Status: (Outfits will be in a blog. Just look at IML Outfits)
It's My Life
Eight
~Chaselyn
I slowly rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 9:40. I had 2 hours to get ready for Mia's funeral. I haven't gone to school yet. Not when all I wanted to do was cry. I've cried myself to sleep everyday since. Then Drake called last night and said he had to stay down in Oklahoma and couldn't come up for Mia's funeral.
I hated him for that. I hated my mom for letting her skip multiple meals. I hated myself for letting everyone let her become anorexic. I hated God for taking her away from me. That wasn't fair. I needed her. We were going to die our hair! We were going to go to her dance competitions. She was going to come cheer my team on at State. I quickly tried to stop thinking about her because I didn't want to start crying again. I heard my phone start ringing.
I sighed and picked it up. "Hello?" I say about to break.
"My mom said I don't have to go to school so I can go to Mia's funeral." I hear Darien say.
"Okay. Can you come over right now? I just don't want to be alone. My mom went to work for a couple hours and it going to be off when the funeral starts. And yeah."
"Yeah. I'll be right over."
"Thanks." I hung up and went into the bathroom. I plugged in my curling iron and brushed my damp hair. I heard a knock on the front door. I ran downstairs and opened it. He walked in and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and stopped myself from crying. We went upstairs and he curled my hair for me. It looked really good. I put a fake smile on. "Thanks I love it." He grabbed my make up and put it on for me.
"Are you going to get changed?" He asked noticing we had a half hour before we had to be there and it was a 20 minute drive.
"Yeah." I say and he gets out. I put on my outfit my mom laid out for me and we left. I knew that Darien had a crush on me. He was really cool too. I think I might be getting sick though. "Darien?" I look at him.
"Yeah?"
"I feel like I'm going to be sick." I say.
He pulled into McDonald's and helped me out. He carried me bridal style to the bathroom. I ran in and fell to my knees throwing up in the toilet. After a few minutes I was done throwing up. I was starving too. I heard the door open and I saw Darien standing where the stall door would be if it where closed. I looked up at him. "Are you hungry?"
I nod slowly. He offered his hand and walked me out to the cash register.
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" I had started crying.
"Can I have 2 chicken sandwiches with large fries and two medium sodas?"
"Yeah." Darien payed and turned to me. I was trying to stop crying. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a tight hug. We got our food and drinks and went back to the car. I downed my drink and ate my food really fast. I was still hungry though. Darien handed me his sandwich.
"No thanks." I say.
"Are you still hungry?"
"I'll eat when I get home." He threw the sandwich on my lap. I gave up and ate it. We arrived at the funeral.
~~~
"I believe Chaselyn has something prepared." I stood up and walked to the podium. I took a deep breath, looking at my mom, Darien, the person who runs the funeral, and Mia's dad. I looked down and over to the coffin. Tears filled my eyes. This is it. This is goodbye. I say to myself.
"I'm not going to lie." I speak, "I didn't prepare anything. I tried and tried again. But then I realized that you can't just plan how to say good bye to someone. So I gave up trying. The best good bye is the one unplanned." I felt the fresh warm tears hitting my cheeks slowly. "I can't say good bye though. Not to someone so important to me. Whether she is....gone. Or whether she is living. She's always going to be here. I remember when I was 12 and had to babysit. She had broken her arm jumping off the top bunk and I carried her to the hospital. I took care of her. She was my life. There's nothing I ever wanted more than for her to know I loved her. We fought on multiple occasions," I was really crying but I kept going. "But I still loved her. She was still my little sister. My best friend. I hate myself for letting her destroy her body. For being anorexic. I hate my mom for letting her skip meals. I hate God for taking her. I hate my boyfriend for not being here. I hate the whole DAMN WORLD because she was taken before she should have been. I remember when I had to miss her birthday multiple times because I was going to a fast pitch game. I remember crying on her shoulder. I remember her crying on my shoulder. I remember things that she wouldn't even remember. I can't say good bye to my best friend when everyone is telling me to. It's just hard. But I guess I have to. So Mia, I know that you're looking down on me with your gorgeous smile spread trying to show me a light side. I know you're up in Heaven happier than ever. I know you're going to be my guardian angel. I just don't want to say good bye. But I know that no matter what you're still standing next to me. I just want you to know I think about you all the time. Even when I have so much to worry about even in the late hours of the night. You're always on my mind." I walk away. From the podium. From my mom. From Darien. From the funeral.
