hey, how do you know my name?”
“I’m Oliver. So now you know my name too.” the tall pale man says. And I smile up at the man who introduces himself to me, not phase in the slightest that there was a strange man with glowing eyes talking to me. His eyes shift down to my knee which was still covered in blood, his eyes glowing brighter than before.
“Let me clean that up for you.” Oliver crouches down as I sit back on the ground so he could clean the blood off my knee. His touch was cold against my skin but surprisingly he somehow made the cut to stop stinging.
“You shouldn’t be wondering around in the woods by yourself Joshua, it’s not safe.”
“But you’re here.” I frown a little, confused why he was allowed to be in the woods on his own and not me if it was so dangerous.
“Yes I am. And lucky for you it’s only me here today.”
“But you will keep me safe won’t you Oliver?” I ask innocently and he stops cleaning my knee, gazing up at me with those wide black glowing eyes.
“I will always keep you safe.” He promises, placing his cold finger under my chin so my eyes were levelled with his as he stares deep into mine. I didn’t really understand what he meant but I felt comfortable with the idea that this mysterious man with glowing eyes would always keep me safe. And I didn’t see anything wrong with that.

“Joshua!”
My head whips round as I heard my daddy’s voice in the distances. He was looking for me and he sounded angry.
“That’s my dad.” I say turning back to Oliver who was still level with me.
“He’s looking for you.”
“He couldn’t find my hiding place which means I win.” I beam breaking into a big smile, all excited knowing I won hide and seek and Oliver smiles back at me standing up.
“You better get back before you get into trouble.”
“Will I see you again?”
“If you want to.” He asks and I nod and smile up at him as I climb back onto my feet.
“But for you to be able to see me again you can’t tell anyone about me. Do you understand Joshua?”
“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” I say shaking my head and he smiles, ruffling up my hair with his hand. He picks me up and lifts me over the rocks with ease and places me back on my feet on the other side next to the bushes that I had crawled under in the first place. I turn back around to face him and hug one of his legs tightly to say goodbye. I glance up and smile widely at him and Oliver looks a little shocked but his face soon softens and smiles down at me.
“Bye Oliver.”
“I’ll see you soon Josh and please try to stay out of trouble.” He says placing his hand on the back of my head and I nod before letting go of his leg and crawling back through the bushes to find my dad, Victor and Mikey on the other side looking for me.
“Joshua what did I tell you about wondering too far?!” he scolds at me, holding out his hand so I take it and I do.
“Sorry daddy, I didn’t mean too.”
“Come on lets go otherwise it will be too late to go to the water park.” He pulls me along as he walks us back to his truck, but not before I look back one more time and smile as I see the two glowing circles disappear into the darkness of the woods.***

My eyes flutter open before I groaned loudly at the intense migraine which was currently pounding through my brain. I immediately close my eyes again, turning on my side and buried my face deep into my pillow hoping it would help ease the pain. It didn’t though; the movement only seemed to have worsened the pain causing me to whimper continuously into the pillow. I felt something wet and cold against the side of my face forcing me to open my eyes again. My vision slightly blurred as I tried to adjust to my dim dark room and when my eyes finally focus on my pillow, I saw there was a small patch of dark crimson blood settling into the light grey sheets. I grimace down at the sight, wiping my runny nose with the back of my hand, coating my fair skin in a strip of the same crimson blood.

“Shit.” I mumbled looking down at my hand. I lifted a shaky hand to my nose feeling the warm liquid leaking from my nose. Not another nose bleed. I groan pulling my hand away from my nose to look at the evidence, which left a hideous amount of blood on my hand which was more than enough to make my stomach turn and within seconds, I felt the vomit coming up my throat. I bolted out of my room towards the bathroom down the hall, ignoring the dizziness and pain the day light caused my head and to the horrid feeling of it wanting to explode. I fell to my knees and threw up down the toilet for a good ten minutes or so, leaving me to sob quietly to myself. I stood up on wobbly legs to attempt to clean myself up over the sink, the action causing every part of my body to hurt and my head screaming out with pain, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep this migraine away but something told me that it wouldn’t be that easy.

