My Name Is Kyle

The next day at school, at lunch I sit with Hadley, Maria, and Lee and I drop the bomb.
“I’m dating Thurston Rapp!”
“I’m so happy for you!” Lee squeals, wrapping me in a hug. Hadley claps, but Maria just makes a face and asks,
“Thurston’s gay?”
“Yeah, dummy, he came out in like sixth grade,” Hadley reminds.
“Oh, and he invited us all over to his house on Friday to swim in his pool!” I inform.
Maria finally smiles, Hadley claps again, and Lee just squeals louder.
“Hey, Kyle? I have a question,” Maria begins.
“Shoot,” I allow.
“You’re… you’re technically a girl, right? So what are you gonna wear for a swim suit?” Maria questions.
I shrug. “I usually just wear swim trunks with a bikini top since by law I have to keep my tits covered .”
Maria nods, answering, “That makes sense.”
“Are you excited to see Thurston shirtless?” Hadley asks.
I redden, and Lee punches Hadley in the arm, barking,
“Don’t ask things like that!”
Maria laughs, and questions, “So just us and Thurston?”
I shake my head. “No. Some kid named Bo and another named Naioki will be there.”
“Ooh, Bo’s hot. I got dibs on Bo!” Lee calls, sticking her hand in the air.
“No fair!” Hadley whines.
“Don’t worry; Maria likes Tucker,” Lee informs.
“Hey!” Maria snaps.
“So…” Lee continues, ignoring her other friend. “You can have Naioki.”
Lee scrunches up her face. “I don’t really think Asian people are attractive.”
Maria scowls and scolds, “Dude, that’s totally racist.”
“What? No it isn’t! It’s just a preference thing! I can’t help it!” Hadley defends.
“Do you know who else said that? Marie Antoinette !” I joke.
“I hate you guys,” Hadley groans.
I stand, brushing my hands off on my slacks as I tell, “So I’m going to go meet Thurston.”
“Where is he?” Maria asks.
“He’s outside,” I answer.
“Outside? Doing what?” Hadley wonders.
I shrug as I lie, “Just hanging out.”
“Wait!” Lee calls as I walk away.
“What is it?” I question.
“Do me a favor. Ask Thurston if Bo is dating anyone,” Lee orders.
I salute her with two of my fingers, replying, “Will do.”
I head out to the back lot, quickly finding Thurston sitting criss cross applesauce by the dumpster and smoking, as usual .
“Hey Kyle Kyle Bo Byle,” he greets.
“What are you, high?” I smirk as I sit next to him.
He shakes his head. “Not even a little bit.”
“So… my friends are on for the pool party,” I share.
Thurston takes another hit. “That’s nice. Are you excited?” I nod so hard my head actually hurts a little. “Oh, by the way, your friend Bo?”
“What about the kid?” Thurston asks.
“Is he single?”
“God, Kyle, you leaving me already?” Thurston kids.
“No, I’m actually asking for a friend,” I explain.
“Yeah, he is. Which friend is it?” Thurston questions.
“Oh, I can’t tell,” I answer.
“Is it Lee?” Thurston smirks.
“How do you know?” I demand.
“She and Bo have loved each other since kindergarten. They’re crazy about each other, but they sure don’t act like it. I think its cause they try to hide it,” he replies, blowing smoke rings .
I cough and fan some of the smoke away from my face. Thurston notices and immediately puts out his almost full cigarette, smashing the tip into the ground.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I insist.
Thurston stands and straightens his tie, responding, “It was my pleasure.” He turns and begins to walk away when I remember what I really wanted to ask him and call,
“Hey, Thurston!”
He faces me. “Yeah?”
I walk up to him, and take his hands in mine. I turn his over so his palms are upward and stroke the center with one of my thumbs. I’m reluctant at first, but decide to finally ask as softly as I can,
“What happened to your parents?”
Thurston tears his arms away and storms off in an angry huff.
