Time Stood Still

Chapter 6: Last I Checked I Was A Fucking Wreck.

Josh's P.O.V

I haven’t said a single word to my mum since Saturday night, I locked myself away in my room all day Sunday and refused to come out, I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of my appearance. I refuse to talk to her, I didn’t want anything to do with her and I ignored all the petty times she knocked on my door trying to apologize, the woman can do one. She’s never hit me before...not ever and to be honest it kind of shook me and I don’t really know how to deal with it. I wasn’t sure if I should tell my dad or not, even if I was out of line and most probably deserved it but still, she had no right to hit me just because she couldn’t handle to hear the truth.

I’ve never felt so lonely in all my life, I literally feel like I have no one. All I had were these four fucking walls, I felt like a prisoner, locked away with nothing but the view of sea as my only escape... and I weren't even aloud to go in it!
No words can describe how much I miss my dad, I haven’t heard from him since he last called me, which was last week. It’s not like him at all, we would usually talk everyday but ever since I’ve moved away I feel like he feels I’m too much hassle for him and has given up on me...
He’s not the only one, I feel the same from my friends too, I haven’t heard anything from them, the only one who’s bothered to text me since I moved is Max. But that still really hurt, he’s my best friend and we used to talk and see each other everyday, we’re best friends and our dads are best friends too, so it was like we were brothers in a way, the four of us would literally do everything together and now, I feel like none of them even care or want to bother with me anymore. I feel completely worthless, like I did something wrong to deserve this abandonment, it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t want to leave, my mother dragged me here with her and now I’m stuck in the middle of no where without a friend in the world.

I can’t remember the last time someone asked me how I was. I feel pretty shit and pretty much hate everything and everyone right now, I had nothing good in my life and it didn’t feel like anything was going to get better anytime soon.

“Hey, I know something’s up, you haven’t said a single word since I’d picked you up this morning.” Vic asked, a slight sound of concern in his voice.
We just had our first lesson together and I literally just sat through the whole thing without saying a word, so of course he must of notice something was wrong.
“It’s nothing.” I mumbled back, trying to keep myself distracted by fiddling around in my locker.
“You can talk to me Josh.”
I said nothing, I really wasn’t in the mood for talking and I just continued to stare into my locker as if I didn’t hear him.
“Is it because your mum hit you?”
My eyes flew to Vic’s, a shot of panic flew through my body making me feel vulnerable knowing what he knew.
How the fuck does he know about that?
“H-how do you know that?” I stuttered, confronting him.
He bit his lip, now feeling uncomfortable about the subject.
“Erm... I kinda over heard my dad talking to your mum on the phone the other night...”
I sighed.
“Of course you did.”
I closed my locker door and slouched back against them hanging my head.
“Josh its okay.” Vic tried to sound reassuring.
Okay? No it’s not okay, it’s far from okay. I just fucking want the ground to swallow me up so I can disappear, I really don’t want to be here. I want to be as far away from my mum and everyone else as possible.
“I hate it here.” I chocked out, managing to hold back my tears. I’d do anything to have my old life back.
I kept my head down, ignoring the bell which rang for next lesson about five minutes ago.
“Right come on, we’re getting out of here.”
“What?” I turned to Vic.
“Fuck college, there’s no way I’m watching you be miserable all day, I’m gonna make you smile.”
I smiled lightly at him, I can’t blame him for trying.
“Quick, before we get caught.” He said before searching the corridors.
I couldn’t help but laugh, we looked like a pair of school girls giggling to each other as we both ran to Vic’s car hoping not to get caught skipping class.

Vic pulled up outside a small tacky looking beach house which I only assume was his house, I wasn’t really expecting him to take us back to his, I was a little nervous I must admit, I was still getting to know him and most of all I really didn’t want to bump into his dad.

“Isn’t your dad home?” I asked as Vic stepped out of his car.
“Nah, he’s at work, don’t worry we’ll be fine Josh.”
We approached the small beach house, but instead of going inside, he took me around the back to his garage, which wasn’t a garage at all, it looked like some sort of work shop.
There were big expensive looking machinery and tools all over the place, saw dust covered the entire floor which I was trying my best not to sneeze and there were surf boards which were placed on shelves along side one of the walls.

“Dunno if your mum told you, but we make surf boards for a living.”
I raise an eyebrow at him.
“You make actual surf boards?”
“Yep. Me, Mike and pops make, paint and sale surf boards.”
“That’s really cool.”
I didn’t even think that was an actual job, it seemed like a really cool job actually, they have a house on the beach where they build and sale surfboards, Mike is a life guard too I remember him mentioning, so they literally have the beach life, sounds great.

