Blood

Two days. Forty-eight hours. That's how long it had been since Brian had seen Kory. That's how long it had been since he had gotten any sleep. He wasn't sure exactly how he would mend things, if that were even possible, but he had spent the last few hours thinking of a thousand ways to do so and then finding some small reason to shoot them down. At least, now, he'd have a few hours to get her off of his mind a little bit. He was ordered by Marrissa to pick up Melody from the studio, in order to bring her to the fitting that had been scheduled. All of the guys would get measurements done for the wedding, and Melody (along with three other girls that Brian didn't know), would make sure that their bridesmaid dresses fit. Kory was supposed to go as well, but Brian wasn't sure whether or not she'd actually show up. He highly doubted it.

He greeted Clara with a gentle smile, before walking back towards the familiar studio where Melody was said to be. He noticed that both she and Speederman, the tech guy, were bickering quietly in the kitchen. "Mel?" Brian asked, knowing that they'd both be running late if they waited very long. And Brian knew that neither Matt nor Marrissa would be very happy with that.

Melody stared at Brian for a moment, before glaring at Speederman. Just seconds later, she was no longer menacing, but rather the chirpy girl that she usually was. "Hey. Just let me get my jacket real quick," she said, walking into the same studio that Avenged had recorded in.

Brian could here faint laughter coming from the room, before the door closed again and it was silent. Speederman was glaring daggers at him, and he wasn't sure why. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?" Brian asked.

The scrawny, much younger boy scoffed and shook his head, a disgusted look on his face. "You're a monster. You know that?"

He stared at Speederman with a confused look. As far as Brian knew, he and Speederman had only talked a few select times. And even then it wasn't enough to know anything about each other. So why was he coming to these conclusions so quickly?

"I'm disgusted by your apathy. You couldn't care less about how she feels, could you?"

It all made sense then. Brian had completely forgotten about the little crush Speederman had had on Kory. He thought that, by now, he'd be over something like that. But, then again, it made sense why he wouldn't be. How could anyone get over someone like her? Still, he didn't know Kory like Brian did. He knew next to nothing about her. "She has a name, if you didn't know. Why don't you just get over her? She'd never be interested in someone like you," he spat back, not guilty for a single word that had escaped his lips.

"Hm. It seems as if she isn't interested in someone like you, either, am I right?"

His words sent Brian straight into rage. But he was too exhausted to bicker with someone who wasn't worth his time.

Speederman grinned maniacally. "That's what I thought." He grabbed a plate from the counter, and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be a gentleman and go on a genuine date with a girl who deserves much more than you could ever give," he said, walking past Brian.

"She's not going to eat those. She doesn't eat raisins. Not that you would know," Brian said, crossing his arms over his chest. Judging by Speederman's actions, he knew that Kory was here at the studio. Part of him was thankful, because he had missed the sound of her voice. But the other half wanted to flee, in fear that he would make things worse for the both of them.

He only scoffed. "Yeah, right." He walked back towards the studio that Melody was currently coming from, her bag in one hand and her jacket in the other.

Melody glared at Speederman as if he had killed someone near and dear to her, mouthing an incoherent word that even Brain wouldn't question if he was on the receiving end of. But, Speederman didn't seem to care. He just sighed and beamed as Kory walked out of the room, behind Melody.

Brian was surprised at the state of her. Her hair was a mess, she had no makeup on, and she looked like she had been awake for weeks. She looked miserable. No, not miserable. She looked pained and agonized. Yet somehow she still managed to smile when Speederman handed her the envelope. It was so broken, so fragile and foreign. He wanted to forget everything that he'd ever wanted or needed and just tend to her, her wanted to hold her until she pieced herself back together again, until she was back to being the strong Kory that she was a year and a half ago.

Guilt was all that he felt. Brian had forced her to see him. He forced her to notice him, to fall in love with him and give him the time of day. He had changed her. He had hurt her. He had made her into this. He tore her down from the inside out. It was his fault that her eyes were completely hopeless. He couldn't help but think of how she'd be if he hadn't hit on her that day at the music shop. She'd probably still be happy. They'd be friends, she'd probably be with Speederman, she'd still be producing records in between publishing her books. But he couldn't wish that he hadn't, because wishing that he hadn't tried to get with her would mean wishing away the nights at the cabin, it would mean wishing away the "I love you"'s, it would mean wishing away all of the smiles he had emitted out of her. And he couldn't do that. He wouldn't. Not now, not ever. So, in the end, her misery was her own fault, right? Because she was afraid. Because she didn't know how to react to being loved from every angle. Because she was foreign to the feeling of someone possibly loving her more than she loved them. It was her fault.

Melody was the one who had brought Brian back to reality. When he glanced back at Kory, she was different. She was no longer sad. She looked happy. It was a mask, and both he and Melody knew that, but he didn't have enough time to react because Melody had shoved him down the hallway and out of the building.

"I'll drive," she said, reaching into his jacket pocket and getting into the drivers side of his truck. They still had roughly a half hour before they would arrive for the fitting, Melody knew, but she was more worried about the unceasing silence in the car. There was no music, no words, you couldn't even hear a single breath. She decided that the best thing was to let out her rage, before she was around a large group of people before the fitting. "He had no right to ask her out on a date like that. It wasn't fair to Kory or to you. Kory doesn't even like him! I can't believe she said yes to him. She's been annoyed with him since middle school for god's sake!"