“W-wait!” I plead. I make a frustrated noise as I stomp off towards the cafeteria.
I make it back to the lunch room before the bell rings, and I ask Lee right away,
“What happened to Thurston’s parents?”
Maria looks uncomfortable. She fidgets in her seat and loosens her tie. Hadley pretends to inspect her nails, and Lee becomes suddenly infatuated with the tabletop.
“Lee?”
“They… um…” Lee finally meets my gaze. “They- they died in a car accident, when Thurston was only four or three.”
“Thurston was the only survivor,” Hadley adds, her eyes still glued to her fingernails.
“Oh,” I reply quietly .
“W-well, it’s okay; he has a good family,” Maria claims, mostly saying it to herself.
“Does he have any brothers or sisters ?” I question.
Lee shakes her head. “Not any biological ones, anyways.”
I nod, taking it all in. “I definelty have to talk with him.”
Once the final bell rings, I hurry to Thurston’s locker, as I’m pretty sure he won’t be sprinting towards mine.
“Hey,” I say gently.
Thurston turns, a frown plastered onto his face. He growls, “What?”
I hold out my hand for him as I suggest, “Can we talk? Somewhere more private?”
Thurston hesitates, eyeing my hand warily, before taking it. “Is my house okay?”
“Yeah,” I agree. We walk there the entire way silently.
Once we get to his house, we go up towards his room. On the way there, we run into his sister, Mya .
“Hey Thurston. Who’s your friend, he’s cute!”
I blush, and she winks at me and waves.
“This is my boyfriend, Kyle,” Thurston responds coldly.
“Yeah right, faggot,” Mya scoffs. She pushes past Thurston, thumping him on the head as she passes.
“She’s scary,” I whisper once I’m sure she’s out of ear’s reach.
Thurston shrugs and continues up the steps. “Eh, she’s not too bad, other than the fact that she’s a bitch .”
We get into Thurston’s room, and he climbs up onto his bed. I follow, and I must say, I don’t mind having Thurston climb in front of me, his glorious butt inches from my nose.
“Eyes front,” Thurston jokes.
I redden and apologize, “Sorry.”
Thurston stops climbing to wiggle his butt and replies, “I don’t blame you. Who wouldn’t want this?”
I laugh, and finally I make it onto his bed. Thurston’s sitting in his usual criss cross applesauce pose; but it’s too uncomfortable for me, so I instead curl my legs up behind me and lean on one arm.
“Thurston… I talked to Lee and,” I look at Thurston’s face and totally lose my train of thought. His cornflower blues are so large, and his brows are furrowed with concern. I find my words again, and finish, “I’m so sorry about your mom and dad.”
Thurston looks choked up, and he replies, his voice small and driveling, “Th-thanks. No one’s…. no one except my foster parents have ever told me that .”
Thurston peers up at me, his blue eyes over washed with fresh tears.
“Oh… honey,” I sigh. I hug him, and he breaks down and cries, his sobs sounding weak and fragile. I wrap my arms around him tighter, and I never want to let go of him. All I want is to hold him close and rub his back and smooth his hair and keep him safe.
“It’s okay,” I comfort, pulling my hand through the back of his hair. “Hey, shh. It’s alright.”
He sniffles, and coughs before pulling out of my reach, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Th-thanks Kyle. You’re… you’re the best boyfriend I could ask for.”
I grin and reply, “I could say the same about you.”
“Kyle, you… you don’t have to date me,” Thurston mutters. “I’m… I’m real fucked up.”
I chuckle. “Please! I have more issues than Vogue.”
Thurston laughs, and flips his hair out of his face so I can see all of him, and he smiles at me. He gradually gets closer to me, leaning on all fours. He presses his lips against mine, and opens his mouth, granting me access.
I kiss him back, pushing my tongue into the back of his throat. We lock eyes for a while before he shuts his, and I then shut mine.
