Strip Club King

"When a person thinks about stripping, their mind immediately goes to the idea of the female stripper; the vulnerability, the objectification, the duty to please and seduce her male customer. But the world of the male stripper is an entirely different one to experience. It's the entertainment and showmanship involved in the elaborate group dances and choreographed home visits. It's the wild and unrestrained screaming and cheering from a laughing female audience. A juxtaposition of the erotic and the absurd, male stripping is twice the work of it's counterpart; but when done right, it's twice the fun."
-Chapter One, The Extensive Guide to Successful Male Stripping

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The room was dark, the stage lit only dimly with a blue light so the men could find their starting positions. They couldn’t see into the audience, but it didn’t matter. When the blinding stage lights illuminated the stage, the seats and tables and bar looked like a black abyss anyway. It was silent in the moment between the stage becoming visible and the track starting, but the guys were used to that too. The music was less that and more sound; it started with just jungle noises that the group wearing nothing but loincloths on stage moved slowly in caveman-like manners to. It only progressed to add some beat that seemed to go along with the squawking birds and screaming monkeys, but the routine picked up some. The sporadic primal movements became more choreographed, walking in certain directions, turning and rolling of the cut bodies. They even did a few in sync dance moves and pelvis thrusts, although there were several near-collisions and mishaps. The audience was silent the entire time.

The routine ended with an acappella jungle drum solo performed by a man with short brown hair while the other three landed in suggestive poses on the ground around him. They held the stances for some time, as if waiting to hear applause or screaming to invite them to move. It didn’t come. Instead, a dim light flicked on in the pit, revealing the single audience member sitting in a chair with a clipboard and pencil. She stared blankly at the group in front of her before sighing loudly and rubbing one of her hands over her eyes.

“We’re closing the club.”

“WHAT?!” The guys on stage immediately dropped their poses, hurrying down from the stage and erupting in comments.

“What do you mean we’re closing the club?!”

“It couldn’t have been that bad!”

“Let us see your notes!”

“Was it really that bad?!”

“Well if Tyler would pull his head out of his ass-“

“Don’t put this on me! You’re the one with the shitty choreography!”

“You’re the one who can’t dance!”

“ENOUGH!” The woman shoved her chair back into the table she was seated at and slammed her clipboard on the table. There were no words, but plenty of numbers. “This isn’t about your routine. I mean it is. But it isn’t. We aren’t closing just because of that routine. We’re closing because I have to sell. The bank is threatening to foreclose and we aren’t making a profit. Hell, we aren’t even breaking even!” She sighed and looked at the men in front of her apologetically. “I’m sorry I have to do this. But it’s a business, and I have a lot of businesses I have to maintain. I can’t afford to keep up with this one.”

“There has to be something we can do, Lana-“

“Nothing I haven’t done already, Gabe. I’ve already let six guys go in the last 2 months to cut employment costs. We were at the bare minimum of dancers then, but I thought even with just you four we could pull by. But we can’t. There are just too many clubs in Vegas that are better at it than we are. I have to sell.”

The four men watched their boss take her clipboard off the table before climbing on the stage and walking behind the curtain to the back. They waited until they couldn’t hear her flip flops anymore before turning to each other.

“Sorry I said you can’t dance.” The one with blonde hair patted Tyler’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. Sorry I said your choreography sucks.” Tyler turned to lead the group back to the dressing room.

“Now what?” The man with curly dark hair began taking off his arm and leg bands. “Lana didn’t say anything about tonight. Are we still going on?” He threw his costume in a laundry basket labelled 'Michael'.

“We’ll go on. We can do the jungle show. I know we didn’t get feedback, but we know what needs fixed.” The blonde one folded his costume into a basket labelled 'Gabe'.

“But what about after? When the club shuts down, we’re all gonna be out of a job.” The man with longer brown hair spoke for the first time since Lana broke the news.

“Don’t worry Brendan. You’ll have no problem finding work somewhere else. You’re great at stripping!” Michael gave him a reassuring smile from across the room.

