Time Stood Still

Chapter 7: You Can Be The Smile I Don't Want.

Josh's P.O.V

The loud continuous sound of my alarm filled the silence of my room, waking me up from the little sleep I had received. I groaned into my pillow, refusing to move from my place and lazily searching for my phone with my hand knocking several things over on the floor by my mattress. When I finally found my phone and after instantly turning off my alarm, I twisted my head and squinted my eyes to look at the time, it was 7:45am. Ugh, there is no way I’m bothering with college today, fuck college, fuck mum and fuck my life, I felt like shit and really couldn’t give a shit about anything today, I just wanted to be left alone and sulk in bed for the rest of the day.
As I rolled back onto my stomach to go back to sleep, I realised I’d better text Vic not to bother picking me up this morning, I wasn’t in the mood to be at college pretending my life was great when it really wasn’t and even though I knew Vic was the only good thing I had in my life right now, I couldn’t bare to face him.

I sighed heavily into my pillow, morning is my worse enemy and I wasn’t happy being greeted with it at this hour, but as my body felt more awake my mind decided to remind me of the events which happened last night and the most important event, spending most of the night with Oliver.
I guess in some way, he came to my rescue and took me away from a horrible situation and some how manage to turn it into something wonderful.

It was nice.
It was more than nice, just thinking about it is making me smile from ear to ear, not much even happen, but being alone with Oliver up in that light house was like a dream, we spoke a little, not too much, the view of the sea in the nightlight was enough to satisfy us both. I was still finding it really hard to understand him, he was just so hard to read, like I thought before, I’m not sure the way he acts is out of ignorance or shyness
But last night was like I saw a complete different side to him. He was kind and gentle with me and he seemed generally concerned about me, he actually admitted that he will always be here if I ever needed to talk… which is nice to know… there’s not many I can talk to and that meant a lot, especially coming from him.

We stayed in the light house till early hours of the morning, I fell asleep a couple of times on Oliver’s shoulder which was embarrassing but he didn’t seem to mind. I wanted to make sure by the time I return back home, mum would be fast asleep and I could simply come back without causing another argument between us. Oliver seemed reluctant at first, and as much as I wanted to stay in the light house with him, I was exhausted and eventually I had to go back home.

I was rudely interrupted from my thoughts with a loud knock on the front door, I groaned and pulled my pillow over my head, too exhausted to even get out of bed but the second knock were louder than the first. So I kicked off the covers, pulled on some sweatpants and force myself downstairs to answer the god damn door and give who ever was there a piece of my grumpy morning mind.

“Delivery for Mr J Franceschi.”
“Er… yeah that’s me.” I blinked several times, trying to adjust to the morning light and pay attention to the man standing in front of me holding out a clipboard.
“Sign here please.”
I stood in the doorway scratching my head a little confused, I hadn’t ordered anything, to be honest, I don’t even know my full address yet, so I definitely didn’t.
But here I am signing away on a piece a paper for a something I’ve obviously ordered from a company called “Sleep Tight” and that’s when I realised.
Oh. Mum obviously bought me a new bed in hopes to win me over; did she really think I’ll give into this? Well, I can’t complain, it is a double bed after all and now I don’t have to continue to sleep on a single mattress on the floor anymore.
I stepped aside and let the delivery men in and left them to set up my new bed upstairs while I dragged my feet into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

I noticed there were several pots of pale blue paint laid out on the kitchen table with a note beside them. I couldn’t help but let my curiosity get the better of me and I picked up the note.

“Maybe we could decorate your room tonight sweetie x”

I frowned and dropped the note to the floor and began making myself a cup of tea, this woman honestly didn’t know when to give up, I knew what she was up to, she thought decorating my room would give us some “bonding” time and hopefully forget what’s happened the last few days, well that’s not gonna happen. She can continue to buy me whatever she wants, its not going to win me over, she knows what I want and until she gives it to me I will refuse to have a relationship with her.