I reach over him, finding the tail of his sweater vest, and lift it over his head, throwing it to the floor. He undoes his tie as we continue to make out, and lets that drop as well. He unbuttons his shirt halfway, then pulling it off.
I string one hand in his hair and place another on the small of his back, and almost withdraw it in shock; his skin is cold as ice. His skin also happens to be incredibly soft, even though I can feel his spine poking through and pressing into my palm.
I finally peck him on the collarbone, then pulling away. I stare at him for a moment, and I can’t help my eyes from flicking down to his chest. His chest is as flat as a young girl’s, and his ribs protrude. His collarbones jut out horribly, and his shoulders, bony and keen, look like amputated birds’ wings. His hipbones rise to the point that it pulls his pants out a bit from his waist, exposing even more of his red and blue striped boxer briefs. He looks strangely pathetic but cute, like a lost puppy that hasn’t eaten in some time .
He looks down at his own body, and covers himself up with his hands, blurting, “I know, I don’t look that great.”
I remove his hands to kiss him softly in the center of his chest, feeling his sternum against my lips. I look up at him, my head still extremely close to his torso. “You’re gorgeous.”
Thurston closes his eyes, and another tear slips out.
“What’s… what’s wrong?” I ask, backing off and grabbing his arms.
“Happy tears,” Thurston chokes out. He grins at me, and another tear rolls down his face and all the way down his neck and resides on one of his collarbones. “Happy tears, Kyle.”
By the time Friday rolls around, I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. I decide to wear my black swim trunks with the flames and a studded black bikini top . At lunch, I ask the girls,
“So? Who’s wearing what to the pool?”
Lee lifts up her shirt, to reveal a pink and black striped bikini top with a glitter crown in one corner. She flaps her shirt back down, grinning.
“You wore your swim suit under your clothes?” I question.
“That’s very first grade of you,” Maria snickers.
“Shut up!” Lee squeaks. “What are you wearing?”
Maria roots through her backpack, finally pulling out a blue bikini with stars on it.
“Cute!” Hadley whoops, high fiving her. She procures her own, which is purple plaid with a flower on each breast.
“Ooh, girl, Naioki’s gon’ flip! You’ll have him round your finger!” Lee jeers.
“I told you, I don’t like Asians!” Hadley snaps, a little too loudly.
A couple of tables look over and glare at her before continue eating, and Hadley steadily gets more and more scarlet.
After school, we meet up at Thurston’s locker. For the first time, I get a look at Bo and Naioki.
Bo is cute, with blue-black hair cut low and violet like eyes. Naioki is cute as well; and I see Maria eyeing him that way .
We walk over to Thurston’s house, and Bo and Lee are joined at the hip. Thurston nudges me and points at them, and I grin along with him.
We get there, and Thurston, Naioki and Bo leave to change in Thurston’s room and us girl’s change in the changing shack .
Thurston, Naioki and Bo come outside at the same time we leave the changing room. The boys and girls kind of collectively look each other up and down before starting towards the pool.
“Hurry up, guys!” Thurston screams, as he climbs up the diving rock on all fours.
“Whoa, Thurston Mountain Cat Rapp over here!” Naioki laughs.
Thurston stands on top of the rock, posed with his hands on his waist and one bony hip stuck out. “Anyone gonna join me?”
“I’m coming!” I call. I start up, my feet slipping in certain places. I finally reach the top, and Thurston sweeps me up in his arms before jumping off. Oh yeah, did I mention that the rock is at least fifteen feet above the water?
I scream and Thurston whoops until we hit the water. I feel my top slide down as soon as we sink to the bottom. I fix it as best as I can as we resurface, and let out a sigh of relief when my boob isn’t showing.
Thurston swims over to the rest and gets out, pulling his trunks up. “Whoo, almost lost these bad boys.”