I cleaned myself up as much as I could before walking back to my room. I changed into another t-shirt quickly and pulled the blood stain pillow case off from my pillow for the second time in the last 24 hours already and replaced it with a new cover.
The nose bleeds and migraines had started to become a regular occurrence, at first it just started out as minor headaches but then the headaches worsen, which soon led to these unbearable migraines and then nose bleeds. I had no idea why this was happening to me or what was causing it, all I knew is that I just wanted it to stop.

I didn’t see Oliver yesterday or the day before that, so luckily for me he didn’t witness the first nose bleed and migraine which originally made me go straight to bed. Oliver had been acting a little distant the last couple of days, I last saw him three days ago which was only for an hour and he didn’t say much either… I didn’t mind too much though because I pretty much was trying to avoid him so he wouldn’t witness these stupid migraines of mine before I figured out how to deal with them myself. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he showed up again though; it has been four days since he last drank from me so I knew he would be getting hungry.

I collapse down onto my bed, placing my pillow over my face blocking out every bit of dim light as I possible could to help ease this migraine. I press my fingers to my temples and sob a little trying to do whatever I could to relieve the pain and drift off to sleep again but even that seem to be difficult.
My mind had other ideas though and swiftly drifted off to the dream I had woken up to. That dream was so strange… everything about it made it feel so real. Every detail made it seem like it actually happened, such as the way Oliver’s eyes glew so bright through the bushes, the way every touch of his was gentle and how he spoke to me so over protectively but yet so sweet. The way I innocently looked at him fearlessly and admired him as if he was the most beautiful and magnificent creature which had ever walked the earth. It was like a scattered dream that’s like a far off memory… one I couldn’t quite figure out but I wanted to line the pieces up but right now I really couldn’t focus on anything but needing to sleep away this nasty headache.

~~

I wake still suffering from a migraine but no way as bad as it was. I somehow manage to roll out of bed and make my way downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of water. I was rather hungry and even though it was one in the afternoon I started making myself a bowl of cereal. Pouring the milk into the bowl my head started to spin, I tried to ignore it and focus on the bowl of cereal in front of my eyes but it quickly worsens. Not long did I see droplets of blood splash down onto the kitchen counter around my bowl, my vision turning fuzzy as my head began to throb and without any control of what was happing I fell backwards as the dizziness took over me and everything just went black.

***I was lost in pure darkness; I couldn’t see anything but hear the sound of the waves from the sea all around me. My mind was searching for an image, a dream, a memory, something to place the sound of the crashing waves which filled my ears but no picture appeared in my mind, only a voice.
“I told you to stay out of trouble didn’t I?”
A voice. His voice. His angel like but yet stern caring voice rang through my ears but I saw no image to fit his words.
“I’m so sorry this happened to you love. I know I promised I would always keep you safe but I had to make them pay for they’re careless parental responsibilities. I just hope you’ll find it in your precious little heart to forgive me on day.”
His voice sounded so heartbreaking and I didn’t understand why or what was even happing, I was frantally searching my mind for answers than just his voice but I got nothing but the darkness. Why couldn’t I see him? Why couldn’t I see what was going on? I had to know why he was sad, he needed me… my forgiveness for something and I wanted to let him know that it was all alright even though I had no idea what was going on.
“I’ll come back for you, I promise.”***

“Josh.” A demanding but worried voice called out my name, placing a hand on my back shaking my body gently.
My body finally responses as my eyes gradually flicker open; the harsh coldness of the marble floor and the wet substance against my cheek made me wince and groan in discomfort. My eyes focused closely on the dark red liquid beside my head, the dark red mixing in with the other liquid, streaks overpowering and turning the white colour a shade of pink. Unsure of where I was and what I was seeing before me, I soon put my surroundings together and realised I was laying on my kitchen floor. The cereal bowl was broken into pieces as my body layed in the accidental mess which was blood and milk scattered around my limp body.

