Time Stood Still

What If I Can’t Forget You?

Josh’s POV

Yet again I was left on my own to spend another gruesome boring day at college. I was practically forced to go because Oliver made me and refused to let me fall behind even more on my work. I’m quite surprise he let me go on my own seeing as my blackouts have been unpredictable when they occur or maybe he thought I needed some space on my own to figure them out. I haven’t spoken to him since he introduced me to Jordan on the weekend.

I guess It’s not that bad seeing as music is my first lesson, I liked music class a lot but mostly because I got to sit next to Vic and we shared a lot of musical interest.

Vic still had not returned to college nor have I heard from him since the day at the beach when he tried to attack me in his wolfy form. It still hadn’t really sunken in that Vic and as well as the rest of them, were werewolves. You think that’s the kind of thing your long term friend would tell you but obviously not as it seem he wants nothing more than to rip my head off. I felt like Vic was holding some sort of grudge against me for wanting to be involved with Oliver, he wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain and I guess I’ll never will.

When I unhappily strolled into class I saw that Kellin was sitting his usual seat at the back of the classroom and instead of Vic sitting beside him a read head called Jesse had taken his place. Jesse seemed like an alright guy, I’ve spoken to him in this class a couple of times before but when he was in Kellin’s company he came across as a bit of a douche bag.
I took my seat next to Jesse and gave him a small smile which he surprisingly returned.

“Well look who decided to show up today.” Kellin mocks leaning over the desk to get a better view of me but I chose to ignore him.
“Heard anything from Vic? I’m shocked to see you’ve gone this long without having any physical attention from him. Missing his arm around your neck Franceschi?” He digs again trying to show off and be a hardass in front of Jesse but I really wasn’t in the mood for his shit today.
“Actually I have. Saw him and the others a few days ago, they haven’t really changed much accept from their amateur beast like appearances. Have you heard anything from them at all Kellin?” I smirk leaning back in my seat earning a death stare from Kellin himself. I knew he had no idea about what was going on with Vic at all, he just liked to pretend that he does so he could gloat that he knew more about him than I did. But the tables were turned this time and I must admit I did enjoy rubbing it in Kellin’s smug face.

“I’m sure he will call me when he’s feeling better.”
“Oh he’s better alright, out surfing and learning a few doggy tricks along the way to.”
“He was out surfing?” his confidence drops when he hears Vic has obviously been lying to him. I was acting like I didn't care about Vic but I was only lying to myself.

“Wow Kellin, for his best friend you really don’t know what he’s been up to at all these last couple of weeks have you? Not to worry, I’m sure he’ll call you when he’s not too busy being a complete animal.” I snigger to myself at my personal joke. Loving the look on Kellin’s face knowing he had no idea that his so called best friend and turned into an overgrown pig head mutt. A frown permanently setting on Kellin’s face as he slumps back in his chair, hating what I’ve told him.

“Whatever, at least I have Jesse unlike you who has no one. Not even Sykes seems to bother with you these days.” He smirks wanting to have the last dig and I just shake my in amusement. Oh shut up you annoying little toe rag, you have absolutely no idea.

Music turned out to be rather boring this lesson, I tried focusing on my teacher who was writing something on the white board but my eyes had gradually become blurry and a headache suddenly appeared and this could only mean one thing... Oh no, please not now.

My hand reaches for my head and I started blinking abnormally fast to try re focus my vision but it only made my vision worse. I started to feel rather dizzy and unknowingly I must have lent my head against Jesse’s shoulder as I blacked out for must have been for a few quick seconds, maybe longer.

“Oi Franceschi, don’t you think you have enough of the guys here drooling over you. I don’t think Jesse wants to be apart of your fucked up love triangle.” Kellin’s annoying voice pierces through my ears causing my headache to worsen. Ugh, could he just shut his big mouth for once!
I tried lifting my head from Jesse’s shoulder, all of a sudden my head feeling like a ton of bricks and almost impossible to hold up for long. I struggled to hold myself up but I fell against Jesse once again.