Once the delivery men left, I made my way back upstairs to my room with my tea, my plan for the day was to dive into my new double bed and just play xbox all day.
When I reached my bedroom door, my eyes flew straight to a photograph which was stuck to it, I obviously walked straight past it earlier but as I studied the image of the photo longer, I got some sort of warm feeling inside my stomach, and felt a small smile spread across my lips. It was a photo of two children sitting on the beach building sandcastles together, I frowned as I tried to remember the memory but nothing of this event entered my mind. I pulled the photo off the door and flicked it to the back to see if there were anything to refresh my memory from when this was taken and there in faded hand writing was written “Josh and Victor - 2001”

A new note was written in the corner of the photo, which infuriate me even more.

“I hope this photo makes me you smile sweetie”

Wow, now that’s a new low mum.
She’s now using Vic against me, she’s obviously notice how close we’ve become and she thought by giving me photographs of me and Vic from when we were younger will have me come running asking a load of questions and hopefully forget what she did to me and help fix our relationship.
Does she really think I’m that stupid? Come on mum, you should really know better than to pull a stunt like that. I will make sure she won’t be pulling anything like this again; she needs to leave Vic out of this.

I shook my head at the petty attempt she made and walked back into my room.
This photo was taken in 2001, which means I was five when this photo was taken.
I placed my tea of my bedside table and sat on the edge of my bed, staring hopelessly down at the photograph in my hands.
Why couldn’t I remember anything from my childhood from when I was five? It’s weird.
I can remember quite a lot from six and onwards but nothing below five… nothing at all.
Nothing about living in Cornwall, this house, mum or dad, knowing Vic, nothing. It’s just a big blank in my mind.
Surely that’s not right… yeah, five is a young age to remember stuff but at least maybe remember one or two things? But I really can’t remember anything at all about my life at that age.
I was wrecking my brain maybe abit too much over this photo, I mean, it’s just a photo… a photo of me and someone I see maybe more as a friend to me. A memory I wished I could remember.
I let out a sigh and slumped myself back on my new bed and let a loud moan escape my lips. Man, this was a good fucking bed!
I was spread out like a starfish, there was so much room and space to move about in, I must admit, the stupid woman did good, but that’s another thing I will purposely not tell her. I lent over to my bedside table and rest the photograph of me and Vic against my lamp. I smiled lightly, even though I can’t remember this memory, the image of the photo was enough, Vic had the cutest little smile on his face as he watched me concentrate building a sandcastle. A chuckle escaped me, it’s so weird to think we grew up together back then and years later become close friends again.

There was another knock at the door.
“Of for crying out loud, not again.”
Something told me I wasn’t going back to bed like I planned any time soon.

When I opened the door this time, I was shocked yet, happy to see the familiar long haired boy I’ve grown so fond of, standing on the doorstep holding up a bag of doughnuts with that cute smile I loved.
“What are you doing here?”
“You sounded sad in your text, so I wanted to come cheer you up again.”
I nervously scratch the side of my head and smiled a little, which soon disappeared as I saw his expression change and ask me the unexpected.
“What happened to your face?”
My hand flew to my cheek and I winced at the pain my fingers tips left as I traced over the cut I had forgotten my mother gave me, there was slight bruising around the cut now but nothing too serious.
“N-nothing… I stupidly walked into my surf board last night when I got up to get a drink.” I panicked, and that was the first lame excuse that came to my head to cover up what really happened last night.
“You clumsy fool, I guess I should have made you a surf board out of foam or something.” He joked; I laughed lightly and decided to change the subject, which wasn’t completely focused on me.
“You really shouldn’t have skipped college again Vic, Your dad gonna think I’m a bad influence or something.”
He laughed.
“Yeah right, I’m older than you so it makes me the bad influence and I’ve skipped college many times before and my dad never found out, so chill Josh.”
I didn’t say anything, just smiled in response.
“Are you gonna invite me in and help me eat these doughnuts or not?” he smiles slightly and I grin, stepping aside to let him in, with a smile like that how could I say no?

I led Vic up to my room and filled him in on the ridiculous presents I have received this morning from my mother, I skipped the details of last night and just let him think this was from the first incident between me and my mum which he already knew about.
“She bought you paint to decorate your room and bought you a new bed? Sounds like someone’s got a guilty conscience.”
“I know right.”
“Man, I wished my dad would buy me and Mike stuff like this whenever we fall out.”
“Trust me, you don’t, its so annoying.”
Vic seemed to have a really close bond between his dad and his little brother and doesn’t come across the family who argue that much, me and my family on the other hand, all hated each other right now.