I turn over on my back gasping in pain from the movement, how could I still be in so much pain? My head literally felt like it had been run over by a train about five times.
“Josh what the hell happened?” Oliver appeared above me, large black eyes wide and filled with concern. Fuck, of course he would be the one to find me; I didn’t want him to see me like this.
I tried to sit up but it was more of a struggle than it should have been but thankfully Oliver clocked on and helped me sit up. He sat down on the floor next to me, allowing my body to lean into his for support.

I wiped the wet unpleasant substance from my cheek and grimace down at the back on my hand when I see that the dark crimson blood over powered the milk. I groan and hold the back of my hand up against my nose to stop the blood from pouring out of it. God knows how Oliver could bare to be this close to me while so much of my blood was everywhere, especially when I knew he was hungry, this must have been really difficult for him withstand.

“I- I must have passed out.” I whispered, unsure of what actually happened. Oliver replaced my hand with a kitchen towel, holding the fabric against my nose as it continues to pour with blood. This nose bleeds with severe, none of them have been this bad yet and it was causing me to feel light headed and sick again, I could already feel my stomach turning.
My head was throbbing and it wasn’t just from the fall, it was the same horrid throbbing pain from earlier… why wouldn’t it just go away? Nothing makes any sense, why is this happening to me? I whimper a little from the continuous migraine that seems to want to cause me nothing but agony.

“I’m taking you to see my dad.” Oliver demands and I shake my head no at him, the little movement wanting me want to vomit.
“N-no. I’m fine.” I wince in pain yet again, my body failing to lie for me.
“Fine? Josh, you don’t get nose bleeds and pass out over nothing.”
“I’m fine, really.” I say, pulling the towel away from my nose which seemed to have finally stopped bleeding.
I tried to stand up but stumble backwards; Oliver saves me by locking his arms around my waist, holding me tightly so I could stand on my own two feet without losing balance again.
“That wasn’t a request Josh, you can hardly stand up on your own!” He scowls and even before I had the chance to argue back, I was hit with an unexplainable wave of pain.
“Ah!” I whimper, backing out of Oliver’s hold.
Both of my hands fly to my head as I cry in complete agony. I scream out with pain when a sudden sharp shock of unbearable pain shoots through my head causing every fibre in me to want to crumble in defeat. My fingers gripped onto my short curls and I begin yanking harshly on my hair as I begin to scream out with more pain than ever before. What the fuck is happening to me?!

“Josh?!”
“P-please make it stop.” I whimper through my cries, begging Oliver to take the pain away somehow.
“What’s wrong baby?” he asks, placing his hands on top of mine in order to try and calm me down but failed.
“I-I can’t take it anymore! Make the pain go away, p-please!”
I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I squeezed my eyes close shut, holding my hands tight against my head to help tolerate the pain. The shooting pains only became more extreme and it honestly felt like someone was stabbing me in the skull with a knife from every direction of my head.
I have no idea what’s happing but everything just seemed to be spinning out of control and I couldn’t do nothing but scream in distress from the pain I was experiencing. I opened my eyes but my vision was unclear making me squeeze my eyes shut instantly again but this time, I saw images of my dream from this morning flash through my mind, the progress causing me to scream louder.
“Josh, calm down. Tell me what’s happening?” Oliver orders but there were just no words to describe to him what was happening to me because I didn’t even know myself. I just needed him to take the pain away.
“Please! Just make it stop! Make it stop!” I scream, hitting my fists against my head harshly in desperation to find some sort of relief but Oliver grabs holds of my wrists to stop me from hurting myself and I whimper loudly at him.
“I’ll make it stop baby, I’ll make the pain go away.” Oliver says taking his hands off mine and pulling me to his chest before disappearing to another location.