“Whoa, Josh are you alright mate?” I feel Jesse place his hands on both my shoulders and sat me up right in my seat. I just about manage to open my eyes again and I could feel my nose begin to run and I knew what was happening.
Just as I thought, blood appeared on the back of my hand when I wiped my nose and I groaned in pain.

“What’s going on back there?” my teacher asks seeing as we weren’t paying attention.
“Josh has got a nose bleed.” Jesse informs making the whole class turn and look at me.
“Oh I see, Kellin please escort Josh to the nurse’s office.”
“Yeah sure.” Kellin says standing up.
“No no, I’m fine really. I just need to clean myself up.” I stood up out of my seat unsteadily, trying to convince everyone that it was just a lousy nose bleed which will soon pass. I knew what was happening to me and I really didn’t want to pass out and scream from agony because a un expected memory has decided to pop into my head. And I defiantly did not want Kellin to witness it happen because I knew he would totally love making fun out of me for it for.

“Well if you think you are capable to go by yourself to the nurse Josh, go ahead but please be careful.” My teacher dismisses me and I quickly gather up my stuff and exit the classroom.

~~

Like hell I was going to the nurse’s office, there’s nothing she could do to fix the headaches I was suffering from. Instead I left the college premises and began walking along the beach not far from it. I just needed some fresh air and to be away from annoying people who didn’t understand. I didn’t understand it myself and not even the amazing unrealistic creatures who have suddenly become a part of my life understand it either, so how could any normal human being?

I let out a heavy sigh and then took in a deep breath of salty sea air as I continued walking along the beach. I started to feel okay and just stared down at the damp sand slowly absorbing my footsteps. Today was horrid and grey and the tide was far out at sea and not many people were out on the beach at this time which was exactly what I needed, space to be on my own and think.

When I thought the worse had passed I was foolishly mistaken when I was hit with a massive head rush.

“No, no, no!” I screamed as my hands grabbed hold of my hair and pulled harshly at the strands as I felt a monstrous migraine take over.
Please not now, not right here on the middle of the beach where I’m the only one in sight. This will not end well. Come on Josh, focus! Remember what Jordan said, I had to learn how to control the memories or whatever they were from leaking into my head and turning my fragile body to shut down.

But how the fuck do I control them? I’m just a human, I have no immortal power like they all have.

“Ah!” fuck, the pain was getting worse. I continued walking hoping it would distract me but it only made me become dizzier and nausea. My hands slip out of my hair to cover my face, I needed to think, quickly!

“Control it! Don’t let it in Josh, don’t allow to feel it, don’t let it in!” I cursed trying to motivate myself to somehow gain control over these memories.
“Don’t feel, don’t feel, don’t feel!” I yell, feeling myself falling into panic mode when all I had was no control.

My head was spinning and I saw droplets of blood land on the sand around my feet. Oh god, please. I can control this!! But in reality I really had no bloody idea how to control what I couldn’t understand. I squinted through my parted fingers to check on my vision and a faint image of Vic appeared in front of me.

“V-Vic?” I croaked confused what I was seeing before me. I was most likely imagining him or was I actually witnessing a memory right in front of my eyes? He was just standing there motionless, nothing but an image flickering in front of me.

He wore a smile on his lips and held both his arms out to me as if he was inviting me into his arms for a hug.

His long curls blew in the same direction of the wind, his chocolate brown eyes held warmth and kindness which resembles the Vic I first met a few months ago. I could trust this Vic, this Vic wouldn’t hurt me.

“Vic, what’s wrong?” I ask but talking only made me groan in agony and made the migraine worse. My hands pushed harshly against my temples to try and help ease the pain, my teeth were gritted tightly together, blood streamed out of my nose and I only manage to keep one eye open. I did whatever I could to hold myself together and fight against the blackout from happening.