Vic’s eyes flickered around my room as he took in his surroundings, my house was ten times bigger than his and you could see the amazement on his face how everything looked like gold to him, I felt kinda guilty how I took it for granted, Vic and his family lived in a tiny house, my room alone is bigger than his living room and kitchen put together. I saw him reached out to the photo of us placed on my bedside table.
“I have a photo very similar to this on my bedroom wall.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I let you use my bucket and spade to build that sand castle I hope you know.” He confirmed, smiling at me.
“You remember this?”
“Uh huh, I think we built about a hundred sand castles that day before you dro-” he stopped mid sentence, causing me to look at him, wanting to know what he was going to say.
“Before I what?”
He hesitated before answering me, he looked nervous to speak, which was odd, I’ve never seen him act like this.
“It was the same day you drowned…”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t realise he knew about my accident in the water all those years ago, but of course his dad must have told him all about it… I guess that explains why he wrote “Hope” on my surf board.
“You know about that?” I said, innocently and embarrassed.
“I kind of remember…”
“What happened?” I ask, hoping to find answers which my mind couldn’t give me.
“Don’t you remember?”
I shook my head as I lost myself in thought, staring down at the photo he held in his hands.
“No.” I whispered.
“Erm, well I don’t remember much, but dad said we through a bbq on the beach because it was the day you were moving to London. Everything was fine, I’m pretty sure you were with me the whole time, but suddenly you wasn’t… and err… the next thing I remember is that we found you washed up on the beach.”

He bit his lip and slanted his head to the side, feeling kinda awkward to finish that sentence.
He seems to know more about my drowning incident than I do…
“I don’t remember anything…” I answered truthfully, I don’t understand why I can’t remember this at all.
“I don’t think anyone really knows how you ended up in the water.”
We stood in awkward silence for a few moments, neither one of us knowing what to say next. I was so confused about what happened to me all those years ago, mum and dad never really told me in detail what happened, they just said I drowned and both feared me ever going in water again, which obviously rubbed off on me and now I get stupidly nervous whenever I’m near deep water. Great, thanks for that guys, and to makes matters worse I now live on the exact same beach I drown on!
The thought of it made me feel slightly sick, this wasn’t exactly how I planned skipping college. Vic must of sense that this subject got to me and place his hand on my shoulder for comfort and smiled gently.
“Hey, I got an idea, how about we paint your room ourselves. It will save you from an awkward evening with your mum if we beat her to it.”
“That’s actually a great idea.” I smiled, thanking him.
I quickly ran downstairs to grab the paint, so me and Vic could start on my room, as it seriously needed to be decorated, this room kind of gave me the creeps and it was in desperate need of a make over, I wasn’t exactly sure how long its been since someone lived in this room before I move back in here.

When it got to around lunch time, we only just finished painting one wall, I didn’t realise it would take so long, I was getting bored and frustrated and I think Vic picked up on that.
He thought it was funny to start painting penises on the wall, a typical immature teenage boy stunt to do.
I couldn't help but burst out in fits of laughter.

“What the fuck, yeah my mum is really gonna love that Vic.”
“Fuck what your mum thinks, it’s your room, if you want penises on your wall then you can have penises on your wall.”
“What makes you think I want penises painted on my wall?!” I said still in fits of laughter.
He just shrugged and joined in laughing with me.

He face the wall again and started painting something that look like a stick man surfing, I chuckled to myself, I’m so glad he decided to skip college and hang out with me again, I would have just spent the day being miserable and whenever I was with Vic I was always the opposite.
“Hey Josh, I’m running out of paint, think you better open another pot.”
“Sure.”
Vic was too busy concentrating painting his stupid stick surfer man to even look away from the wall as he spoke. As I begin opening a new pot of paint, I quietly make me way up behind him and dip my paint brush into the pot.