“I err... made you something Josh.” Vic handed me over one of the surf boards he pulled out of one of the shelves.
“Wait, what, you made this for me?” I was surprised; he actually made me a surf board... with his own bare hands, what the fuck!
“Yeah, I started it last week when you first moved here... I thought it would be nice to give you some sort of welcome present or something.”
I can’t believe he actually said that, he made it for me before we were even friends, who does that? Gosh, he’s like the nicest guy ever, I felt kind of bad saying I hated everything about this place... I take that back, I hate everything about this place but Vic. He was making everything better to be honest. I had the biggest smile on my face, it’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
“Well, now I’m not too sure its such a good present, seeing as you’re afraid of the water.”
I frowned at his words, watching him scratch the side of his face.
“I’m not afraid of the water... I was nervous about surfing that’s all...” I lied, I bit down on my bottom lip, I didn’t want him to know that I was scared of the water, that’s embarrassing.
“Right okay.” He replied.
“Thanks Vic, this is honestly the best present ever.” I sent him a genuine smile. I don’t think he realise how much this presents means to me, I kinda feel like he actually wants to get to know me and be my friend.

“And if you look at the bottom of the board I wrote “Hope” on it after our trip on Saturday.”
My fingers traced over the words which were painted onto the board.
I wasn’t exactly sure if he knew about the accident about me drowning when I younger or not or if he somehow just sense I was afraid of water. But he felt like I needed some hope, hope in never giving up or maybe hope I don’t drown… either way, I knew he meant well and I was just smiling from ear to ear.
“Now that’s the smile I was looking for.” He smiled back at me, and my heart literally skipped a beat.
I felt my cheeks burn red and the butterflies re appeared in my stomach. Oh please, not this stupid feeling again, I just want to be normal and be his friend, without feeling awkward about strangely liking him more than I should.
“I assume you’re hungry? Cos I’m bloody starving.” He said walking back towards his house and I followed quickly behind.

Vic suggested we watch a film, well the entire Wayne's World box set actually, because I admitted I hadn’t seen it and Vic was appalled and demanded I had to watch it. I agreed to set up the DVD in the living room while he made us lunch, he bragged about knowing a thing or two about cooking so I left he to it.
My eyes widen when he started placing a load of food down on the coffee table in front of the sofa, not only did he make a huge bowl of nachos, but he made us both sandwiches, which honestly looked like they were stuffed with everything he had in the kitchen cupboards, along side fizzy pop and two chocolate bars each!
“Jeez Vic!”
“Like I said, I hope you’re hungry.”
“You’ve made enough to feed about a hundred people.” I joked, as he took a seat next to me on the sofa.
“Let the feast begin!”

About half way through the film I decided to take a little sneak peek at Vic, he seemed to be far too interested in the film to notice I was staring at him. But I let my eyes run over his face, taking in all his features, he wore a backwards snapback hat which his long brown curly hair flowed out of, resting on top of his shoulders. He had the nicest tanned skin which complimented nicely with his dark brown puppy dog eyes which could easily make you melt with a glimpse. He had a nose ring in the right side of his nose which I thought he pulled off really well. He laughed at something which happened in the film which revealed his attractive smile, I notice that he had one tooth which was smaller than all the rest of his teeth which I thought were just adorable, I couldn’t help but find him attractive. Even the sound of his laughter was drawing me closer to him, I never thought I’d find myself ever liking a guy, well beside from having a big crush on Oliver Sykes whose face looked like it been curved by angels and making him look like some sort of Goddess and too good to be true. But Vic, he just seemed real… well of course he’s real but I mean, he just looked so normal and handsome and just a general nice guy.
He suddenly turned and looked at me laughing, obviously wondering why I wasn’t laughing at the film as well, our eyes met and I instantly looked away feeling my cheeks burn red. Fuck, he caught me staring at him!
“You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t bring up why I was staring at him.
He moved closer to me, I wasn’t too sure if it was because we were sharing the nachos which he had in his lap or if he just wanted to be close to me. But whatever reason, my heart was racing and I felt really nervous, dammit can this stupid boy crush feeling just leave me alone, I just want to enjoy myself with my friend without feeling awkward.

The last film was finally over and Mike and their dad still weren't home yet, which I only assume were at work, which was fine with me because I enjoyed my time be alone with Vic. I felt like hes become a really close friend over the short amount of time of knowing each other.
It was starting to get dark and Vic kindly drove me home and hoped that I'd feel better, which in all honestly, I really did after spending the day with him, we should definitely do this more.
As I walked through the door I notice my mum was already waiting for me, I saw her eye up my surf board as I placed it against the wall by the door, still not giving her the satisfaction of my voice.
I turned on my heel, avoiding to have to talk to her.