I saw the image of Vic fuzz and crackle as if it was a TV set without signal. His image continued to fuzz but the image stayed the same without changing. I think he was trying to tell me something... I had to stay awake, what if he needed my help?

I reached a shaky hand out to him and took an unsteadily step towards him but when I did the image furthered itself away from me.

“Vic, please. Don’t... leave me.” I whisper in a croak and that’s when my body couldn’t bare it any longer and everything went black.

****
I was in flood of tears with my face buried in my arms wanting all the shouting downstairs to stop and go back to mummy and daddy being happy again. I don’t know why they were shouting at each other but I didn’t like it and they’re voices got louder and louder and it frightened me. I covered my ears to block out the noise and shouted at them to stop shouting at each other but they didn’t hear me. It was like I was invisible to them. I didn’t want to be here anymore, things were getting scary so I decided to run away from the noise. I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me up the stairs and ran into my bedroom and crawled under my bed. I knew they wouldn’t be able to find me hiding under here, I was safe here even if I could still hear them shouting. I just wanted the shouting to stop, I wanted to stop crying because big boys aren’t suppose to cry but no matter how much I wiped the tears away they kept falling. After awhile I heard another voice begin to shout which didn’t sound like mummy’s or daddy’s voice and I think that scared me more. I peaked up behind my arms and through teary eyes as I heard my bedroom door creak open and little tan legs walk into my room.
“Josh?” I hear a small voice call.
“V-Vic?” I stuttered and I see the small boy fall to his knees and peak under the bed to look for me and I’m met with the face of my best friend.
“Josh why are you hiding under the bed?”
I wiped my tears with my hand and pretended to be brave in front of him.
“They won’t find me under here and then when they can’t find me they will stop shouting.” I mumble not looking at him.
Vic crawls under the bed and wraps his arm around me.
“Don’t worry Josh I’m here to keep you safe. And I’ll keep you hidden from them.”
I cuddle closer into Vic’s side and he holds me tighter.
“Why are they shouting?” I sob.
“I don’t know but my daddy’s down there shouting at them too.”
Both of our heads fling up as we see my bedroom door open up and another pair of small legs walks further into my room.
“Victor!” a small voice cries.
“Under here Mikey.” Vic calls from under the bed and a teary Mike bends down to find both me and Vic hiding under the bed.
“Victor I’m scared!” Mike cries louder and Vic reaches a hand out to him and Mike crawls under the bed with us.
“Don’t worry Mikey, you’re safe under here with us. This is Josh’s secret hiding place so you can’t tell anyone else about it ok?”
“I won’t tell!” Mike sobs to his brother and he wraps an arm around both Mike and I and we snuggle closer into Vic’s side. He was scared himself but he was brave and made sure nobody would harm us.

*****

I could hear the sound of the sea and the calling of seagulls in the far distant, I must still be on the beach. I drag a hand down my face and groan, my head feeling rather sore from the previous black out I’ve just suffered from. I open my eyes but I’m blinded by the grey sky above and instantly cover my hand over my eyes again and grunt.

“You’re awake at last.” A familiar husky voice says and I quickly pull my hand away from my face and search for where the voice came from.

When my eyes finally focused properly, they land on the short tanned Mexican who was standing on some rocks not far from me. My first instincts were to smile up at my friend who I haven’t seen in awhile and reassure him that my unconscious state was nothing to worry about. But then reality sunk in and reminded me of everything of what has happened and of the fearless beast my friend has become. I feel my eyes widened and my heart race in fear.

I try to back away but realise I’m sat with my back against some rocks with nowhere for a hasty escape. I frantically start looking all around me for some sort of get away but I was trapped. Shit, he’s brought me he for some sort of revenge hasn’t he?

“Relax Josh, I’m not going to hurt you.” Vic assures but I wasn’t convinced.
“Says the mutt who tried to eat me the other day!” I shout generally feeling scared but my comment seemed to make him laugh.
“I didn’t try to eat you... scare you a little maybe but not eat you.” He laughs, taunting me in a snide way but I wasn’t finding it funny at all.