“Let me help,” Bo claims, as he walks over and lifts Thurston off of the ground by his Pokémon boxer briefs , underneath his swim trunks. Thurston kicks free, laughing,
“Asshole!” He tackles Bo into the pool, where they proceed to hit each other in the water.
The girls all slowly get in, except for Naioki and Maria, who start up the diving rock. Hadley and Lee swim around the fighting boys, and over to me.
“Thurston looks really hot with wet hair,” I whisper. It’s stained black, and sticks to his brow and the back of his neck.
“Same with Bo,” Lee adds, staring at Bo dreamily.
I smack her, joking, “Hey, your boyfriend gave my boyfriend a wedgie. Control him!”
Lee laughs and holds up her hands, responding, “Bo does what Bo wants. Aint no stopping him.”
“INCOMING!” Maria shrieks, and she and Naioki come plummeting from the top, holding hands.
They hit the water so hard that it pushes Hadley, Lee and I into Bo and Thurston, breaking up the fight .
We stay in the pool, having Chicken fights , playing Marco Polo, and just lounging around until around 5:00. Then we all get out, changing back into our normal clothes. Everyone leaves, except for myself, who calls my mom to ask if I can stay over.
“Hey, mom.”
“Hi, Kylin.”
I cringe at the name ‘Kylin’. “It’s Kyle,” I remind. “Can I stay over at a friend’s house?”
“Do you have everything you need?”
“Yep.”
“Well, then I don’t see why not. Be back by dinner tomorrow, okay? Call me if you need a ride.”
“Okay thanks mom.”
“Bye, baby.”
“Bye.”
I look over at Thurston, who’s watching me with mild interest. He’s still shirtless the outdoor heat and his pants slouch to halfway down his crotch. Good thing he’s wearing his Pokémon undies. Hand me down pants, maybe? No way, his family is way too rich for that.
“I can spend the night!” I cheer.
“Yay!” Thurston squeals, lifting me up into a hug. I laugh and hold tightly onto his shoulder blades. He puts me down, and flips his damp hair from his eyes, his eyes twinkling like a little kid’s. “Hey, guess what?”
“What?”
“We should totally go swimming at like, midnight,” he suggests quietly.
“Oh, that sounds awesome,” I agree.
He smooches me on the cheek, saying, “I picked the right boy to date!”
We go up to his room. It’s so hot in there; he left his fan off; that we decide to just sit in our boxers. It’s more comfortable anyways; all of my jeans are too tight because I’ve outgrown them and am waiting for the right time to ask my mom to buy boy’s ones.
We cuddle up on his bed and watch Evil Dead , and Thurston mock screams when the girl pops out at you from the pond. I laugh and sock him in the arm, giving the ‘shush’ sign with my pointer finger to my lip.
Thurston continues to let out a fake, girly scream at every single pop out or gory scene, which is a lot. I’m laughing so hard I’m in tears by the end credits, and I’m not even sure that I was paying enough attention to recall how the flick ended.
We watch more horror movies until it’s about midnight. We creep out of the room, and the entire house is so dark that I can hardly see. Thurston takes my hand and guides me through it; he’s lived here since he was four and knows the house a Hell of a lot better than I do.
He slips off his shirt once we get outside, and I follow, leaving me topless.
Thurston turns to face me, and goes beat red as he notices I’m topless before turning away, covering his eyes. “I’m not looking! ”
“Thurston!” I laugh. “It’s fine. They’re breasts. You have them to,” I remind, walking around to face him and poking his nipple.
Thurston, his eyes still covered, retorts, “W-well yeah, b-but I don’t have b-boobs.”
I take one of Thurston’s hands and place it over my breast. His eye is still shut, and he whines, “I don’t like it!” and yanks his hand away.
I must look hurt, because when he opens his eyes, he apologizes, “I’m sorry it’s just… I’m as gay as can be. I don’t like… girl parts.”
“Oh,” I reply quietly. I pull my shirt back on, and he grabs me, adding,
“Whatever makes you comfortable is fine!”