“Josh honey, I hope your hungry, I made you your favourite.”
I completely ignored her, sending her a glare before I headed straights for the stairs to go up to my room.
“Josh!”
“I’m not hungry!” I shouted out to her. How could I be, Vic had fed me enough for the rest of the week!
“Josh please.” She begged, as she grabbed my jeans through the banisters of the stairs, making me stop half way.
I let out a frustrated sigh, why won’t she just get the hint that I just want to be left alone!
“Please Josh, I’m really trying.”
I kept quiet.
“Please?” she begged yet again.
I let out another sigh and turned to walk back down the stairs.
Why I gave into her I don’t know, if sitting at the dinner table for twenty minutes with her will mean she will leave me alone then I just have to bite my tongue and do it.

I still refused to say a single word to her, I sat at the table twirling the spaghetti around my folk over and over, zoning out at my mothers nonsense babbling of an apology. I had two bites and that was all I could stomach after Vic’s big feast earlier, mum really thought by making my favourite meal was going to make up for what she did, well she had another thing coming.

“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart? It’s your favourite, you always eat it up.”
“I told you I wasn’t hungry.”
“Okay, well I have some chocolate ice cream in the freezer, I know that’s your favourite.”
I couldn’t handle anymore of my mothers ridiculous fussing over me and her stupid game of playing happy families to cover up what happened the other night wasn’t working. I snapped and lashed out.
“Can you please just stop!” I shouted, making my mother flinch.
“Josh I was only offeri…”
“No, just stop this stupid act alright! I’m not buying it so just stop! You think you can just pretend nothing happened and sugar coat everything by making my favourite stuff!”
“J-Josh, I really am sorry for what I did, I’m trying to make it up to you, please honey, calm down.”
Her telling me to calm down only made me more angry.
“Nothing you do will make up for what you did! The only thing you can do is send me back home to dad!”
“Well that’s not gonna happen!” she snapped back.
“Why not?! Why do you want me here with you? We have no relationship, so why are you trying to fucking make me into some mummy’s boy when you know full well that’s not gonna happen!”
“Joshua stop!”
I was absolutely fuming by this point, my temper never been this bad before and I couldn’t seem to stop myself or calm down.
I ended up knocking my dinner off the table in rage, which made my mother jump back and squeal in fear.
“No! Just send me back home to dad, please! Please just let me go back to him!”
I could feel the anger building in my eyes, my vision slightly becoming blurred by tears but I refuse to let them fall.

I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t let me go back to live with my dad, there was no relationship between us at all, especially now. The only explanation I could find was she was just keeping me here as punishment, she knew how much I wanted to go back to dad but yet it was like she refuse to let me go, she was being a cruel evil bitch, she was always jealous of mine and dads relationship and she obviously was enjoying my suffering without him.

“No wonder dad fucking left you, you’re a fucking witch! I hate you!”
“Joshua you watch your mouth!”
“Or what? You gonna slap me again?!”
There was a sudden sharp pain across my face as she slapped me. It happened all too fast I didn’t have time to even dodge it; my hand flew to my cheek as the after pain stung through my entire face.
The kitchen was filled with nothing but silences.
I slowly took my hand away from my cheek; looking down at the little drops of blood which coated the tops of my finger tips.
I glared back at my mother as I felt nothing but pain and anger rush to my head, allowing my temper get the better of me yet again.
“That will be the last time you hit me.” I gritted through my teeth, hearing a gasps escaped from her lips as tears began to fall from her eyes as I stepped towards her.

Lucky for her there was a sudden loud knock at the door, which distracted me from what I was about to do. My eyes didn’t leave my mothers emotional terrified state, I was debating what to do with myself at that moment.
The knock at the door was loud and continuous, and it only angered me more, I pushed past my mother to answer it and letting whoever was behind the door be my next victim of my anger.

“What do you want?” I asked harshly swinging open the door, not taking much notice to who was standing there.
I was met with his black wide eyes which seemed to be frantically searching every part of my face and stopped to focus on the fresh new cut on my cheek.
And then I realised the stranger was Oliver Sykes, the bitterness fell from my face and was now being replaced with hurt and sadness, allowing my eyes fill with tears.
His eyes never left my face.

Fuck Oliver this really isn’t a good time. But suddenly my feelings all changed, they changed into a cry for help.
I needed him to help me, I needed him to realise how much I needed him and understand what I was going through without him having to question me.
For some bizarre reason I had a feeling that I could trust him, even though I hardly know him, I felt I could rely on him to take me away and help me.
I looked into his eyes, begging him to read me.
“Please… take me away from here.” I whispered.
And without another word, he took my hand and pulled me over to his car ignoring my distress mother calling out for me. He drove off into the dead of night, I was too distracted to even bother asking him where we were going, I just wanted to be as far away from that house as possible and Oliver seemed to have sense that. I was trying so hard to hold back my tears, but I was shaking, I was just so overwhelm by the argument and being hit again, I honestly wouldn’t know what I would have done if Oliver didn’t knock on the door when he did. As soon as the first tear fell from my eyes, the others just kept falling, I covered my face with my hands, feeling embarrassed to cry in front of Oliver.
He kept silent; I guess he felt pretty awkward having to deal with the new kid crying in his car.
I didn’t notice how long we were driving for but I felt the car come to a stop, I gradually pulled my hands away from my face and sniffed back my tears as I tried to make out where we were.