"Wait," he interjected, "She said yes?"

Melody sighed, but nodded. "I guess so. Brian, look. I know that my sister isn't the easiest person to love. I know that, when it comes right down to it, she's a bitch. And I can't excuse that. She just doesn't know how to take affection. Do you understand? She has it embedded in her mind that someone loving her the way you do is some kind of cruel joke and she's just protecting herself. Don't get frustrated by her. She actually does care. And she knows that you love her, but it's a form of self defense. Granted, it's a bad one, but still. It's Kory. That's who she is. I think that, by now, you've realized that you'll either love her unconditionally or hate her with every fiber in your bones."

Brian nodded. "I know," was all he said, before sighing.

"It's not your fault, you know. She hates herself. That's just what she does. No one will change that, not even Marrissa and I. Trust me, we've tried. But you can. You just have to stick around a while longer. Wait it out, everything will be alright," she comforted. It was clear to Melody that Brian was in love with her older sister. That was obvious. Everyone knew that. And Kory was in love with Brian too. But 'trusting your gut' made things difficult for her. Melody wished that it wasn't that way, but it was.

"We go back on tour in two days," he stated, "And here I am, causing the one girl I love all of this pain. What does that say about me?"

Melody hit Brian's arm. "It means that you're holding out, stupid! That's what you need to do! Wait for her! That's all she ever needed, you idiot! Did you not here a word I just said?"

He laughed lightly at her sudden outburst. Melody wasn't very intimidating unless she was truly angry. It was like a little kitten stretching to make itself look bigger.

"Don't laugh at me!" She said, despite the soft giggle that had escaped her lips.

Brian chuckled. "You both have the same laugh. Has anyone ever told you that?"

She shook her head. "No, everyone always said that we were nothing alike. Do we really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. When it's genuine, I mean."

Melody grinned. "So, are you guys ever gonna get married?" She asked, laughing softly.

The question took a second for Brian to think about. The option itself seemed to be eons away, but then again, he had never really thought about it. Kory had never talked about getting married, or having kids, or anything of the sort. He wasn't sure how to answer Melody's question.

"Don't think too hard. It's a possibility to come in the future. Got any music?"



Kory hated being here. It's not where she was supposed to be. Why did she even say yes? "What kind of music do you listen to?"

Speederman grinned. "Linkin Park will forever be my favorite band," he answered.

She only nodded, poking at her food. She forced a smile and and took a sip of her water, unable to think of anything other than how desperately she wanted to leave. Speederman was a good kid, he really was. He was sweet and loyal and protective and everything a girl could want and more. But, he wasn't what Kory wanted. Not by a long shot. Why did she want so badly to prove to Brian that she would have been fine without him? She wouldn't be. Why does she continuously play this stupid game? She herself didn't know the answer to that.

"Korris-"

"It's Kory."

"Kory," Speederman corrected himself quickly, and sighed, "I know that you don't want to be here. How much more obvious could you get? What's wrong?" He was certain of the answer already, but she needed to speak. She couldn't go around and hold everything in forever. She'd collapse in on herself if she did.

"Nothing. I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Speederman gave her a look that made her feel guilty enough to actually open up. Besides, it's not like he, of all people, would ever judge her for being afraid. "Have you ever been so afraid of something that you avoid it at all costs?"

He nodded, chuckling softly. "Yeah, actually."

"I'm completely afraid of love. Maybe that's stupid, but I am. It scares me to death, the thought of forgetting who I am without someone else. I've always been convinced that it's because of my mom and dad, what happened to them. But in reality, it's just me blaming my insecurities on someone else. I just don't think that I'll ever be good enough for anyone, let alone someone who deserves the world. So, I guess that's just it. I'm afraid."

Speederman gave her a small smile. "You do know why I had never asked you out before now, don't you?" He went on when she shook her head. "Because I'm afraid of rejection. The same way you're afraid of love. I'm just as insecure, and it took me eleven years to ask you out. Kory, don't take eleven years to fall in love. It's not worth it. All it is is hundreds of sleepless nights, days of fantasizing of what could be, and hating yourself because you're stupid and don't know what to do. Fall in love a thousand times, with a thousand different things. Something that's not music, because everyone knows that you've already done that. Fall in love with your future children, fall in love with a painting, fall in love with a pet, fall in love with everyone you see across the street. Because not everything leaves. Some do, yes, but most stay. And, if not in your arms, then in your heart. You don't ever truly lose something, you know."

She was quiet for a long time, assessing all that he had said. "That actually makes sense. But, were you really that afraid of me saying no?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Pretty embarrassing, huh?"

Kory shook her head. "No, it's kind of motivating. Not that what you did was a mistake I can learn from, but, well, I mean-"

Laughing, he interrupted her. "I get it. It's fine. How about I pay for this, and then I can take you to wherever he and your sister went. For Rissa's wedding, I think Mel said."

"I'd really appreciate that, Speederman. Thank you, for all of this. I really needed it," she stated. She had gotten her coat, and given the directions that Marrissa had texted her just hours before to Speederman.

He was right. She needed to fall in love. She didn't want to wait eleven years for something like that. She wanted it now.