I slowly rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 9:40. I had 2 hours to get ready for Mia's funeral. I haven't gone to school yet. Not when all I wanted to do was cry. I've cried myself to sleep everyday since. Then Drake called last night and said he had to stay down in Oklahoma and couldn't come up for Mia's funeral.
I hated him for that. I hated my mom for letting her skip multiple meals. I hated myself for letting everyone let her become anorexic. I hated God for taking her away from me. That wasn't fair. I needed her. We were going to die our hair! We were going to go to her dance competitions. She was going to come cheer my team on at State. I quickly tried to stop thinking about her because I didn't want to start crying again. I heard my phone start ringing.
I sighed and picked it up. "Hello?" I say about to break.
"My mom said I don't have to go to school so I can go to Mia's funeral." I hear Darien say.
"Okay. Can you come over right now? I just don't want to be alone. My mom went to work for a couple hours and it going to be off when the funeral starts. And yeah."
"Yeah. I'll be right over."
"Thanks." I hung up and went into the bathroom. I plugged in my curling iron and brushed my damp hair. I heard a knock on the front door. I ran downstairs and opened it. He walked in and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and stopped myself from crying. We went upstairs and he curled my hair for me. It looked really good. I put a fake smile on. "Thanks I love it." He grabbed my make up and put it on for me.
"Are you going to get changed?" He asked noticing we had a half hour before we had to be there and it was a 20 minute drive.
"Yeah." I say and he gets out. I put on my outfit my mom laid out for me and we left. I knew that Darien had a crush on me. He was really cool too. I think I might be getting sick though. "Darien?" I look at him.
"Yeah?"
"I feel like I'm going to be sick." I say.
He pulled into McDonald's and helped me out. He carried me bridal style to the bathroom. I ran in and fell to my knees throwing up in the toilet. After a few minutes I was done throwing up. I was starving too. I heard the door open and I saw Darien standing where the stall door would be if it where closed. I looked up at him. "Are you hungry?"
I nod slowly. He offered his hand and walked me out to the cash register.
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" I had started crying.
"Can I have 2 chicken sandwiches with large fries and two medium sodas?"
"Yeah." Darien payed and turned to me. I was trying to stop crying. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a tight hug. We got our food and drinks and went back to the car. I downed my drink and ate my food really fast. I was still hungry though. Darien handed me his sandwich.
"No thanks." I say.
"Are you still hungry?"
"I'll eat when I get home." He threw the sandwich on my lap. I gave up and ate it. We arrived at the funeral.
~~~
"I believe Chaselyn has something prepared." I stood up and walked to the podium. I took a deep breath, looking at my mom, Darien, the person who runs the funeral, and Mia's dad. I looked down and over to the coffin. Tears filled my eyes. This is it. This is goodbye. I say to myself.
"I'm not going to lie." I speak, "I didn't prepare anything. I tried and tried again. But then I realized that you can't just plan how to say good bye to someone. So I gave up trying. The best good bye is the one unplanned." I felt the fresh warm tears hitting my cheeks slowly. "I can't say good bye though. Not to someone so important to me. Whether she is....gone. Or whether she is living. She's always going to be here. I remember when I was 12 and had to babysit. She had broken her arm jumping off the top bunk and I carried her to the hospital. I took care of her. She was my life. There's nothing I ever wanted more than for her to know I loved her. We fought on multiple occasions," I was really crying but I kept going. "But I still loved her. She was still my little sister. My best friend. I hate myself for letting her destroy her body. For being anorexic. I hate my mom for letting her skip meals. I hate God for taking her. I hate my boyfriend for not being here. I hate the whole DAMN WORLD because she was taken before she should have been. I remember when I had to miss her birthday multiple times because I was going to a fast pitch game. I remember crying on her shoulder. I remember her crying on my shoulder. I remember things that she wouldn't even remember. I can't say good bye to my best friend when everyone is telling me to. It's just hard. But I guess I have to. So Mia, I know that you're looking down on me with your gorgeous smile spread trying to show me a light side. I know you're up in Heaven happier than ever. I know you're going to be my guardian angel. I just don't want to say good bye. But I know that no matter what you're still standing next to me. I just want you to know I think about you all the time. Even when I have so much to worry about even in the late hours of the night. You're always on my mind." I walk away. From the podium. From my mom. From Darien. From the funeral.