Love, Lies, and Friendship

It had been three days, and everything was going fine. The looming threat of having to come out lingered in the back of my mind, but I was so busy spending time with my family and family friends, that I didn't have time to think about it much.

It was the fourth day, when everything went pear-shaped.
I had been in the garden with Tom and dad, we were getting a barbecue started, and listening to the football on the radio. Mum was inside doing something, then all of a sudden there was a loud cheer and the three of us all turned to see one of our old friends, Darren, walking towards us with mum following behind, carrying a pack of beer and grinning broadly. He made a bee-line for me and we hugged each other happily, I was happy to see him, he was one of mine and Tom's best friends in college, the most off-the-rails kid you could ever meet, but genuinely kind. So we added some more things to the barbecue and got settled into a good conversation. I was going to get more drinks when dad followed me in.

"How you holding up?"

"I'm ok, just...seeing old friends brings it up, I just wanna say it really, but I don't know how Darren would react, I don't want him to upset mum more than she probably already will be." Dad nodded.

"Probably a good idea. Anyway, I'll take some of these." He left and Darren walked in, putting beer cans in the bin. My heart pounded slightly as I realised how close I'd come to involuntarily coming out of the closet.

"Everything ok? That convo sounded pretty serious."

"Oh, yeah, just umm...had a fight with a friend in London, one of the reasons I came back." Darren nodded and walked over.

"I've missed you, Sykes, it hasn't been the same without you. Everything's boring nowadays."

"You've been saying that since college, and yet you lead one of the wildest lives." He laughed.

"I guess so. Hey, I was thinking the other day, do you remember that time in college we both got so pissed on after shock? And we like...fooled around, a little bit?" My cheeks burned at the memory, and Darren chuckled quietly.

"So you do remember. God that was a good night, wasn't it?" I frowned slightly and met his eyes as he moved slightly closer.

"Yeah I guess, awkward as fuck the next day though." He made a low humming sound and I began to feel uncomfortable about the close proximity of him.

"I was thinking, I haven't heard from you in so long I don't even know what's going on with you, how your life's going, the love life - got anyone interesting?" My mind flicked to Josh and I shook my head.

"No? Not at all? Girlfriend...boyfriend, maybe?" My heart rate quickened and his lips curled up in a slight smile that I found to be oddly sinister.

"I'm sorry, I always play too much, I heard your conversation with your dad. So you're gay, huh-"

"Shut up!! Ssssh for Christ's sake!! Look, Darren, I haven't told mum or Tom yet and I don't want-"

"Ssssshhh....." He pressed a finger to my lips and I stood there rigidly as he stroked the finger down my neck. He suddenly grabbed me and pulled me to him for a kiss, alarm bells went off in my head, I didn't want this, I didn't want to do this- I pushed him away but he was stronger and kept kissing me. I pushed him as hard as I could and he stumbled back for one moment.

"I like you when you're like this. You're more interesting...." I slapped his hands away from me.

"Cut it out. This isn't funny, Darr-" I flinched as he grabbed hold of my wrists.

"Look, you'd better start being a bit nicer, or else mummy and Tommy are gonna find out in a way that you really don't want them to." I hated the way he was hurting my wrists, I hated his words, and the threatening tone in which he spoke them, I hated the look in his eyes as though he was enjoying this, most of all, I hated the fact that I was frightened of someone who used to be my best friend.

"What do you want-"

"Just, don't push me away next time. I'll keep your little secret, I like you too much to want to tell it, but if you push me away....you'll really hurt my feelings."

"I'm going to give them their drinks." I croaked and walked away, blinking in shock. I hadn't realised that I was quiet for the rest of the evening until mum said something about it once Darren had left, forcing me to make some far-fetched excuse.

I lied in bed that night and tried not to get angry or upset as I thought about the situation. My best friend from college was blackmailing me to...well, I didn't know exactly what he wanted from me, he'd already forced me to kiss him once. Surely he wouldn't do anything worse than that...I got angry after that thought and couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. In the morning, after considerable fuss from my mother about my apparent lack of sleep, we were sat having breakfast when my phone buzzed, a call from Darren.
"Who is it?" Tom asked.

"Darren."

"You aren't going to ignore him are you Oli?" I paused and they all looked at me expectantly.

"No, no of course not." I picked up the phone and strode out of the room, closing the living room door behind me.

"Hello." I said curtly, hundreds of more apt greetings for such an apparently despicable person hurling themselves to my lips, then being swallowed back.

"Hey Oli! I was wondering if you wanted to come over today, watch the footie, play some video games like we used to, have a couple of beers-"

"Then fuck out of blackmail? I'm good, thanks."

"That's a shame Oli. A real shame." The threat hung, implied in the air. My jaw clenched irritably.

"What? What are you really gonna do, Darren? Either way one of us is gonna tell my family, and I don't give a shit anymore which one-" He started laughing, and it cut me off.

"What?"

"You think I'm gonna tell them? I never said that. I said they'd find out in a way that you really don't want them to." My blood ran cold.

"What are you planning on doing then?" I kept my voice steady and calm, on the inside I was anything but.

"There's a few more imaginative ways I can think of doing these things...pictures of you begging for more with my dick inside you, a recording that you didn't know was taking place maybe, or I could just come over to your house and fuck you anywhere I like - let's face it I'm stronger than you - and wait for mummy to find us." I felt sick to the stomach as he spoke.

"So what do you want."

"Come over, have fun, don't be a frigid little bitch and you're safe, basically."

"It's not gonna be fun anymore, Darren. How do you expect me to sit there next to you and watch a game, or talk, or play video games like we used to...without this hanging over us? It didn't need to be like this, you know. You were my best friend, if you'd've tried to date me I probably would've been up for it. But this? I'll come over, but don't expect it to be like it used to." Silence hung heavy from the other side of the line, and I eventually hung up, glad that maybe my words had sunk in.

"Guys...I'm going over to Darren's, he wants to talk about something, I'll see you later!!" A chorus of goodbyes rang out and I left begrudgingly, not wanting to do this, and just praying that he'd seriously listened to what I'd said.