“Let me see your face Josh.” Oliver sounded more than concerned.
“It’s nothing.” I sniffed.
“Let me be the judge of that.”
His gloved hands cradle my face, he lent my head slightly to the side so he could get a better look in the light to inspect my cut, tears were still falling from my eyes. Man, I must look like a big baby to him, he probably thinks I’m a right loser.
“Put some antiseptic cream on it when you get home and it should be fine.”
“Okay Dr Sykes.” I joked, trying to lighten up the mood.
He smirked at my comment.
“That’s my Father.”
“What, really?”
He nodded in agreement, those explains his concern to inspect my face.
But wow, no wonder he was such a know it all, his dad is a doctor for crying out loud and of course this only meant his children should be amazingly clever and most likely want to follow in his footsteps.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked, making the car fill with awkward silence.
I hung my head, feeling uncomfortable and the sudden urge of tears rushed to my eyes. Oh god please, I don’t want to start crying again.
Was I about to tell him about my mother? Would he understand? Probably not, he seemed like he had a perfect family, a beautiful loving sister, a dad who’s a doctor, what would he know about living in a broken family?
What would he do if I told him anyway? I can’t imagine him to be all sympathetic or would he tell someone? Well, I’m 17 and being slapped across the face by a parent because of my attitude isn’t exactly child abuse… even though it felt like it.
But what was the point in lying? Its even worse having to cover up the truth and having the fear of slipping up.
“You can tell me Josh.” He sounded promising.
“My…my mum…” I chocked through my tears, trying my best to pull myself together and just get the words out of my mouth.
“S-she hit me…”
I saw his hands curl into fists, but he remained silent.
“Twice now.” I sniffed.
“And the scariest part of it all, I didn’t know what I would have done if you didn’t show up Oliver.” I sobbed back into my hands, feeling ashamed I just admitted that.
My temper is awful, I turn into a horrible person and I can never control my actions if things go too far, i was a fucking wreck!

He didn’t react like I expected him to react, the opposite actually.
He placed a cool hand on my shoulder.
“It’s perfectly understandable to be angry Josh.”
“Angry?” I laughed, Oliver looked confused at my reaction, and he looked abit hurt actually.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh…its just… angry is abit of an understatement.”
“Its okay, I know I don’t understand how you’re feeling or even thinking. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care, I want to be able to help you. Whenever you need it, I’ll be here Josh.”
Wow I wasn’t expecting that at all. I didn’t think he liked me enough to even care like that about me…
He comes across so quiet and keeps himself to himself, I’m not sure if it’s down to shyness or him being ignorant. But either way, he cares and I guess that’s something.
“W-where are we?” I stuttered slightly, changing the subject as I stared out the front car window, taking in our surroundings.
It was far too dark for me to see much at all, I notice we were parked on an edge of a cliff and right in front of us were a big glowing light house.
“I sometimes come here to collect my thoughts.”
“You go inside the light house?”
He nodded.
“That’s actually really cool. Can we go inside?”
“If you like.”

The second I stepped outside the car I was hit with a massive gust of wind, it would have knocked me over but I was saved by Oliver, who somehow managed to get to me so fast. You never know if this boy is coming or going.
I wrapped my arms around myself; I was only wearing a t-shirt and it was fucking freezing standing on this cliff!
“Josh, your freezing.” His gloved hands rested on my arms and I shivered more.
“I-I’m f-fine.” I stuttered, but Oliver handed me his jacket which only left him in a long sleeved top.
“Won’t you be cold?”
“Unlike you, I’m used to the weather here.”
I smiled and put my arms through his jacket, instantly feeling a lot warmer than before.

When we finally got to the top of the light house, the whole room was lit up by the light circling the building, you could see the sea for miles when the light shone on the current and when it wasn’t the moon light above brighten up the darkness. It was truly beautiful, it took my breath away and for a moment, I forgotten everything what happened earlier...
“You like the view?” Oliver's soft voice rang through my ears, breaking me away from my thoughts.
“Its beautiful.”
I pulled up the collar of Oliver’s jacket and lent my head against his cold arm.
Who have known someone like Oliver could be so thoughtful and charming, he obviously did his best to cover it up but I could see right through it.
I didn't know how to thank him for taking me away from that dreadful situation and even though he probably felt like he did nothing, I will always remember this. There was no where else I would rather be right now than to be up here with him...
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For this.” I smiled, looking up at him and I was met with the most beautiful breath taking smile in return and I just melted.