Blood

One more. One more to forget.

And another, and another, and another. Blurry vision and a slight headache, but she wouldn't stop. Not until the voices did. Not until her cold fingertips became warm, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears, until the dim room became too bright, before her eyes became too heavy to keep open. She could feel the small amount of innocence left in her screaming through her bones. But it didn't mean anything to her, not anymore.



Before Korrissa even opened her eyes, she knew exactly where she was. She could feel the needles inside of her arms, injecting the clear liquid into her veins, she could hear a nurse's quite footsteps on the other side of the room.

"They should get you a punch card; get the next visit free," the nurse said, sighing. The faint scribbling of a pen on paper could be heard.

Finally opening her tired eyes, Korrissa sighed. "Say that again and I swear you won't make it home to your accidental children," she spat, sitting up. She began pulling the needles out of her arms, wincing as she did so, and waited for the nurse to leave before stripping herself from the hospital gown and searching for her clothes.

As she was pulling her jeans on, Nicole walked in. "Korrissa, this needs to stop. This is the sixth time you've been in here for alcohol poisoning," she stated, helping her daughter clasp her bra on, searching for her shoes as she pulled the white top over her head.

"I'm fine, I just drank a little too much is all," she mumbled tiredly, pushing her knotted hair behind her ear. That wasn't entirely the truth. She felt as if she had consumed the exact amount she needed to; it was Nicole who had arrived too soon.

Nicole shook her head. "Shut up. You're not a damsel in distress, you're fine. Jesus," she said, fishing a pair of sunglasses out of her Prada bag and handing them to the younger girl. She wrapped her arm tightly around Korrissa's frame as they walked down the hall and outside into the brisk air. She helped buckle her seat belt in the passenger side.

As they were driving, Nicole thought it best to explain things to Korrissa now, instead of her finding out for herself when she got home to see most of her things in boxes. "Korrissa, I have to tell you something."

The tired girl only groaned in response. She didn't feel like conversing, all she wanted to do was sleep for hours without any interruptions.

Nicole sighed. "I love you, and you know that. I love you so much, and if there was any other way to help you then I would. But, there isn't. And the only option I have is to send you back to your dad."

Korrissa nearly choked. "What? No! I'm twenty-three years old, you can't make me do that! Nicole, I'm not going back there. Do not send me back!" Suddenly, she wasn't tired any longer. She was angry, and even a bit upset. She couldn't go back to Huntington. It wasn't fair. She couldn't face everyone there, let alone Mason. She couldn't look him in the eyes. She had lied to him for so long. And Melody, how was she supposed to talk to her? And Marrissa, too? And Matt! Oh god, Matt. There was no doubt he was still friends with Matt, and Marrissa was still with him. How was she going to avoid that?

"Listen, if there was any other way, things would be different. But you need to leave. I may have misinterpreted things when you said you needed to leave, to get away from everyone in California. But I didn't, in a million years, believe that this is what you meant. You're killing yourself! And, granted, I'm not the best person in the world, we both have that in common, but I am your mother. And I love you. I'm not letting you kill yourself! Because one day, I'm not going to catch onto the signs quick enough and you're going to die! I hate to admit it but Mason takes care of you a thousand times better than I do. You're going back," she said, finality in her words. She didn't doubt it one bit that Korrissa was going to live with Mason. There was no way she was staying here. Nicole wasn't entirely sure what all had gone down in California, seeing as Korrissa never talked about it, but nothing could be horrible enough to end her own life. She had so much talent and compassion, deep under the tainted endorphin's she had developed the last few months.

Running her hand through her dark hair, Korrissa sighed angrily. "How could you? You do realize that I'm just going to want to kill myself even more if I leave? Everyone's going to be so happy! Oh, Kory's back, how nice! You don't have the right to take this choice from me! So what if I end up dying? What exactly would that affect?" Her voice was louder than it had been in weeks. And, what with her throat still raw from the previous night, it wasn't helping anything.

Nicole was taken aback by her sudden statement. "What would it affect? For fuck's sake! It would affect everything! Me, your sister, your father, Marrissa! Don't you dare tell me that it wouldn't affect anything because you know damn well that's untrue!"

"Either way, it's still my fucking choi-!"

Nicole cut her enraged daughter off, not allowing her to think this way. "No! No it's not! Life is terrible for everyone, Korrissa, not just you! Grow up!" She pulled over to the side, not able to get another word out before the furious girl threw herself out of the car and stalked up the stairs to her apartment. She followed her, even though the door was slammed shut and locked before she could catch up. "I don't want to leave on this note," she stated calmly, knowing that she was listening, even if she was angry.

She didn't say anything, but Nicole could hear her bustling around the room. It was no surprise that she remained silent. It was so much like her, it was almost ridiculous.

Suddenly, a soft click could be heard. Nicole immediately opened the door, sighing as she saw her daughter, so beautiful and gentle, with a pained expression. Nicole wrapped her arms around the younger female protectively. "We can go get something to eat if you'd like, and then come back and start packing. Your flight comes in tomorrow," she said, giving Korrissa a small smile.

Korrissa only nodded, letting Nicole guide her back down the stairs carefully. "Do you have my phone? I wanna talk to Marrissa," she said, once they were on their way to Korrissa's favorite pizza place.

Nicole nodded. "I already called. She'll be at the airport," she informed, handing the small touch-screen device to the fragile girl to her right.

What if you painted them dark red? It would remind you of the studio," Marrissa suggested, a smile on her face.

Kory nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice. But what shade? I kinda like this one, Dressage Red," she said, making her voice sound very posh.

Marrissa thought for a moment, examining all of the other deep reds before saying anything. "What about Sangria? It looks closer to the one at home that that," she said, motioning to the paint sample in Kory's thin hands.

Nodding, Kory grabbed the sample from Marrissa, walking back towards the desk to get help to find the paint itself. She groaned, "What am I going to do when you go back next week? I'll probably either starve to death or gain seventeen thousand pounds from take out food," she said, sighing.

"Oh, you'll be fine," Marrissa said, laughing. "Nicole can cook for you, I'm sure she'd be willing. And you'll be visiting in three weeks too, so don't forget."

Kory giggled softly. "Trust me, I won't."

The memory was one of the only ones Korrissa had that she didn't want to forget. She didn't want to forget Marrissa. In truth, she only wanted to forget him. But in order to do that, she had to forget everyone else as well. And that was difficult, probably the most difficult thing she had ever wanted to do. Perhaps that's why it never turned out the way she had planned. Maybe she was being selfish, maybe she did need to grow up. She just had no clue how to go about something along those lines. She never had.

"Rissa?" Her voice was much more fragile than she though it would have been, but she didn't care for trying to sound strong. She didn't need to with Marrissa.

"Oh my god, Kory. Are you okay? What's wrong?" Her first instinct was to worry, she usually did. Especially now. She had no idea that Kory was in and out of the hospital for fatal choices, and she felt terrible for being so upset with her for avoiding everyone. But, she couldn't be angry with her now. Not when she was like this.

The concern in her voice was enough to make Korrissa cry for the first time in months. "Yeah. I'm, I'm fine. I'm just, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry Rissa. I have to go, and I'm sorry I can't talk more, but I just wanted you to know that.

"We can talk tomorrow. It's okay, it's all okay. Be careful tonight, alright?"

"I will, I promise," she said. And, with that, she hit the end button, turning her cell phone off and handing it back to Nicole. "It's okay, it's all okay," she repeated aloud. And it would be. Difficult, yes, painful, quite, but okay. It was all going to be okay.