“Hey Vic.” I smirked.
“What?” he says, turning round and I pat my paintbrush on the end of his nose, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the big blob of blue paint hanging from his nose, his face was priceless!
I let out a squeal as I tried to run away from him but he grabbed hold of my arm and dabbed his paint brush into the fresh pot of paint before dabbing it across my cheek.
It soon turned into some sort of paint war, we were covered in paint from head to toe and ended up wrestling on my bedroom floor, I was laughing so much my ribs hurt and that’s when he was able to have the upper hand on me and climb on top of me, pinning my hands above my head.
I felt the butterflies flutter majorly in my stomach but he didn’t give me enough time to even react to them.
“You give up yet Franceschi?” he laughed, running the paint brush down the left side of my whole face and I let out another squeal at the cold wet liquid which settles on my face. I swear if I wasn’t covered in paint he would have seen how red my cheeks had flushed.
“No!” I screamed squirming around from underneath him, man this was so hot, I don’t know why I was trying to get away from him, I was actually really enjoying being straddle and pin to ground by him…
Vic moved his face close to mine, our noses were almost touching, I felt my heart begin to pick up its paste and race like crazy, I just continue to stare up at him, he’s smile making me melt inside.
Fuck it, maybe I should just give into liking Vic and just let whatever happens happen, if he wanted to kiss me, maybe I should just let him.
And that’s when I watched Vic close his eyes and slowly move in towards me.
Holy shit, this was it, he was actually going to kiss me, I bit my lip and tried to fight back my nerves and just let my body relax. After a few seconds, I did what felt right and closed my eyes and waited for Vic’s lips to connect with mine.
But they never did.

“What’s going on?”
The stern voice was enough for both of us to immediately open our eyes and break away from what was about to happen and shoot our heads towards my bedroom door.
Oliver stood in the doorway of my bedroom and just stares at the position me and Vic were in, the look in his pure black eyes scared me a little, he looked so angry.

“O-Oliver… w-what are you doing here?” I stuttered, biting my lip and looking back and forth to him and the ground.
Vic finally let go of my hands so they were now free but he remained sat on top of me, not feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable that Oliver had caught us like this.
After what felt like an entirety of Oliver’s eyes burning into me, he finally spoke up.
“You skipped college again today and I wanted to see if you were alright.”
“So you thought you’d just break into his house?” Vic commented harshly.
“The back door was opened.”
Oliver’s eyes didn’t even look at Vic as he spoke, they were fixed on me and only me and I couldn’t help but feel incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed.
“After what happened last night I was worried when you didn’t turn up for class.”
He was worried about me? So he really meant what he said last night, when he said he cared for me…
I saw Vic frown as he looked down at me, his expression confused.
“Why? What happened last night?”
“Erm…” I bit my bottom lip, refusing to look up at him.
How was I going to explain this to him? There was no way I was going to tell him that I spent most of the night with Oliver, in some secret place alone in a light house… I knew he’d have something negative to say about that, but now I feel I have no choice but to tell him about mum hitting me again last night. Great, thanks a lot Oliver, I really didn’t want to tell him.
“Josh?”
“She… She hit me again.” I mumbled, wriggling out from underneath him and leaning my back against the wall under the window ledge, hugging my knees to my chest.
I couldn’t bare to look at him, I knew he’d be upset.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Vic says, annoyed and hurt lingering in his tone.
I just shrugged, not knowing what to say to him.
“Is that how you really got the cut on your face?”
I nodded slowly.
“Josh I told you could speak to me.”
“I…I know… but we were having fun and I didn’t want to ruin it with bringing it all up.” I just hung my head, feeling guilty not telling Vic the truth when he first asked but I just didn’t want to keep dwelling on this. And it was pretty uncomfortable when Oliver was watching us as well.

Vic crawled over to my side and lifted my chin up with his fingers so I was looking at him.
His eyes fluttered to the cut on my cheek examining the damage, just like Oliver did last night. Vic lightly brushed his thumb over the healing scab, not to hurt me of course, but just to reassure me. I couldn’t help but wince at his touch though, the cut was fucking sore.

“Get your hands off him!” Oliver growled, breaking the moment of silence. It made me jump slightly; I’ve never heard him raise his voice before.
Vic snapped his head back at him, coming back with a mouth full of attitude.
“Since when do give orders to who I can and can’t touch Sykes?!”
“Can’t you see it hurts him? He doesn’t need you rubbing your hands all over him!”
“You jealous Sykes?” Vic teased.
I couldn’t help but look over at Oliver as Vic said that, he seemed thrown back by Vic’s comment, his eyes all wide eyed and the look of discomfort filled his beautiful pale face. I couldn’t help but think of the moment we spent together last night, and how he kind of showed me a different side to him… was he jealous of Vic touching me? Does he fancy me? No way, how could anyone as beautiful and perfect as him like anyone as sad and pathetic as me? He’s way out of my league, but I couldn’t help but have this stupid crush on him, and last night made me realise how much I really liked him.
It’s just a shame I know he’ll never feel the same.