The mutt fucking succeeded on scary me, the dickhead.

My annoyed state gave me the confidence to relax a little, knowing Vic wasn’t going to lash out and attack me right this second but I didn’t want to take my chances. I stand up from the sand and pat my clothing down from all the sand and wiped the dried blood from off my face.

“Fuck you Vic.” I hissed and go to walk past him.

“Josh, wait, hang on.” He jumps down from the rocks and land on his two feet in front of me and I flinch back when he got too close.
“I’m not gonna hurt you.” He says firmly, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared at me.
I glared straight back at him, my eyes burn into him trying to read his body langue. It would be great to have Oliver’s mind reading gift right now, I needed to know if Vic was being genuine. I couldn’t trust him, not after last time.

It hurt not being able to trust him anymore and I hated that I now fear him, he would only take advantage of it.

I take in his new appearance. His beautiful long brown curls which used to lie just below his shoulders were now cut short into tight curls which hung below his jaw line. His shoulders were broader and he had become more muscular from the last time I saw him. And his new attitude literally stinks.

I didn’t like this new version on Vic, he was arrogant, pig headed and overly confident.

As we continue to stand in silence for a moment longer I sigh to myself knowing I was stupid for giving him a chance and hear what he had to say. After all he did owe me a proper explanation after everything that’s happened and I did annoyingly miss him. I haven’t stopped thinking about him honestly...

“You cut your hair?” I point out the obvious as an ice breaker hoping he would roll with it. But I really did like his long curls and now they were all chopped off.
“Err, yeah. Long hair didn’t really make it easy when transforming.” His uptight features soften when he notices me begin to relax around him.
“So, you’re a werewolf.”
“Last time I check.” He shrugs like it was normal.

I slump back and put my hands in my coat pocket. Great, I hoping it was a crazy dream.

“Since when?” I ask and I see Vic look away from me, reluctant to answer my question.
“The day we kissed behind the bike sheds.” He mumbles down at the sand.
“That was ages ago.” I confirm, registering everything what’s gone on after that. He’s been avoiding me since then and I’ve only just found out the truth. Fuck sake.

“Do you want to explain why you were wondering around on an empty beach when you were suffering from a severe nose bleed?” Vic question breaks me out of my thoughts and I look up at him.
“How did you know where to find me?”
“I received a rather bitchy text message from Kellin earlier, so I took my chances to come find you.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, of course Kellin texted him. He wasn’t going to let earlier conversation go so easily. I really rattled him up, good about time the shoe was on the other foot.

“He really has no idea, does he?”
Vic shakes his head, guiltily.
“I kept it a secret to keep both of you safe.”
I burst out laughing, not being able to control myself but Vic sent me an insulted look.

“Safe? You abandon me and then try to kill me after transforming into a massive werewolf! How is that protecting me at all?” I shout the truth but not after hearing my own words it made me read further into them.

My memory.

I hadn’t had the chance to go over and think things through because Vic showing up out of the blue distracted me. When I passed out earlier the vision which entered my mind was an old memory of me and Vic as kids. I was upstairs hiding under my bed from mum and dads arguing, crying because they’re loud shouting really frightened me. But Vic found me and assured me that even though the noises downstairs were scary he would keep me safe no matter what.

My heart warmed at the reminder of this memory, we were just kids and Vic was so brave and made sure he did whatever if could to keep me safe. He seemed to always be there to keep me safe... when I think about it, the incident on the beach when he transformed into a wolf, I think it was because he was actually trying to protect me. He doesn’t know the full story between me and Oliver so maybe he was just acting out of instinct?