“Thanks DZ. But I couldn’t have been that great. We barely have 10 customers a night. That doesn’t look good on a resume.”

“I wish there was something we could do,” Gabe pulled a hoodie over his bare chest before slipping his shoes on. “But it’s probably too late now. And we definitely don’t have the money for a coach.”

“Let’s just focus on tonight. I convinced my ex to have her bachelorette party here.” Tyler smiled deviously as the guys shook their head.

“You’re ridiculous, Tyler. Let’s go get something to eat.”

xxxxxxx

The performance that night was actually better than the rehearsal earlier in the day, with no one stepping on anyone else and not slip ups in memory. But the group was still lacking in everything other than their good looks and fair dancing skills. Luckily, Tyler’s ex turned out to be quite the wealthy woman, and even though she and the rest of the hen party seemed only mildly entertained by the strip show on stage, they still gave some courtesy cat calls and stuffed even a few fives in the strings of their loincloths. To Tyler’s dismay, she refused to bring him with her for whatever the group had planned for the rest of her night in Vegas, so he was stuck helping the other guys carry boxes from the attic to the first floor so Lana could sort through everything.

“If you guys see something you want, just take it. I don’t think I’ll be back in the stripping business anytime soon.” She left the guys to close up and make a final count. The boxes were full mostly of costumes, but some had props and even set pieces to elaborate shows that the previous owner had left.

“Maybe we can use some of these to put together new routines!” Brendan suggested enthusiastically, but Tyler scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“We’re probably only going to be here another week, what’s the point?”

“It’s not a bad idea; maybe if we come up with a really good idea, we can make enough money to convince Lana to stay open a little longer! Then we can keep doing that until we’re raking it in!" Michael was tossing things in and out of boxes, examining different pieces and putting them together.

Gabe shoved a box in Tyler’s arms before picking one up himself. “Let’s just take this stuff out to the trash. The only way we’re gonna make Lana money at this point is if we clean the building up enough that she can sell if for a good price.”

The quad shuffled down the stairs, each with a box to toss in the dumpster across the street. They filed outside and headed that way. When they made it to the other side, the sound of laughing caused them to stop.

“No shit! It’s true then? 'Starbutts' is officially out of business!”

Two men with three women on their arms were about to get into convertible, but had apparently stopped just to laugh at the scene ahead of them.

“Fuck off.” Gabe mumbled before dumping his box in the trash.

“You know, guys, if you needed help on your moves, Pat and I would be more than glad to help you!” The brown haired one opened the back door and helped two of the laughing women in. The other got into the passenger seat with the blonde man driving. “But we’re a little busy right now. Maybe another time?” He gave one last pity look and a laugh before getting in and closing the door behind him.

“What an ass.” Brendan grumbled as they trashed the rest of the boxes and trudged back across the street. “What do they have that we don’t?”

“Besides the fact that ‘Richards’ is one of the most famous male strip clubs in Vegas?” Tyler laughed. “Maybe you can apply there, Brendan.”

The group, used to the taunting from the more successful male strippers down the street, quickly put the encounter behind them and got back to work in the attic. Nearly half an hour passed before Gabe found it.

“Hey guys, come look at this.” They crowded around Gabe on the floor. In his hands was a paperback book, a plain brown cover that looked like it had been held by a lot of different people. There was no title on the front, but the creases in the spine were plentiful. It seemed like every few pages were dog-eared. Gabe flipped to the first page, the title page.

“The Extensive Guide to Successful Male Stripping…” Tyler read it out loud. Michael reached for the book, but Gabe snatched it away and turned the next few pages until he got to the one labelled ‘Chapter 1’

“Well, this looks like a great read, but it’s absolutely useless now. We’re shutting down. You said it yourself Gabe, the best we can do is clean this place spotless, so toss that book in a box and let’s get the rest of this crap to the dumpster.” Michael and Tyler stood back up, Brendan looking at the book for another moment before joining them. Gabe flipped through the book one more time before shoving it into the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie and grabbing a box to follow the boys down the stairs.