“Whatever, I shouldn’t have bothered coming here.” He muttered and turned to walk out the door.
“No, don’t go.” I said, standing up and walking over to Oliver, placing my hand in his. I flinched as I was met with that same familiar coldness of his skin, he notice and pulled out of my hand instantly.
“Why did you come here?” I ask, smiling lightly up at him, trying to act like I didn’t notice his cold structure.
“I actually came to give you back your essay.”
He reached into his back pocket and handed me over a piece of paper.
“Did you look?”
“No.”
I started to unfold the piece of paper, a little nervous to reveal my new grade I worked so hard on… it was even more nerve racking to look at it in front of Oliver, I just hope it wasn’t as bad as the last grade.
I felt a smile appear on my lips as I saw the red circle B- written at the top of my paper.
“I got a B-!” I said a little over enthusiastic, my eyes meeting with Oliver’s. I never thought I would get a decent grade in English, especially in Shakespeare oh my god!
“I told you not to give up, didn’t I?”
“If it wasn’t for your help Oliver there’s no way I could have got this.”
“I didn’t do anything, I just guided you in the right direction. You’re very intelligent when you put your mind to it Josh.”
Our eyes met, our smiles mirroring each others, it was great to know he was proud of my achievement and I was too.
“Oh please.” Vic commented, hoping to make a joke of the moment but me and Oliver ignored him.
I handed Oliver a spare paint brush.

“Hannah tells me you also take art at college, how are your painting skills?”
He smiled a little before taking the brush from my hand.
“Well I’m not into the whole body paint or painting body parts on the wall like you two.” He glance a look between me and Vic and then at the wall, clearly making a point of our immature moment because we were still covered in paint from our little paint fight earlier.
I let out a little laugh, I felt so embarrassed but Vic didn’t seem impressed.
“But I guess painting walls shouldn’t be too bad.”
“You’re seriously asking him to stay Josh?” Vic blurted out, obviously not happy with the situation.
“Problem Fuentes? Oliver tease, Vic was about to comment back and I knew it wasn’t going to end well. So I stepped in between them holding my hands up, stopping them before there death stares turn physical.

“Okay, I’ve notice for some reason you both have a problem with each other, which I don’t quiet really understand why… but whatever, I don’t care right now. It’s just your both the only ones who actually gone out of their way to want to be my friend and that means a lot to me, so thank you. And I’m not into the whole choosing sides and all that crap, so today can you please just get along with each other for my sake? It would be really nice to hang out with both of you without having to prevent you from ripping each others heads off all the time.”

They both stood there glaring at each other, obviously hating the idea but both of them had to pack it in. Another time I’ll ask what the problem between them was but right now it didn’t seem like an appropriate time to ask, so I let it go.

“Please?” I fluttered my eyes at Oliver, when neither of them answered.
“Fine.” Oliver said.
I turn to Vic who had his arms crossed to his chest and a sour pout across his face.
“Please Vic?” I asked fluttering my eyes at him the same I did to Oliver, hoping it would work on him too.
“Fine okay! But promise me you’ll tell me too if she ever hits you again Josh.”
That kinda took me off guard, I wasn’t planning on getting hit by her again and Oliver knew that… he knew I wanted to hit her back, but Vic didn’t know that. He didn’t know the how bad my temper could get and I didn’t really want him to find out what I was capable of when I got angry to be honest.
I didn’t want to be on this subject any longer so I just nodded and agreed to tell him IF it ever happened again.
“Okay.” I manage to choke out and he dropped his arms from his chest and pick up his paint brush again.

I let out a sigh.
Thank god i've finally got them to get along for the time being, i wonder how long this will last though...
Oh well, I might as well enjoy it while it last because I have a feeling this won't last forever.
I dipped my paint brush in the pot of paint and sneakily glance over at Oliver and smiled, but i found him smiling back at me too. My cheeks burned and my eyes quickly turned away from him and back to wall, where the endless smiles and butterflies refuse to leave my body.