“It was an accident Josh, but you did kind of piss me off that day. What are you doing getting involved with a monster like Sykes?!” I was so lost in thought I forgot that Vic was replying back to my last question. But no matter, his words still hurt me and made me very angry.
“Monster? How dare you stand here and call him that when you’re not even a human yourself!”
“I’m more human than that lifeless vampire you involve yourself with!” he growls stepping towards me with rage burning in his eyes.

Our anger and bad tempers started to get the better of us and the conversation was getting more and more heated. This is what happened last time, Vic got angry and turned into a deadly wolf, maybe its best if I tried to prevent that from happening right now. Even though he is in the wrong I don’t want to get eaten by my best friend today.

I took in a deep breath to calm myself down and tried to think of something to change the subject and calm Vic down also.
But then something came to me, Jordan mentioned that I erased my memories as well as other peoples. I wonder if I’ve erased any of Vic’s.

“The photograph of you and me in my room, you said it was the same day I drowned?”

Vic face fills with confusion as I completely change the subject but it did seem to distract him.

“What about it?”
“Tell me what happened that day.”
“I told you already Josh.”
“Tell me again!” I urged. And I received a sceptical look from him. But I had to know if I took his memories away to.

“I need you to tell me in exact detail. Tell me exactly how you remember. I need to know how I drowned.”

We both locked eyes and then he sighed and began telling the story again. I knew the first half of the story because he told me before but no one seemed to know the ending.

“...we were building sandcastles together and then I remember your dad coming away from the bbq and asking us if we seen my dad and your mum had disappearing to but no one had seen them. When I looked beside me you were gone... Maybe you went to look for them yourself or something but I don’t know what happened after to be honest. It’s all kind of a blur after you vanished but I remember everyone was upset over something but my dad returned and took me and mike away. He later told us that you drowned.”

Vic’s face held concern while he waited for me to answer but my mind had wondered into a frenzy of over thinking. But I had to figure out the missing pieces of the memory.

I was sat beside Vic one minute and then the next I was gone and he doesn’t remember a single thing after that... It was because of me. I erased that part of his memory that day, I must have done there’s no other explanation why Vic can’t remember that part of the day. He can remember everything what happened but not when I disappeared from the beach. I knew I had drowned and was found washed up on the beach and that image alone would be traumatizing for any five year old kid to witness and I must have known how upsetting it would be for Vic to see me like that, so there’s no doubt that I must have erased the memory from his mind to save him the suffering.

It was all beginning to make sense now but I needed help guiding me to more answers.

“Josh what’s going on? You’re kind of worrying me.” Vic places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze.
“I need to get out of here.”
“No Josh, tell me what’s going on, why did you need me to tell you that story again?”

I step out of his hold and walk past him and away from the rocks and out onto the open beach again. My mind was set what I needed to do and I had to go before Vic could stop me. I was doing it all for him after all.

“You wouldn’t understand Vic, I need to find Oliver.” I tell him but he grabs a hold of my wrist and yanks me back.
“Like hell I’m going to let you anywhere near that blood demon again!” he seethes tightening his grip around my wrist. I struggled to get free of his hold and before I had a chance to tell him to back off, Oliver was by my side within seconds not looking very happy.

“I don’t think you’re in the position of telling him what to do Fuentes.” Oliver rips Vic’s hand from my wrist and pushes me behind him and the pair sends each other’s deadly stares.
“Get your filthy hands off me!” Vic yells pulling his hand away from Oliver’s grip. Vic’s breathing had becoming heavy and he was becoming agitated and I knew this would only make him transform and turn into an ugly fight but there wasn’t any time for the two of them to act like jealous inhuman teenagers right now.

“Both of you quit it!” I shout to break them apart.

I stand in between them and push them away from each other and I glance back at Oliver straight in the eye so he would focus on me and not Vic.

“I need you to take me to Jordan.” My expression was dead serious and Oliver soon caught on and mirrored my expression.
“Why?”
“I need to speak to him, take me to Jordan now Oliver.”
“Who the hell is Jordan?” Vic interrupts stepping around so he could see my face.
“Shut up Vic.” I tell him feeling myself getting frustrated as Oliver wouldn’t do as I say and Vic constantly interfering.