I smile, pecking him on the cheek as I take my shirt off again, throwing it to the side. I jump in, and Thurston follows.
He pulls me up to him, and I can’t help but realize that he doesn’t care that my chest is squishing up against his. He kisses me softly, moving down to my neck.
I tilt my head back, giving him all of my neck to suck on. He bites down softly on my throat, and I’m positive that it leaves a hickey, but I don’t care.
He chuckles gently, and then swims over to the side, calling, “Come on. Let’s head in.”
I nod as I drift up to the end of the pool. Thurston takes my hands and helps me out, even running to the shack and wrapping a towel around my shoulders, hugging me and reposing his drenched head against my covered shoulder.
He walks me in, again leading me through the house. When we get to his room, he lets me sit on his couch even though I’m all wet.
“Do you want to borrow a pair of underwear and….. a shirt?” he asks. I can tell even in the grey tint of the night that he’s blushing again.
“Sure,” I agree.
He roots through his doors, tossing a Lion King shirt at me and a pair of black boxer briefs. I put them on, and turn away as he drops his own boxers, not even caring that I could see his ass if I really wanted to .
He sits next to me and wraps his arms around me. I take his arms, finding the one with the scar on the wrist. I stroke the area with my thumb, whispering,
“Poor baby.”
“Do you know what kids called me?” Thurston questions.
“What?”
“They called me ‘Narnia’, cause I was so far in the closet. That and fagface,” he replies. He chuckles mirthlessly, and rubs his eyes.
I pull him into a hug, and peck him on top of the head. “My poor little thing. You know, I just want to wrap you in bubble wrap sometimes .”
Thurston laughs. “Yeah cause that would make them stop.”
I chortle myself, responding, “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” Thurston replies. “It’s mostly stopped, though.”
“Who’s picking on you?” I ask.
He shrugs, allowing his shoulders to slump. “A lot of older kids. It’s only verbal, though. The only physical thing they’ve done for about a year is wrote “Faggot” on my forehead.”
I shake my head. “Kids can be so cruel.”
Thurston nods.
“Can I ask you something really personal?” I question.
“Go for it,” Thurston answers.
“Okay, when…. When did you try to kill yourself? And how’d you do it?”
I watch nervously for his reaction. He exhales deeply and rams a hand into his hair, pulling on the strands. “I…. um… it was in sixth grade, when I was getting bullied very badly for just coming out. I was getting my ass kicked left and right, and… I even got locked out of the locker room in my towel, because the boys didn’t want to shower with a ‘gay’ in the room. Anyways… I… one day, after receiving a note to kill myself, cause I’d go to Hell, I just thought… fuck it. And I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find, and I locked myself in the bathroom and ran a warm bath. I stripped naked and got in and pressed the blade against my skin and…. And… it was really painful. It’s not at all peaceful or relieving like they say in the movies, although I guess I did feel a bit of euphoria when I saw all that blood run. So I lay back in the tub once I’d done it, and waited to die. My foster parents ended up breaking the door down ten minutes later, and Tom he… he wrapped me in a towel and carried me out to the car. I went to the hospital, I got stitches, and…. And I never did it again. And after I tried to off myself….” He looks up at me. “That’s what it took to get kids to finally stop.”
“Wow,” I pule. I kiss Thurston on the forehead, and smile sadly at him. “I’m so glad you’re happy now.”
“Me too,” Thurston agrees. He lies back, settling his head into my lap. I pet his hair, running my fingers through the tangles caused by the chlorine of the pool and straightening them out. “I… I love you, Thurston.”
Thurston looks up at me, and smiles crookedly. “I love you, too.”
We sit in comfortable silence and Thurston eventually falls asleep, his head still in my lap. I yawn myself and lean over so that I’m being supported by the arm of the couch. I fall asleep very quickly, having some of the best rest I’ve gotten for quite a while.