“Oliver if you want to help me with my headaches you need to take me to Jordan.” Oliver nods now realising the importance of my situation.

“What headaches? Is this why you fainted?” Vic questions face full of concern now but I didn’t have time to explain to him.
“Vic-“
“Tell me what’s going on Josh.” He was getting annoyed and I bit my lip before sighing in frustration as I give in to him. I guess he would find out sooner or later.

“For the last couple weeks or so I’ve been suffering from serve headaches. Some get so bad that I end up having nose bleeds and passing out, hence why you found me out cold on the beach.”

Vic’s eyes glance from mine and then glance furiously at Oliver.

“This is your fault isn’t it?!” Vic yells at Oliver, pushing him harshly away from me.
“It isn’t like that Vic, Oliver and his family are trying to help me!” I yell in defence. I knew Vic only wanted to protect me but he was protecting me from the wrong person. Oliver would never hurt me.

“Stop defending them Josh, all they’re trying to do is to lure you in to their blood demon ways and given the right moment they will drink you dry and kill you!” He whips his head round at me and snaps.
“You’re wrong! You’ve got it all wrong Vic.” I shake my head in realization.

Vic knew Oliver was a vampire and he knew all the dangers which Oliver and his family powers are capable of. Vic had every right to be concern if it was any other vampire but Oliver was different, we had bonded but Vic didn’t know that. If my assumptions were correct I would say that Vic was just being an over protective friend and this made me feel a lot better about the situation. I could feel the little smile appear on my lips from the sweet thought, the old Vic was still in there.

I glance over at Oliver who was already staring back at me with unreadable expression on his face. I gave him a look which basically told him not to get mad at what I’m about to do and just trust me. I hope he buys it because this is the only thing I can think of which will change Vic’s mind without anyone having to fight.

“Vic... You’re acting like this because you want to keep me safe right?” I ask stepping as close to his body as I could. This startled him a little bit but he step in closer to me and placed his hands on my hips.

“More than anything-”
“Then please let me go with Oliver, his family can help me figure out what’s going on inside my head and make me better.”
“I’m not letting you go to a house full of deadly vampires!”
“Vic, you’re my best friend and it sucked not having you around for weeks when I needed you but please, as my best friend please let me go and get myself sorted. I need to know answers.” I say in a soothing voice, curling my finger around a lose curl of his which hung forward.

I glance up into his eyes and I could see the look of uncertainty on his face that he wasn’t sure about this. He wanted to give in to me but his animal instincts were telling him otherwise. His dark brown eyes burned down into mine and I flicker my eyes to his lips which were tugged between his teeth. The innocent move had gotten a little meaningful and personal and I only wish Oliver doesn’t hate me for this.

I could see Vic was debating whether to allow this or not. I knew he didn’t want to stand in the way of me getting better, he was probably thinking of another way to do this.

Vic might be a scary werewolf but he’s still my best friend and I can forgive him for everything if he let me go. It doesn’t have to be this way.

The look of defeat took over his face and it did make me feel guilty for putting him in this position. I was kind of using his feelings towards me to my advantage which was really shitty of me.

“Are you gonna let me go?” I whisper to him and I see him frown and snap his head up towards Oliver.
“I swear, if you or any of your demon family hurt him-“
“I assure you Vic he’s in safe hands.” Oliver snaps back and Vic makes a sound of disgust.

I step out of Vic’s hold slowly and start making my way back over to Oliver who look at me in disapproval about my actions. I felt incredibly guilty because I remember how upset Oliver got from the last time Vic and I got personal.

I look down at the ground feeling bad at about what I just did before feeling Oliver’s stiff cold arms wrap around my waist and pulling me firmly close to his body.

I take one last glimpse at Vic and give him a small smile as a thank you and then me and Oliver disappear from his sight.